Change is Inevitable
by DMLG Softy
Summary: Post season 7. Martin and Louisa realize that Change is indeed inevitable if they want to make their marriage work, but can they do it? I'd like to add that English is not my first language...so I Do apologize for any grammar errors. it's also my first attempt ever writing a story, so excuse my mistakes, everyone has to start somewhere, right? Enjoy! And I LOVE reviews!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Sitting on the hill watching the helicopter take away Martin's latest patient, thoughts were running both wild and free through both Louisa's and Martin's heads. There was silence between them, but not the unbearable kind. They were just sitting there, close to each other, head to head.

Martin have always been amazed at how Louisa shares and shows her emotions….The way she looked at him, the way she tells him how she feel, the way she likes to touch - his arm, his cheek , his back, his hair….the way she smiles at him. OH God! She is such an emotional person…and says it like it is….good or bad…sometimes she just boils over…saying whatever pops up in her head. How can anyone do that….? WHY can he not be like that…if for nothing else but HER? He knows he needs to do MORE of that, be More like her…for them…for James Henry…but how… how can he, after 40 odd years, change that…..?

Louisa has always been amazed at how controlled Martin Ellingham is. How you simply cannot tell what he's feeling - he hides his emotions perfectly! He never loses control over it. Well almost never …she bore witness to that for at least two or 3 times… BUT still…he is emotionally challenged at the best of times….He will never just take her hand to hold it (well only once she can recall – ages ago). He barely just kisses her (again she can only remember 3 times he did). He does not say what he want, what he needs, HOW he feels…! How can any person be that… shut? How do you go through life without emotions and feelings boiling over…controlling it so perfectly? She needs him to be able to TRUST her completely, open up to her, he must let go… loose a bit control…! That's what she wants, No, needs from him. Is there any way he will ever change? Will it ever become easier for him…will he be able to let go…after 40 odd years …will he be able to change?

And what about her? Surely she has problems as well. That became clear with Dr Timothy. It cannot just be Martin's fault. She has to admit that she might as well need some help. Can she change, not be so … presumptuous, pushy…to judge him, to wrongly assume the worst. He never let her down in the past; he's as steady as ever, she can rely on him until eternity that much is true. She was always the one that expected too much from him, and then turn to run if he'd not delivered. Surely she needed to do some self-reflection.

Martin worked up some courage and kissed his wife again. …Not quit understanding why it always feels so difficult to do it, when clearly they both enjoy it very much.

Louisa admired him like so many times before. She realised that she uncontrollably loved this man! How could she have ever doubt it? He showed – yet again - how astonishingly amazing he was!

Martin was starting to relax, feeling relieved that the ordeal was over! And he is not just thinking about the patient situation. His adorable, beautiful loving wife is sitting here next to him, saying that she realise they are not "normal". That's no secret!

He was scared – no petrified, that he would not see her – and James Henry – again. He needed to let her know…he must make things better…and… he will! He needs Louisa, he loves her. And he loves his precious son.

"Louisa…" Martin spoke softly, tenderness ever present in his voice.

"Yes Martin", she was barely whispering.

He loves the way she says his name…it made him feel special, she made it sound special!

Clearing his throat, he continued. "I need to change, don't I? Ruth told me a while ago that I must change if I want to keep you. I tried. I simply don't know how…uhm …to change. Can you help me? That is, would you _want_ to…help me?"

Louisa took quite a while to answer while Martin waited with anticipation. He thought she did not want to answer as she did not have an answer. Maybe he was wrong. He read the signs wrong. She might not want to… help…him. He was just about to say that they should probably head to the car when she started to speak.

"You cannot just expect someone to change, can you Martin? I did. I was wrong." She looked into his eyes, remorse showing in hers. "I am really sorry about that Martin. Trying to change you was just a recipe for disaster….YOU never expected me to change" She looked a bit sad while she spoke.

"I love you, Louisa from the day I saw you, the way you are. You are…perfect"

Louisa glanced at him again, but looked away, staring in the distance. "People don't just change their ways, especially at such a late time in their lives. I thought that I could change you in order to have this perfect normal family, a perfect husband, and perfect marriage, a picture perfect life! The way I dreamt of as a little girl when mom left us. I decided that one day my life will not be the same as hers, her choices were wrong, she left me and dad! My life, my family would be normal. But Martin" – and she looks at Martin with soft, loving, admiring eyes, the only way she could after realizing how close she came to mess this all up, "like I said just now, we , me and you , we are Not normal , we're very far from it. And …that's alright."

"Uhm, Yes, Correct. However, things were not really good, were they? I buggered it up pretty good." His head was low, his shoulders hang, he looked…beaten. "I realise that I am not the best for you and James Henry as it is. I will do better."

He looked at Louisa, and she saw pain in those soulful eyes, she felt really sorry for what he's been through.

He looked away over the grasslands and continued: "Clocks. I know clocks. I can relate to them. Me and you are like a tightly wound up clock. There were too much tension. We need to unwind it a lot to take the tension of the main spring. If there is too much tension on the mainspring and you try to work on it, it snaps. You can get hurt, loose a finger! I…have tools…to fix clocks…but I have No tools to fix our clock….Louisa, I need the tools."

After a couple of seconds, he turned and looked at Louisa with pure admiration, love and disbelieve that this wonderfully beautiful women was here with him, talking with him and just kissed him. THIS woman married him, had his baby. She left, but she also came back. When he was kidnapped, she came to look for him. Even when the village idiots told her that he might have just left her and James Henry…! He could Never leave them….he loved them so much, it hurts, really physically hurts, he even thought there was something medically wrong with him, but the past 2 days made him realize that love hurts…even when its good.

The way Martin looks at Louisa always made her feel….special, loved, admired…sometimes uncomfortable as the look were so intense, penetrating, as if those big blue-grey eyes were searching her soul for answers, she might not even have.

"That was uhm …an extraordinary comparison to our relationship! And very true to you." Louisa gave him a small smile.

"Well Martin, maybe you don't have to change, course, who would you be then? You will not be Martin Ellingham anymore! The person you are is who I fell in love with, who I still love. SO to answer your question, Martin, NO, I do not need you to change. I only need to see more of the loving, caring, kind-hearted sensitive man that I know you try _so_ hard to hide. I really need that Martin to come forward, play a bigger part in our everyday life. I need to see you try really hard to not be so angry and rude to everyone. You also need to talk to me more _,_ _ **show**_ me you _**care**_ , tell me how you feel, what you need and want. That's what I need. Those are things that need to change. Marriage doesn't guarantee that you'll be together forever; it's just a piece of paper. It takes trust, commitment, understanding, friendship, love and faith to make it last. Those are the Tools to our clock!"

She let out a huge sigh and continued. "I know I can be difficult to live with some times, can't I? I am messy and all over the place, you are not used to it, and it must frustrate you enormously. I was also used to living on my own, by my own terms; it has been difficult to adjust. I must admit that much. Maybe Dr Timothy was right, maybe I wanted you to fail, as that is what I was used to all my life? I never gave you a chance to proof me wrong, I assumed things, and without talking, really talking, I jumped to my own conclusions and then turned and ran.

"Look, there are ways we can try to improve _**us**_ , I know we can. And if you are willing, I am willing to give myself 100% to work together. Our marriage is worth fighting for; you are worth fighting for Martin."

Martin listened attentively as Louisa just talked her heart out. It was needed. She needed to say it, he needed to hear it. It was good.

When she was done, it was quiet for a while, and then Martin spoke, his voice was a little trembling. "I believe marriage is supposed to bring out the best in each other, as you have someone who love and accept _**you**_ for who you are, and work together at the things you are rubbish on. Is that not the reason you were drawn together in the first place? You are supposed to be a team, united. That's what I believe a marriage should be like. However, I never had a good example of one. Except for Joan and Uncle Phil…maybe, but the last time I visited them, I was eleven, so after that. Well.

It's not in my principle to lie, to you or anyone. I believe it's a good trademark on my part, which you need since you did not have that security when you grew up. Therefor I could also never cheat on you. That is simply not part of my morals.

You … you see the good in everyone. You are spontaneous, friendly, very sociable…I…I…those are things I could be taught. If…" he swallows hard. "…if you still want to."

Louisa was quite surprised by this revelations that Martin thrown on her just now. "Right. Yes. Now that's a mouth full, especially coming from you, but yes, you are right. And somehow I have forgotten that along the way. You are still the most interesting man I've ever met. I find you very intriguing. I want so desperately to get inside your head, but I have come to realise that's nearly impossible. So I would work hard to rather stay inside your heart, cause that I can handle much better. I will help you…but like you said, this is a partnership, we are in this together. I would also like us to work on me. I have many faults and also need you to help me."

"I really love you Louisa" there, he said it again, and it felt easier!

Louisa knows that for _her_ Martin to say those words, twice in the last couple of minutes, must be soul crunching, so she does appreciate it even more.

"I know Martin, and I love you just as much."

Martin stood up and pulled his wife up, but did not let go, he pulled her very close to him, and once again, he kissed her, passionately, deeply, displaying all that he was ever afraid to show her in this soul baring kiss…and he could tell, she was returning every emotion he was feeling….With this kiss, both of them felt more true emotion, more feeling, more love, than ever before, and they instinctively know, that if possible at all, they love each other even more, and that there might definitely be change…


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

A week later and life have returned to what it was before….well almost. Martin was back on duty at the surgery and Louisa at school filling her Head Mistress duties. But a little change has occurred. Martin and Louisa were both staying at the surgery. The decision of the change happened while driving home in Martin's Lexus, when they drove from the Wilton farm.

Louisa – being the touchy-feeling kind of person she was - wanted to hold Martin's hand or something, merely to be able to touch some part of him, but obviously the ever cautious Martin would not allow that while driving so she decided to let her hand rest on his thigh.

When she moved her hand to his thigh, he nearly turned over the car, he looked at her, eyebrows raised, his big eyes full of…no she don't even know what those eyed tried to say, ask.

"Problem?"

He did not answer, just took her hand and quickly squeezed it, before returning his own to the steering wheel. Her hand is so small, warm and soft. Never ever before had she done this, and it felt good. He could drive for hours like that.

"Should I take you back to the house, or do you need to go to school?" Martin asked, breaking the silence.

"The house, please. I let the school know this morning that I won't be in due to a personal matter, so I can just go home now. I am pretty anxious to hold James Henry. Janice is still with him. I left in such a hurry this morning, but I am sure she would have called if anything was amiss."

"Good." He glanced at her quickly, but forced himself to keep his eyes on the road.

"What about you Martin?

"Hmm?"

"Are you also coming to the surgery?

"If you don't mind. I missed James terribly. Last night -" His words kept hanging in thin air; he could not finish his sentence.

"Sorry about that, must have been scary."

"Yes, like I said, quite unusual."

"Martin, I know we have a lot of unresolved matters, but I meant it when I said we should go home…that means you should come back to the surgery, to be with me and James Henry. That's our home. It feels… odd… without you there."

"Louisa…" and for once he did not keep his eyes on the road, "do you really mean that?

"Off course, Martin. We would be happy for you to come home! Me and James."

He suddenly took the hand that was resting on his thigh, and brought it to his mouth and gently brushed a kiss on her fingers. When she looked at him, she could see tears filling his eyes, and she felt her heart nearly breaking for this man.

He swallowed hard, and did a splendid job in getting control over his feelings, as usual.

"When I said that I could not go on like that, I meant that I could not live like that anymore, without you and James. I could not stand it to leave you every evening, and go to that horrible little house. I wanted to be with you. "

"Martin, when you said those words, I thought it was the final nail in the coffin, I thought you'd given up on us. Do you remember that we were supposed to have a list of the positives of being single again? She looked at him, and he just nodded. "Well, I could not get myself to write anything. I did not want it to be single again. I am married. And that's how I want to stay.. "

"Me too", he said softly. "I had nothing."

"O! We are the worst!" Louisa cried out. "Here we are, feeling exactly the same, but we could not manage to say the most important things to each other, yet we claim to love each other. We really need to work on that Martin. Can we at least try going forward, to speak our minds? Can you tell me what you think, what you need, how you feel. I realise I need to tell you exactly what I want, how I feel, as most of the times, you have no clue. I assume you know things, and you just don't, you …just….you're not like that. Sometimes when I talk to you, you look at me as if I'm speaking French. But we know where our shortcomings are, so I believe me and you, we can do this Martin. We can."

Martin quickly glanced at Louisa. He saw the seriousness in her eyes.

"Yes" he said and squeezed her hand in his.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

While he sat at his desk in his office, Martin had a rare time off where no patient were booked for the next time slot. While gazing out the window, he recalled what happened that very same evening. His ears lit up like two Christmas lights and he felt his cheeks flashed a bright red as his mind travelled back in time.

Upon their arrival back at the surgery, they found Janice waiting patiently with James Henry. Luckily she did not ask any stupid questions, just handed over James Henry to Martin, and took her bag. Louisa thanked her for staying with him all day and even longer than usual. Martin made a mental note to ensure she was correctly compensated for her efforts.

Martin took James Henry, and for a moment, he forgot about the rest of the world. He just hugged the little body of his son as close as he could. He breathed in the all too familiar smell of baby cream and talk. James looked up at him and grinned a little. He took Martin by the ears and put his small head against the very large one of his dad. They looked into each other's eye and stayed like that for a minute or so, until Martin heard Louisa sniffed heavily. He dragged his eyes from his perfect son, and saw Louisa standing by the door, tears running down her face.

"Louisa, What's wrong, why are you crying!"

"O Martin, I'm sorry! The sight of you two is just so immense! And I think all the emotions of today - it's just so… Just look at you…." she waved her hands in their direction, and then reached for a tissue in her handbag. But the tears just kept coming, until Martin walked over and embraced her with his big arms, the 3 of them standing in the kitchen, the rest of the world forgotten. But then James had enough of it, and started to squirm and gurgle to get out. Reluctantly Martin let go. As far as he was concerned, they could have stayed like that forever.

"I am sorry James?"

Martin looked over James' head at Louisa, It looked like she was done for now. She looked at him, and gave him one of those magical gorgeous smiles of her.

"Ah, do you mind if I go wash up, maybe take a shower? I believe some of my things are still upstairs? Martin felt that he was in need of a thorough scrubbing. He felt dirty, hungry and tired.

"Off course. I'll take James up for a bath after you're done. You are still staying here, right Martin?" Martin saw big question marks in those beautiful eyes of hers.

"Hmm, Yes.

"Perfect. James and I will go to the market quickly and get us something for dinner, right? "And with that she, walked over gave him a small peck on the cheek, put James in his stroller, grabbed her bag, and left through the kitchen door.

It was suddenly dead quiet. Martin went upstairs and looked through the drawers for some of his clothes. He was not able to take everything when he moved to the other house, as it was simply too small. A lot of his suits were still in the closet, some underwear and pyjamas was still in the bottom drawer. He never felt so relieved to take a shower ever before. There were still some left over soap and shampoo of his that was kind of tucked away to the side. After his shower, fully dressed in a clean suit again, he just lay back on the bed, just to catch his breath, appreciating the silence, but soon the feeling of intense exhaustion overwhelmed him, and he drifted off into a slumber.

When Louisa and James returned, she started dinner immediately. She put James in his high chair. She did not hear anything from upstairs and thought Martin might just be busy dressing himself. She was glad he decided to stay. After dinner was done, she took James and headed upstairs. When she came into her, no, their room, she saw Martin asleep! She knew he needed it, so she just left him like that and decided to take James and give him dinner, and then she'll give him a bath.

After James' very messy dinner, she took him upstairs. She was busy playing with him in the tub, when she felt that she was being watched. When she turned around, Martin was standing in the doorway.

"Oh, hi! I am just finishing off James, then we can have dinner. That all right?"

"Yes, fine. You should have woken me up."

"Why? You clearly needed a nap."

"Hmm"

After she dressed James, they went downstairs and she saw that Martin already dished up. He must be hungry. She put James in his playpen with some toys.

They ate dinner in complete silence, except for some baby talk coming from James. He was sure babbling more and more these days. Soon he would probably be able to say his first words!

After dinner, they cleaned up the dishes together. It felt good, normal.

"I will take James Henry to bed now, Martin.

"Oh yes." Martin walked over and gave his son a small kiss on his head while his to fingers touched his forehead.

Louisa headed upstairs with James. Martin stood in the kitchen, not sure what to do. He heard Louisa in the nursery, busy reading to James Henry. Occasionally she even sang a little, he loved that! She had the most amazing voice. He was still very tired even though he had a nap and decided that he will go to bed early as well. He ensured everything was locked downstairs and headed upstairs where he stood in the doorway of the nursery. Louisa's back was turned so she did not know he was standing there. He enjoyed the view. It was …calming.

After quite a while, James was finally asleep and Louisa saw Martin holding up the doorposts.

"That took a little bit longer than usual, but he's out like a light now. Luckily he's a good sleeper these days, so unless something is seriously wrong, he might sleep through the night." she said. "I guess I can go for a much needed shower as well. I'll be out in a jiff."

Martin entered the bedroom after Louisa disappeared into the bathroom. It was filled with a lot of Louisa's things, clothes here and there, shoes, handbags, luckily not too messy. It felt great to be back. He saw that some of his Medical Journals were still on the nightstands on "his side of the bed". It made him feel very good, at least he knew that Louisa still thought about him. He quickly changed into his blue flannel pyjamas. He got into bed, took one of the journals and started reading.

After a few minute, Louisa came out of the bathroom, with just a towel wrapped around her. Her hair was wet, hanging loosely over her shoulders as she used her hands to get rid of all the knots, her face clean, cleared of all the makeup, and she brought the smell of feminine cleanliness with her - it was intoxicating. Martin looked up and was stunned at how extremely very beautiful she is. He was openly staring at her.

"God Louisa, you are so very beautiful!"

Louisa looked up, and saw the look on Martins face. She knew that look, she missed it. "Thank You Martin, it is always nice when you tell me that, Even though I haven't heard it in quite a while."

"I did say it when we were in session with Dr Timothy"

"I know, but that wasn't exactly said… _ **to**_ me"

"Right" He looked down at his reading material again, knowing all too well with her just standing there, looking like that, there is no way he could concentrate on reading a single word. Why does she do that? Why was she making things so difficult? She stirred things in him that he might not be able to control, and he never wants to lose control with Louisa, ever. Even though he knew how to control his urges, after many years of practice, it was still so very difficult. He did not dare to look at her!

"Martin…" Louisa's voice were soft, he did not want to look, afraid of what his expression might show. Don't she know how extremely hard it is to evoke self-control? Doesn't she know the huge amounts of …

"Martin! Look at me, please"

He looked up slowly, releasing a huge sigh! He was shocked to his core as Louisa stood there, naked, since she dropped the towel to her feet.

He never knew he could move that fast, but in a split second, he was up, next to her and picked her up in his arms. She let out a little giggle when he lifted her off her feet and into his arms. He then placed her softly on the bed. She was biting her lower lip, a sign of uncertainty, but then she gave him a smile and all he could do was to start kissing her softly. First her lips, lingering kisses, filled with emotion. Then the soft little spot on her neck, he felt the shivers on her body. He continued his kissing spree, softly, very slowly. Down her neck, on her shoulder, down to her breasts, first the one, then the other one, he lingered there for a while, as he loved it there. She had the most amazing soft breast and he could kiss it all night long, but his passion and desire drove him to continue, down to her navel, taking small bites as he goes, hearing her small noises of pleasure as he continued. He quickly moved back to her mouth, and kissed her with such passion; it felt like they were both in another world.

Louisa could not bear this another minute! She was now crazed with anticipation!

"Martin, please make love to me… now?"

He did not need to answer, as his body answered for him! After a while, they both fell to the pillows, exhausted! The anticipation was too much, they both reached their peaks far too quickly, but neither cared, they were together. They both longed for this. They needed it.

They both laid there for a couple of minutes, catching their breath and also thinking about what just happened. For a very long time they were not intimate at all; making love was pushed back due to far too many outside factors. They both dreamt of this for a long time, and were not disappointed at all.

Martin was just about to get up, but Louisa holds him back. "And where are you going, doctor?" She used her "head mistress "voice, and he felt guilty immediately, as if he was caught doing something really bad.

"Uh, I …I… loo…, and I want to put on my pyjamas" he said.

"No, you are not getting dressed."

"Why?" Horror written all over his face.

"Firstly, I don't ever want to see you in those ugly conservative button tight blue flannel things again, never. And secondly, I need to feel _**you**_ against me all night, can you manage that?" Louisa felt she explained exactly what she wanted, she said what she needed. She just hoped that Martin understood.

Louisa was lying on her side, her hair spread across her pillow, her hands resting softly in front of her lovely breasts….She was the image of perfection; how could he refuse anything she asked him at that moment?

"Oh…Fine"

When Martin returned, he saw that Louisa covered herself halfway so that only her upper body was open, she did not get dressed. He slipped into bed, and he thought she was asleep, but then her hands reached for him and pulled him very close to her. His whole body touched hers; he put his arms over her and lightly caressed her breast.

"That's it, just how it should be" she whispered. "Please don't ever leave me alone in this bed again."

The following morning, Martin was startled awake. Something is not right. He glanced at the clock, it said 04:30. It's still dark outside. Then he felt it. Something was …? Kissing his torso! He looked down and saw Louisa busy caressing his stomach region with her lips.

"Louisa!" Martin whispered loudly. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, dono, trying to wake up my husband…do you think he will wake up if I keep doing this?"

He reached for her and pulled her up to him; her whole body were completely on top of his. She cupped his face in her hands, and gently kissed him.

"I missed you. I missed your touch and your soft lips."

"Oh, Louisa, you're driving me crazy! Where did all this… come from? We never…"

"That's the problem! We need to get comfortable and spontaneous with each other, we've never been. That is a huge problem. Get out of your shell Martin, let go, take advantage of me, and kiss me whenever you feel like it. That is my mission in any case, so be prepared, as I am your wife, and will start acting on it! So…where was I…"and with that she straddled him and started moving very seductively! It only took a split second for him to decide what to do. It was a great way to start the morning!

"Doc, Mrs Winters' here for her appointment! Can I send her through?" Morwenna's voice ended his daydreaming of the events that happened roughly a week ago.

"Yes, that's fine"

As the elderly woman went to sit in the chair in front of him, he shifted all those memories to the back of his mind, and was in full "Doc Martin mode". However, just before he asked the women why she was there, he made a mental note about something he must do.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Martin sat in front of his computer, in his office. The last patient left a couple of minutes ago. He was glad as he wanted to search for something on the internet. He was scrolling, with a huge frown on his forehead. He was so busy; he nearly had a heart attack when Morwenna yelled from the front desk: "Bye Doc, see you tomorrow! And Doc, we're really happy you're OK and all you know! See ya" and with that he heard the front door slammed closed.

"Good ridden" he mumbled, before he returned his attention again to the task at hand.

Martin decided that it was time he, Louisa and James took a little break, go somewhere, just the 3 of them. He thought that it would be something Louisa would like. She did suggest something like that previously but then he was stubborn. He could only realise how important it actually were for them currently.

He was actually thinking of planning it as a surprise. He knew he is kind of crap at things like that, but if he planned it really well, and put some serious effort into it, he could pull it off. As a rule, he liked to plan things, and have a project to work on. He wanted to surprise Louisa with something nice and dare he say it, romantic, a weekend they will all remember, even though James was a bit too young. But he even has a plan for James to remember as much as possible, only if it would be later in his life!

He was so engrossed in his search, he did not even hear his family entering the kitchen. It was only after Louisa came to his office, to check if he was done with his daily consultations, that he realised the time.

"Martin, are you done?"

"Hm" Yes. How was your day?" He got up quickly and walked over to the kitchen. He thought that he will work on his project again later tonight. He doesn't want to put it off any longer. If he could manage it, he wants to put his plan into action for the weekend that follows next, as the Friday was the mid-term break, so Louisa would have a couple of days off, and he needs to call Parsons to advise him that the surgery will not be open From the Friday afternoon till Monday.

"Oh, today was really very busy with for the mid Term tests, so everything is a bit rushed at school at the moment. I really feel exhausted lately. Will be happy when the break comes. Yours? "

"Fine. Any other…symptoms…apart from exhaustion? Do you feel dizzy? "

"Stop! " Louisa's hand was up in front of Martin's face to stop Martin's interrogation. "Relax Martin, I am only tired, which is expected. I have long tiresome days at school, James in the afternoons and evenings. It's just been busy, I am still learning how to cope with everything, you know. But I am not really complaining Martin. I just need you to sympathise with me and make me feel everything is going to be OK. I just need you to listen to my meaningless blabbering. I need…your support. To know I can come home and tell you everything! Don't take everything in life and turn it into a medical issue.

"Right. Sorry. I will try."

"Uhm, so what are your plans… for the break?" Martin looked at Louisa with a little frown forming on his forehead. Maybe Louisa already planned something, it's only been a week since they started living together again, and they did not discuss everything yet. He was not sure what her plans were.

"Oh, I don't know. It's only a small break, and normally I just take the time to relax a bit, get refocused, you know that sort of thing? Why? "Louisa looked at Martin, a bit sceptical, as he never asked her these kinds of questions before.

"Just… wanted to know if you … plan to … go anywhere?"

Louisa thought that Martin was afraid that she might think of going away – again – for the break…maybe to her mum or somewhere. "No, Martin, I am not going anywhere. Me and James are staying right here.

"Good"

They continued to follow their daily routine – as they now got used to again – Louisa took James Henry for a bath, Martin started dinner. After James' bath time, Louisa normally put him in his play pen, with some toys and helped Martin with whatever needed to be done to finish dinner. During their dinner, James was put in his high chair and was also given his dinner, and they left him to explore his plate as much as he wanted to. They did keep a close eye as to how much he actually was able to put in his mouth; to be sure he ate enough. He enjoyed it very much as he was really getting bigger now. After dinner, they would quickly clean up James Henry and his surroundings, and also did the dishes together. Then Martin would take some time to just be with James. He would actually sit down on the ground with him in the living room and put some toys around them. Whatever James decided to take, was whatever they "played" with. James liked the building blocks, and Martin would try to stack them high, until James would push them over, laughing and screaming with excitement.

Later that evening, after Louisa took James up to bed, she came and sat next to him on the sofa. He was reading an article in one of his Medical Journals, but truthfully, his mind was working out every detail he planned for the trip with his family. Apart from the weekend away, he also planned another surprise for Louisa that they will need to discuss in fine detail. So when she dropped down on the sofa next to him, he was startled.

"Martin, you ok. You were far off just now?"

"I'm fine"

"If you say so, ready to go to bed?"

"Yes"

And with that they both headed upstairs for the night. Since that very first glorious night and morning he returned, they were not intimate again. Life was just too busy, getting everything sorted again with Martin moving back. After long days at the surgery and at School with the break coming up, they both were exhausted at night, and just fell into bed. Those were one of the reasons Martin wanted to take Louisa and himself away for a couple of days. They needed time alone, and away from the rest of the world and all its hazards. His plans for both his projects are now almost halfway done, he only need to finalise a couple of things, like shifting appointments and ensuring he has a list of everything they needed to take along for the trip. He would finalise everything the next day, and then it's only a matter of telling Louisa about his plans. Now that he thinks about it, he wonders if he should have asked her first. Past experiences told him that there might be a chance she might again feel he did not include her in the decision making of this, but he will deal with it soon. Maybe she will forgive him, when he reveals his second project to her.


	5. Chapter 5

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Chapter 5

Wednesday evening was D Day for Martin. He will discuss his plans – that are now 110% worked out and ready for execution – with Louisa so that she also have enough time for packing her and James' things for the trip.

While sitting at the dinner table, he released the bomb, or to him, that's what he fears it will be.

"Louisa, remember I asked about your plans for the break?

"Yes…?" She looked up from her plate, those big eyes of her full of question marks.

"I sort of have a surprise planned for you, but unfortunately I will have to reveal it as you will need to prepare."

"Wot!?" When Louisa was a bit blown away by something her Cornish accent came out strongly. Martin could not help but to think how gorgeous she looks right now.

"I planned a weekend away for the 3 of us at a cottage about an hour and a half's drive from here, for this coming weekend." There, the bomb was dropped.

"You di wot?"

"I'm sorry Louisa," Martin thought by the look on Louisa's face, he needed to start explaining. " I really wanted to do something nice together, and I also wanted to surprise you, so I am really sorry for not asking you before I did all the planning. Are you angry about it?"

With that Louisa jumped up, and Martin thought this was it, here comes another full on row, the first they will face after his return home.

But as usual, he misinterpreted the look on Louisa's face.

Within a flash she was next to him, and hugged and kissed him!

"You silly man! Off course I am not angry. This is the best surprise ever – well apart from James Henry! "

"So, you'll go with me?"

"I cannot think of anything else I want to do more. Well, maybe one other thing, but …. Thank you Martin for the invitation, we gladly accept. I don't think we ever went away – together - before. This is exciting. Oh my, that means I have almost no time left for packing! She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You just blew my hat off, Martin!"

"So you like the surprise, even though it's kind of ruined now that you know."

"Yes, I like the surprise and cannot wait for this! I still don't know exactly where we are going, so when we do get there, I will still be surprised. Now, can I ask you a favour? Could you maybe tidy up here and do James' reading tonight? Then I can go start packing as I will only have tonight and tomorrow night?"

"Off course".

While busy cleaning up, he could hear how busy Louisa was upstairs. He took James to his room and after he read one of his silly books, James fell asleep quite quickly.

He gave James a kiss on the head and touched with his fingers to the child's forehead. You did well, Martin Ellingham, he thought to himself.

When the Ellingham family finally drove out of Portwenn Friday afternoon, Martin could feel his tension lifted. He could not believe his Big Lexus were fully packed for a trip of only 3 days, but travelling with a small child required all these things. He only made sure that when he started packing, he loaded his suitcase and all the food supplies first so that it would not be forgotten in all the mayhem. He did not want to leave the Holiday Cottage for any reason, so he intensively planned all their meals to the finest details so that he could buy and pack exactly what they needed. After Louisa brought all her and James' things, there were not space for a mouse, but Martin did not say a word. This weekend he planned will go as smooth as possible, he don't want any rows.

While taking the hour and a half drive, Louisa decided to put on the radio and listen to a radio station that played some modern type of music. Not at all his choice of music, but after listening to a couple of songs, he has to admit they were not half bad. One song in particular had some words that he though was quite interesting.

 _Eyes, like a sunrise_

 _Like a rainfall. Down my soul_

 _And I wonder,_

 _I wonder why you look at me like that_

 _What you're thinking_

 _What's behind, don' tell me_

 _But it feels like love_

 _I'm gonna take this moment_

 _And make it last forever_

 _I'm gonna give my heart away and pray we stay together_

 _Cause you're one good reason_

 _You're the only girl that I need_

 _Cause you're more beautiful than I have ever seen_

 _I'm gonna take this night and make it evergreen_

Normally he would feel that this romantic clap-trap nonsense is not for him and Louisa, but the words in the song were meticulous. He thought about it for quite a while, and stored it in his master Ellingham brain, to retrieve when necessary. He felt like those words were specific to this weekend.

"Hmm…what is the name of this song?" Martin's sounded a bit …awkward

"This,…hmm, oh this is Evergreen. Truly a nice song. The lad that sings it, is Will Young. He was the first Idols winner in Brittan, ever. "

"What's that?"

"Wot, Idols? Oh it's a reality series on the telly where they search through thousands of people for the next great singer. He was the winner of the series. He's got quite a great voice. I fancied him from the start. Watched the show every time. It's quite popular. You never watched?"

"No, never heard of it. I don't watch much … television. Just a waste of time."

"Oh, it's really a nice song though, right?"

"Yes."

Louisa was really taken by this. She never thought that Martin would like any other music except classical. When she put on the radio, she thought he would immediately put it off, or change the station to FM Classics. That was…unexpected.

25 minutes after they left the last town, the nat-sav said they could turn onto a well maintained gravel road. They were driving for the greater part of 10 minutes, when all of the sudden a beautiful little cottage popped up in front of them. The sun was hanging low, and on the backdrop of the cottage, the ocean was in full glory! It looked like a picture on a postcard.

"O my..!" was all that Louisa could say, her mouth literally hanging open.

They stopped in the driveway and got out of the car. Martin went to the back door and got James Henry out of his car stool. There was a nice little picket fence surrounding the cottage, with a wooden gate. Martin opened it and they walked towards this little piece of heaven.

The front looked beautiful with a wooden build in porch, some pot plants all over and two rocking chairs to complete the look. Martin found the key where the owner left it, and they walked in. The inside was quite a surprise, as from the outside it looked like a pretty old cottage, grey slate walls and such, to withstand the ocean's onslaughts, but when they walked through the front door, they were amazed. The living room to the left was quite spacious with 3 super comfy couches, a centre table and to top it off, a brilliant fire place. The kitchen to the right was modern, new equipment, neat, spacious enough.

Between the kitchen and the living area was the staircase that lead them to the upper level of the cottage. To the left of the stairs was one master bedroom en -suit, with the most beautiful Modern type queen sized bed, nice lightning and beautiful bedding. To the right, was a smaller room, a single bed, also en-suit, very spacious, lots of room to put in James's fold-up.

Martin with James in him arms, called Louisa to the master bedroom. If the photos on the website were correct, he was sure he needed to show Louisa the view! He walked to the blinds, and as he pulled them up, Louisa gasps out in awe!

"WOW! That is the most amazing view! Its breath taking"

While Louisa was looking out at the marvellous view of the field filled with small flowers and then the ocean with the sun hanging low, Martin was looking at Louisa's face, her expression!

"YES, you are".

Louisa's head snapped to the side, and she saw Martin staring at her, instead of the view.

She felt how the hot blood crept up her neck and lit up her face, she was blushing like an 18 year old school girl!

"Hm… I will go get our bags. If you and James aren't too tired, we can maybe take a walk to the beach?

"James slept almost the whole time we were driving, so I am sure he would quiet enjoy a stroll to the beach. And I am always willing, especially with two handsome guys, how lucky can a girl get?"

"Right" said Martin and quickly disappeared to unpack the car.

It was quite a mission to unpack and settle everything "to its rightful place", as Martin said , even though this was only their home for 3 days, but after 45 minutes, everything was settled.

Louisa went to "James' room", changed his nappy, and clothes, and headed downstairs to tell Martin they were ready.

Martin was standing outside on the back porch which had the same spectacular view as from their bedroom. The Porch had some of those long wooden "pool chairs" that you can lie on, and in the far left corner was a Jacuzzi. She can only imagine how great it must be to relax on those chairs, or relax in that Jacuzzi! Martin in a Jacuzzi? She sighed loudly! That will be worth seeing!

Louisa only realised that Martin did not have a jacket on when he turned to face them. She was so taken by the view out there, that she nearly missed the view right in front of her. His sleeves were rolled up, and, the best of all, he did not even have a tie on! Gosh, he looked… handsome, and she felt flutters in her stomach! Again with the 18 year schoolgirl act! Get a grip Louisa, she reprimanded herself, you don't want to get all mushy and scare him off. It must have taken a great deal of courage for Martin to do that!

"Martin, you look fantastic! This look suits you! I never imagine that I would ever see you without…a full suit. NOW I am the one who is admiring the breath-taking view."

"Oh, Louisa, it's nothing! Are you ready to leave?

"Would you mind if I went to change into something more comfortable as well? It will only take a minute?

"Fine"

Louisa was back in 5 minutes, dressed in a tight fit jean and red top, with a loose cami over her shoulders. Even though it was a glorious afternoon, perfect weather, she knew all too well that it can get quite chilly if the wind blew along the beach.

They went out back, and Martin mentioned that the brochure said that the beach was quarter of a mile from the house, so they could easily walk there with James' stroller as there was a nicely cleared pathway up to the beach. When they reached the beach, they turned left and just walked, silently, each with their own thoughts. Martin was pushing James' stroller and Louisa put her arm through Martins, they just enjoyed the moment, drinking in the glorious feeling of being together as a family, enjoying a relaxing stroll. James was baby-talking to the birds, the sand and the ocean. He was also enjoying this new experience, and Martin felt very satisfied that his family was clearly enjoying this!

After walking for quite a long while, Louisa said: "We should probably head back; the sun is already really low and will soon disappear altogether"

Martin's shoulders shrugged and he said "Yes, we can do it again tomorrow"

"I cannot believe that we did not come across a single soul when we walked"

"This is a very secluded cottage; the closest resident is about 2.5 miles from here to the left, there, around that bend," He was pointing towards a bend about 2 miles from their own cottage." And to the right, the nearest house is 6 miles.

"A perfect piece of heaven I would say" Louisa though that Martin probably searched very hard to ensure he could find a place so remote. She also noticed that they had no cell phone reception at the cottage. They would actually be able to spend a full weekend without interruptions.

Back at the cottage, Martin said that he would start dinner; Louisa could take James up for his bath.

Martin started dinner, and then remembered that he almost forgot about the video camera he bought especially for this trip. He wanted to film James in order for him to someday remember his first family trip. He cursed himself for not remembering it earlier, when they took a stroll to the beach, because James was so excited, it would have made a nice video.

He quickly did the set up while keeping a close eye on their dinner.

He heard Louisa and James still busy in the bathroom and sneaked up, to test his new devise. Louisa was sitting in front of the bath tub, still dressed in that tight fit jeans and red top. James was splashing and laughing and Louisa pretended to be reprimanding him. "James Henry, it's not nice to soak your mother in dirty bath water, little man." With that James just splashed even harder and set off a long extended giggle. Louisa laughed at his silliness! They did not even see Martin standing behind them, filming this precious moment. After a couple of minutes, he realised that he needed to get back to the dinner, or they won't have any. He closed the camera and stored it away. He would use this as much as he could throughout the weekend, without Louisa noticing. He'll show it to her … another time.

When Louisa came down, dinner was ready for them, and they decided to go outside and eat on the Patio where they could take in the glorious view. James's high chair had a perfect spot that was secluded from any cold, but where he could also enjoy the outside.

After dinner, they both cleaned up together and then put James on the ground with some of his balls, books and building blocks. Louisa and Martin both sat next to him and played with him, until they saw that he was getting tired. It was a big day for him, and they were surprised at how long he actually did stay awake. Louisa decided it was bed time for the little tyke, and headed upstairs to read him a story.

Martin gave Louisa a couple of minutes, then headed up stairs and quietly took out his camera again.

Louisa sat on the chair in front of the window, with James curled up in her arms, their backs half turned to the door. She was reading him a story and used all kinds of different voices to entertain him. Martin positioned himself so that he would not disturb them, and while he filmed the two of them, he though how very lucky his little boy was to have Louisa as his mother. She would never let anyone hurt James, physically or emotionally. James would be loved, every day of his life and he knew that Louisa will do anything in her power to constantly show it to him. Most importantly, she will teach him how to laugh and how to be as spontaneous as she is. He will be liked by others. Yes, James has no idea what a lucky boy he is.

But, Martin also realised that Louisa was not only just James' mother! He doesn't know how it's even possible, but she became more radiant, more beautiful each and every day. Her mere presence was enough to send him over the edge. He was always able to control his desires when it came to sex, but Louisa was extremely hard to resist and he found it very hard to control himself. It was in those moments that he would normally blurt out something thoughtless and stupid or insensitive or move over to things he knew best, medicine, and that just ruined everything.

While looking at his wife and son through the camera screen, he realised he was falling in love all over! He don't want to push her too hard with his desires and urges, but God, she was so exhilarating!

He silently closed the screen of the camera, put it away and decided to go sit on the patio. He was lost in thought while lying on that long lawn chair when Louisa came out.

"Do you want to try out the Jacuzzi Martin? It's a lovely evening and … not cold at all, maybe we can enjoy some hot bubbles. What'd you think, hmm?"

"No! …I …I, it cannot be hygienic" He looked horrified.

"Please Martin, I think it might be something we could both enjoy, please?" with her arms around his waist she looked up into his eyes, pleading that for once he just did something different.

"Fine" He still did not look convinced.

They filled the Jacuzzi with nice warm water. Louisa ran upstairs and got some bubbles to pour in, it smelled like berries. She also grabbed 2 large towels.

When she came down, Martin was still just standing next to the Jacuzzi, looking as if it could bite at any minute. Louisa undressed herself until she was only standing in her underwear. Martin looked shocked out of his boots.

"Come on, drop that pants!

"Louisa, we cannot just get in here in our under garments! Are you crazy?"

"No, you said we are miles away from any other people, so no one could see us Martin, and I was not planning on keeping on my undergarments when I am in the water…now, are you joining me or not?" She got into the Jacuzzi and soon threw her lacy bra and nickers on the floor.

"Well?"

He can't recall how he managed, but within a second he got undressed, even dropped his boxers, and got into the tub. The water was …great! He had to admit. Louisa took his hands and pulled him closer to her and then turned around. She nestled close to him, her back resting against his chest.

"Louisa…"

"Shush. Just relax, it's perfect. Don't spoil it."

He tried to just let his tensed muscles relax. He put his arms around her middle. Trust Louisa, he thought. He felt weightless and soon felt… dare he say relaxed? She smelled heavenly! Or was it the bubbles? Both of them just enjoyed the company. It was fantastic. They did not feel the need to talk; she lightly ran her fingers across his thighs. Then she put her arms up and around his neck, which exposed and lifted her breast to a marvellous sight for him. He stroked them lightly and he could feel the shivers running through her body. He started touching her, all over, and she could feel his desires against her back.

She turned her body and straddled him. The stars, and moon and ocean were the only witnesses to their love.

Afterwards, Louisa sighed and sat back….she had a smile on her face, and looked flushed.

"Was that what you planned all along?" Martin asked, he looked … different. She thought she never saw him look so… out of himself.

"It was not entirely planned to the finest details, but a girl can hope?" She gave him a glorious smile, and he pulled her into his embrace again. Their kisses were soft, lingering, and full of love. She turned around and leaned against his stomach again. They sat like that for quite a while.

"Louisa, can we…maybe….get out of this? This is not…"

"So you didn't like….?" Louisa was sure they both enjoyed it, it certainly looked like Martin enjoyed it, or otherwise he's a darn fine actor.

"No, no, I did like…the…uhm…you know. I just can't bear to be in the water anymore. Not…ideal."

Louisa smiled, "Fine, we can get out, but it's still early, can we snog on the couch for a little while?"

After drying themselves and getting dressed, they moved to the living room and snuggled on one of the couches. Martin sat with his back against one of the arms and Louisa snuggled up against him, throwing her arm around his tummy. Then something extraordinary happened. Martin Christopher Ellingham started to talk…about everything!


	6. Chapter 7

_A/N: Nearly forgot! I own Nothing! This is all owned by the Brilliant Bufallo Pictures...I thought I might just play around with the characters while they are busy Creating Wonderful new seasons for us!_

 _I am a "new" writer and have Lots to learn, so I apologize for any errors that might be frustrating to other brilliant writers and readers equally! Advise will always be appreciated a lot! Happy readings...hope this chapter is..."OK"?_

Chapter 7

"I had a terrible childhood. If I think back, the first memory I have is off my father was him beating me. He was in his study; I barged in, 4 years old, and wanted to show him a butterfly I caught. He was furious, because I did not knock. He stood up, ripped of his belt, and beat me over and over until I was just lying there, wetting myself. That was the first of many beatings. I must have been a terrible child, because I remember being beaten almost daily. My mother mostly caused the beatings, as whatever I did wrong, were told to my father the moment he walked in the door after work. I was called to his office, and he would beat me with whatever he could lay his hands on, belt, racket, anything. Once my father was away at a conference, so mom had to deal with me on her own. That's when she started to lock me up in the closet under the stairs. She said I was a terrible naughty child, and that I did not deserve to see daylight. Sometimes, she left me there during the night. Those nights were … hard."

Martin paused and shifted his body. Louisa felt that she could not move a single inch, afraid that whatever she does, would bring Martin to reality and that he might not talk any more. She needed to hear this; she needed him to get it out.

Emotionless, he continued, as if telling a story about something he saw on the telly, there were no feelings involved.

"One day after mum went out again to some tea party, I heard my farther talking in his office I wanted to show him my catch for the day, a Celastrina Argiolus Britanna, commonly known as a Holly Blue. It's a butterfly. I ran to his office. A woman was sitting on the edge of his desk. My father was standing in front of her, very closely. She had a short skirt on, and it was pulled up quite high, I could see her underwear. When I barged in, I saw shock on both their faces. My farther reacted quickly. He took his belt of in an instant and started beating me all over my body. Eventually the woman that was with him, had to stop him. By that time, I had marks over by bottom, legs, arms, face. His anger did not stop, he grabbed me by my arm, dragged me upstairs, my feet barely touched the ground. He pushed me into my room with such force that I fell against the bed post with my eye. It was ripped open, and blood was pouring out of it. He did not care. He picked me up, and beat me again with his belt. My farther nearly killed me that day, or so I thought. Before he walked out he said" You are a nuisance." He locked my door. My whole body felt swollen, aching. My eye was bleeding excessively; I had to take one of my socks and held it against my eye, whilst lying on the floor, crying for a long time. Later that evening, my door was unlocked and my nanny came in with a bucket of water and some ointment. She cleaned me up, put a plaster on my eye, and brought me something to eat. I was told that I am not allowed to leave my room at all. I was in there, for 3 days. I only saw my nanny when she brought me something to eat. My body was blue and black with the evidence of my father's rage. My eye was swollen shut. I hoped I would die. Unfortunately, I didn't.

The beatings did not stop after that incident. It happened all the time. But that was the worst one. Just before my seventh birthday, I was shipped off to boarding school. I thought things would be better; at least I would be away from the beating and loneliness. I was wrong. I started Public School as the youngest boy ever to attend. The youngest and smallest and weakest. I was picked on and bullied every day. I was always referred to as "little Marty" or "cry-baby "or sissy-boy! Those names stuck for a very long time. I did not have friends, ever. I never visited friends over holidays. I heard some of the other boys mentioned that this one was going for a sleepover at that one's house. Or this one was planning a birthday party over the holidays. No one ever invited me. And I also never invited any one to my house. I did not like anyone at that school. The only light in the darkness was my holidays spend at Joan's farm. I would deliberately shut myself off from any thoughts of my parents or school when I went to Joan and Phil. There I could…breath. I felt at ease. I did not have to be scared of anything. There I was safe. It was heart-breaking to go back to boarding school after holidays. Then, when I was eleven, my farther told me that I was never to go to Joan's farm for visits again. I knew better than to ask any questions. I assumed it was because I was too much trouble for Joan and Phil. Joan told me that it had nothing to do with me, my father was angry at her, and he tried hurting her where he knew it would the most, by taking me away from her. She confessed this to me after my parents left when they came to visit me a while ago. That was also a very horrible couple of days. I am glad you did not get to meet my father. That would have been….embarrassing. My dad wanted to go down to the pub; I always obeyed whatever he asked. All the villagers were so impressed by him. His charm… his wit. I was amazed at how the villagers adored HIM! He was …vile, while I was the one taking careof them daily, making sure not all died of some disgusting filthy disease. I had their best interest at heart but yet they loved him, while I was called a tosser more than once daily. I realised how easily people can be fooled. They only saw what they wanted to see. And he was a magician in that game. He always told me how disappointed he was in me. I was nothing like him. He chased money, status and everything in a skirt that moved. I hated that. Money were of no interest to me, status was useless and I had too much respect for woman to do that to them. For my father being Head of Vascular meant a high salary and a high social rank. I felt that the same position would put me in charge of a great team that would enable me to safe as many lives as possible. In his eyes I was weak. He even sneered when he heard I was a mere GP in a small village and my house was clearly beneath his standards. I was once again an embarrassment to him.

My mother… she…told me that same weekend that I was unwelcome, unwanted, unloved. She told me I ruined her life by being born. She said it was my fault that my dad never looked at her the same way. He only saw a mother, not a woman. She hated me. I did not know what to do, what to say…so I …apologised to her. I still don't know why. But I felt it was somehow my fault. "

Martin got up, walked to the kitchen and brought back two glasses of water. He emptied his in one gulp. He got back behind Louisa, his arms circling her waist. Louisa knew she dare not say a single word. Actually she was unable to speak, due to shock and disbelieve. How can any of this actually happen to a person? How can someone's mother tell you that you were unwanted? How can a farther belittle his only son like that? And then there were the beatings when he was young! She was shocked to the core!

Martin shrugged his shoulders as if to shake something or someone off and started speaking in his mellow voice again.

"At University, things were a bit different. I grew up to be quite tall, broad shoulders, deep voice. Even though I did not fraternize with other students, I knew the other students and professors respected me. Everyone knew Martin Ellingham; I was the smartest student in every class. The other students needed me. They needed me to help them explain things that were not clear in the classes. They needed me to answer questions quickly so that they were not under pressure; they even needed to hide behind when they were hung over from too much partying. I studied all the time; I had no time for foolish bickering. I never went out for drinks or partying like the others. Even though they all needed me, they never gave me anything in return. Again, I had almost no friends, except for Chris Parsons. Somehow, he tolerated me, we talked on and off, we sometimes studied together, had lunch together, he struggled with some subjects, I helped. He used to say that he only got through medical school because of me. At the beginning of my final year, I met Edith"

Martin felt how Louisa's body stiffened by mentioning Edith's name. He did not want to cause her any anger or pain, but he felt she needed to know the full story about Edith… everything.

"She was in some of my classes. Edith was … smart. I considered her more or less an intellectual equal. But diagnostics in our final year was not her strong suit. One night, near the end of our first semester during exams, she was at my doorstep, she invited herself in. She told me that she struggled and said that I was going to help her study. She basically instructed me. She said we could come to an arrangement. I did not really understand what arrangement we could agree upon as I didn't need anything. I was just so overwhelmed that a person was in my apartment, let alone a woman, that I could only nod.

We studied together every night that week, and by the end of the week, when we received our test results, her results were close to my nearly perfect scores. Clearly my methods worked for her. I was pleased with the progress she showed. That night she came to my apartment. I was surprised as I thought she would not come since we were done studying for the week. That's how it worked with the other students…they never came back after I helped them. She had a waist coat on. After I closed the door, she pulled me close and started kissing me. Next, she opened her waistcoat; she was only wearing very skimpy under things. She was the first woman I ever took to my bed. I was inexperienced even though I knew everything of the human anatomy. She made it her mission to teach me. We were together often, she stayed over many nights. However, over weekends, she never came to my apartment. We kept on studying together, and I was rewarded for my efforts. Unlike the others that needed me and never gave anything in return, she gave me plenty. I was overwhelmed by her. I believed that it could only be love. Chris heard about me and Edith and came to warn me about her, he said that she was not suited for me. I was furious that he thought he had any right to tell me who I should see. I told him that he was just jealous. We did not speak for quite a while after that.

One long weekend I asked her to go with me to my Aunts farm in Cornwall. She agreed. She did not particularly liked it much, and Joan did not like her at all. Before we left, Joan told me what she thought of Edith. I dare not repeat her words. I felt hurt, and told Joan she was just jealous because I finally had another woman in my life besides her. We did not leave on good terms.

Edith and I were together every week, but during weekends she went to her own apartment. She said she needed space. I never asked what she did, she never told me either.

At the end of the year, I invited her to accompany me to my parents Christmas dinner. It was the social affair of the year. I was very proud to finally take a girl home. When we arrived, my farther immediately took interest in her. I looked on in horror as she hung on every word that came out of his mouth. She always wanted to be a social butterfly in London's higher circles, and I provided her with the opportunity that night. But meeting my father was even better for her. He was Chief of Vascular at that stage, and she knew if she played her cards right, she would meet many people that could be valuable to her future. She was also introduced to a couple of high flying surgeons. So at the Christmas dinner, she was spending more time with my farther and all the snobs of London, than with me. At one stage, I left the house. I went outside and sat in a dark corner. After a while, I saw two people came out, it was Edith and a guy I knew from Uni. She was hanging onto him like a sack of potatoes. She giggled and I could hear she was drunk. He took her to the side, and started kissing her. He lifted her skirt and was touching her all over. I was furious. I rushed over, and pushed him off. I lifted my fist to hit him, but stopped. He just grinned at me and said, "Relax Ellingham, no need to waste you skilled surgeon hands on this tramp. She does this every day. She owed me some action." He got up and left. I took Edith's hands and dragged her to the car. When we arrived at my apartment, she passed out. The next morning she acted as if nothing happened. I was confused, but did not want to upset her. She came back with me, to my apartment that was all that mattered.

When Christmas came, I bought a ring, and decided to ask her to marry me. I planned a romantic dinner at my apartment. I invited her over. She only arrived at nine that night; looking unsteady on her feet, she was a little drunk. She explained that she had a couple of drinks with friends. I let it be, and still continued with my plans. During dinner, I read her a poem I wrote, then I asked her to marry me. I popped out the ring and declared my undying love for her. I can still remember the look on her face. First, shock. Then I saw…amusement. She started laughing, a sort of hysterical laugh. She told me that night that I was only her toy…no, her words were puppet. She said she did not feel anything for me and I was only there to assist her in studying. She did not need me anymore as she was offered a post in Canada, and was leaving early in the New Year. Her last words before she left that night was" Ellingham, you were… useful this year. Let's do this again sometime, ok" .The first time I saw her again, was at the hospital, a while ago. Once she left, I called Joan and apologized to her. She told me that even though she knows I am heartbroken, she was very happy that woman was out of my life. We never discussed Edith ever again. My second call that evening was to Chris. Luckily he did not hold any grudges. We talked for a long time that evening; he told me things about Edith that was horrifying. I was clearly out of my depth, I never stood a chance. I really did not know her at all. I was an amateur when it came to relationships and friendships, very much unskilled. My first experience with love was disastrous."

Martin was quiet for a while….Louisa thought he was done with his story, she knew some minor details of the story, but she could never imagine all of this. It was overwhelming and very sad. She felt heartbroken for him. She also understood why Joan seemed …off when they spoke about Edith the time she took her for her check-up. Joan loved Martin, and what Edith did to him, was unthinkable. And the way Martin acted towards her must have been heart-breaking. She was just about to say something when Martin continued.

"But, there was also another woman in my life for a little while. HOPE. She was working with me in the operating theatre almost every day; she was the gasser – uhm - Anaesthetist. She was the best in her profession, that's why she worked on my team. We worked together for years. I only knew her surname, saw only her eyes underneath all the scrubs we had to wear in the operating theatre every day, but we never saw each other outside of work. Until that horrible morning my haemophobia kicked in. I passed out on the floor that morning, next to my prepped patient. She was the one that caught me when I fell to the ground. She made sure that I did not hit my head. I honestly don't know how she managed it, as she was a… petite woman. When I came to, I vomited all over her. I was so embarrassed! After the incident I was forced to take 10 days off, as my peers thought my passing out was due to stress and pressure. So they forced me to take leave. I went to an antique clocks store to take on a new project to pass time, as I was bored out of my mind! There I bumped into Hope. She looked so different without scrubs. She had wild long curls that were amazing and loose hanging over her shoulders, and she was dressed in a summer dress, she was very tiny in posture. She had to remind me that she was actually our gasser, and that we worked together daily. We started talking. I was still embarrassed at what she had to endure from me, and so I invited her for coffee. Somehow, we managed to talk for almost 2 hours at that coffee shop. We felt very comfortable in each other's company. I invited her to dinner later the week, to make up for my blunder in the operating room, I told her, but it was purely selfish, I wanted to get to know her! She was very pretty, and I felt quite at ease in her presence. We had a wonderful time at a very respectable restaurant. When I took her home, I just shook her hand, all professional. She was the one who leaned over and gave me a kiss. I was… bemused. I invited her out a couple more times while I was on forced leave. No one at work knew we saw each other out of work, and I wanted to keep it that way. I did not want her to be on the receiving end of the gossip at the hospital. "

"When I got back to work after the small break, I was ready to resume my position, I felt positive. I was ready to get my life back on track, and wanted to pursue Hope, in the hope for something solid and serious. "

"But, with the first operation I was scheduled to do again, things happened exactly the same as the first time. The moment I made the incisions, the blood, the smell, I started to become sweaty, needed to vomit and then passed out – again."

"I realised that this was not just stress related. The hospital insisted I went to therapy, and then the realisation came that it was haemophobia - I was shattered. That night I was sitting at home, drinking a whole bottle of scotch! You know I don't drink. I left Hope a very disturbing message on her phone around two in the morning. When she woke up and heard my message, she was worried sick about me. She did not even know where I lived, as we basically only met up at a restaurant a couple of times. She had quite a difficult time locating me, but she was determined and even after a huge row with the guard at my flat, she managed to get him to let her in! She found me passed out, in my own vomit, disgusting! She managed to somehow get me to the bathroom, under the shower, with my clothes still on, and that's when I came to. I was barely able to stand, but I was at least able to more or less take a shower, she made coffee and when I came out, I saw that she also cleaned up the vomit. I was heavily hung over with a huge headache. I felt like dying. She gave me coffee and some pills and then sat next to me on the couch, cuddling me, while I slept off the effects of my stupidity. When I woke up, I felt horrible! How could I face her again? I told her about the haemophobia and that it felt like I could no longer live! Surgery was my life. The ONLY thing I was ever good at. How could I continue living?"

That's when she told me her story! She was still in med school; she wanted to specialize in Paediatrics, as she wanted to work with kids all her life. She said she wanted a whole bunch of kids herself. At the end of her final year before she would start to do specialize training in the field of choice, She did not feel particular healthy, and went for a check-up, just to discover she have cervical cancer. She was devastated! She was 22 years old, and felt like her world just ended. She had to go in for immediate surgery, which also meant removing her uterus. She had some chemo as well and after a long road to recovery, she was finally declared cancer-free. BUT her world was shattered. How can she become a Paediatrician now? She could not bear to think that she'd work with kids all day with no prospects of having her own, she would not make it! She was depressed and also thought that she would change her profession. She did not want to be a doctor any more. There were too much suffering in the world; she could not bear to witness it daily. But then she pulled herself together and changed her studies. And so became an Anaesthetist. She thought that by doing that, she could relieve the pain of patients! She told me the story not to evoke sympathy, but to show me that my life was not over! I could still change professions, even though I would always be a great surgeon, I can become any kind of doctor I put my heart to. That night she changed my life. I realised that If not for her, I might have given up, even given up on living all together. I also realised that I was deeply in love with her. So I started seeing her regularly, when we went out, I took her to places I knew no one else would know us. I wanted to protect her."

We were in some form of a relationship, nothing physical…I was… too uncomfortable for …sex. When I thought of sex, I could only imagine Edith's ways, and that's not what I wanted with Hope.

Just before Christmas that year, I started my retraining as a GP. She motivated and encouraged me daily. When Christmas came, she invited me to her parents' house for Christmas, but I said that I could not go. I was still fragile about my failing career as a Head of Vascular; I could not introduce myself to new people, until my life was properly sorted out, and until I could actually say I was a trained and specialised GP! What else would I tell them, how I was such a failure? I spent Christmas alone. I was miserable, I missed her every second. I realised I had feelings for her, and could not wait for her to come back. She was due to come back late on Boxing Day, her parents stayed in Bath. She called me just before she left. I already called a couple of times since 17:30. But her phone went to voicemail directly. At 20:00 I was really out of my mind. I wished I knew her parents, her sisters, someone I could call. At 20:39 I received a call from St Thomas hospital! Hope was in an accident and had fatal injuries. A truck lost control and ran head on into her car at a blind spot. She had no chance of getting out of the way. I arrived at the hospital in record time. When I got to her side, all I saw was blood, and her golden brown curly hair. I had to find a bin as I needed to vomit. I was disgusted with myself! When I wiped my mouth and returned to her side, she opened her eyes, and said softly, struggling very hard to speak: "I could not wait to get back to you Martin. I missed you every day. I love you." She closed her eyes and let out her final breath. She died, while I stood there holding her hand, and I was not able to do a single thing to help her! I was Useless. "

Louisa felt tears dripping on her shoulder. Martin was crying! However, his voice was completely neutral.

Louisa could no longer keep quiet. She cried out, "O Martin that must have been terrible! This must have been devastating to you! I don't even know how you manage through something so dreadful!" She could not control the emotions anymore, it just overflowed and tears were streaming down her face!

"You are the first person I have told this, not even Joan knew exactly what was going on in my parents' house, what happened at boarding school…Edith… and I never told anyone about Hope."

"I know for me to move …uhm…forward in life, our marriage, I have to get rid of what was bothering me from my past. I am willing to go to therapy and try to sort out my…problems. All I am asking is that you try to understand me. I am incapable of showing emotions, due to the fact that I had to repress them all those years. I learned early not to show you are hurt, or feel. I had years of practice, daily. After Edith dismissed me so casually, I thought I could never trust a woman again, until Hope. She gave me life at a time my world was shuttered! I owe everything to her! I was devastated by her death. Life cheated me again. Once more I was alone, Me against the world, and that never went well. After her Funeral I withdrew completely, build up my walls higher than before. I put my heart and soul into retraining to be a GP, and a year and a half after Hope's funeral, I heard about the post in Portwenn. "

"I thought I would come up to live the rest of my miserable lonely life in Portwenn, be close to Joan, as she was the only person ever able to love me. Until I laid eyes on the most beautiful Pirate in the world! I knew I was lost. With all the power in me, I fought against it! I did not want to be involved ever again, and after meeting you, I never wanted to hurt you.

Louisa, you have no idea how you changed my life; you gave my existence meaning again for I was merely existing from day to day. You gave me a reason again to get up in the mornings!

And then you even gave me the biggest gift imaginable, you gave me a son! I NEED you...not just want you. I really need you. You are my world. I am...lost without you. I cannot function without you. While you were away in Spain, I felt the old miserable feelings return...emptiness...my life was empty and ...lonely. I can never go back to that. I don't ever _want_ to. I knew when you came back... I have to ...change. If I'd to be a husband and a farther, I need to do better.

Louisa did not say anything, and Martin was not sure what to expect from her. He told her things he would never ever in his life tell anyone, confessed things he never wanted to. The Big brick wall that took years to build was shattered into small pieces tonight and he was defenceless. But he felt relieved that he talked about it, he felt lighter, free.

"Louisa…?" His voice trembled.

Louisa sat up straight and turned her whole body towards Martin, he was horrified to see that her face was streaked with tears. How he managed not to notice her crying, was beyond him, proving once again how emotionless he can be. He saw pain and shock in her eyes, and he felt horrible for causing it! God, why did he do this? This is why you should never talk about things, it just hurt people!

"I am so sorry Louisa! I am sorry if this was too much for you…! I should never have…"

Louisa saw how Martin's face closed up, she felt how he shut down, his body language showed that he was trying to get control back, and she was afraid of losing him, the Martin that was opening up for the first time in his life.

"You told me the most horrific heart breaking story. Not of some distant stranger, but of your Own life, the torture you went through as a young boy, a truly horrible childhood, the struggles you had to bear throughout your life, with your career, Edith and then Hope and you feel SORRY that I was crying! O Martin! YOU are the most amazing strongest person I have ever met. You never see your own pain, but immediately see pain in others. I don't know if any other person would have survived what you did! I am sure if any other person went through the same things, they would have cracked up long ago, or became psychotic. You are… unique and so strong!

You have no need to ever apologise for what you told me! I am honoured that you confined in me, that I am the only person to have heard your dark deep secrets, even though this was the most shocking and hurtful thing I have ever heard. But don't ever tell me again that you are sorry. You have nothing to apologize for.

You said the villagers loved your father and hated you because they only see what they want to see…but I think it's the other way around. People only see what you allow them to see Martin. You're farther showed charm and confidence. He was a smooth talker. They did not know him, but were taken by what he let them believe. And that's the same with you. You care so much about your patients and yet you try very hard not show it. You put up this front about not caring, shouting at them, calling them idiots, but your haemophobia started because you cared too much! How many times would you say you vomited already since you started in Portwenn? Maybe 100 times? It simply proofs how much you care as you put aside your own suffering; put your own body through torture, just to be able to help someone else! YOU also let people only see what you want them to see. The gruff angry person! You even _only_ show me what you want me to see. I only get glimpses every now and again of how great you really are. Maybe you can learn to show the real you, Martin? Maybe then life in the village will become bearable? "

"Uhm…right…but are you sure you are fine? I don't ever want to cause you pain again. "

"I am fine, really." She touched his soft lips with her finger tips "This was quite a soul bearing evening, not at all what you are used to. Are you Ok, Martin, how do you feel?" She leaned in to kiss him softly on his lips.

"hm…" How did he feel? He doesn't even know, so how can he explain it to her? "I am fine, thanks… for listening."

Louisa sat in front of him, the moonlight dawned on her perfect face, her perfect body, and she was irresistibly beautiful.

"It was my pleasure Martin"! She gave him one of those amazing smiles and leaned in for another glorious kiss! "Please may I ask a favour though? Please could you never ever again, keep anything from me? Whenever you need to talk about anything, even if its 02:00 in the morning, please, don't hesitate! I never ever want you to suffer in silence again. I am here; I will be until the end of time, for you to lean on me. Don't keep anything bottled up anymore, yeah? "

"I will try." In his opinion that was the only truthful answer he could give. Talking the way he did tonight, would probably never repeat itself. It was a once-off according to Martin. He needed to get it out, but he made sure he spoke about everything, so that he would never have to again. Louisa was the most important person in his life; he had to make sure she understood that.

"Ok, I will hold you to that. Now, I think we are ready for bed. I feel a bit emotionally tapped out; I bet you feel the same? "

"Yes, let's go to bed…" It was wonderful to be able to say that to Louisa.


	7. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As morning broke, Martin woke up feeling somewhat different. He cannot exactly place his feelings, but knew it was just different. He looked over to Louisa's side and saw that she was still fast asleep.

He imagined she was exhausted from school, the trip, his revelations last night. She understood and he knew he did the right thing telling her. It was agonising to tell her all his deep kept secrets, he believe he never spoke that much in his whole life. But today he must say he is feeling somehow better. The sun was shining brighter, he loves her deeper, he feels …happier? Is that it…happiness?

It was still early, just after 07:30, but he knew he was awake. He would not be able to go back to sleep. He decided to get up, afraid his stirring will cause Louisa to wake up, and he wanted her to have a nice lie in, she was on break after all. She deserved a bit of extra rest. He went to the bathroom, showered and got dressed. He decided to leave his jacket again. Louisa seemed pleased about it yesterday. When he left the room, he softly closed the door.

He went to James' room and saw that James, like himself, was also awake already. He picked up his son, cleaned him up, dressed him in some clean clothes and they went downstairs, where he gave James some finger treats to nibble on and made himself his usual coffee. Unfortunately he did not bring the espresso machine.

He quickly went upstairs and tip toed into the bedroom to go get his video camera. He took a piece of paper and wrote Louisa a note. Then he took James, put him into his stroller and they headed for the beach for an early morning walk. James was screaming and giggling at everything around him. This time Martin was ready with his camera, and caught every little "conversation" James had with the ocean and the birds on camera. His son was enjoying himself tremendously, and it filled his heart with such emotions, that he had to swallow a couple of times to regain control over his feelings. "You're getting…soft Elligham," he reprimanded himself.

When they reached a nice spot on the beach, Martin decided to take James out of his stroller and let him crawl around on the sand a bit, to see what James would do. The moment Martin put him down, he headed towards the sea. Martin caught up to him just before he reached the icy cold water, amazed at how fast he could crawl when he was aiming for something. "You sure are a fast little crawler, aren't you? Good job James! That was really well done; you nearly caught me off guard, a lesson well learned. Never underestimate a person with determination, even if he's just older than a year!" Martin took James and put him back into his stroller and they headed back to the cottage, to go see if Louisa's awake and make some breakfast. Martin was starving!

Louisa was not completely asleep when she heard Martin and James walk off. She went over to the window and watched them stroll off to the beach. She got back into bed again and just laid there. Her mind was working overtime in remembering everything Martin told her the previous night. She was so emotionally tapped out, that she fell asleep instantly. When Martin got up this morning she made him believe she was still sleeping as she felt she needed time to rethink all of it. she also felt he and James needed some time alone. She was still amazed at everything she heard. Being a teacher, she had her fair share of child abuse cases, but she must be honest, she never knew that there was that kind of abuse still out there. And the worst is that it happened to someone she so dearly loved. It was devastatingly painful…for her. So how must that have felt for a little fragile boy, who never felt love from both his horrible parents? How did he survive his own life? She can only imagine the way James would react to something like that; it felt like someone ripped out her heart. She cried loudly, sobbing all over her pillow. She wished Joan was still alive. She wished Martin told Joan all this, as she knew that Joan would have understood and would have been able to make her understand how life could be so cruel. Joan was easy to talk to, she knew what to say, how to make you feel better. At least Martin had Joan occasionally! Maybe Joan never knew just how important she was to Martin?

Then she also remembered Edith…and Hope. Two opposite types of woman in his life. Both situations were difficult to deal with, for any "normal" person, but for a fragile insecure person like Martin…? How? How did he get through all of this? He is simply the strongest person she has ever known! How could anyone ever think he was weak? His father was a moron!

Louisa had flashbacks to her own childhood, and she must admit that even though her mother left her while she was young; she was still loved by lots of people. One of the privileges of living in such a small village. She never felt alone or neglected. When her dad was not around due to times spend at the race tracks or in bars gambling, the whole village took care of her. Bert and Joan were the 2 most important figures in her life. They were always around when her parents were missing in action. Louisa knew that if Martin would have told Joan the truth when he was still visiting her, she would have fought her hands off for Martin! Joan would not have allowed it! Why did Martin never tell her! Louisa felt exhausted from all the crying, so after a little while she drifted off to sleep again.

When the 2 Ellingham men arrived, Louisa was still sleeping, so he decided to start breakfast so long. He gave James a couple of toys to play with on the ground, he boiled a couple of eggs, put in some toast, opened a low fat yoghurt and even added a couple of strawberries to the plate. It looked very delicious! He put James in his playpen, then took the tray with breakfast and headed upstairs.

He opened the bedroom room door, and the clock said 09:30. He put down the tray on the other side of the bed, and slowly shook Louisa to wake her up.

" Martin, what's wrong, what's the time, where's James"

"Nothing, 09:30 and downstairs in his play-pen, in that order. I made you breakfast. Here you go."

"Ah, thank you Martin, this is very nice. I am being spoilt! I can't believe you let me sleep this late. "

"There was no reason for you to get up early, James is fine, and you are clearly a bit exhausted, so you deserve a lie in. There are no schedules, and no obligations. I wanted the 3 of us to have a weekend for us, with nothing in the world bothering us."

"Thank you, this looks marvellous, I am actually starving!"

Martin went downstairs, and gave James some breakfast, before settling him in his playpen again. Finally he got a chance to have his own. He collected Louisa's tray and quickly cleaned the kitchen.

He then took James outside and put him on the grass in the back yard, while he was settling with some reading material he brought along. He kept a close eye on James as he crawled through the backyard. James was exploring, crawling all over the place, thoroughly enjoying the outdoors. Occasionally he would pull himself up against something and was able to stand up straight for a little while before tumbling to the ground again. But he never let it get him down; he just tried over and over again. Martin thought he showed great will power and courage and felt really proud of him! Martin remembered his second surprise for Louisa, and while watching James, realised how necessary his next project was.

Louisa joined them in the back yard about an hour later. He actually smelled her before he saw her, her wonderful fragrance surrounded him. She was dressed in a gorgeous blue summer dress, and looked exceptionally beautiful. He could clearly see that she was relaxed and happy, although he could still see the traces of the effects of last night's crying. But she looked radiant. For once in his life he knew he did the right thing, this actually made her happy.

"Here are my 2 handsome guys! Now this is a sight for sore eyes, isn't it? Just look how much James is enjoying the outdoors. I am glad to see that you left the jacket, and tie again. Are you feeling ok this morning?"

"Hm, yes, thank you…" He looked at her for a second and then looked to where his son was playing. "Yes, he sure is."

She came over and gave Martin a kiss that lasted much longer that a quick peck. Martin is sure that if it wasn't for James being around, that kiss would have led to something really interesting.

They spend most of the morning outside, in the garden, playing with James, relaxing, just enjoying every moment. Around noon, James was starting to get a bit fussy, so they headed inside and made a light lunch, fed James and then put him down for his nap.

They returned to the back patio. Martin sat down on one of those long lawn chairs and patted with his hand to Louisa. She sat down in front of him, leaned against him with her back against his chest. He put his arms around her waist. Everything was so quiet and relaxed; Louisa closed her eyes and enjoyed this wonderful moment. why have they never before taken the time to do this?

When Martin spoke, his voice was soft, nearly whispering:

 _ **If thou must love me, let it be for nought**_

 _ **Except for love's sake only**_

 _ **Do not say I love her for her smile, her look,**_

 _ **Her way of speaking gently**_

 _ **For a trick or thought**_

 _ **That falls in well with mine**_

 _ **And certes brought a sense of pleasant ease on such a day**_

 _ **For these things in themselves, beloved,**_

 _ **May be changed or change for thee and love , so wrought**_

 _ **May be unwrought s,.**_

 _ **Neither love me for thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,**_

 _ **A creature might forget to weep,**_

 _ **Who bore thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby,**_

 _ **But love me for love's sake,**_

 _ **That evermore thou mayst love on,**_

 _ **Through love's eternity**_

" O, Martin! Elisabeth Barrett Browning! My absolute favourite writer and poem."

"It's mine too, thought you would…appreciate it"

"Thanks…I really did. I don't think anyone ever recited it in such a beautiful voice and tone…That was Brilliant! "

They both just relaxed on the chair,unaware of anything else but each other and before long they both drifted into a slumber.

It was just after 14:00 when Louisa woke up slowly. Martin was still a sleep and she gently tiptoed off, not to wake him. She found James awake, and thought it might be a good idea if she and James took a stroll to the beach! She left a note for Martin against the fridge door.

Once the two of them reached the beach, they turned and walked towards the bend Martin showed her the previous day. According to him, it was more or less 2 miles…she did not want to walk more than that; she wanted to keep the cottage in sight. While she and James walked along the beach, she talked to him, sang to him. He was listening and even babbling along. She enjoyed it a lot and James did as well. When she came close to the bend, she took James out of his Stroller, rolled up his pants a bit and then played with him in the shallow water! He screamed and squirmed with excitement and she laughed! They had so much fun playing in the water, that they did not notice the person approaching! It was only when Louisa turn to run away from the water, with James screaming, that she saw the man standing close to them.

A tall, darkly tanned and _very_ handsome man, walked up to Louisa and James, he waved his hand to greet her. His face was really just …beautiful – if you can call a man beautiful. Dark, almost black hair, the most amazing green eyes, and a smile that could light up the night sky!

"Hi, my name is Ben Van der Walt. I am really sorry if I scared you two. I could not help to stare at you, it looked like you two were having a lot of fun, I could hear you both laughing before I even came around the bend. I was surprise to see people here, as I thought I would be the only person for kilometres. You two look….happy! You are surely a vision for sore eyes."

Louisa for once struggled to get words out! He had a strange accent, not American. She could not place it!

"HI, I…I'm Louisa and this here is James. We…Well you also took the winds out of my wings. We also thought there would be no one for miles. "She felt a little blush creeping up her face. O my Lord, Louisa. Get a grip, what's up with you this weekend?

"I see the little dude got a bit more splashed than you thought. He's soaked! Do you have a towel in his pram I can fetch you?"

"O Gosh, no! I did not plan to get him this wet; I thought we would only take a walk. Guess we should head back quickly, or he might catch a cold."

"I have a towel that you can use. Maybe you should dry him as much as possible. Before you head back?"

"Thank you, that's awfully nice of you" and with that she took his towel and starts rubbing James dry - under huge protests off course.

James was more or less dry and in a much better state.

"So Louisa, what are you doing here? On Holiday?"

"Sort off. I am a teacher out in Portwenn. James, Martin and I came to have a nice weekend away since it's our Mid-term break at school!" Why did she just tell this stranger where she came from! For all she knew, he's a crazy person, or a stalker, he's not even British, she can tell! But his smile and eyes were inviting and friendly and it felt easy to talk to him.

"Well that's nice. I did not know it would be some sort of school holiday now. I am actually from South Africa. And, I am also a teacher! How weird is that! But I needed a break from everything and though that this part of England seemed quite…relaxing enough to come and sort myself out!"

Louisa saw sadness in his eyes, and she felt immediately sorry for whatever caused him so much pain.

"Yes, Cornwall is quiet a special, secluded and beautiful part of our country. You chose well. So what kind of teacher are you?"

"I am a Math teacher - grade seven. Well, that is at least what I was before I decided to pack up and leave SA to have a year off here in England. You?"

"I am actually the Head Mistress of the School, but Math and Science were always my passion."

"What? I am actually talking to the Head Mistress of the Portwhat School, now that's something else! "His eyes were twinkling with a little mischief in them.

Louisa again felt a blush keeping up to her cheeks, as she laughed!

"It's PortWENN! It's about an hour and a half's drive from here. The most beautiful village in all of England. My husband is the local GP there. You must come to visit our village; you will miss out dearly if you don't!"

"Oh, so the beautiful Louisa does have a husband. That's a shame!" She knew he was just joking, but still felt a little uneasy, he immediately saw her eyes dropping. "I am sorry, I am always joking around. Please don't take me seriously! My wife always said I was too outspoken and would get into serious trouble about it… I'm sorry!"

"So you also have a wife"

"Had…" Complete sadness filled his face now. "My Wife and son …died six months ago!" he shrugged his shoulders and when he looked up; she could not see any emotion.

"I am so sorry, I did not mean to pound around in your business. Please accept my apology"

"That's all right. That's why I came to England. I needed to get away, far away. To sort out my head, my heart and my life. I took a year's leave from school, and decided to travel through England. When I landed I stayed in London for about a week, but decided that London wasn't for me, I didn't like it at all. I searched the internet and found this little cottage and booked it for 2 months, this is my second week. And that's how I landed here today, talking to one of England's gems." He smiled at her, but it did not completely reach his amazing eyes.

Louisa felt really sad for this guy. She wished she knew his whole story, but decided that this might be a good time to head back home, before Martin sends a search party for her!

"Well, we need to get back, thanks for the towel. It was nice to meet you. You should look up Portwenn as well. It's really a nice village. We have lots of tourists every year, people come back time after time. If you feel you miss school too much, you could always come to my school. It would be nice to compare teaching skills!"

"Thank you Louisa and I will make a point of visiting Portwenn, if it's only to see your pretty face again. Take care little James. Then he said: " _Totsiens, pragtige Louisa"_ and with that he waved and headed back towards the bend. Louisa also started a brisk walk back to the cottage. She wondered what he said to her, which clearly was a language that she never heard before. She saw that it was nearly 16:00. Hopefully Martin is not worried about them, even though she had left a note.

 _A/N: Ben spoke Afrikaans - and he said: Good Bye, Beautiful Louisa._


	8. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When Louisa and James cam returned to the cottage, they found Martin in the back yard. He was busy on the outside grill! Now that's something she's not used to. Martin outside doing a Barbeque! This surely is a weekend full of surprises.

"Hi, Martin! What ever are you doing?"

Louisa leaned over and gave Martin a kiss.

"I am making Barbeque Chicken and jacket potatoes for dinner, with a green salad. I only just started it, so it will probably only be ready at about 18:00. Did you and James enjoy your walk on the beach?"

"O, it was lovely. We walked along the beach and played a little in the water, and lost track of time, I am sorry if we are a bit late. We are also a bit peckish, is there something to nibble on, that won't spoil our appetite for your lovely dinner?"

"Yes, yoghurt, or an apple, or crackers."

"Thanks Martin, you thought of everything!" She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and headed to the kitchen with James. "Your daddy sure is full of surprises this weekend. "She wondered why she did not mention her meeting with Ben to Martin. Well she was almost certain she would not see him again, so it didn't really matter. He was interesting though.

Louisa gave James some Yoghurt, and she herself took a couple of crackers. That should hold off the hunger pains till 18:00. They went outside and sat on the grass. Louisa brought a red plastic ball for James to play with. She pushed the ball to him, and then he would try to do the same. He enjoyed this game very much. It seemed like he would develop good ball sense, he did not struggle too much in grasping the ball. He is a Clever boy! Louisa looked over at Martin.

Without his jacket, sleeves rolled up and no tie he looked very handsome. He had an apron around his waist and was standing next to the barbeque, tools in hand, looking all muscular standing there next to the grill. Louisa was so lost in thought, she did not realize she was staring at him, and did not even notice he was talking to her.

"Louisa,! "

"OH, Sorry Martin, I was just... I could really get use to this you know. You in these clothes, all relaxed, doing a barbeque with us just sitting on the lawn, like a proper family. This is very nice"

"Yes, but I was saying that the chicken and potatoes are nearly done. The green salad is in the Fridge. If you don't mind, could you please set the table for us? We can eat out here again if you wish? But, can I just quickly take a shower, all this smoke …I feel like a …urgh."

"Yes, off course, thanks for doing the barbeque for us, it looks lovely. James and I will sort out the table.

She sat the table quickly, went to the garden and picked some flowers and rearranged them in a vase, and placed in in the centre of the table and was just finished in time, as Martin came outside! He smelled wonderful. He had a bottle of wine and ...TWO glasses in his hand?

"Wow, this is a treat! Are you drinking a glass of wine with me tonight Martin?"

"Hm, yes…if that's alright with you."

"You surely don't need my permission to have a glass; you know that, but what about you getting all sleepy? I was actually looking forward to an evening _with_ you, and not you passing out after the first couple of sips"

"This wine" he swallowed hard. "Through some..uhm... experience, I have come to learn that this specific type of wine, don't make me… sleepy. However, it does have some … other effects. "

"Well, that's great news, now let's eat. Its already past six and I don't want to mess with your dinner time.

The chicken was heavenly and the potatoes just perfect. The salad was fresh and light. The wine perfectly complimented the food, everything was just perfect. Even James was enjoying it a lot as the loud smacking sounds of appreciation was clearly heard!

"Martin, I don't know how many times you want to hear it this weekend, but you outdid yourself once again. You are spoiling me and James a lot, with this great food, wonderful location and great company! It's heavenly"

"Good!"

"Well since you made dinner, it's only fair that I do the cleaning tonight. You sit and relax with James. After I am done, I will take James for his bath. He had a very long exciting day, I am almost certain he will have an early night tonight."

"Can I… take him for his bath tonight?"

"Sure, that would be great! We had a great afternoon together; it's time for "daddy-time, right James?"

Martin and James headed upstairs for his bath and Louisa cleaned the kitchen. She was done in a jiffy as Martin sort of cleans as he goes, so it was actually just the plates and cutlery that needed cleaning. She walked upstairs and watched Martin and James for a while, and then headed down stairs. All of the sudden she heard light thunder and was quite surprised to hear it raining outside. Well that's weather around here, she thought, one minute all sunny, the next raining cats and dogs. She felt that it was actually quite cold, as she closed all the windows in the cottage. Martin and James came down, and she could see that even though it was just after seven, James was tired. She sat James on her lap, took out a book, and started to read a story to him. She did a "soft" story, which knocked him out quite easily, far off in dreamland in no time. She told Martin that she was just going to tuck him in and also dress in something more comfortable as she was still dressed in her summer dress.

She tucked in James, and then went to the bathroom, took a quick shower, brushed her teeth, and then only dressed herself in a very skimpy satin nighty, that covered just enough to keep Martin guessing what was hidden underneath- which by the way was nothing. She left her hair hanging loose, put on only a little lip gloss, and some light body fragrance. She looked herself over in the tall mirror, and hoped that Martin would approve. It's their last evening here; she wants to make the most of it!

When Louisa got down stairs she herself was surprised. The living room was transformed into a romantic haven. The couches was moved further back, and in front of the now shimmering fireplace, were a neatly made "bed" , made up of cushions and blankets. There were a few well-placed candles here and there, just enough to see where you're going without breaking the mood. Martin was standing close to the fire place with 2 glasses of wine in his hands. He did not have a jacket on and his shirt was tie-less. His sleeves were rolled up, most of the buttons of his shirt was loose. God, he was handsome! There was some music playing softy in the background somewhere.

Martin heard Louisa taking a shower upstairs while he was frantically working on the Living room. He hoped that she was not be too tired, heading to bed early. This was their last night here, and he wanted to spend it in her arms all night. After all his revelations last night, they were both too emotionally drained to fully enjoy their surroundings, so he wanted to make sure that tonight was special. However, he was very nervous as this was not something he usually did, it felt very alien to him.

When he heard that she was actually coming down stairs, he was relieved. But that feeling soon changed to extreme excitement when he saw that she was only wearing a very seductive night dress! O , it was going to be an interesting evening! They both were actually _**in tune**_ for a change. It was clear that she also wanted tonight to be special. He felt his whole body tingling with excitement, but tried his best to keep his cool. It was just so god damn hard with her looking like THAT. And with the wine doing its part…

"Louisa…"his voice was unreliable; he had to clear his throat before he could speak again. "You look…very… beautiful. Would you care for a glass of wine?"

"Thanks Martin, for the compliment, and for the wine. And well, all of this. This is extremely romantic ...I never expected this from you...and you yourself look like I could just eat you up!" She saw that he took several sips of his wine, real quickly, as if he needed to get his nerves under control. She liked that she still had that effect on him, still made him all uncomfortable and nervous. It made her feel desired!

She also took a couple of sips. They stood there, lost in each others gaze, their eyes clearly showing what they're thinking, whishing, not saying a word. He finished his wine, and so did she. He went to the kitchen and got them each a tall glass of water…he mumbled something about keeping them hydrated.

He walked towards Louisa and asked: "Care for a dance?"

He did not wait for her to answer, just took her firmly in his arms and started to move very slowly to the beat of the music. She put her one hand on his chest while he just held her close. They moved like that for a couple of songs. She just enjoyed every movement, being so close to him, they moved very slowly. She felt that the whole world outside vanished, and it was just her and the man she loved. How could she have ever imagined living without him? She loved him so much.

Martin on the other hand, was having a very difficult time controlling himself. Since the moment she appeared in the living room, he only wanted to rip off her tiny night dress and take all of her for himself. Unfortunately that was the effect that specific wine had on him. It gave him lots of confidence and no control.

Martin moved away ever so slightly and tilted Louisa's head backwards and started kissing her, first very slowly, softly. But after tasting her sweet lips, he became a bit fiercer and his hands also started to play along. He first caressed her back, running his fingers through her hair, then moved his hands down to caress her bottom. His other hand also started to move and started to touch her breast through the night dress. He realised that he could not feel any underwear!

"OH Louisa, you drive me insane! You make me feel things that I never even know a person could feel. "

"I wanted to hear you say that for a long time. You gotta let go..."

Martin took Louisa's hands and lifted it above her head, his eyes asking permission to get rid of the simple piece of clothing. She nodded and he pulled it over her head quickly. He looked at her naked body with admiration and the desire was clear in his eyes. Louisa in return slowly started to unbutton his shirt and tossed it to the side. Then she loosened his belt and zipper and pulled of his pants and boxers. He sat down on his knees and kissed her belly, then dragged her down with him onto his man made bed! He laid her down slowly, then he started kissing her all over, her neck, her breasts, and her navel. His hands started exploring and that drove Louisa nearly insane. Louisa knew Martin was skilled with his hands, he was the best surgeon in all of England so he had to be...but... What he did with his hands, all over her body, was simply astounding! Then all of him was showing her what a great Lover he was with his hands, his mouth, and his tongue. He build her up to extreme heights, brought her down, build her up...until she couldn't bear it anymore! Nobody ever did that to her. She felt that her body was shaking uncontrollable with pure ecstasy! It was the most amazing experience ever! It gave her tons of energy, as if a drug was released into her blood stream, she felt hungry for more! She got up, pushed Martin to his back softly. She kissed him everywhere, all over, taking small bites as she goes, she could feel him getting worked up ...groaning with every movement she made. She felt that he might be close to exploding and wanted to tease and arouse him more and more, but he could not take it anymore. With a swift movement, he took control and with some fierce, intense movements, he used Louisa's perfect warm body to reach his peak! They both turned to the pillows...completely out of breath.

After lying there for almost 10 minutes without saying anything he wondered if he would be able to go again, as he still wanted to continue, he wanted to make love to Louisa all night long! But luckily for him, the mere presence and touch of his lovely wife helped him. She was making small circles on his chest and stomach with her fingers, only barely touching him. Then she started to follow with soft kisses. She moved and sat across his torso. She leaned over, to kiss his lips, and her breasts were touching his chest, her hair surrounding his face. When she spoke, her voice sounded...heavenly.

"You were amazing you know. I can honestly say I have never had an experience like that before."

In a husky voice he said: "I dreamt about this you know"...he cleared his throat that were feeling quite tight at the moment. "You on top. Uhm…you had a white night dress on, and kissed me...on my mouth, my nose...everywhere. "

"Really, you had that kind of dream about me?" Louisa smiled, she would never have guessed.

"Uhm, yes. This is...better...than any dream."

When the clock in the living room hit 01:34, they were both surprised by the time. They caressed, kissed, aroused, played, touched and explored each other's bodies over and over again. It was as if they tried to satisfy the hunger that filled them both these last couple of years, in one evening! It was exhilarating!

When they finally broke away from each other, they were exhausted beyond words. Louisa curled up against Martin and said softly: "That was …Gosh, what was that?! I don't even have words that could explain how I am feeling!"

"I have one or two words?"

"Yeah?"

"Exciting…intoxicating…phenomenal…magnificent…"

"Well that more or less sums it up…I could add my own words…but…yeah, that's about right"

"Did I hurt you in any way Louisa, are you all right?"

"You did many things to me tonight, but you did not hurt me at all, you were wonderful. Martin, I just need you to know what an effect you have on me. When you kiss me, I literally melt. Your lips are sensational! When you touch me, I crumble, I am completely lost. You have extraordinary hands…skill full, soft and gentle. And the best part of it all is you don't take it lightly…making love. It's not just about body functions and desire, is it? It almost seems sacred to you. Is that right? Thank you for making me feel all these things."

Louisa put her arm around his waist as she cuddled into him and he could hear that she was drifting off. He still felt the rush of everything that happened the past couple of hours; his body was still tingling all over. He looked at her beautiful face. She looked so …innocent and peaceful. But when his mind raced back to everything she did, she was everything But innocent. She did things tonight that he never thought any woman would ever do to him. And in return he also did things he never thought he would do. Looking at her beautiful face, it's almost too hard to imagine this beautiful woman, Head teacher of Portwenn, who looked like butter could not melt in her mouth, was such a …vixen. He always knew he loved her, but after tonight, this weekend - he knew that there was nothing that could ever change that feeling. He was definitely one lucky bugger.


	9. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Martin woke up, with a feeling of utter bliss. He felt Louisa still lying beside him and memories of last night flooded his thoughts. How would he be able to function again normally after what he and Louisa experienced last night? Will she ever look at him the same way, could he ever look at her the same way? Well, he didn't really want to. He loved what happened last night and the fact that they both stayed there on the handmade bed till this morning. But nature was calling, and very reluctantly, he loosened himself from his lovely wife. He tiptoed upstairs, took a long shower, and got dressed. When he looked at the clock it said 07:53. He went to check on James, who, amazingly was also still asleep. Sometimes he is his mother's child, he thought, occasionally enjoying a nice lay in.

Being their final morning in this beautiful little cottage, he wants to enjoy their last couple of hours just being together. He planned to make breakfast as he went downstairs, but when he looked at where Louisa laid, he was forced to stop and stare! Louisa was stretched out on the "bed", the duvet wrapped around her waist only, lying on her back, with her arms stretched above her head. Her hair was spread across the pillow. But what caught his eyes was her beautiful breast lying in all bareness, inviting him to touch and caress. Flashbacks of the night before filled his head. He could only stare for moments, thanking the heavens above that that masterpiece of a women was his, to have and to hold until eternity. All he had to do was love her, and ensure that she knew that she is his world and that he would do anything for her. He could manage that, right?

He forced himself to stop staring as his groin was acting up again. He forcefully had to pull himself away. He started breakfast but realised quickly that making breakfast very silently was impossible. Apparently every single thing he touched made the loudest noise he could imagine.

"Martin…?"

"I am sorry, I really tried to be as quiet as possible, a nearly impossible task it seems. I wanted to surprise you with a lovely breakfast and…." Martin walked to the living room, whilst talking but could not get out another word. He was just staring at her beauty and was lost for words. His mouth was literally hanging open and he seemed startled.

"What's wrong Martin?" She was still lying, uncovered at the top, she had no idea at the view that Martin have of her.

"You are… breathtakingly beautiful, how do you not know that? You cannot just lie there like that and think that nothing will be wrong! Me standing here fully dressed while you lie there in all your glory, that's was wrong! "

Louisa threw her head back, and laughed! She stood up and looked for her night dress as she said" Good Lord, Martin, Now if that is not the most romantic compliment given to any woman on the face of this earth, I -

But she could not finish her sentence, as Martin was by her side in a flash; he picked her up and pushed her against the wall next to the steps, quite hard. He started kissing her feverishly, holding her so tight that she started to feel breathless. Excitement filled her whole body. This is definitely something out of the ordinary for Martin. She knew he was losing control; and it was fantastic, she did not want him to stop. She started to kiss back just as hard and urgently as he did. She wrapped her one leg around his hip, biting his bottom lip. He was …fierce with his kissing, touching, rubbing. Just when they both felt the rush and desire build up to something that could not be stopped, James let a scream out from the second floor!

Martin was shocked back to reality. He let go of Louisa so quickly that she nearly fell. When she found her balance she looked up at Martin and he looked…horrified! Why?

"O Dear ….James Henry, your timing needs some work. Sorry Martin, I guess it's time for his breakfast. We were quite lucky for him to have slept so late this morning. "Louisa searched for her nighty, found it lying under some pillows and quickly pulled it over her head, while she headed upstairs, leaving Martin standing alone in the living room, frozen.

A minute later Louisa and James came down, James all smiles. Martin was still standing at the exact same spot, he did not move and inch.

"Martin, what's wrong?"

Louisa's voice dragged him back to reality.

"Louisa!" He sounded …different.

"I am **so** sorry, Louisa, will you be able to forgive me? I don't know how that happened, I would never forgive myself if -

"Martin Stop! What are you talking about? Why are you apologizing?"

"I am really sorry. I don't know what came over me. I …hope I did not hurt you too much. I ..I…..lost control, God, that's embarrassing! How could I let that happen? I can promise it will never happen again!" His voice were pleading, his eyes were full of regret. He was terrified!

"Martin? Is this about a couple of minutes ago? When my husband took me into his arms and kissed the crap out of me, made my knees weak? When he showed me that he still got the hots for me? Are you apologizing for finally showing me that you also have passion and desire, like any normal person on this planet? I longed to see that side of you since the day I met you."

"Yes…but…it was wrong…I should not have pushed you so hard. I could have hurt you. I am a lot bigger than you and I did not even give you a chance to stop me."

"Oh Martin, Believe me, if I did not want it, you would have heard me loud and clear. There are many ways to kill a cat. I have learned over the years how to protect myself, don't you worry! But please don't apologize. I was pleasantly surprised, really. I found it exhilarating and different. I certainly hope it _will_ happen again. Not something I expected from you, But, I loved it. You were finally able to just let go. It was fantastic to see that side of you. You have so much raw emotions…it was…good."

He did not seem convinced, his eyes looked troubled. "So you are fine? I did not hurt you, did not offend you?"

"No, you did not. I am really flattered that I was able to make you lose control!" She shot him a wicket smile and turned towards the kitchen with James squirming in her arms. "I can only imagine what could have happened if James did not wake up. Something to look forward to though, right?"

"Hmm…Let me finish… breakfast." Martin was still feeling a bit odd. The feelings Louisa provoked in him earlier, were unusual and unknown. He needed time to sort it out.

They went outside and enjoyed their last breakfast at the cottage.

Louisa broke the silence that were creeping up on them for too long, like old times. "Martin, I like to say thank you for a wonderful weekend. James and I both enjoyed it a lot. It was very relaxing, revealing and…euphoric, if that is the right word. You showed me the side of you that I longed to see for a long time, I knew it was there, you just needed to….trust me enough and learn to relax and enjoy life."

Just then James also let out a scream and a giggle as if to say he also agrees.

"I know that Portwenn and his residents are winding you up daily, but you have to learn that it's their way of showing they care. If they don't talk about you, it means that you are of no interest to them, irrelevant, but by the way you are always on their tongues, it meant that you matter a lot. Like I told Peter Cronk years ago, you gotta let them tease you….The way you opened up to me, Martin, meant the world to me. It feels like HUGE Walls were broken down, and that we can finally look forward to our life together. You finally trusted me enough to share your most inner thoughts and secrets. Even your deepest desires came forward. That was … priceless. I will never take that for granted as I know how long it took you to talk about it and to trust me. Thank you for that as well. All and all, this was the most amazing weekends of my life. I was taken to none familiar lows and extreme highs. And you, you made that possible Martin, you are exceptional."

"The pleasure was all mine. Thank you… for coming with me this weekend. You and James made it…unforgettable."

"I enjoyed every minute. Can we maybe take one final family stroll to the beach before we come to pack and head back? "

"Fine"

"Just fine? You have no other words in your magnificent vocabulary than Fine?"

"Brilliant…yes I think...it will be Brilliant, better?"

"Yes, my dear Husband, better!"

Martin quickly went upstairs to get James' jacket and also his video camera, this might be his last chance in recording.

They walked to the beach and walked in silence, a happy little family. They did not walk far, when Louisa suggested that they settle on the beach as she found some buckets at the cottage. She said that they could build a sand castle. Louisa and James was sitting on the ground while Louisa attempted to build as many "castle walls" as she could before James would smash them down. Martin saw that she and James were so busy with their game, that they did not pay any attention to him. He took out his video camera and placed it on the stroller in such a way that it was perfectly aimed at them, without them noticing. He then went to sit just behind James, looking at Louisa, who was clearly having a great time with their son. He could see the playfulness and love on her whole face! And he saw the same emotions spread across James' face. In fact, he saw so mush of Louisa in James, that it was taking his breath away. He was astounded by them. They were HIS, both of them. Louisa was bound to him by the ring glowing on her left ring finger, and by the way they shared their bodies. James was bound to him by blood. Irreversible. And he simply loved the thought that for ever, they would be his. He was indeed a very lucky man. And he was surprised at how long it took him to actually realised how privileged he was! He hoped to never forget it again. He would work hard to ensure that this, right in front of him, would always belong to him. He would not survive it if this would to change again in any way.

"Look James, Daddy is daydreaming again! Come on Martin, let's take James to play a little in the shallow water." And with that she scooped up the little boy and ran towards the water. She let him stand with his feet in the shallow water. He was beaming with pleasure as the cold water rushed across his tiny feet. Martin stood close to the camera and rectified it to the new angle. Then he walked to them and stood nearby to watch the two playing about in the shallow water. After a while they were both exhausted. Martin quickly walked back to the stroller, and put away his camera before Louisa saw it. Louisa handed a soaking wet baby boy to Martin.

"Here, you take him for a while"

"Good heavens, Louisa, you and James are drenched! Why did you not bring a towel if you had a swim in mind?"

Louisa had a quick flashback to the previous day, an image of a handsome South African Teacher popped up in her head. She wondered what he was doing today. But quickly shuffled that thought out of her head.

"O, I did not think we would be getting wet today, just a spur of the moment thing, I guess. Did not know he would enjoy it that mush" she lied. "Let's go back to dry this little man, we don't want him to catch a cold or something."

Martin took James' jacket and put it on and also wrapped him in a blanket that was in the stroller and carried him all the way back from the beach while Louisa pushed the empty stroller.

When they arrived back, Martin took James to the bathroom and ran a warm bath. After a quick bath, he dressed James for their trip home. He put James in his playpen with some blocks and balls.

Martin joined Louisa who was sitting of one of the couches in the living room. They still had a while before they could start packing.

"This is a lovely house. This house and the backyard were good?" Martin was working his way up towards opening up the conversation to his second surprise or project.

"Yes, it was indeed. James enjoyed it outside, too bad our place back home do not have a backyard like this"

Martin got up, and went to the fetch something. When he returned with a folder in his hands Louisa looked at him with question marks all over her face?

"Louisa, I think it's time for our family to start living like one, with a proper house. Not one where the whole village constantly barge in and claim their space. I think it's vital for us moving forward to be able to break away at the end of the day, and have our own little piece of serenity. "

Before he continued, he cleared his throat…a sure sign of nervousness.

"I wanted to surprise you by buying you and James a house. And even start looking for the perfect one. But then I realised that if we were to buy a house, it should be both of our decision. I know I've buggered up previous big steps due to the fact that I wanted to spare you the stress of it all, like the Christening of James, so I know you don't…hm…appreciate the gesture the way I see it, therefor I think it would be best if you and me work on this project together? "

Louisa was simply…speechless. Where did this come from? Who is this person sitting next to her? He showed so many wonderful "trademarks" this weekend, it's a bit overwhelming!

"Wow, Martin you have me speechless, and I must just say that's nearly impossible to do, as you would well know by now! I don't even know …?

"Is this not the right thing Louisa? Is this not something you want? "

"NO, Martin. It's….uhm…perfect! I cannot think of anything else in the whole world that I would like to do more than search for the perfect house with you. That will be the best project ever. Now show me what you have in that folder of yours"

"Right. Obviously I had a few preferences when considering buying a house. I am looking for a 3 bedroom house at least. Big enough living room, big kitchen, an extra room to be used as a study and then also a nice back yard so that James can have a place to play safely. The basics. You might have some ideas of your own. Here are six houses that the local realtor gave me that is currently up for sale. We don't have to buy straight away, we can wait if you want, but I think it's really a step we should consider soon. James is getting bigger and we'll need a bigger space.

"Martin! You are…on a roll here. You sure "go for it" when you have something in mind, yeah? I am astonished. But, yes, I think this is a great idea. But before we can even think of buying, we have the matter of finance to sort out, don't we. I want us to be equal partners in this. I still have White Rose Cottage and you have the surgery. I will definitely sell my property in order to contribute to the cost of our new house. Luckily the cottage was paid up last year, so I don't owe anything on it anymore. I will also be able to do a monthly contribution for assisting in paying of the house debt. It might not be as substantial as we might need, but hopefully we can sort it out. I am sure with the money from White Rose Cottage as deposit, the monthly back payments will be less. Obviously you would want to keep the surgery as that is where you'll keep working, right?

"Yes, but I," he swallowed hard, "..I…sort of…have other plans."

"Wot, wha do ya mean?"

Martin can see that whatever he has to say next might not be acceptable to Louisa, as she IS a strong independent woman, she won't take it lightly. But it's what he wants to do, in fact, what he needs to do.

"I already have the money to be able to buy a house, any house you want"

"No Martin, I won't allow you to pay for our house, it don't matter if you already have the money or not. It won't be right. I need to also contribute to this or else I will simply not go through with it, am I making myself clear?" with that she stood up, tilt her head to one side, hands on her hips and her lip are being severely punished by her teeth.

"Louisa, calm down, sit down and don't work yourself up for nothing. I need you to please, listen to my reason. Please?" He was looking up from the couch, his eyes pleading.

She sat down and took a big breath. "Ok, I am sorry Martin. I will listen, I promise you that much."

"When I was working in the past, I had nothing to spend my money on. Yes, I bought the Kensington flat, and I bought myself a car when I needed to, but apart from that, I barely used any money. I never travelled much, I preferred to work, I did not care for expensive things, except from the occasional suit I bought and a couple of paintings. I simply bought what I needed, and it had to be good quality so that it would last for a lifetime. I invested most of my money. When my father came to Portwenn and demanded money for his part of Joan's farm, I sold my Kensington flat as it was the quickest way to get him what he needed. But I still have a lot of money from the investments and that will be more than enough to buy a house, and even fix it up and refurnish it, just the way we want it."

"Oh?" she did not look convinced yet. In fact, she seemed annoyed. This would be harder than he thought.

"White Rose Cottage means a lot to me, Louisa. It is where I first proposed, where we first made love, and James was conceived. It's where our lives together started. I don't want you to sell it. I think it would be good to keep it for the long run. One day you can leave it to James, and he will always have a little place of his own in Portwenn, whether he would like to stay there or not, it could be his. I do appreciate the fact that you are willing to contribute, but… I ...really …uhm… **need** …to buy you and our son a house for us to start our life as a family. This is a gift, to you for giving me so many chances and… you are not allowed to say NO to a gift…"

Louisa was still biting her lip, but there were also tears in her eyes.

"I…..I did not know you felt that way…about White Rose Cottage… and about buying a house. I am sorry about earlier. I should have known you would have a valid explanation, you always do, I just never give you proper time to speak your mind, do I? That's been one of our mayor problems, hasn't it? Me always attacking you, bombarding you with questions, which mostly you did not understand straight away, and then quickly leave, before you have time to respond or think about it. That is a big problem on my side, and I am only realising the impact of it all now…Jeez, Martin, I am sorry. This is like a massive eye opener for me. And what you said about keeping White Rose Cottage, for James, that's bloody marvellous! You are … I have no words…you are fantastic! You just made me the happiest woman in all of England – again.

And with that Louisa fell into Martins lap and kissed him tenderly.

"So, it's a yes?" Martin was sometimes still unsure about what Louisa was trying to say, when she did not answer questions with a definite yes or no answer.

"Yes, Martin, it's a definite yes. I cannot wait to start "shopping" for our perfect house. Now, let's see what you have collected so far!

For the next half hour or so, they were in deep discussions about the 6 house samples Martin got from the Realtor. This house did not have these requirements, and that house did not have those requirements. They both settled on a house they each liked. They decided to go have a look at it, when their back home and would then decide which of the two is best.

"I guess it's time for us to pack?" Martin took Louisa's hand and pulled her into his embrace. He lightly kissed her lips.

They got up and started to pack their things and soon the Lexus was filled again to the max. They stood at the back of the cottage, Martin holding James in his one arm and Louisa nestled under his arm. They stood there; just taking in the view and closeness of their little family. Louisa turned and looked at Martin, as if to study him. After a while, Martin felt quite uneasy about it.

"Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I am just trying to copy and file this version of you, Martin. You look extremely relaxed, at ease and extremely handsome. I never want to forget the way you look right now. Are you…happy Martin?"

"Yes, very. You?"

"Ecstatic! I feel a lot has changed these past couple of days. We can face the world head on, can't we Martin. I feel refreshed and relaxed. But mostly I feel that we – me and you - have a lot more confidence in each other and that is a feeling I would not want to change for all the money in the world. I feel that there will still be lots of changes to come, definitely some rows, but I am positive about them. What do you think, hm?"

"I enjoyed this weekend a lot. There were changes and I believe some changes in the future are inevitable, but we…can face it. You are my world, my life. I love you and our son endlessly.

"I love you too Martin."

And with that they turned around and got into the car, ready for whatever the future throws at them.

X


	10. Chapter 11

_A/N: Thanks so mush for the couple of reviews, you are too kind!_

 _Just a Quick little chapter before the weekend. Hope you'll like it..._

PART 2

Chapter 11

When the Ellingham family arrived back from their weekend away, the villagers could see that it was time well spend. Louisa was beaming with happiness. Even the Doc seemed…contend. He was not friendlier than before, but seemed more tolerant.

Louisa still had the week off from school, so she and James were upstairs when Martin's day started at the surgery.

On that specific Monday, DR Ellingham's very first patient was treated to a rare phenomenon.

Charlie Whitely, a fisherman by day time, and heavy drinking gigolo by night, came in all stiff and swollen when Martin opened his door. O goody, Martin thought. Just another bar fight mess-up. These bloody idiots never learn.

"Mr Whitely, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well you ca bloody well see the problem, can't ya Doc? Got my arse kicked yesterday. Too bad you weren't here." Charlie's nose was swollen tremendously…but he was also holding his stomach. Or was it higher up the waist?

"Ah. Move over to the bed then."

Charlie walked to the bed slowly and after a bit of a struggle, lay down.

Martin looked at his nose, which was – as expected - broken. He also lifted his shirt to see a big bruised spot just across where the costae fluitantes were. Those two ribs were really soft and can get bruised and even broken quite easily.

"Just as I thought, a broken nose and looks like broken ribs. I think it be best if you go see a specialist at hospital about the nose and they could also take some X-Rays of your ribs to be sure. They would most likely need to break your nose again, to get it straight. Due to the fact that it was broken yesterday and I only get to see you today."

"No my fault you were no around yesterday Doc. Heard you and the missus went away for da weekend?"

"Hm, yes. I will put some bandages on these ribs, wrap then up tightly, as they will need time to heal. Not much more can be done. You will need to keep still for at least a week to give them time to heal. After that they will still feel very fragile for at least 6 weeks. Laughing and coughing will hurt. I will give you some paracetamol for the pain. I will ask Morwenna to contact the hospital so that you can go get that nose sorted. Anything else?"

"Doc, can I get blue balls?"

"What?" Martin looked at Charlie with irritation. These people always had odd questions.

"It's just tha I got kneed so hard in the balls; I was wondrin' if they could get blue?"

So you were also…kicked…in…"

"Yeah Doc, could you take a look?" And with that Charlie dropped his pants."

"Mr Whiteley, I've never seen someone that got blue … there. It's most likely just…sensitive. Pull up your pants"

Charlie was bending over slowly and struggled a lot to get his pants up. Martin bend down and helped the idiot as he would only waste time if he did it all on his own. Martin was busy zipping him up, when Charlie said: "You know Doc, this is all your missus' fault."

"Don't be outrageous; Louisa was not even in town, how it could be her fault!" Martin felt the anger build up inside of him. They were always looking for someone else to blame for their idiotic malingering.

"I got my arse kicked by Anne. I was eyein' her all night in the pub; she was throwin' me signals all evenin', you know how these girls are. I went over to chat a little, you know, I stroked her bum, and might have touched her baps as well. When I leaned in for a kiss, she kicked me in the sack, and when I was bendin' over she kneed my ribs, and then I got kneed again on da nose! She looked at me and said…" _You got served, LG style_ ". I couldn't speak, but my mate Chippy, was standing close to me and asked what " _LG style_ " was. She told us that Miss Louisa Glasson told a couple of them girl those moves when they were a bit younger, " _to defend themselves, she said_ ", so their calling it the _LG style_. So see, this," and he made some gestures with his hands towards his face and body, "Is all Miss Glasson's fault. "

Charlie got up and walked slowly to the door, opened in and was walking out when he turned and said. "Your missus is dangerous, Doc. I'd be very careful around her."

But it was what the Doc did next, that took Charlie, Morwenna and every other patient that was waiting in the consulting room by surprised.

Doctor Martin Ellingham laughed! As in really laughed out loud! For about 5 seconds. Then he tried his best to look dead serious but a grin still lingered on his face. He turned to Morwenna and said. "Give me a minute to finish Mr Whitely's notes before you send in the next patient."

When Martin got to his desk, he sat down with a smile again on his face. He thought back to the Sunday morning…when he got a bit … _out of control_ with Louisa. She mentioned then that there were "many ways to kill a cat" if she did not appreciate his intensions. He could clearly see what she meant. It's obvious now she wanted it just as much or… He thought of what might have happened if she used the _LG Style_ on him. It seemed Charlie was right…he have to keep an eye on his wife, she could be a dark horse.

He picked up the phone and called the florist.

"Next patient!"

Louisa and James was just about to go out for a stroll along the coastal path, when there was a knock on the kitchen door. When she opened the door, she only saw a huge bouquet of red roses. Must be at least 20.

"Hello?" Louisa said as she could only saw feet and roses.

"Hi, sorry, it Tom, I am just delivering these for Mrs Louisa Ellingham."

"I am Mrs … Ellingham"

"Ok, there you go." He then stuffed the flowers in her hands and walked away.

"Oh, right then James. Let's see what this is all about." Louisa felt quite excited, as any woman would when receiving such a nice bouquet of Red Roses! She hoped in her heart that it was from Martin, but he never ever sent her flowers before – ever. He only handed her flowers once before, and he did not even buy them, they were from a patient who was congratulating them on their first engagement. She took out the card and read it.

 _Louisa_

 _Thank you for making the weekend unforgettable._

 _And for not using the "LG Style" on me._

 _With all my Love,_

 _Martin Ellingham._

You could knock Louisa over with a feather! Where did this come from? Was this really Martin who sent these flowers, wrote this very … odd note? It's his handwriting, she pondered, but it's so unlike him to do this. Thanking her for a lovely weekend. And where did he find out about the Village name for the moves she taught the young girls? "LG Style." It made her smile. Did Martin make a joke about it? She thought about the morning she might have used it _IF_ Martin's intensions were not welcomed. Oh, just thinking about that and all the other great moments, made the blood move to her cheeks and she felt a flutter in her stomach and her heart skipped a beat! It was lovely. Every moment was worth revisiting. And now these lovely roses … O Martin, why did it take so long for him to be like this? She could really get used to this new and improved version. Martin Ellingham 2.0.

"James, you and me are quite lucky you know as we are the objects of affection of a truly unique person! Now let's get out of here, before I storm into that surgery and embarrass your daddy!"

James just responded with a giggle and grin as the only thing he heard was "daddy" and he loved his daddy!

Martin was extremely busy throughout the morning. Since he was not in on Friday and Saturday, it seemed the whole village developed any disease under the sun, so they all came for a visit. By lunch time, he felt exhausted already, but it was ... good. He had to admit to himself that he liked to be wanted for help. When he returned back from the kitchen, after a very quick lunch, he noticed his mobile phone light was flickering. There was a message … from Louisa? Ah, she must have received the flowers. He hoped she liked it. He never sent anyone flowers before, waste of time and money, but according to sources – research done by him – that's what women liked.

 _Thank you so much for the Beautiful Flowers. It took my breath away! I will always remember our weekend away, as it was the best weekend I ever had. I will make a point to thank you properly tonight for the roses. Be prepared…or face the "LG". With all my Love. Louisa._

Martin never received messages like this from Louisa. When they communicated by message, it was usually just to inform the other of something important, like an emergency call out. So while reading this very nice message from Louisa, Martin felt how he blushed and moved uncomfortably in his chair. She liked the Flowers!

She loved the weekend as much as he did…and she was to thank him properly tonight! He swallowed very hard at the thought of the prospects. He wished the day was over! Get a grip Ellingham, he reprimanded himself. O, but it's so hard to concentrate if you get those kind of promises stuck in your mind! It will be 4 and a half more hours before his day would end … and then it was still a long way to bed time.

The patients that was scheduled to see Martin that afternoon, was surprised by his tolerance. He did not once scream at anyone, or called them idiots, in fact, it seemed like he was a bit … far off at times. But they preferred that any day. Yes, they were sure it had something to do with the Ellingham's' weekend away.


	11. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Martin went to visit his Aunt the Tuesday after they returned. He needed to talk to her. He walked over to her cottage in his lunch hour.

After a knock on the door, she came out.

"Well hello Martin. Nice to see you. " She smiled her crooked little sideways smile while opening the door so he could go in. He went through and sat next to the table.

"Hello. How have you been? How are you feeling?"

"All right, thank you, as always. Now why do I have the pleasure of a home visit from my favourite nephew?"

"I am your only nephew" he stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, with a farther like yours, we might never know. Sorry, I supposed I should not speak ill of the dead."

"Uhm. Right. I needed to ask you…I was wondering…uhm."

"Well, uhm and ah won't get anything done."

"I need to know if you could refer me …again…to a Psychiatrist. Dr Timothy won't be able to assist us anymore. And I…was thinking of a different type of professional. I have come to terms with my haemophobia; I will just have to live with it. I am never going to be a surgeon again, so that's that. I need someone that will be able to help…me…personally. Preferably with years' experience, that won't waste time with small talk.

"So I take it the weekend away was good? You and Louisa have come to …some understanding?"

"Yes…it was valuable. But I need to get things sorted."

"Things … meaning you? Was that part of her … condition? " She was surprised that her nephew would ask for this…again.

"What? No! Not at all. I've come to realise that I might have some unresolved chi…. issues."

"I will look into some candidates I know, one or two springs to mind, but I will rather get back to you in a couple of days.

"Thank you." With that he stood up, walked to the door to leave.

"You and Louisa must sort yourselves our for once and all. You can't keep on doing this you know. That little boy is growing up quite fast and needs a steady home."

"Yes, I am trying."

Minutes after Martin left, Ruth's phone rang and when she answered she was quite surprised.

"Hello Ruth, its Louisa. How are you?" her voice sounded friendly and warm, as always.

"Good and you dear. You just missed Martin. Were you looking for him?"

"No, not at all. I just called to ask if you maybe wanted to go for coffee later on today."

"Yes dear, that will be fine."

"Great. I will come around half two. That's James' nap time, so Janice will look after him. Is that good for you?"

"Perfect."

Now that was quite interesting, Ruth thought. Rather peculiar.

When Louisa arrived, Ruth was waiting for her outside and together they walked to town. They walked over to the little coffee shop and placed their orders – coffee and cake. Louisa sat back in her chair and looked very….contend. Ruth was first to break the silence.

"So, you and Martin had a good weekend?"

"Oh Ruth…it was simply great! Martin rented this secluded cottage about an hour and a half's drive from here. Not a soul for miles. The cottage was just beautiful, with the most amazing views of the ocean with marvellous sunsets. He even did a barbeque for us! Can you imagine? It was just wonderful really. And much needed. We should have made time for something like that a long time ago. It was finally just the three of us. We could relax and just enjoy each other. No interruptions. I wish we could do that more often. You know we never went away alone **s** ince we met. Not counting our… adventurous honeymoon night. I can't help to think that if we did that ages ago, we might have sorted out a lot of misunderstandings."

"So the two of you are…sorted out?" Ruth asked with her head tipped to one side

"Well, yes. I would say. But…" She troubled her bottom lip with her teeth.

"There's always a but, isn't there"

Louisa gave a shy smile. "Yes, I guess."

"So what's wrong dear?"

"Martin opened up to me this weekend like he never did before. It was unexpected. I understand things so much better. And it made me think really hard about our future." She sat back with a far off look on her face.

After a couple of minutes Ruth said: "And? Do you still _see_ a future with my charming nephew?"

"Oh, yes, sorry, I did not mean to imply any different. I just did some soul searching and have come to realise that I…I…well maybe I need to speak to someone…you know…professional, like you."

"Are you criminally insane?"

"Why, No!"

"Well, those were the only patients I saw in recent years, so I don't think I would be the best person to help you Louisa, plus I prefer not to treat family."

O, Right, I understand."

"But, I can refer you to a great colleague of mine. I guess this is only for you? You want to do this alone, no Martin?"

"Yes Ruth. I feel I have some unresolved problems that might have led to…rows between Martin and me. I realised that he is definitely not the only one to blame for everything that ever went wrong between us. I have been …" She stopped and frowned, but did not say anything else.

"Right. Please give me a couple of days to talk to one or two people. I will try my best to find the right person for you."

"Thank you, that's nice of you."

After they finished their coffee and cake, they headed back to Ruth's cottage.

"Thanks for joining me for coffee Ruth."

"Oh, the pleasure was mine, Louisa. Say hi to James for me, I haven't even seen him since you came from your weekend."

"Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night, that way we can all get together for a change?"

"I will never decline an opportunity for a decent meal. Thank you, I will be there at 6"

"See you then, bye" she waived and walked towards the surgery.

Ruth watched Louisa as she walked away.

It seemed to her that her nephew and his teacher wife had finally come to their senses. Maybe Louisa was right. They should have had time alone, away from this village, long ago. Things might have been a bit different then. But, there's no time like the present. And speaking off, she mustn't diddle in finding both of them a good psychologist. At least she will be able to play some small part in helping these two lost souls. One can only be helped if one choses to. Both of them came to her, so clearly they thought it's time. She's glad Martin came…he desperately needed to talk to someone, it was long overdue. She was a bit surprised by Louisa, as she thought the girl had it together, but you never know what goes on in the mind of another. Yes…she mustn't linger on this.

When Ruth knocked on the kitchen door Wednesday at quarter to 6, the table was already set. It looked like the food was also done. James was sitting in his high chair next to the table. When he saw Ruth he kicked and babbled!

"Hi Ruth, come on in, everything is nearly done. Martin just went upstairs to freshen up a bit. Can I get you something to drink? I have a nice bottle of wine for the two of us. Care for a glass?

"Hello Louisa. Hello James! You don't ever stop growing, do you?"

"He's getting big, isn't he? He also started saying words. Well, it sounds like words to me anyway."

"While Martin is still not down, I quickly wanted to give you the details of my colleague…as you asked for." With that Ruth handed Louisa a small piece of paper with a name and contact details on.

"Thank you Ruth, I really appreciate this." Louisa took the paper and put it on top of the fridge. She would put it into her purse later on.

Martin came down and they were all ready for dinner. It was nice to have Ruth over. Louisa kept on babbling about the nice weekend they had and how James enjoyed the beach and the cottage.

"We decided to buy a house" Martin said to Ruth after their dinner. He and Louisa were cleaning the dishes while Ruth sat with a glass of wine at the table, trying to entertain James.

"That's great news. Have you looked at property yet? When I decided to get a cottage in the village, I saw that there weren't too many houses up for sale in town?"

"Yes, or …no. I only got pictures for some of the available houses off the internet. We made an appointment with the realtor for this coming Friday to have a look at the ones we like. There were only six available and we both liked one, but not the same one." Martin spoke quickly.

"Choosing a house is exciting. But not agreeing on the same one can be difficult."

Louisa looked at Martin and smiled. "Hopefully we'll be able to come to some sort of agreement, right Martin? Martin has his preferences and so do I, maybe we'll find a house that has everything we both want"

"Hmmm" was the only answer she got from Martin.

"You know I heard quite an interesting story today while I was at the pharmacy." Ruth spoke in her even toned voice, with a big grin on her face. "I heard some villagers were quite …entertained yesterday morning when their GP graced them with a full out laugh! Sarcasm, Martin?"

Martin's eyes grew big and he started stuttering. "Ah, I…that…uhm … Rubbish!" These people have nothing better to do than gossip about small things"

Louisa looked at Ruth, clearly puzzled at what Ruth said..

Ruth just mouthed the words 'later' to her.

Ruth got up to leave. "Thank you for inviting me to dinner Louisa. It was lovely. I haven't had a lovely Chicken casserole like that in ages. But I need to get these old bones to bed now. Martin, care to walk me home?"

"It was a pleasure having you, thanks for coming over. While Martin walks you home, I will give this little man a bath and get him settled for bed"

When Ruth and Martin arrived at her cottage, she thanked him for dinner and the walk home.

"I asked you to walk me home so I could give you these." She handed him two business cards.

"These are two of the best I could find. I personally worked with one of them for a couple of years in London, and the other one is well known to all my colleagues. I want you to go see both of them and then decide which one is the best for you.

"Thank you." Martin took the cards and placed it in his jacket pocket. He was about to turn, when Ruth spoke again.

"I want you to stick with it this time. You have a nice family Martin. You have a beautiful loving wife, adorable little boy. You need to let go of whatever holds you back, and work on making a future for the 3 of you. You _deserve_ it, you know…and they deserve it."

"Thank you Ruth. Good night."

"Good Night Martin."


	12. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Friday finally came and Louisa was very excited about the house hunting. She woke up with an unsteady feeling in her stomach and it only felt better after she had some toast and tea. Must be the excitement about the day ahead she thought. For once Louisa made a point to be on time, as Martin liked to be punctual…and from past experiences she knew he'd just be grumpy if she was late. She suddenly realised it was progress from her side. In the past she would have cared less if she was late, but now she thought of how it would affect their day. She could almost pat herself on the back.

Janice were to keep an eye on James while they were gone.

Together they drove to the address of the first house. The realtor was already waiting when they arrived. He introduced himself as Rob Jenkins. He advised them that he had three houses to show them. This first house was Louisa's choice from the pictures and the second one was Martin's, but he also found a third one that was fresh on the market and said that they could go view the house uninterrupted as the owners were on leave.

And so the tour began. House number one – A 4 bedroom, 2 bathrooms detached house on New Road. Louisa's choice.

From outside, the house did not look very big, but it was deceptively spacious. There was decent space in front for 2 cars to park.

The living room / dining room open plan was adequate, nice flooring, large, but nothing special. The kitchen though, made up for anything the living room fell short off. It was a magnificent very large black and white kitchen, with cupboards all around. Very modern equipment that clearly showed it recently had a do-over. Every woman's dream kitchen. It also had a pantry to the side. And a wash up that was separate from the kitchen. Louisa could already imagine herself and Martin standing in that kitchen making dinner together.

Between the living room and kitchen stairs led them up. The master bedroom – en-suite- was really nice and big, nice carpets, beautiful lights, enough closets with plenty of space. The bathroom had twin basins and a walk in shower. 2 other bedrooms were across from the master, more or less the same size, decent closet space, clearly rooms you would give to kids. At the end was the second bathroom. Tucked in the furthest corner was a very small room, you could barely fit in two single beds.

When going outside through the living room open doors, there was a good size garden, well maintained. All and all, a very nice house. Louisa was all smiles.

Off to the second house. A 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house in Dolphin Street. Martin's choice.

The front door of the house was marvellous, it was a carved out wooden door that swung open to both sides. The carved out picture was a nice replica of what looked like the harbour of Portwenn. When you walked through the door you stepped into a beautiful living room. There were white spotted tiles on the floor, a low ceiling, a beautiful chandelier and an amazing fireplace. At the farthest end to the room, big doors pushed open and you had a fantastic view that looked over the village. When you turned left you entered the kitchen. The kitchen was not as big and modern as at the previous house, but it had everything you needed. Looking out the Kitchen window, they could see a small back yard with a grass terrace, it would be low maintenance. To the right of the living room were the staircase to go upstairs, but just next to the staircase were a small study tucked away with a build in bookcase and small high windows.

On the second floor to the right was a decent sized master bedroom, also en-suite, with closets spread across the one wall. And build in mirrors everywhere. To the left of the staircase were two rooms that looked exactly the same, with a bathroom linking them to one another…a nice touch! Once again, not a bad choice as well.

"Right", said Mr Jenkins after they left the Dolphin street house, "those were the two you wanted to see, now we'll drive up to _my_ choice for you."

Martin and Louisa followed Mr Jenkins in their Lexus through the streets of Portwenn, up, past the surgery on Rosscarock Hill and then they took a sharp left. When they turned into the driveway, they were greeted by a wonderful looking house. White walls, coloured roof, French styled windows. Lovely garden out front.

As Mr Jenkins got out of his car, he started talking. "This 4 bedroom beauty just became available yesterday, as the owners decided to move closer to their kids. All their furniture are still in the house, as they first went for an extended holiday trip, and decided to put the house in the market so long to see if they'd get any offers.

The first thing you noticed about the house is that it's got decking all around. It looked very nice. The ground floor consisted of a lovely cosy living room, again with a nice fireplace. The living room walked over into the dining room that had huge, wonderful windows that had an amazing view of the ocean. The flooring was modern wooden floors, not the old kind that screeched and cracked when you walked on them, these were very nice. Next to the dining room was the kitchen. There were wooden cabinets along the walls and the table tops were grey marble. To the other side of the living room was one bedroom, en-suite. It had big doors that opened to the side of the backyard. When the doors slide open it allowed the sunlight to pour in. It would be great for a guest bedroom. It was as if this was a …special room, sort of secluded from the rest of the house. If you wanted to be left alone, this would be your favourite room. Tucked in between the stairs and the living room were a little study, it was just big enough to fit in a desk, chair and maybe a little cupboard; it had a big window to the back.

The second floor were very spacious. The master bedroom was simply beautiful. It had a walk in closet that in turn walked through to a beautiful bathroom with a corner bath and separate walk in shower. The view from the bedroom windows was amazing; the whole of Portwenn could be seen to the right and to the left were the ocean. It was spectacular. Across from the master bedroom were a biggish room with lots of closet space. Next to that room were a smaller room, but not too small. At the end of the hall was the second bathroom with a wonderful big tub. It was beautifully finished off. The hallway had built in closets that could be used to store extra bedding.

The back yard of this house were quite big, therefor the neighbours were not too close. It had a paved patio and a beautiful grass terrace. The garden was well maintained and you wouldn't need a lot to keep it that way.

"So, what do you folks think of the 3 houses?"

"Thank you Mr Jenkins for taking the time to patiently show us around. We liked all the houses, didn't we, Martin?" Louisa looked up at Martin, with eyes that sparkled with excitement. She looked truly happy! Martin was feeling satisfied to see his wife for once in such a happy carefree mood.

"Uhm, Right. My wife and I will discuss it and we will get back to you within a week. Thank you for your time" Martin stuck out his hand to greet Mr Jenkins. He kept all of his opinions to himself and did not grunt once during this whole ordeal. He made a promise to himself – and actually a silent one to Louisa – not to ruin this day! He knew it was important to her and he wanted to make sure she would have a good day. He walked through the houses, in silence, taking in everything he saw and filed it in his master brain. There would be enough time to talk about it later…when they were alone.

"Great, I hope to hear from you soon! Good bye Dr Ellingham, Mrs Ellingham."

Martin and Louisa got into the Lexus and drove the short drive home, as this last house were almost just around the corner from the surgery.

When they parked the car, Louisa got hold of Martin's arm and pulled him back so that he could not get out. "So Martin, what do you think, hm? Which one was your favourite? I simply loved-

"Wait, Louisa!" Martin interrupted her. "I …I think we should both take time to reflect on all the positives and negatives of each house, and once we both had time to consider, we can discuss iy. I could … cook us dinner tomorrow night, and afterwards we could sit down and … pick the house that we would spend the rest of our lives in?" Martin looked deeply into Louisa's eyes, he didn't want to miss a single expression she might show when he said those words.

"That sounds….wonderful, can't wait. Thank you Martin, this was nice…one for the memory books." Louisa gave him a light kiss on the cheek and smiled.

They got out of the car and walked to the kitchen door.


	13. CHAPTER 14

Chapter 14

Saturday was a relaxed day. Louisa took James mid-morning for a stroll to town. She wanted to ensure their fridge and pantry got filled up a bit and that all the necessities for the house was bought. On Monday school will start again after the small break so she wanted to make sure everything was sorted at home. Martin had morning consultations until midday, but was free for the afternoon. Before Louisa left for town, she quickly stopped by his office to ask if he needed anything from the shops.

"No Thank you, Louisa. I will get what I need later. You just go do what you need to do."

"I am looking forward to tonight." Louisa gave him a smile that made Martin all…twitchy inside.

"Right."

When Louisa walked into the kitchen, nausea hit her so hard; she had to run upstairs very quickly. She was leaning over the toilet but nothing came out. What was that all about? She did have breakfast. When she stood up, she felt a little dizzy and had to hold onto the basin to steady herself. This was a bit unsettling. She splashed some water across her face, dried it and looked into the mirror. She didn't look ill. This was just sporadic. Maybe something she ate. O well, she felt better. She'll talk to Martin about it, if the 'symptoms persisted', as he would say.

Louisa enjoyed taking James to town. As far as they went, people stopped and talked to James and her. She thought about the six months she spent in London when she found out she was pregnant. It was the worst time of her life. She would have been utterly miserable in London if she stayed. This is her home; this is where she…and James belonged. Luckily Martin also decided to stay on, and now they are looking forward in buying a house…start a real future - the three of them. She was feeling truly lucky of how her life turned out. A wonderful husband who she knew loved her till the end of time, and this beautiful baby boy. However, she really needed to sort out herself. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that all her and Martins mishaps in the past weren't always just his fault. She can be a bit jumpy and edgy...and she's definitely insecure. She might sometimes only believe her own point of view is correct and always judged Martin's opinion on something. Except when it's Medical. He's a magnificent doctor! Yes, she must make a point in contacting the psychologist Ruth recommended.

She and James did their shopping and whilst walking home, James fell asleep in his buggy.

She entered through the kitchen and took James out of his stroller and walked upstairs to put him in his room for his nap. She came downstairs and did not hear anything from Martin's office so she knocked on the door and entered. Martin was sitting at his desk, a deep frown between his eyes. He had print outs of the 3 houses spread across his table – in order, no doubt. Below each picture were notes written on paper.

"Made a decision yet?" Louisa was curious as to what Martin thought about the houses.

"Hm, so far I only did what I suggested we both do. Weighing the positives and negatives. Have you?"

"Not yet, Martin. I was planning on sitting down with a glass of wine and do exactly that. James is taking his nap, so now should be a good time. I'll leave you to it then"

She walked out and left Martin staring at her backside. She was breath-taking. Her ponytail was swishing left and right, her perfect figure, her gorgeous bum…! He gulped loudly and forced his wondering mind back to the task at hand. Louisa was the only thing ever in his life that could completely distract him. He realised that it's imperative that he go see the psychologist Ruth suggested. The last 3 weeks have been…better between them. There weren't that many rows. He knew he and Louisa have controlled themselves fairly well lately, but sometimes he still felt the old urges and feelings popped into his head, and it's those times, that he really had to admit that he might have been at fault in the past. He still can't understand why at times things were his fault, but he could see the results were mostly not favourable. Therefor whatever he did must have been wrong. It's just so hard to understand why? He just didn't understand things the way other people – Louisa – did.

He shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the task at hand again. Right, the house. Louisa, James and his house. For their future together. Forever in Portwenn.

After spending more than an hour on that, he made a decision that was correct in his mind. He was sure he would be able to convince Louisa of his choice with the points he dotted down. Now, it was 15:35 and he needed to go to the butcher and market and start getting their dinner ready.

When he walked into the kitchen, Louisa sat there with her laptop and some pen and paper. On the screen Martin saw that the images of the 3 houses were split on the screen. The paper were full of notes and scribbles…he could not make out a single thing. Well, that's Louisa for you. She had her own methods.

"I am off to the market, to get our supplies for dinner,"

A mumbled "Hm" was the only thing that could be heard coming from Louisa. She was far off, Martin was sure she might not even recall that he was in the kitchen, so he just left.

After his visit to town, Martin returned to an empty kitchen, however, all of Louisa's things were still lying on the table. The table he needed for preparing their dinner.

At that exact moment James and Louisa came downstairs. James was all smiles. Louisa was kissing his cheeks excessively, and he seemed to think it was nice. When he saw Martin he mumbled some baby words and reached for Martin. Martin took James and turned to Louisa.

"Louisa, do you mind clearing the table. I need the space for preparing dinner."

"Where am I supposed to put my laptop and notes, this is where I worked! I do not have the privilege you do of having your own office in this house! It's frustrating that I have nowhere to do anything"! Louisa shouted, clearly annoyed by the situation!

Martin took a deep breath, and softly said: "Uhm, hopefully this will be sorted out soon enough"

Louisa snapped her neck and looked at him sharply. Her eyes were shooting fire. But then he saw how her eyes changed as she realised what he was saying. It became softer, and just like that, she gave him a small shy smile. "I'm sorry, you did not deserve that! "

She collected her papers, pressed the off button on the laptop, put it in the bag and left the kitchen.

James and Martin just stood there, confused. James looked at him and said some baby words. Martin looked at him and said. "I know, most of the time I don't understand her either"

Martin put James in his playpen and then turned to start preparing their dinner. He was just washing the Brussel sprouts and carrots when Louisa came down. She walked up to him, gave him a little hug.

"Anything I can help with?"

"No Thank you. You can just relax"

"Well, maybe James and I can go for a walk. Give you enough time to finish our dinner. That OK?"

"Good."

With Louisa and James gone, Martin was able to work swiftly and precisely. He did love his small little family, but preparing dinner was something he liked doing on his own. He controlled what they ate, how nutritional it was and how tasty it would be. Tonight, he would actually have a surprise for Louisa, as his usual – fish – was not on the menu. He was sure she and James would love it!

Louisa thought about a stroll to the harbour but decided to turn left when she left the surgery. She walked up the hill and past all the houses, leading her to her favourite spot up the hill where she could have a nice view of Portwenn and the sea. She strolled along the Coastal path and before she realised it, she actually walked a bit too far. She felt a little flushed and she had an uneasy feeling on her stomach. She remembered that she was so involved in the house notes that she did not have lunch today. That might be the reason. She better not tell Martin, or he was sure to lecture her on proper nutrition and such. _Dr Ellingham_ could be so exhausting at times.

She and James turned around and headed back home. When she entered through the kitchen door, she was hit with the most amazing smell! Her stomach reminded her again that she did not have lunch and a flash of nausea swept over her. She swallowed hard and was able to control it! Hard to believe one skipped meal could make her feel like that.

"Martin! What are you cooking, it smells heavenly…and not like fish at all" Louisa sniffed again heavily.

Martin took a casserole out of the oven and placed it on the table.

"Dinner is ready. I will just set the table, and then we can eat.

She took James and they both headed to the bathroom to wash up. When they returned she sat him in his chair. Louisa went to get some glasses and filled them with water after Martin set the table.

When they were ready, Martin took the lid of the casserole and Louisa was blown away. Martin prepared a Beef roast with Brussel sprouts, carrots and baby potatoes. The flavours that came from that dish were intoxicating! Louisa's mouth was watering, literally.

Martin dished it up and Louisa mashed carrots and potatoes for James, with some of the sauce. Martin also cut a small piece of the Roast and placed it in James' bowl. It was big enough so that James could easily hold it in his hands. Louisa was blowing James food so that it would get cold quickly, but wished she could just dug into her own bowl.

As if reading her mind, for a change, Martin said. "Let me do that and feed James, then you could eat so long."

"Thank you Martin, I don't think I can wait another minute." and with that she took a huge bite of the lovely roast.

"HHMMM!" She groaned. "This is officially the best Roast beef I've ever had! The flavours in here are magnificent! And these carrots and Brussel sprouts are just …perfect! How did you do this? You don't even like beef, you only like fish!"

Martin looked at Louisa with one eyebrow raised. "I don't _just_ like fish. On occasion, I can appreciate a good Roast Beef. Joan used to make Beef roast like this all the time. Red meat is not as healthy as chicken or fish. It should really not be consumed that often." He continued feeding James who was smacking his lips in enjoyment. Seemed he loved his father's cooking. When Martin was done feeding him the carrots and potato mix, he handed James a piece of the meat, and turned to his chair to enjoy his dinner.

Louisa was savouring every bite and after she was done, she was completely stuffed. She sat back with a satisfied grin on her face while she watched Martin eat.

"I see your plan Dr Ellingham. Don't take me for a fool." Louisa was looking at Martin with a small smile on her face.

"And what might that be, Mrs Ellingham?" Martin cocked his head to the right.

"You want to seduce me with wonderful food and good company, make me soft and then use it against me to ensure we buy the house you want."

Martin gave her the smallest of grin but did not say a word. He stood up, cleared the plates and started to wash up.

"Thank you Martin, this was really nice. James loved it, he is clutching to that piece of beef like no tomorrow! It was good to have something out of the ordinary." She gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Pleasure"

I'll take James for his bath quickly, and afterwards we can play with him a bit, all right?"

"Yes."

Martin finished quickly but he could still hear Louisa and James laughing and splashing in the bathroom. Soon after they came down and Louisa placed James in the living room on a blanket. They sat with James and played with him. When James started to rub his eyes and get a bit fuzzy, Louisa took James upstairs to read his story and put him to bed.

When Louisa returned, Martin was sitting at the kitchen table. Everything was neat and tidy.

He had his notes and the pictures ready. Clearly he was just waiting for her, so that they could start. He seemed…anxious?

"Let me quickly go get my things and we can start. And Martin, relax. This is not something that should provoke fear. It should be something we enjoy. So let's just talk about it. No need to look like we're heading for our death sentence. I know this is important, but if we can't agree on any of these houses, we could always search again. Not the end of the world."

Louisa collected her laptop and notes, and soon she and Martin sat across each other at the table, discussing all the positive and negatives of each house. Oddly enough, after an hour of intense discussions, they realised they did not once argue about anything the other said. In their books, that was near to a world record.

'Right. So we discussed everything. I think we should both pick the house that we prefer." Martin was now anxious to get to a point. If they know which one the other person wanted, they could work towards that.

"OK, pick your favourite from your pictures and I will pick my favourites from the saved copy on my laptop. On the count of 3 we show each other the one we want. "

'Isn't that a bit…childish?"

"No Martin, It's not!" Louisa gave him a look that said he shouldn't disagree.

"Fine"

"Ok, Ready? One…two…three."

Louisa turned her laptop, but closed her eyes, she didn't want to see what Martin picked and she also didn't want to see his expression when she showed hers.

"Louisa! There's no point in you not looking. "

With her eyes still closed she answered. "I know…it's just so….I don't'… I can't bear to look!"

"I really think you should. You might be surprised"

What he said, made Louisa respond immediately, and when she looked she saw that she and Martin both picked the same house! The last one the realtor showed them.

"I can't believe it! You want this house?" Louisa was gobsmacked. She really thought Martin would pick the house he preferred when they first looked at the pictures, and she really did not like that house very much. She thought they would never agree on the same house.

"Yes. It seems adequate."

"Just adequate? I simply love it. I love the kitchen, the yard, the fireplace, the view from the bedroom. I was already picturing us in there, on a stormy night, cuddling next to each other. I can see James playing in the backyard with his friends when he's bigger. That is the house I want to grow old in…with you. For me it's not just adequate, it's perfect. "

Martin moved closer to Louisa and looked deep into her eyes. "Louisa, any house would have been perfect for me, as long as you and James are there with me. But this house also gave me a clear view of our future together. I also saw James playing in the yard, safely close to us. I also imagined us in that bedroom, for me it was a warm summers evening. And yes, I can also see us grow old together in that house." He stretched himself, reached across the table and kissed her tenderly. "Yes, perfect is the right word."

"O Martin. I am so happy right now! And this table is in the way - again! When we move, we might want to …let it disappear" She laughed, stood up, walked around the table and dropped into Martin's lap.

"It looks like your tactics worked Dr Ellingham. You got me to choose the house you wanted."

"But I thought you just said you liked the house as well" Martin was again very confused.

"OH Shut up and kiss me Martin." He obediently did as he was told!

After he obeyed his wife's wishes, he felt it necessary to discuss something else as well.

He looked at her while she still sat on his lap, reaching to wipe away a stubborn piece of hair that would not stay put. "Louisa, I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"I asked Ruth to help me find a psychologist – again – to help me with my…personal problems. I didn't have the time yet to call, with everything happening lately, but I will make a point of it."

Louisa looked at him with a grin and he could not grasp why she thought it was amusing.

"Well, I went to Ruth as well, with the same request and she also handed me the number of one of her colleagues. I am glad we both see the fact that we need some…work done. It gives me hope for us Martin. I must say that things were a lot better lately, but I am afraid for the next big fight or disagreement. We both need a bit of sorting out. I will make a point of calling this coming week. It's time we get our puzzle pieces sorted so that things can start falling into place, right?"

"You don't need to do this Louisa; there is nothing … wrong with you. I don't want you to change." Martin felt that he needed to reassure Louisa that the problems they experienced in the past, were his fault. She needn't put herself through something dreadful like that.

"I really do think we both need to sort out things that are holding us back and to adjust our point of view, see things not only from our own perspective, but though the eyes of the ones we love. And you're wrong; I really do need to make some changes. I think it would be beneficial for both of us." She hopes he could see that she was just as serious as he was in making sure they moved forward in their life together.

He had no answer to that; he could only give a good solid hug.


	14. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The following Monday Martin called his solicitor to advise him that they intended to buy a house. He also informed him that he should release some of his investments so that they would have the money available for the purchase as well as some renovations and new furniture. Martin called Mr Jenkins to inform him which house they wanted to buy, so that he could take it off the market. They didn't want to lose it. He informed Mr Jenkins that it might take one or 2 weeks for his investments to be released. But if he wanted to he could start working on the paperwork so long.

The next 2 weeks flew by with their busy schedules and before they knew it, Martin's solicitor contacted him to say that his investment money was released and that they should meet to set up the paperwork for the house. He made an appointment to meet the next Friday.

"Louisa, would you be able to get off school on Friday?" Martin asked Louisa the same night whilst sitting on the couch together, he was reading a journal, she was watching something on the telly.

"Why?"

"My solicitor called today to advise that the funds are now available for the house and such, so we booked an appointment for Friday at 14:30. We need to go check and sign the contracts."

"O, all right. But I don't really see why I should be there for the contract? You will be buying the house; I am not contributing anything, so why should I be there?"

"You are wrong. _We_ are buying the house, regardless of whose money is paying for it, both our names will appear on the contract, it will never be just my house, it's ours. I also want to draw up a will. I thought you might want to do the same."

Louisa looked up at Martin…her eyes were glistening with tears. "Thank you Martin. And yes, I guess I should get a will set up, with White Rose Cottage and all, right."

"Yes, so will you…be able to get off on Friday?

"I will put in a request for a leave day."

"I was thinking …."

"Yeah?"

"I know you don't like London, but I thought we might book in at a hotel and stay the night. It's quite the journey from here to there, and to travel back straight afterwards will be exhausting!"

"Oh, right." Louisa was troubling her lip with her teeth. After a minute or so she said. "I think London will be…better this time. I'd love to go."

"I was also thinking that maybe we should ask Ruth if she'd take care of James for the one night. It is quite a long drive on Friday, and a night without his normal routine and then a long drive back. I don't want him to be fuzzy and cranky for 2 days. It's unnecessary to put him through all that. We can drive back early Saturday morning."

"You are probably right. I will miss him though. The last time the 3 of us went away together, was fantastic."

"Yes, it was, but then we were relaxed, with nothing else to do than keep each other company. This weekend will be nothing like that. It's business."

"You're right. Fine, will you ask Ruth?"

"Yes"

Martin called Ruth during the next morning, and she said it was fine; she'll take James for the night. Martin asked if she would mind to stay at the surgery for that night. That way James wouldn't feel uneasy with his surroundings. There was a bed in James's room, so she could sleep there if she wouldn't mind. Ruth said it would be all right.

Louisa was also able to get the day off work, and Martin, with the help of Morwenna were able to reschedule his Friday appointments for later. Martin also booked accommodation for him and Louisa. So within a flash everything was arranged for their trip to London.

Friday came soon as the week flew by. Louisa made sure everything for James was sorted and that her clothes were packed. She woke up feeling very dizzy and nearly fainted when she got out of the shower. Maybe the shower was a bit too hot. She had no time to fuss about it, brushed it off and hurried to finish and by 07:30 they were on the road, as per Martin's tightly worked out schedule. If all went well, they would arrive in London by lunch time. The trip was uneventful, and at 12:48 they drove into London's busy streets. Martin expertly guided them through the traffic and they arrived at the solicitor's office at 13:10.

"It's too early for our appointment. There is a nice restaurant close by that served a decent selection of healthy lunches. We can have lunch before our appointment." It was not really a question.

"Sounds great" Louisa could feel that this was Martin's playground. He knew every street and corner. She could see how confident he looked while they walked to the restaurant. It was as if he stood taller! She on the other hand, felt…lost. Even though she lived in London in her university days, she felt totally out of place. She didn't like the hustle of the big city! She was a country girl, through and through! And she knew that it was her last London experience that cemented that feeling. She never wanted to relive those horrible six months, spend mostly crying and hanging over a toilet bowl. Horrible time that was!

They reached the restaurant and were escorted to a window table. The waiter brought them each a glass of water and gave them a minute to settle and took their orders.

Martin looked outside the window at everything that was truly London. The endless amounts of emotionless people on the sidewalks. The traffic that's never-ending. The coldness of the city. This was his territory. This is where he wanted to come back to, familiar grounds. But somehow, it seemed…unfamiliar. Everything he valued as assets to the city, seemed pointless now. When did his point of view change? Is that how he really felt? He looked over at Louisa, who was also staring into the nothingness of London. It was her…she's the reason for his change of heart. She and that little precious boy! They came here today to set their future on a specific course. It almost felt like it is the first day of their lives. At that moment she looked at him and gave him a shy smile.

"Do you miss it terribly?" Her voice sounded sad.

"What?"

"London, do you miss it?"

Martin took quite a while before he answered her. "For a long time I did. In London you can be…invisible. You can walk the streets and not be greeted by any one, not so much as a nod. Everyone gets on with their business. I was born and raised in London, I fitted in here. And off course I was a surgeon here. I really do miss being a surgeon; I was really good at it. I loved the challenges of difficult cases…and the respect people had for me … the technicians, registrars, other doctors, the nurses…but mostly the patients and their families. When I spoke, people listened, and acted immediately. Maybe I got arrogant. Maybe being struck by haemophobia was my punishment to bring me back to earth, to remind me that I am only human too. But, it's hard not doing the only thing you are good at." Martin took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know you are very passionate about teaching. What would you do if you could not teach anymore, but were forced to work at a school only as a cleaner or a secretary? Even though you know you are the best teacher in all of England."

Louisa was dumbfounded with what Martin said…about his life in London, but also by the question he'd thrown at her.

"Uhm, I cannot even imagine! I think I would be devastated. I love my work" More than that she could not get out. This was news to her. Martin never spoke about his feelings when it came to his work … she never knew just how hard he was hit by his phobia. Damn, it must have been terrible; it probably still IS. Why have he never told her all of this. The last couple of weeks she heard more about the real Martin Ellingham than she had in all the years she knew him. She understands so much better. The way he treats people, the reason he gets annoyed and frustrated by his patients. He lost a lot…control, respect and his worth. Not being a surgeon is equal to being a failure in his eyes. He honestly believes that he was _just_ good at that. But he is so wrong. Wherever he goes, people talk about the great _doctor_ he is. Diagnostician - that's what they call it. How will she be able to change his perspective about being a GP? Will he always miss London and his past life…? Would he ever be happy in Portwenn? They were to buy a house…he had to be sure! She had to be sure.

She was still fighting with all of the questions in her head when Martin spoke again softly and looked straight into her eyes.

"Even though I used to miss London, lately I can't find that many reasons to miss it anymore. My work used to consume my whole life, but that changed since you and James are in it." He reached over and took one of Louisa's hands and wrapped it in his. "Portwenn will be my home as you are my home…"

Louisa's eyes were filling up and she had a huge lump in her throat. She quickly looked away before Martin could declare her _emotional_ again while a lonely tear rolled across her face. She _did_ feel emotional these last couple of days. And the unsteady feeling on the pit of her stomach also persisted since that morning! Maybe it's the house thing and the fact that they would finally live as a family. She felt Martin's hand still cupping hers and when she looked back at him, she saw he was concerned.

"Everything all right?"

"Yes Martin, it will be" She gave him a reassuring smile and wiped away the stain left on her cheek, just as their food arrived.

They ate in silence, both engaged in their own thoughts.

At quarter past 2 Martin asked for the check, paid and they were heading for the solicitor's office.

Mr Winston was a short, round man. He had a sturdy face, not a lot of hair. He did not seem like the social type as he never gave any one of them a hint of a smile. Louisa could see why he was Martin's solicitor, two peas in a pod.

He firstly presented Martin with all the paperwork for his investments. Martin took his time to read through it. Then he signed off a couple of papers, and that was that. Next were the contracts for the house. When he handed Louisa her copy, she felt overwhelmed. Her name, Louisa Ellingham, together with Martin's name stood there on the first page under "owners". Even though she was the proud owner of a Cottage in her name, this was different. It made her feel excited and also nervous. It's a big step, but she was certain it was the right one. She shrugged off the invisible doubt that was resting on her shoulder and was about ready to divert her attention back to the two talking men when she saw the price on the contract. That was a lot of money! The house she and Martin chose were really expensive, funny how she never thought about the price till now. She, who always made sure about money matters as she never had is easy. How could she allow Martin to pay that much money, alone, for a house they would both be the owners off?

She was staring at the papers for quite a while before she realised that both men were looking at her strangely.

"Martin, could I please have a word?"

Martin looked at Louisa with a bit of irritation. "Louisa, can't it wait. We are in the middle of an appointment if you haven't noticed?"

"No, I need to speak to you now! I am sure Mr Winston will allow us 5 minutes?" She looked over to the roundish man, and gave him her sweetest smile. Martin knew that smile could melt any man on the face of this earth! He just lost.

"Off course, I'll leave you to it" and with that he got up and walked out of his office.

"Well?" Irritation was clear in the way he spoke, moved.

Louisa felt a bit uneasy but decided she cannot let this go on. "Somehow I managed to overlook the price of this house. I simply cannot allow you to buy the house without any help from my side! I won't let you spend such a huge amount of money that you nearly spend a lifetime obtaining by way of saving and careful investing. So we either find a way for me to contribute or we would have to adjust the contract and take out my name, it would not be fair."

"What? Are you serious Louisa? We talked about this before. We agreed that this is the way we would do it." Martin could not believe it!

"Yes, and I am sorry Martin, but due to my own stupidity, something I would actually never have done in the past, I somehow manage to overlook the price! I don't know how I missed that part as I am normally quite observant when it comes to money! But, there is no way 'round it. So what's it gonna be, hm?" Louisa cocked her head sideways and had a determined look about her!

Martin was simply speechless. He ran his hand across his face and looked utterly defeated. He stared at a spot on the ground as to not look at Louisa. This woman simply had a way to obliterate him. And her timing was way off. They drove all this way, had all the paperwork ready, only for her to change her mind at the last minute! He thought they settled it after he told her with no uncertainty why he wanted, no his words were, _needed_ to buy the house. She is too stubborn at times and mostly he simply doesn't have the antidote against her ways of reasoning. What was he supposed to say, do?

"I told you why I wanted to buy you and James the house. If…" Martin took a big breath and let it out slowly "if that is how you still feel…I have nothing I can say to change your mind. Then this trip was pointless as I am _not_ changing the contract"

When he looked up Louisa saw that his eyes were red-rimmed and tears were welling up. It shocked Louisa to her core as she expected anger, harsh words, even a proper row … but not this. She did not realise that Martin had really deep emotions about buying this house. It was clearly more than just a pile of bricks…and he did not care at all about the money!

"O, I am sorry Martin! I didn't mean to hurt you in any way." She rushed over, and wrapped her arms around him. "Sometimes my own stubbornness gets in the way. I just suddenly felt totally overwhelmed by all of this, and …well I guess I … am sorry. Let's just forget about it. Call Mr Winston back and let's get this formalities out of the way." She stepped back and Martin straightened himself and took a moment to get back to 'normal'. He went to the door and Mr Winston was invited back into his own office.

They went through every section of the contract in detail. Martin had a question here and there, but overall the whole thing went quite smoothly. At the end they were both asked to sign the papers. Sign there and there. Done! They just bought a house!

After those paperwork were finished, the solicitor said that they needed to discuss their will.

Louisa stood up and said. "I need to use the bathroom. And I prefer not to be present when Martin discusses his will. Please call me when it's my turn. I will wait outside."

Martin was truly baffled by this. "It's really not necessary Louisa; I don't mind you hearing anything that's in there. It would be straight forward." Louisa was really acting odd today.

"Martin, it's not what will be written in it that will upset me, it would be the reason why you are writing it that is unbearable. I know we are not immortal but I don't want to think of the day I might hear what's in it. I can't bear it! I'll go visit the bathroom and wonder around. Just call me when I can come for mine."

Martin and Mr Winston could only watch as she swiftly left the office.

Louisa had to keep herself busy as the men were busy inside the office. She called the school to ask how things were. She also called Ruth and were assured that James were fine. She even had a small talk with him over the phone, much to the amusement of the office secretary who was and elderly woman.

Then she was called in. Mr Winston directed her to her chair, and Martin opted to also give her some privacy. She felt it was not necessary as she only had the one thing that was to be in her will, White Rose Cottage, and that would go to James Henry. However, Martin already left. Mr Winston asked her a couple of standard questions, and with a quick signature here and there, it was done. And all of this was over and done. She felt relieved as this was not her sort of thing. Martin came back into the office, and together they thanked Mr Winston and left.

When they arrived back at their car, it was already a quarter past four. It took nearly 2 hours to sort out everything! They both felt a little…tired. Martin drove through the traffic of London like only a true City man can. Louisa realised they were probably on their way to their hotel. She didn't even ask where they'd be staying. She knew Martin would be familiar with all the hotels and would pick a suitable one. After a mere 15 minute drive, they arrived at …the _**Rosewood Hotel!**_


	15. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Louisa was speechless. Why in the world would Martin book this hotel? It was…exclusive and extremely pricy! There was no need to do this!

"This can't be where we are staying, Martin?"

"Why not, don't you like it?" Martin looked a bit disappointed as he thought Louisa would like this hotel. It had very high recommendations and excellent reviews.

"I would not be able to tell you if I liked it, as I never set foot in such a posh hotel. This is too over the top, you should have booked us at a simpler, less expensive hotel."

Martin looked at her in disbelieve. "I thought …I could treat you tonight. It would be like a celebration of what we achieved today. I apologize if this is not what you wanted. Unfortunately, we can't really cancel the booking." Martin looked at the building and his eyes were sad. How did he get this wrong again?

"Martin, I would Love to spend the evening in this hotel with you, I just never expected it! This is the kind of place me and Holly always dreamt of in our uni days. We would walk past it at least once a month, and dreamt of how the perfect gentleman would take our hand and lead us through those doors. I could never have imagined that my dreams would come true! You are astonishing! And this is amazing! Now, Doctor Ellingham, please could you take my hand and make my student dreams come true!"

Martin let out a huge sigh of relieve. When they got out of the car, a valet was standing ready to take away their car and took their luggage to their room. From the moment they entered this exclusively fantastic hotel, Louisa was amazed at how extremely modern it looked. The outside told you nothing of what the inside was hiding! Money ruled this hotel. Martin handled the booking confirmation and within 5 minutes they were heading upstairs. When Martin opened up the door to their room, Louisa was speechless. As she was from the moment she entered the Rosewood Hotel.

The room was very spacious, but it was filled with the right type if furniture to make it look cosy! Everything was white and sort of greenish, even the floor white and green stripes, but it looked magnificent. To the right was the bed. If you can even call it a bed, more like 3 beds put together, that's how big it was. Right across from the door were very big open windows with some truly spectacular views. To the left was the bathroom! Again – Huge, Italian Marble, black and white. It had a beautiful walk in shower, big enough to fit in 4 people at once.

"Gosh Martin, this is amazing! If you'd told me in my uni days that one day I would spend a night here, with a very handsome man, I would have called you a liar to your face. This feels like a dream."

"We have a dinner reservation at the Mirror Room restaurant downstairs at six I read the reviews, it's seems satisfactory."

"O you're hopeless! Off course it will be _satisfactory._ I am sure they will have only the most qualified chefs in all of England! I am definitely looking forward to dinner." Suddenly Louisa stopped dead in her tracks. "O No, I…I…"

Martin looked over at Louisa when she started to stutter. She looked …petrified!

"What's wrong? Do you feel ill?"

Louisa looked at Martin and he realised that she looked angry.

"You should have told me we were coming to such a posh hotel. Not that any of my clothes in my wardrobe would have been good enough, but at least I could have tried to pack my best dress. I did not came prepared for dinner at the Mirror Room Restaurant, Mar-TIN. I only brought an extra set of clothing for our return tomorrow! I simply don't have anything to wear. _You_ can go to dinner by yourself, Mr- Always-Prepared-with-his-Perfect-suits." Her eyes were now swirling pools of fire!

"I am Sorry Louisa! I did not think about it. You always look good in everything you wear! What you are wearing now, looks perfect. You always do". Martin tried his best to remain calm and in control. He tried keeping his voice low and spoke soft, maybe it would calm her down. He did not want this evening to turn into a huge row over nothing. He had better plans for the evening.

"You…you really think I _always_ look good?" There was a little less fire in her eyes.

"Yes"

"Thank you Martin, that's sweet of you. But still…I would never feel comfortable going to dinner in this. It's just…No" She turned around and walked to the bathroom.

A second later she heard the door open and shut quickly.

Well, that's that then. Martin probably wasn't in the mood for all of this bickering over clothes. Surely he will go to dinner alone.

10 minutes later, while Louisa was standing in front of the window, she heard the door open. Martin walked in followed by a very sophisticated looking women with a running rail.

"Louisa, this I Miss Wilson from…

"It's Miss Walker", the woman interrupted Martin

He looked at her in surprise, but continued. "Right, Miss Walker. She is here to assist you in finding a dress for dinner tonight. I will wait downstairs until half 5. I will also need to come and take a shower to be ready at six." Then he turned around and left, just like that.

Louisa was still standing like a statue in front of the window, he mouth hanging open.

"Let's get to work Miss Louisa. We don't have a lot of time at all. Your gentlemen friend looks like the type that will be back at exactly half 5. Now come and have a look dear, what style do you prefer?"

"Where did Martin find you?"

"O, this Hotel -as many others in the City - has us on call for emergency situations like this. We offer our services in providing dresses and suits where it was …forgotten by the guests. The Hotel compensates us well for our services. Now let's not diddle."

For the next couple of minutes Miss Walker helped Louisa, and in no time, she found the perfect "little black number". It was tight fitted around the breast, but from the waist it clocked out to a loose fit and reached only her knees, but looked fabulous! It was as if it was made especially for her.

"I think this is the one" Louisa looked herself over in the wall mirror and liked what she saw.

"Perfect! You look stunning! Now, let's quickly see what we can do about shoes." From the bottom drawer she pulled out a nice pair of black wedged shoes that complimented the dress nicely.

"There we go Miss Louisa! I think we have you all sorted for your dinner date. And we even have time to spare!"

"Yes, I am glad we got it sorted so quickly. Martin can be a real pain when it comes to being punctual. Thank you so much Miss Walker. You are truly a lifesaver. Now maybe I can get in a quick shower before my dear husband returns."

"He's your…Husband?" Miss Walker had a confused look on her face.

"Yes" Louisa said while a smile broke on her face. "Did you think we were some form of lovers meetin' up for a wild weekend?" Louisa was teasing Miss Walker a little, but was silenced by what the woman said next.

"Yes. We see all sorts all the time. When I saw your … husband, I thought it was a classic case. When I saw you, I was dead sure that it was a weekend romance. Your being such a looker and he…well he's quite… I am really sorry though for my mistake. Please accept my apology. That will teach me to make assumptions."

"It's fine Miss Walker. Don't worry about it. Martin just did not think to inform me that the hotel we were booked in were the Rosewood Hotel, so I did not come quite prepared for it at all. I gave him quite a hard time 'bout it and that's when he stormed out and found you. Thank you once again, but I really need to get to that shower first before Martin gets here or I will be late."

After Miss Walker and her rail of wonder left the room, Louisa sprinted to the shower and washed profusely! Just as she stepped out of the shower, she heard Martin coming in. She wrapped herself in the large bath towel and stepped into the room.

"Thank you Martin…for Miss Walker. And sorry about earlier. I feel a lot better going to dinner with you in a dress that will be suitable for the evening!" She tiptoed to give him a kiss on the cheek. He liked those.

"You good then?"

"Yes, everything is good, Thanks"

Martin quickly stepped in the shower as Louisa dried her hair.

When Martin came out, Louisa asked if he was done as she would like to finish in the bathroom.

"Yes, I am done. Please remember that our reservation is for 6 o'clock."

At 17:45 Martin called on Louisa to ask if she was ready. "No", came the answer.

At 17:50 Martin called again, "Almost, just the shoes", was the answer.

At 17:55 Louisa walked out of the bathroom. She looked simply divine!

"You look…" Martin swallowed hard. …Extremely beautiful."

"Thanks to _you_ , but thank you for the compliment. Now let's go, I can't wait for dinner."

Martin felt a flutter in his stomach when he took Louisa's hand – much to her surprise – and walked through the halls to the restaurant. He was really proud to be accompanied by such a beautiful woman.

The restaurant was really nice. The food and wine selections were top nudge. Martin decided to have grilled sole and vegetables. He made it very clear that he wanted it prepared healthy. No fats and oils added. Louisa was struggling to decide among the many options available. She didn't know what to pick, except that it would be anything but fish. She finally decided on an oxtail stew served on a bed of rice, with a side salad.

Martin ordered her a glass of wine, and his usual glass of water. She did not know which brand it was, but it was fantastic. They more or less had a quiet dinner, but tonight Louisa did not really mind as she was just drinking in everything this Hotel was offering. She just loved it! She watched other couples, saw lots of business dinners, even one or two lonesome guys enjoying their dinner. This was a side of London never seen by her. People that came here, were not her type of people. Money was way too obvious in their behaviour. Yet, here she was, the wife of someone who might have grown up to think places like these were…normal. Louisa knew Martin's parents were wealthy when he grew up, and after he became a doctor, he was also used to certain standards of living. It must have been really hard for him to have accepted the "standards" of Portwenn, which was not very high.

"Have you stayed here many times before, Martin?" Louisa broke the silence.

"Only once before." He did not elaborate.

"Right. Care to say when … with who?" Louisa was a bit irritated that she always had to drag things from Martin.

"I stayed here 7 years ago – alone. I was booked for a lecture that was scheduled at the hospital. I told them I had a flat in London, but they said ALL the speakers were booked in and therefore I must stay here."

"O that sounds a bit unnecessary. They wasted a good lot of money."

"Yes, that's exactly what I told them. But no one ever listens. That evening the manager of the hotel had an unfortunate accident, and luckily I was able to assist in a medical emergency. He was very grateful and since then I had a … standing invitation for free accommodation at any time no matter when. I thought you might enjoy it here and took up the offer."

They were both quiet for a long time, but then Martin said: "I wanted tonight to be special, for just the two of us. We never had a proper wedding night or honeymoon. Today we took a distinctive step towards our future, and I felt as if it was the first day of the rest of our lives. I wanted to stay here with you tonight. To commemorate it"

Where did this come from? Martin sure is…different today. She saw many sides of him throughout the day! Her eyes filled up again, and she swallowed hard to keep her emotions intact. "It's really a great place. The room is exquisite, and the food was fantastic. I really enjoyed your surprise Martin. Thanks for that."

"I thought about watching a show at a theatre tonight but could not find a suitable showing. Sorry, I guess we will have an early night then. We have to wake up early in any case as we promised Ruth we wouldn't be home too late. And it is a long drive back."

"O, we'll see…." Louisa just smiled at Martin when he looked at her with raised eyebrows.

They spend quite a long time in the dining room as Louisa wanted to _thoroughly enjoy_ her dinner and even had some desert. "Since we have nothing else planned for the night, we might as well enjoy this place to the fullest." She was sipping on a glass of wine, just taking it all in.

Close to nine, they entered their room.

Louisa walked over towards the window and took off her shoes as she walked…leaving them scattered. Martin sighed loudly and went to pick them up and put it neatly in the closet.

Louisa was staring out the window, the curtains open and a nice breeze was blowing in through the open window. She had a clear view of London! The traffic below that never seemed to stop, people on the sidewalks were like ants constantly moving. She cannot believe that it's nearly 9 but the world below did not take a moment to breath. The noises outside were overwhelming. It's just car engines and horns. Very different than Portwenn where the streets were dead quiet and the town was at peace by nine. She really loved Portwenn. And today she sealed a lifelong deal with it! She felt quite emotional about it. It's a big deal. She was to raise her child there, grow old with Martin in that house. It's everything she'd ever wanted. She felt truly happy. She just need to sort out herself. She should not forget to call the therapist Ruth recommended, she have to make this marriage work, no more running. She thought back at all the wasted years between her and Martin. There were far too many misunderstandings, too many interruptions. Truly wasted time.

She was brought back to reality when Martin's arms circled her waist. She was so lost in thought, she did not realise how long she was standing in front of the window. Must have been quite a while as Martin seemed to have taken a shower again - he smelled wonderful. He must have turned off the lights as well as it was dark in their room, only the moonlight was shining on them. He kissed her neck and it made her all tingly. Martin was clearly making the first move. Now this is progress, Louisa thought!

She felt him working on the back of her dress, unzipping it very slowly. He pulled the dress from her shoulders and started kissing it softly. She barely moved, as tonight, it was his show. He tucked at her dress and in one move, it just fell to the floor. She felt him kissing her neck, her shoulders and her back. His skilled fingers had her bra loose in a second. He slowly turned her around, and she saw that he was only standing in his boxers. When he took her in his arms and kissed her, all the hustle and bustle outside were silenced. She was just aware of him, his magnificent body, his wonderful kisses and magical hands. He picked her up high and just held her close for a moment or two, kissing her cleavage before he walked to the bed and placed her down softy. Martin has always been an attentive lover, but he was even more passionate in everything single thing he did. His kisses were intense, sometimes hard as it bruised her lips. His hands were touching everywhere, exploring every single part of her body. She just let him do whatever he wanted. When they finally made love she could feel the intensity in every move. With the moon shining in through the Rosewood windows, and the stars as witnesses, they sealed their love and lifelong commitment to one another, yet again.


	16. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

The next morning Martin woke up to a dreadful noise. He reached over to feel Louisa but her spot was empty. He then realised that the noise came from the bathroom. He rushed to find Louisa lurking over the toilet, retching. He reached over and got hold of her hair and held it back for her, but nothing came out.

"Please Martin, go back to bed. I don't want you to see me like this."

"Shush" he said while reaching over for a hairband he saw next to the basin. He tied her hair and then filled a glass with water and gave it to her. She took two sips before handing the water back to Martin. She got up as Martin turned back to her, and just in time he grabbed her, as she fainted! He picked her up and carried her to the bed. He took her wrist in his hand and took her pulse. It was a bit weaker than it should be. He walked to the bathroom and took one of the hand towels, hold it under the cold water and went back to Louisa. He tapped her face with the towel, and she came to.

"Louisa, how are you feeling? Does it hurt somewhere?"

"Uhm, no, sorry Martin. I just woke up feeling extremely nauseous and when I stood up from the toilet I felt all dizzy. I am sorry if I caused you any worry. I'm fine now." She pushed herself up and sat up straight in the bed.

"Can I get you anything? More water?" Martin's voice was soft and full of concern.

"No, Really, I am fine. Maybe it's something I ate last night, or even the anaemia returning"

Martin looked at her with expert eyes and could see she was avoiding eye contact.

"When did these symptoms start…and please don't lie and tell me it's nothing."

Louisa looked up into Martin's eyes, and said. "Martin, I am fine, please don't-"

"And I asked you not to lie" he interrupted her. "Now, when did it start…and you better tell me everything."

Louisa gave a loud sigh and said. "I felt a bit off lately. Sometimes I feel nauseous and once before I was dizzy, but it comes and goes. It happened once or twice in the last 2 weeks or so...I never actually vomit, it only feels like I want to. Maybe I just have a stomach bug, but I am sure it's not serious. Please don't make a big deal about it."

"Right, a stomach bug brewing very slowly for 2 weeks that makes you dizzy and faint. I am sure you would know, Right _DR_ Ellingham?" Martin cocked his head to the right and raised his eyebrows when he said that to Louisa. "When we get back to Portwenn, I want you in the surgery immediately. I would like to run blood works and do a proper blood sugar and blood pressure test. There are a couple of possible answers; I want to be sure to cover every one. If its Anaemia again, we need to re assess your medication. For now, I want you to lie back while I order in some breakfast. I am sorry, but toast and tea seems like the only breakfast you should have. Maybe a bit of orange juice if you can stomach it."

"Thank you Martin."

He turned to go and call the reception, but Louisa's voice stopped him.

"Martin…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you…uhm," her bottom lip was being severely damaged by her teeth. "For…holding my hair, even though I did not… That was very sweet of you." She gave him a shy smile.

"Hmm" was the only response she received while he ducked his head and turned on his heels to call reception.

She lay back on the pillows and heard Martin talk on the phone. It felt as if she just closed her eyes, when she felt Martin lightly shaking her arm.

"Here you go, your toast and tea. I think it'd be good if you try to eat something"

"Thank you." She looked around but could see only one tray. "Where is your breakfast, aren't you having some?"

"I…left mine over at the door. Ordered some eggs and soldiers and coffee, and was not sure how it would make you feel. I will eat when you go for a shower after breakfast."

"That is not necessary, I told you I am fine." Louisa started to eat her toast and took small sips of the lovely tea. It was really good and she must say she felt a bit better. Maybe it was low blood sugar.

She only realised after a couple of minutes that Martin sat at the corner of the bed, staring at her intensely. She started feeling a bit like the time they first met…on the plane. He was giving her the same stare.

"Wot?" Her eyebrows raised.

Martin cleared his throat, a clear sign that he felt a bit uncomfortable and let out a deep breath.

"Louisa, can I ask you a question – medical - without you getting … upset?"

"Depends." She was weary of what Martin's question will be.

"When last did you…have your… period?" He shifted uncomfortably in his spot and tried avoiding eye contact as much as possible. They have been intimate quite regularly the last couple of weeks, and he could not recall once where she was not able to…engage due to her monthly cycle.

"Oh" Louisa was bowled over by Martin's question, not really because he asked it, but because she actually had to really think hard to find an answer. She frowned.

"I … I… think it was just before you came home…I mean when you came back to stay at the surgery."

"So roughly 6 weeks ago? Is that acceptable to your standards? Are you often … late or irregular?"

"Actually…no, I am normally dead on schedule, especially after James was born. I cannot believe I haven't noticed it before. " Louisa started feeling uneasy as she clearly saw in which direction Martin was heading…and she was not sure if it could be true.

"Are you taking contraception of any form? The Pill? Anything?"

"I was so afraid of using anything whilst breast feeding James, heard too many stories you know, and after … we weren't exactly doing … anything…so…uhm…No"

Martin took her hands and lifted her chin so she could look him in the eye, he saw that she was biting her lip and she looked distressed.

"You know that there might be a possibility of a pregnancy?"

Tears started to form in Louisa's eyes and Martin's heart felt like breaking. He did not think that Louisa would feel sad about it. She always said she wanted to have lots of kids.

"You really think we could be pregnant…again?"

"It's a possibility. Reading the symptoms…"

"Oh Martin, that would simply be….Wonderful!" Tears flooded Louisa's cheeks.

"That would make you happy then?"

"Off course! Wouldn't you be?" She looked closely to try and read Martin's expression. His set features never changed, but his eyes always gave away what he felt. She learned how to read those eyes!

"Yes, I would be." Martin looked into Louisa's eyes and did not even blink. He hoped she could see that he was telling the truth.

Louisa pulled Martin close and gave him a long, soft kiss, then she said: "Well, if you are ready, I think we should head on home."

"Right"

Around one, the Lexus drove into Portwenn. When they arrived at home, Ruth was sitting at the kitchen table, with James in his playpen.

"Hello Ruth! It looked like you and James survived each other. Thank you so much for watching him. I really owe you." Louisa gave Ruth a hug and went to pick up James who was overjoyed to see his mommy.

"Hallo, Dear. James was a darling. We had no quarrels with one another. Hello Martin. Everything sorted?!"

"Yes… thank you for watching James. We appreciate it."

"Well if you two are all right, I am off to my own sanctuary for some well-deserved rest. James already had his lunch and will probably need his afternoon nap in about an hour."

"Thank you once again, Ruth. Martin, could you please get Ruth's overnight bag and walk her home?"

"Yes"

They spend the rest of the weekend relaxing at home, with their son. Martin watched Louisa like a hawk, but luckily she did not show any more symptoms and did not complain about nausea even though he asked her about ten times a day.

On Monday morning Martin told Louisa that he would like to draw some blood before both their schedules started so just after Janice arrived to start her working day, Louisa walked over to the surgery office with Martin. Morwenna would only arrive in about 15-20 minutes.

Martin took a blood sample from Louisa, and they were surprised by the way he handled it! He did not look away, or felt the need to vomit!

"So…would you also want to take a urine sample…pregnancy test?"

"Yea, let's do it."

Martin handed her the stick and she returned within a minute. They sat in silence while waiting for the minute to pass before the result would show. Martin looked at Louisa who was biting her lip and fumbling with her fingers. She looked quite nervous.

"This must be the longest minute of my life" Martin was also very nervous, but could hide away his feelings like no other can. He seemed dead calm.

"This is not so bad…at least you're here this time. Last time I was alone, far from home and heart broken. It was a very…emotional day for me."

Martin took her hands across the table. "I am sorry Louisa. Things were crap then. I would have given anything to be with you the first time." He looked truly sad.

"Things of the past, Right? Time's up, will you do the honours?"

Martin picked up the stick, looked at Louisa and said:

"It's …ahm…positive. It shows you're pregnant."

"WOT, are you serious Martin?"

"Yes, congratulations, you…ahm, we are pregnant". He stood up, walked around the table, picked up his wife, and hugged her tightly!

When he finally let her go, she saw that his eyes were red and teary.

"Are you fine with it Martin? Sorry, I once again kind off just sprung this on you. I must be very responsive and you must have very strong little swimmers as you can barely look at me and I am pregnant!" Louisa smiled up at Martin, who could only nod, unable to speak. She just walked closer again and hugged him around his waist as she rested her head against his chest.

After a minute or so, they finally broke away from each other.

"I would still like to send in your blood and run some test, just to be sure we cover everything. I will also write you a prescription for some antenatal vitamins. I think you should start taking them as soon as possible, preferably today. And I need you to-

"Stop Martin. Please. Give me time to digest the news first before you shower me with all the medical stuff …"

Martin pushed Louisa down into the chair and kneeled by her side. He took both her hands in his and due to his length, his eyes were almost level with hers. When he spoke she could hear the urgency in his voice.

"Louisa, the first time you were pregnant, you were not here for the first six months. And when you did come back, you refused any help from me. For a doctor that is extremely hard, but it's far worse for the father of that child. Please, let me help you, take care of you, and offer all the support I can with this pregnancy, please?" She looked down into two blue-grey pleading eyes and felt an ache in her heart. He was right. The first time was horrible, for them both. They would have a second chance to do this together, as husband and wife…as mother and father.

She leaned over and kissed him on his soft lips. "Sorry, you know I don't like all the fuss, but you're right. We have a change to make it better this time, so I gladly accept your support, care and …. Love this time around."

At that moment they heard the front door open and Morwenna coming in. Louisa stood up, kissed Martin deeply and left through to the kitchen, while Martin just stood there. He was still a bit shaken up by everything. Was he ready to be a father…of two kids? He loved James the instant he saw him and will forever. He must admit, being a father is not as bad as he thought. But two? And what if it's a girl? James is a boy. He sort off understand boys. A girl would be complicated. But a girl that looks like Louisa would be nice. She would have a special place in his heart he just knew it. Well, time will tell. For now, he would do anything poss _i_ ble to keep the mother happy and healthy.

On Thursday Mr Walker called to inform Martin that everything was sorted. The house was official theirs. He said the Realtor would stop by during the day to hand them the keys.

Since Martin was fully booked he called Mr Jenkins in between patients and asked him to leave the keys with Morwenna in a sealed envelope.

At half 5 Martin's final patient left and so did Morwenna. He found Louisa and James in the living room, playing on the floor.

"Hello James. Did you have a great day? Hallo Louisa, how was school? How are you feeling?" Martin picked up James and gave him a hug. He touched James' forehead with his fingers.

"School was good thanks, Martin, and I am also. Felt a bit queasy but it passed quickly. How was your day?"

"Fine." He stood there for a while. Then he asked: "Louisa, could you and James maybe take a stroll with me…?"

"Off course, that would be nice. Let me just get a jacket for James, as the wind is picking up."

"Right, I just want to go freshen a bit. We can leave in five."

Martin went upstairs, washed his hands and face, went to his closet and got out the video camera that wasn't used since their weekend at the cottage. He thought today might be a good day to use it again. In his left pocket were the keys to their new home.

When he went downstairs, mother and son were already waiting for him.

When they got to the road, Louisa turned right, but Martin said he would rather go uphill. Knowing him, Louisa thought he might just wanted to get away from the village. When they reached the top of the hill, Martin once again turned left instead of right and within a couple of minutes they stood in front of their new home. The previous owners have cleared out all their furniture and curtains by now, and the house was empty.

"Mr Walker called me today to inform me that we are officially the owners of this house and Mr Jenkins dropped of the keys. I thought we could come and have a look at our new home, with James Henry."

"O Martin, it wonderful. I am so happy. Let's go and see your new home James, you are going to love it! "

Martin handed Louisa the keys and she unlocked the door and walked in. Martin walked behind them, he had his camera in hand, but Louisa did not notice it yet, as she was talking to James and showing him around. She went in one room, out another and Martin followed them a few steps behind. She talked to James constantly and showed him everything. When they walked through the doors to the back yard, Louisa suddenly stopped and turned to face Martin. Her mouth were open to say something when she saw Martin holding the video camera.

"What's that?"

"A video camera, quite obvious."

"Since when do you have a cam recorder, Martin?

"Uhm, for a little while. Not so long." He felt a bit uneasy. He wanted to keep it hidden from her for longer, but now the cat's out of the bag. And it was originally bought to record memorable moments for James. This being one of them.

"Why did you not tell me you had it? I always wished I had one as James often do little things I wanted to capture."

"Well, this is actually for him. Sorry I did not tell you. I wanted to surprise you both one day, with a video of all James' great moments. So far I have two good ones."

"That's so thoughtful!"

"You can use it any time you want, Louisa. The more the better. Maybe when James is big we can give it to him as a present to show him how his childhood was."

"O, Gosh that is simply…amazing. That would be the best gift ever. You are wonderful Martin! Thank you." She and James walked over to Martin and gave him a big hug! This man has come such a long way. He is surprising her daily. And she liked it a lot.

They strolled through the house and only realised how big it was now that all the furniture was out.

"I am feeling a little unsettled at how big it is. Where ever will we find enough furniture to fill this house and make it feel homey?" Louisa was standing in the living room, with James in her arms, biting her lip.

"I told you when we discussed buying a house that I have extra money available for renovating and refurnishing. We need to give this house a nice do over, fresh paint, new furniture."

"O Martin, I am sure we don't have to repaint everything and we certainly don't have to buy _new_ furniture. Between us, we can fill certain spots in the house and in time we can fill her up."

Martin took Louisa's hand into his and she saw that his eyes were pleading. "Louisa, before we move into this house, I want to repaint every room, make sure all the electrical are double checked and ensure the plumbing is rechecked. I want you to pick the colours you want for each room, as my choice would just be white, as you know. Although there is a couple of rooms I would like to do, like the study and the kitchen, as I would have to live with it. I also want us to buy new furniture and electrical. Whatever we buy should be of great quality as we will only do this once. This will be… a fresh start. When we start living in this house, I want everything to be perfect. Please let me do it?"

Louisa was stunned. Martin really was serious about this. She never had the opportunity to pick colours and furniture for a house. When she bought White Rose Cottage, she had to live with what it had. There was no extra money to repaint. The pieces of furniture she owned now was what she collected throughout the years and mostly they were not newly bought, but second hand. She would love to redo their new house. It would be an absolute dream come true.

"I … that would be great Martin. I would like that very much" and with that she reached up and gave him a kiss, their first one in their new home!

Louisa took Martin's hand and walked upstairs. She led them to the smallest of the 3 rooms. When they were standing in the middle of the room she turned and said:

"I would love it if you could also work on this room, _with me_. I think this would be the nursery for the new baby. I would like it if we could decide on colours and things together for this room?" She looked at him with love and anticipation. Martin looked around the room and then looked at his stunning wife.

A muffled "Yes" was all he was able to get out, as he felt quite … emotional?


	17. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Louisa and Martin decided to keep their pregnancy quiet until there was absolutely no way to hide it anymore. That was actually Louisa's suggestion, which surprised Martin as he thought she would tell the world. Martin called and booked a scan for Louisa in 2 weeks in Truro. She will be approximately 8 weeks pregnant by then if their calculations and recollections were correct. Louisa's morning sickness also had a turn. No more retching. Every morning like clockwork, she would vomit once before breakfast. But luckily afterwards she felt better and was able to eat a decent breakfast and face the world, without anyone noticing any difference in behaviour.

Martin however, did some soul searching and self-reflecting since he found out that Louisa was pregnant! It was about six and a bit weeks since their weekend away and he's almost sure that was when the new baby was conceived. It was happy memories though - as were the ones when James was conceived. In the weeks following "the weekend" he and Louisa did try very hard to get along and mostly did. But there were still misunderstandings and here and there some rows that could have been avoided. He said he would go see a therapist and now six weeks passed and he did not do a thing about it. That's not like him. When he said he'd do something, he never goes back on his word. He decided that it was time to make the call…well actually two calls as Ruth advised him to see two and decide which one suits him best…if there will ever be a therapist that will suit Martin Ellingham.

Before he called, he went to "Google" both. Apparently that's the thing to do these days.

The first one was Dr Alan Tillerson. The screen said that he was a registered PH.D. Clinical Psychologist who preferred working with Adults, Elderly and Couples. He offered services in a practical and supportive professional manner for a wide variety of problems using scientific, evidence based assessments and treatments. Sounds fair, Martin thought. He had three degrees in psychology: BAHrs, MSc, and PhD and numerous merit awards. Preferred Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) because of its effectiveness to problems such as anxiety, depression, bipolar, insomnia, est. He also did research, teaching and clinical work in ER, OP and IP before going into private practice.

The second one was Dr Tammy Taylor. There was a picture of a woman, late thirties, maybe even forty with a bright smile. It did not list her credentials like the previous page did with Dr Tillerson. This page seems like Dr Taylor wrote a personal message, like talking directly to whoever was to read her page.

"If you find yourself struggling with the following symptoms, I can help: chronic worry, feeling stressed, overwhelmed and depressed. As a registered psychologist, I specialise in the treatment of mental health and addictive disorders. I treat individual adults as well as couples. I am goal driven and like to personally connect with my patients. Results are extremely important to me."

So Martin picked up the phone and dialled the first therapist on the card. After three rings the phone was answered by a deep voice. "Good morning, Alan speaking"

"This is Dr Ellingham. I am looking for Dr Tillerson"

"Dr Ellingham, Good Morning. I expected your call weeks ago. Ruth told me a bit about you and that she referred you to me. I am glad you called."

Martin could hear that the voice on the other side had authority, but was also deep and warm.

"Right. Will it be possible to make an appointment with you? It will only be a brief visit"

"Dr Ellingham, I've known Ruth for many years, and this would be a favour to _her_. I told her as much. I have given up practice, and only see one or two selected patients these days to keep me busy after retirement. I don't have an official office anymore; I see patients in my study at my house. So there are the facts about me. If you are willing to drive to Newquay, I would gladly accommodate you."

"Newquay. That would be fine. When?" Martin made calculations in his mind. Newquay was roughly 20 miles for Portwenn and close to Truro. It's quite a busy place in the summer. Lucky it's not summer.

"That's up to you. Like I said, I only see one or two selected patients; my time is more or less my own. When will you be able to find some time off?"

"Would Friday 16:00 suit you?" Martin thought he could ensure that Morwenna don't make any appointments after 15:00. That way he was sure to go to Newquay and back before 17:30.

"Perfect. I am looking forward to our meeting"

"Thank you"

Martin did not even call Dr Taylor. She seemed… un-suitable. Someone Louisa might find pleasant. Not that he suggest Louisa go to therapy.

X X X

On the Friday after they found out about the pregnancy and on the day of Martin's scheduled appointment with Dr Tillerson, Martin and Louisa were in the bathroom with what have now became a ritual every morning, Louisa hanging over the toilet bowl, Martin holding her hair.

"When have you started taking the Antenatal Vitamins I prescribed and do you normally take them with breakfast or lunch?" Martin wanted to check at what time Louisa took them, maybe they could adjust it; maybe it would help with the nausea. He did not like to see his wife like that. He felt somewhat responsible for her condition even though he knew it took two.

"Actually I did not collect them yet." Louisa felt drained and tired. It's not the best way to start your morning and she hoped it would get better soon.

"Louisa, it is vitally important to take those vitamins! I did not write a prescription for you to ignore. It is extremely irresponsible of you not to take them." Martin whole posture showed that he was appalled by Louisa's disregard in this matter. What was she thinking?

"I was just _not_ in the mood to face Mrs Tishell with a prescription for Antenatal Vitamins yet, Mar-tin! I know I should be taking them, but that woman would spread the news like a wild fire … and I just wanted to have a little more time you know, where _we_ are the only ones to know 'bout it! I just want this time to be a lot different from the first time, right?"

"Oh" Martin was actually quite surprised by this. "I could add it to my supplies that I was to collect at the Pharmacy today. I keep a steady supply of it in my cabinet, for patients, so it would not raise any suspicion if I were to add a bottle. Would that be helpful?"

Louisa stood up from the toilet bowl, rinses her mouth with mouthwash and went over to hug her sometimes clueless husband. "Yes, Dr Ellingham that will be most helpful."

"Uhm, Louisa, I just wanted to let you know that I will be driving to Newquay this afternoon. I have an appointment at 16:00."

Louisa found it odd that Martin would firstly inform her about an appointment with a patient and secondly that the appointment was in Newquay, way too far.

"Why would you have an appointment all the way in Newquay?"

"It's a …personal appointment. With Dr Tillerson - the Psychologist Ruth recommended"

Louisa, who collected some clothes to start her morning routine, turned to face Martin. He looked quite uncomfortable. She herself completely forgot about the therapist that Ruth recommended. It was quite busy lately. It was a surprise to her that Martin decided to make an appointment. Did he feel unhappy or pressured or …what? Why did he feel the need to call the professional now? She really thought they were getting along quite good the last couple of weeks. She felt panic rising.

"Why Martin? Did I do something wrong. I really thought… You know you can talk to me if you…" But she couldn't speak any more as she started to sob.

"Louisa! Why are you crying?" Martin walked over to his ever emotional wife and she tugged her face in his chest.

"Martin, I thought we were making progress. We haven't had a row in quite a while and I am really trying to understand your manners and bite my tongue. Is the pregnancy overwhelming you? Are you not happy? Why, Martin, Why do you need to go see a therapist NOW?"

Martin held Louisa at arm's length. He took his hanky out and whipped her tears.

"Louisa, please hear me when I say that I am happy. But, I am afraid. It has been going really good these last couple of weeks that much is true. But I am afraid I will mess it up again. We are to have a baby…again. We will soon move in to a house, be a family, with two children. I still feel anxious about it all from time to time. I need to get myself sorted. I cannot mess up again. There is just too much at stake. I never want to hurt you again. And I want to see my children happy. With that being said, I need to sort out whatever is holding me back. I realised that I must change. And I can only do it with help."

Louisa stared at Martin, while her sobbing became less. He wanted to go to therapy for…them. He was ready to endure something she knew he would hate, for his family. He already changed quite a bit. She liked all the positive changes he made these last couple of weeks, she could live with that.

"Oh, ok. I am sorry for the crying. Must be the hormones, right?" She gave him half a smile. "I did not stick to my promise either."

"What Promise?"

"I said I was also willing to go to therapy, but it was quite busy lately, wasn't it? I will also call…" Louisa turned away from Martin and started to get dressed.

"I did say that there is no reason why you should see a therapist. You are perfect."

Louisa had no comment on that, she just turned around after she got dressed and gave her husband a solid kiss.

X X X

On Friday at 15:10 Martin's Lexus was seen leaving Portwenn. He felt highly irritated as he left Portwenn later than he planned. There were two emergencies during the day that left him behind schedule somewhat, even though Morwenna only booked patients until 14:45. Luckily it was only 23 miles.

At 15:55 Martin pulled into to driveway of the address Dr Tillerman gave him. He knocked on the door and it was opened momentarily.

"Dr Ellingham, I presume?" He stuck out his hand and greeted Martin with a firm handshake. "Welcome, please do come in" Martin followed an elderly man, medium build, average height, grey hair with glasses. He was lead to a side door that opened into a study. There was a desk, two comfortable chairs facing each other, a sofa, a large window and a bookcase that was filled from top to bottom. In the corner was a small fridge and coffee table with kettle and cups. Against the wall were quite a lot of certificates in frames. It looked sufficient, neat and tidy.

Doctor Tillerson walked around the desk to the coffee tray and switched on the kettle. "Please, sit down…in any chair you want…even the sofa. Can I get you something to drink?"

Martin did not feel that this was a social call therefor there would be no time for beverages. "No thank you."

"I do prefer it when my patients start out with a nice cuppa to relax, I actually prefer it, so would it be coffee or tea." Doctor Tillerson already placed two cups and was ready to serve whatever Martin asked for.

"Uhm…I prefer espresso, and since I don't see any, I'd rather have tea. However, I am not yet your patient."

"Anyone entering through those doors is a patient whether they're here for 5 minutes or 5 months. I do have an espresso machine in my kitchen, I'll be sure to have some ready next time you come to visit. There we go, here is your tea. You can add sugar and milk if you need to, it's right over here." With that Dr Tillerson took his cup and walked to the desk and settled behind it. Martin just added some milk and went to sit on one of the chairs.

"Dr Ellingham, like I mentioned over the phone Ruth told me a little about you when she called me. We are old friends from our London days, but didn't see much of each other in the last decade. On occasion she referred some patients to me, and I used to call her when I myself needed some advice. She was surprised to find out that I retired. I decided to move to Newquay as my daughter and the grandkids live here. I lost my wife to cancer two years ago. I like to keep my brain active by taking on only one or two cases every now and again. I believe I have gathered much experience in my field after 45 years of doing it. So rest assure I know what I am doing."

"Right." Martin finished his tea and stood up to place the cup in the tray on the table. He went to sit in the chair again, not sure what to do next.

"I have told you about me a bit, so now tell me who Martin Ellingham is?"

"I am a retrained GP in Portwenn. I used to be a surgeon in London. I am married and have a son…and we are expecting again, my wife is almost seven weeks pregnant."

"So what seems to be the problem Dr Ell…would you mind if I called you Martin. My Name is Alan, and these days I feel a lot more relaxed if people called me that rather than Dr Tillerson. I don't want things to be too formal with us Martin. You can really just let it go while you're here."

Martin was not a person by any means to 'let it go' and always preferred to keep everything professional, but he must say that he felt…at ease from the moment he walked into this study. Dr Tillerson had a very easy way of talking and his voice was regular and soothing. His manner did not seem stilted in any way.

"Fine."

Dr Alan looked at Martin. One of those "clipped" ones, he thought. Ruth said her nephew was different than anyone he would have met. He thought he'd seen it all over the years. But he saw that the man across from him was …reserved, if that was the right word. Ruth gave him the background story, Big shot surgeon in London, struck by haemophobia, now stuck in a small village as a GP, but apparently that was not his biggest problems. He had a wife and child he loved very much and felt that he did not deserve. He struggled to cope with it all…marriage and fatherhood. He also mentioned that his childhood was not ideal. It sounded like an interesting enough case to take on.

"So Martin, tell me all about your life. You can start wherever you want to."

"Meaning? " Martin cocked his head as he did not clearly understand what the man wanted.

"I just want you to tell me about you. If you want to start at your childhood, then start there. But it's up to you. We have enough time for you to start wherever you want to."

"God no!"

"Why not? "

"Dr Tillerson.. uh, Alan. I need help, I can admit that much. I have a beautiful wife I mostly don't understand, and will be a father really soon to _two_ children which I am not sure I can handle. I am not good at being a husband, and I really want to be good at being a father. I came here today to see if you will be the one that will be able to help me. My childhood is something that should be left in the past as it has no positive impact on my future." Martin stood up and he was ready to leave. Maybe he really can't do therapy, he thought. He cannot talk... this will not do.

"You don't like talking, do you? Therapy is something – like marriage and being a father - that frightens you, right?"

Martin stopped at the door; his hand was already reaching for the door knob.

"Yes" he said without turning.

"Do you feel writing comes more easily than talking? Or can you completely not put your feelings into words?"

Martin turned around and saw that Dr Tillerman was still sitting at his desk. He didn't seem alarmed by the fact the Martin nearly left.

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes people just can't talk to _people_ but they know how to express their feelings, just not in one on one conversation. Sometimes the best way for them to communicate is by way of writing. Others are completely lost in relaying their feelings, not by words, nor by letter. So which is it?"

Martin was quiet for a couple of minutes, but did turn around and sat down on the chair again. When he spoke, his voice was softer than usual.

"Conversations leave me disabled. When I was younger, I used to write poetry, although I haven't written anything in a very long time. I think I am better at writing than talking. I know what I am feeling; it's just not easy saying it. But it also takes me a while to put words to the feelings I have. "

"That's good. At least you know where your weakest point lies. Today was just a meet and greet session. Making both of us decides whether we want to pursue this or not. Martin, I would like to try and help you. Will you let me try?"

"What do you have in mind?" Martin must admit to himself that he did not find Dr Alan vexatious. He had a calm manner and did not force any ideas or suggestions on him so far. Suddenly an image crossed his mind. Clear as daylight he saw Louisa standing in their kitchen, holding James in her arms, both with a huge smile on their faces…the same smile. It gave his heart a strong twitch or was it an ache? He let out a huge sigh. For those two… no three, he would see this through.

"I have some homework for you to do. I want you to go write me a letter about Martin Ellingham. I need you to write it as if you were telling someone the story or biography. I need you to include your earliest memories as a child; as far back as you can remember up until now. I expect it to be quite a lot of pages, as we all have numerous memories that get stuck in our minds. I need you to recall as much as you can. I think it might be good for you to take a bit of time, therefor we can make our meeting a solid two weeks from now, if possible for you?"

"That would be fine." Martin stood up and so did Dr Alan Tillerman.

"Thank you for giving me an opportunity to see if we can get you to a better state of mind, Martin. I am looking forward to our next visit" He walked Martin out to the front door, shook Martin's hand and closed the door.

When Martin got to his car, he got in but just sat there for a couple of minutes. His mind was a whirlpool. Was he ready to start therapy with Dr Alan? This was a lot different than when he tried curing his haemophobia. It is already clear in the homework he was given. He was not sure he liked what was asked of him. Also, where would he start? How do you write your life story? He took a big breath and released it slowly. He will give it a try. He simply had to. He took out his mobile and instantaneously decided to write Louisa a message.

"On my way home. See you soon. I Love you. Martin"


	18. Chapter 19

_A/N: Doc Martin and all his lovely characters belongs to Buffalo Pictures...I just played with them a bit until we can watch season 8!_

Chapter 19

Apart from the sickness every morning to remind her of the status of her body, Louisa had little time over the next two weeks to really think about the baby! Her mind was solely focussed on the new house. She visited the empty house almost every single day after school to plan what colours and furniture they would need to get. Martin arranged for a plumber and an electrician to have a look at everything and fix what needed fixing. Sometimes Martin walked with her to the house, but mostly she was lost in her own plans and ideas. She asked Martin to make sure he had a clear schedule for the day of her scan so that they could also go to a hardware and furniture store. She really wanted to get this done as soon as possible, before she really becomes unable to move freely and help with anything. She knew all too well that with this pregnancy, Martin would be watching her every single minute of every day. But she also had to admit it that would be a lot better than what she went through, especially the first six months of her first pregnancy. They both completely messed up things first time around.

So the night before her scheduled appointment in Truro, Louisa was sitting on the couch in the living room next to Martin.

She had a whole file filled with colour samples and furniture booklets and notes. She was showing Martin what she had planned for their room, James' room, the living room and the bathrooms.

"So what'd you think? I did not plan any colours for the study and kitchen, as you said that you would like to assist in those decisions. Also, we haven't discussed the nursery yet. And that extra room on the right side of the house. What is the plan there?" Louisa was very excited. She was talking non-stop, barely giving herself time to breath.

"I would like the study to be white and I think we could keep the colour of the kitchen, just give it a fresh coat. I thought of giving the downstairs room to you. Maybe you might like to furnish it and do whatever you need to. Uhm, you can use it when you have your friends over occasionally. That way you could have a room that would be just yours where you can retreat if you need to, your sanctuary, like I would have my study."

Louisa was really surprised by Martin's suggestion. That is actually a good idea, but she thought of another plan for it…well two depending on how life would turn out.

"That's a sweet suggestion Martin, I never thought about that. Quite brilliant actually." She leaned over and gave him a solid hug.

"But before we accept that plan, I had two other ideas. Firstly, we could always make it a play room for James, with all his toys and playpen and such. Oh, and obviously for the new baby as well. And when they grow older, we could upgrade it to what might be fit for the different stages of their development. The room could grow up with them, so to speak."

"Good. Your second suggestion?" Martin had to agree that Louisa's idea was not inadequate.

"Well, I thought me might keep it a bedroom as such, making it a guest bedroom for now, for times when Ruth would like to stay over. And maybe later, when she's not able to live alone any more, she could always come and stay here. The room is quite private and with its own bathroom and door entrance, it would be quite suitable. That way we - meaning you - could keep an eye on her, without her feeling she'd lost her privacy all together. It seems like she grew attached to our village."

Martin was once again surprised by his wives thoughtfulness and logical reasoning. Which just added to the thousand and one things he loved about her?

"Hm, I never thought about that"

"That's a bit hard, isn't it? One room, three possibilities. Never thought that room would be the hardest one to fill." Louisa was resting her head on Martin's shoulder. Her mind was working overtime. She felt really tired as the last 2 weeks were taking its toll on her. She went to sleep late at night, planning colours and things for their new house. Even though she loved every minute, she could feel that she may need to downscale a bit, as she suddenly felt extremely tired. She gave a huge yawn and cuddled under Martin's arm.

"You should really find more time to rest Louisa. You are clearly overdoing things. You don't have to rush things with the new house. We have all the time in the world to do what's needed."

"Oh, I know. But I really want us to move in as soon as possible before I become too pregnant to help with the move and such." Louisa gave a long yawn again, and slipped down to rest her head on Martin's lap.

"Right."

Martin let Louisa rest on his lap while he tried to read his journal. It was so nice to have her so close to him. He thought about the last couple of weeks and how remarkable it was. A lot of small changes happened, almost unnoticed. Like the way they controlled themselves to try and avoid difference in opinions and found ways to steer away from rows. It took a lot from both of them, but it was working. He felt more at ease lately as well. That might be as a result of that weekend when he told Louisa of his past. It was as if she understood better and he felt a burden lifted. He trusted her completely and that is also a big change on his side, as throughout his life, he never trusted anyone like that.

Buying the house was another significant change. It's a huge step for both of them, but he believed it was the best decision they made. They needed to have a place where they can be a family. That became clear to him on the weekend they spend away from the village. And off course there is also the love they share, more frequently these last couple of weeks than ever before. It has been the best change of all. He reached and touched her stomach. Just thinking of all the times she showed him how much she loved him, made him blush. Well, he managed to show her a couple of times too.

And now they were to have another baby. That is a big change, nothing small about that. He never thought that he would be a farther of two children. There were a lot of changes but there will also be a lot of changes in their future. He just hoped that he could handle whatever life throws at him and his beautiful wife. He brushed his hand across her face, and tucked away a lock of hair. God, he loved her.

He also thought about Dr Alan's homework. He did start, but found it hard to get things into the correct order. He kept remembering things and was not always sure about the timing. So now he was just writing things down as they came to mind. He already had a lot of pages and they were unorderly. It frustrated him a lot. It would take a lot of intense "editing" - if he could call it that - to get his story to flow correctly. Mostly it was also not nice remembering.

X X X

On Friday Martin closed his surgery after only being open for 2 hours and Louisa also returned home after the same amount of hours spent at school. They headed to Truro for the scan and the shops. They both told everyone that wanted to know where they were headed that they needed to go finalise things for the house. Louisa had her ever present file with her and while they were driving she talked non-stop about her plans. Today, however, the topic solely revolved around the nursery.

"Do you think we should paint the nursery with natural colours, like pastels or do you think this time 'round we might have a peek at the sex of the baby and then decorate the room according to its gender? Do you want know … or not?" Louisa had her hand on his thigh again.

"I really don't… I liked the fact that we were surprised by James. But if you prefer the room to be gender orientated, I suggest we request to know beforehand."

"Oh, right, so no real answer from you then? I think in the spirit of doing things different this time 'round, I think I would like to know. How far along do you have to be to be able to check that?"

"You will be able to see the sex of a baby at around 18 weeks, depending on the position."

Oh, so it's still 10 more weeks to go! Feels like an awful long time. So we'll just have to put the nursery plans on hold until such time." She gave Martin a smile and squeezed his thigh. It made him glanced at her quickly and she gave him a wink! She seemed in a very happy mood today. Seeing her like that always elevated his mood.

They arrived at The Royal Cornwall Hospital and headed for the consultation rooms. Before Martin called for an appointment he "studied" all the available gynaecologists available at the hospital and did some reference checks to find the best one. He booked Louisa with Dr Susan Taylor. She had a good track record and was an established Obstetrician for the past 10 years at The Royal Cornwall. She seemed adequate.

Louisa got registered and they were led to a room. The attending nurse asked Louisa to leave a urine sample and then they were alone in the room, waiting.

"Martin, I am really glad that you are here … with me today."

"Right." He did not know what to say really.

At that moment the door opened and a woman walked in, about mid forty, medium build, blond short curly hair and big blue eyes.

"Dr Ellingham! What a nice surprise. Never thought I'd see you here? How are you?" The woman extended her right hand to greet him and gave him a warm smile.

"Uhm, I'm sorry Dr Taylor, do I know you?"

"I was in medical school with you, we even shared some classes. I also worked at the same hospital with you in London for a couple of years. But we were never on the same level, obviously, me going into OB and you being a Surgeon. But you were well known, in all departments of the hospital. The Great Martin Ellingham, with the Midas touch!" She looked at Louisa and gave her a wink!

"Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention … to other departments or doctors for that matter. Please accept my apology for not remembering"

"Understandable. I got married, maiden name was Walker. When I heard about your haemophobia I was stunned. It' was a sad day when you left. We lost the best surgeon that Hospital ever had. No one was ever able to fill your shoes you know? But such is life, right?"

A Grunt was the only thing Martin managed to get out. He did not like to talk about himself especially about his glory days that were destroyed by his weakness.

"But I am sure you are not here today for a trip down memory lane. I see from the notes that you appear to be pregnant… Louisa Ellingham? Is it fine if I call you Louisa?" Dr Taylor was looking at the file where Louisa's notes were in.

Louisa was brought back to life as she heard her name. She was always intrigued when she heard about Martin's past and it was interesting to meet someone that seemed to know Martin from his uni days and even the hospital he used to work. He never spoke about it at all, except for what he told her on their weekend away. She instantly liked Dr Taylor; she seemed open, friendly and nice.

"Off course you can." She gave Dr Taylor a smile. "We did a urine test about 2 weeks ago and Martin also did some blood test. So we are fairly sure we are pregnant."

"So, let's get you up on the bed then and hook you up to the monitor to see if we can have a first glance at the little one." She helped Louisa and in no time she had the Ultra sound Devise ready and smeared some gel like fluids on Louisa's still very flat tummy. Martin was standing behind Louisa on the other side where he could look at the monitor directly! This is a whole new experience for him and he didn't want to miss a single thing.

Dr Taylor moved the devise around until she found the spot where a little black spot was visible. "There we go! Let's switch on the sound to see if we can't hear anything?" She hit a button and all of the sudden a very clear, very fast tub-tub could be heard! "Mommy, Daddy, meet your little one! According to the monitor the foetus is about 2 centimetres long. It will steadily grow about 1 millimetre a day from hereon. The heartbeat is at 160 per minute, which is perfectly normal. It also shows that you are 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant. We will schedule another scan for 6 weeks from now, at 14 weeks, and then the big one at 20 weeks where we do the Anomaly tests and try to determine the sex, if you want to know, that is. Now, is there any other medical information I would need to know, apart from the fact that you are Geriatric Parents and we need to keep a close eye on you, Louisa." Dr Susan Walker looked at Louisa, with eyebrows raised. She saw that Louisa had tears on her cheeks, but she was used to that, as most moms cried when they heard the baby's heart beat for the first time.

Martin, who hasn't said a word since Dr Taylor started the ultra sound, cleared his throat and said with a still shaky voice: "She has Iron Deficiency Anaemia. But we have that under control. She is taking antenatal vitamins and she is quite active. I don't foresee any problems."

Louisa looked at Martin who sounded a bit…off. She saw that his eye was glistening and they were red. Was he also close to crying? She realised that it must be a big moment for him. He never accompanied her to any scans with James, mainly her fault. And he only heard James' heartbeat that one time. She never thought of how this must be affecting him. She reached and took his hand and gave him a big smile. He took a big breath and surprised Louisa with a barely noticeable smile as well.

Dr Taylor saw the emotional glances between the two Ellingham's, and was quite taken by it. The Ellingham she knew years ago was not the same man standing in her office today. He used to be cold, rude, and self-centred, a real smug, but she was looking at a different picture. It had to be this beautiful woman, who must have seen something deeply hidden in him that no one else ever saw. No one dared to ever even try to break his barriers. But it looks like this Louisa managed to do the unimaginable. Life sure works in mysterious ways.

"Here are some tissues, you can wipe your tummy clean and then we are done for now. Please don't forget to make an appointment. Take real good care of yourself. Drink lots of water and try to eat as healthy as possible. Moderate exercise and minimal stress is vital."

Louisa cleaned herself and got up from the bed. She straightened herself and was ready to go. She reached out a hand and greeted Dr Walker. "Thank you Doctor. I am in very good hands. Martin is taking really good care of me. We will see you in six weeks."

Martin also reached out his hand and with a nod of his head and a "Dr Taylor", they left the office.

 _A/N: I am pretty sure this is my last chapter before Christmas. So I would like to wish every single reader/writer a Blessed Christmas. Hope you all get to spend it with loved ones. Take real good care! Blessing!_


	19. Chapter 20

A/N: A Very Short chapter that was needed to get them past this day. Hope you'll enjoy! Reviews are most welcome!

Chapter 20

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the stores. After a quick lunch, Louisa dragged Martin from one store to another to get furniture and paint and this and that! She was enjoying every single minute while Martin on the other side felt agitated the moment they entered the first store. After the first sales assistant asked a stupid question, Martin nearly bit his head off. It was at that very moment Louisa took him to a corner.

"Listen Martin, firstly – I won't let you treat people like they are all complete idiots and secondly I won't let you ruin this day that I have been looking forward to my entire life. So either you shut up and tag along or you might as well go wait in the car. I'd prefer to have my husband with me today, but if you are incapable of doing this, I'd rather do it alone!"

"But it's not my fault that stup ... _person_ is not capable of doing –"

"Stop! I will not let you do this! WHY do you always have to be so rude and…URGH!" Louisa could not take any more! She needed her supporting, loving husband here today! This was supposed to be a remarkable day for both of them. But yet again, he did his best to spoil everything! WHY? She suddenly broke down in tears, something she did not want to do, but it sort of just happened.

"Louisa! I did not mean to upset you, please don't cry! I promise to try my best to behave." His wife crying was the last thing he wanted today. He always felt so incompetent – never sure of what to say to make it stop.

Louisa was sobbing without stop. She was suddenly overwhelmed by just about everything. The baby they heard for the first time today, the anticipation of the new house, shopping with Martin, her own insecurities. She was always proud to proclaim that she was a strong independent woman, but she felt nothing like that now! She just wanted to crawl into a hole and cry forever!

Martin saw that nothing he would say was going to make this better. He took her by the shoulders and guided her to the outside where their car was parked, opened the door and they got in. She searched through her handbag and got out some tissues. Martin did not say a word, he just let her be. After a couple of minutes her sobbing became less and it finally looked like she was in control again. This was Martin's queue that he could talk.

"I am sorry that I have upset you Louisa. I can see how my behaviour sometimes is not . . . most appropriate. Hopefully Dr Tillerson can help me to . . . work on it."

"So…you are definitely going to Dr Tillerson for therapy then?" Louisa was not sure that Martin was committed to the therapy yet. She knew he only had one appointment so far. And Martin did not say anything about how the meeting went and if he'd be going back. She didn't want to push him, so she never asked.

"Yes. I have to" Martin was looking at his wife, and realised that therapy was inevitable. If he wanted a proper future with his family it was unavoidable. Situations like today never needed repeating.

Louisa took a huge breath and let it out slowly. "I know it would be hard, I do appreciate your willingness to go through it. I'm sorry 'bout the crying. I felt a bit overwhelmed and when you lashed out at that poor kid in the store, I just broke down. I am sorry if I made you believe it was entirely your fault. Let's just blame the pregnancy hormones. We good?" Louisa was biting her bottom lip.

"Yes." Martin was glad everything seemed to be settled. He really hoped that Louisa's pregnancy hormones would rather not act out in the future. He was not sure if he would be able to go through seven months of that. He just had to be very careful about what he does and says in the future.

"So are you ready to shop with me? I really want you to. It is important to me that we decide together. You up to it?" She took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Yes."

The rest of the day was eventless. Martin walked next to Louisa, who did most – correction - ALL of the talking. She knew exactly what she wanted and was quite capable of getting the best service out of the people that helped them. She had charm and a beautiful smile, which probably helped the cause. She often asked Martin's opinion, which he gave truthfully. By the end of the day, they selected paint for every single room, except the nursery, as well as new drapes and blinds for all the rooms. Louisa had the measurements and size of every single room in the new house. They also selected a new bedroom set for their room and a kid's double bunk bed for James's room for when he would be able to sleep in a proper bed. They also bought 2 couches, and a couple of loose chairs, a dining room set, one or 2 decorative lamps and quite a few new electricals. Martin had to admit, his wife was something else. He always thought she was a bit . . . scattered, but she showed him today that she had great planning skills and knew exactly how to execute them. No wonder she was a very good Head. He felt proud of her. He knew their house would look great.


	20. Chapter 21

_A/N: Whishing you all a Wonderful New Year. Thanks for reading...and every review is appreciated! Suggestions are also welcome. Enjoy!_

Chapter 21

Martin was really struggling to get his story just right. He had over 37 pages – double sided - and was trying to organise them accordingly. He was supposed to go back to Dr Alan in 2 days, and felt very frustrated about the assignment he was given. He wrote every single thing he could remember. Every time he thought he was done, he remembered something new and he had to add a page or two. These past 2 weeks were not good. Most of his memories left him feeling hurt, irritated, agitated, edgy and frustrated. He was glad Dr Alan asked him to write about it, rather than talk about it. But the writing was just as hard.

He did most of his writing at night after he and Louisa put James down for the night. On the third night he headed for his office to write and not take up a BMJ to read, Louisa could not bear it anymore and simply had to question him, she was not going down that road again!

"You seem to have an awful lot of writing these past few days Martin. Is everything OK?"

"Hm, yes." Martin stop in the doorway and looked at Louisa who was curled up on the couch where they normally spend their nights reading or where she sometimes watched something on the telly. She had a frown on her face and was biting her lip.

"You sure? You don't sit with me anymore in the evenings. I . . . don't want things of the past to repeat again. Please don't shut me out!" Her voice was shaking and he could see she was truly worried. It suddenly dawned on him. He did that before…shutting her out.

Martin turned a walk halfway towards Louisa. "Dr Alan gave me an assignment. It involves a lot of writing and the only time I can manage are in the evenings. I apologize if it interferes with _our_ time." He swallowed hard and tried to get control of his voice that seemed shaky as well. "I won't do _that_ again."

"Oh." She was quite staggered by what he said. "I was just really afraid as you seemed distracted and closed these last couple of days. Sometimes you had a sad look about you…and I just don't want you to be sad anymore. Is there anything I could help with?"

Martin looked at some invisible spot on the floor and after an awful long silence he said: "Dr Alan asked me to write "my life story". I have to try and remember as much as I can from as early as possible. Some memories are … difficult."

"Oh, I am Sorry Martin, I know that must be hard." She got up, and walked to where Martin stood and gave him a long kiss, and a solid hug. "I know it won't help much, but hopefully it would give you the strength you need to get it done. I love you Martin. Thank you for doing it."

When Martin sat down to write that evening, he was able to get more done than all the other times before. She really did help him. Her kiss, her hug, her presence was all positive factors encouraging him to keep writing and go back to Dr Alan.

In the days that followed Louisa saw Martin going through endless amounts of emotions…well that's what she would call it. She knew it was due to the assignment from Dr Alan. Some nights he seemed angry, other times truly sad. There were nights she was sure he was crying, other times he just did not respond to anything she said. Then there were the times he looked like a little lost schoolboy. Those were the times she felt her heart breaking. She knew it was really hard! All she could do when he came to bed at night was to make sure she gave him a hug and told him that she and James loved him. He needed to feel she cared, understood and was there for him. She didn't want him to feel . . . alone in all of this. It was a tough two weeks in the Ellingham house.

Now - 2 days before his appointment – he only needed to sort it out, this disarray that was his life! He only had tonight and tomorrow night and he must get it right. He cannot go to Dr Alan on Friday with this mess lying in front of him. With a sigh he started to organise his papers. At half 10 he felt better as it seemed more or less correct. He felt extremely tired and decided that he will just double check it all the following night to be sure it was perfect. He locked all the doors and headed upstairs. He went to check on James and stood at his crib for a couple of minutes. He touched his little face and stroked his hair before he went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When he entered the bedroom he saw that Louisa was lying on her back with a magazine on her chest. She was fast asleep. When he took the magazine to set it aside, she was startled.

"I tried to stay awake, but I guess I got tired. I wanted to make sure you're OK. How far are you with your assignment?"

"More or less done" Martin got into bed and Louisa snuggled up to him immediately.

"Good, I really miss my husband. It's been quite a while you know?" Louisa hoped Martin was able to get what's she was talking about.

But, he clearly was clueless. "I haven't been away"

"Do you really want me to spell it out? It's been a while since we were … getting it on, Martin." Louisa was as confident as could be about her and Martin, but she still felt a bit awkward telling him that.

"I see" Martin sort of smiled in the darkness as he could feel that Louisa felt a bit awkward about the statement. He thought that was quite foolish after everything they did together in the past. She was pregnant, for the second time, for goodness sake. This is their bedroom, their bed, she needn't feel awkward about anything when she's here. This is their safe heaven….even he felt at ease here. He put his arms around her and pulled her even closer. "Is there anything I can do to change it?"

"Oh, I am not sure, is there?"

Martin turned and started kissing Louisa with as much passion as he could while he reached under her night dress to touch her skin. He only realised _then_ that she was not wearing a bra and when he reached below there was also no nickers. So, she already had plans for the evening. That quickly made his blood move to parts that reacted all too quickly. This woman knew just how to get him worked up…in more than one way. With a muffled "Oh Louisa" and a quick shift in bodies he was able to show Louisa that he was ever so capable of changing it!

X X X

On Friday, around the same time he left for Newquay two weeks ago, the Lexus was heading there again. When he knocked on the door, Dr Alan opened up real quickly, as if he was close to the door, waiting for the knock.

"Martin, please come in. You know the way, let's go to my study"

Like before Dr Alan walked straight to the coffee table, but this time there was a distinctive fragrance hanging around. Freshly made espresso! He poured 2 cups and handed Martin his while he added some sugar and milk to his. Martin just took his cup and went to sit on the chair as he preferred to have his espresso without anything.

Dr Alan settled in his chair behind his desk and after taking a sip, he placed the cup down to talk.

"I was not sure if you would show up today. I am glad that you are here though. "

"Yes" Martin took a sip from his espresso and then put his cup down. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and took out a pile of papers. It was neatly secured at the left top corner with a staple, and had a printed cover page that said "Martin Ellingham" in big bold letters. Martin stood up and with a muffled "as requested" he placed the 'assignment' in front of Dr Alan.

"I was wondering if you would be handing me this. Let's see." He took the pile and first checked how it looked. Off course it was very neat and tidily done. Even though the front page was typed, the rest were all hand written. His handwriting was very neat, especially for a doctor. He didn't expect anything less from this man. He then looked at the amount of pages, which looked like it could be roughly 40 or so. Clearly Martin took this assignment very serious and really put his brain to work. It impressed him even more.

"Thank you for the effort you put into writing this for today. By the amount of pages, I can see that this had you really thinking hard, right?"

"Yes." Martin did not have more to say as Dr Alan only stated the obvious.

"Do you like reading?" Dr Alan closed Martin's papers and held it in his one hand.

"Yes, I quite enjoy it. I normally read medical journals. It helps me to stay on top of things."

""Great. Well, since you enjoy reading so much, how about you read me this story about Martin Ellingham. You know I am retired and my eyes are not what they used to be." With that he stood up, walked around the table and handed Martins assignment back to him. He then turned and went to sit on the couch. He had a book and a pen in his hand.

Martin looked at Dr Alan intensely. He was not sure how to handle this. Why would he want to read his own story he had written for the past 2 week's nonstop? Maybe he did not understand correctly" "I am sorry, I don't understand. I thought you wanted me to write you the story, so you could understand things better."

"Correct. I do want to hear your story, but from you. And since you don't like talking, but do like reading, I thought we could do it like that. You won't be talking about your life, but you would be reading a story. Can you do that?"

Martin actually had no valid reason to object to Dr Alan's approach to it. He actually thought it was quite a brilliant little trick.

"Fine." He took the paper and was just about ready to start reading when he suddenly remembered something.

"I started my story at around about the age of 4 as that was my earliest memories. But I just remembered something my Aunty Joan told me…about the time as I was born."

"You can tell me…if you want…or do you also want to write it down…add it to the story?"

"Uhm, no, it's fine, I can just say it quickly. My Aunty Joan, who was my father's youngest sister was asked to come and help out my mother when I was born. My mother did not have any siblings. My Aunt arrived on the day I was born. According to her, my mother did not want to hold me when I was born. She claimed to have been too exhausted and in too much pain as I was a very big baby. My Aunty Joan was the first to hold me. She was the first to bathe me. My mother also decided not to breastfeed, and once again Aunty Joan was the first to hand me my first bottle. I was released from hospital before my mother and Joan took me home. She stayed for three weeks while my mother got a chance to get better. Joan said my mother never once picked me up for a cuddle, or a bathe or to feed me at all. Joan thought it was very strange as she could barely keep her hands off me. She wanted children all her life but her and Uncle Phil was unable to have any. She told me that on the day she left my father's house to return back to her farm, she cried her eyes out. She didn't want to leave me there, but she had no right as I was not her child. Before she left, a nanny was introduced to her. My parents told her to tell the nanny everything about me, my routine, feeding times and such. She had to leave me with the nanny that day. Joan told me this after Louisa came back to the village and told us she was pregnant. I don't know why she told me that. I thought it might be useful for you to know."

"Thank you Martin for sharing that. Yes, I think it might proof to be useful." Dr Alan was making notes in his book. "I can see you have quite a long story there, let's see how far we can get today? Would that be alright with you?"

"Yes, good"

"Great, now let's get started on the Martin Ellingham story." Dr Alan shifted to make himself comfortable, like a child would do before a story. His book was open and his pen ready. He looked up to Martin to show he was ready.

Martin started reading.

He read about a 4 year old boy who was really loving the outdoors. He liked exploring and learning about new things. He was eager to show off everything he found or learned. But his parents weren't that much interested in what he accomplished. They were too busy with their own things, to notice him. The only thing they did take seriously when it came to their son was discipline. His father was very strict. He did not tolerate bad behaviour and was very set on manners. The story reached the part that Martin told Louisa – about the time he found his father and the lady in the study. He read about the beating. Martin paused for a fraction of a moment. When he read this part to Dr Alan, he felt very involved in the situation, he connected to it as if he was there again, he could see his father's anger, felt his blows, and he swore he could even taste the vomit in his mouth. It affected him in such a manner that he could feel his heart beating faster and sweat started to form on his forehead. He told this to Louisa a couple of weeks before and he wrote this less than 2 weeks ago, why was it having this effect on him today? He took a big breath and continued the – his – story.

After a full hour of reading Dr Alan told Martin to stop. They reached page 24 already. He could see that what Martin read him, was very hard to deal with, as Martin had to stop on one or two occasions, only to take a big breath, whipped the sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief and continued. At one stage, Dr Alan even saw a tear rolling down this big man's cheek. But, oddly, his voice never changed, it never went emotional, shivered or broke. If you were not looking at him, but only listened to his voice, you would have thought he was completely unattached. How could he be so … controlled? He clearly had years of supressed emotions!

"Martin, when you read about this . . . do you recall the times it happened or are you in a mind-set where you feel that you are _just reading a story_. How do you approach this?"

Martin stood up and walked towards the coffee table, and poured himself another cup of espresso. He knew it was not the right thing to do, as it would probably keep him up all night. But he needed to do something. He walked back to the chair slowly but only stood there. He could not sit a minute longer. The chair was suffocating him, or was it the reading? Either way. He looked at Dr Alan, and Dr Alan realised that even though Martin's voice didn't give away anything, his eyes were the ones you had to watch…it shows you everything!

"The images are crafted in my mind, I can see everything as clear as daylight. As if it is happening right now. It's upsetting." Martin took a large sip from the espresso, but it tasted ghastly. Not the espresso's fault though.

Dr Alan realised that the last 2 weeks must have been a hell of a time for Martin.

"OK, so you _are_ emotionally involved in what you read as you clearly connect it to yourself…which is good. For me, who is the listener in this story, I cannot tell by the tone in your voice whether you are emotionally involved or not. Your voice never changed, you never flinched once…to me it seemed like you were just reading a story about some boy…let's call him Harry or James or-

Dr Alan was immediately alarmed when he saw that Martin turned very pale! Martin actually had to sit down very quickly as he felt very unsteady on his feet.

"What's wrong Martin? Are you OK?" even though Dr Alan was an older man, he moved very quickly and was at Martin's side in a wink.

"Not James, he will never go through that!" Martin looked angry.

Dr Alan was a bit stunned by Martin's reaction towards a name. "Do you know a James?"

"He is my son! And if I can help it that will _never_ be his life story!" Martin was saying it with a sort of forced whisper. He was clearly very upset!

"Martin, I am very sure your James won't ever be part of a life story like that. Your reaction towards it now, and the fact that you are seeking help from me is already a clear indication that you love your son tremendously and that you will never allow anything like what I've heard today in that story to happen to him."

Martin just stared at a spot on the ground, his hands were shaking.

"I think we are done for today, don't you. We covered a lot of the story today. And I kept you longer than I intended to, I know you still have a drive home."

Martin only manage to get a muttered "yes" out. He felt upset and tired. This is not easy…why did he even agree to go through this hell. Living the life he had was already hard enough, why did he need to scratch open long healed scars?

"Why did you ask me to write this? What has it to do with the fact that I want to be a better father and husband? I cannot see how what is written in _this_ can help me at being better. I told you, my past is better left alone" Martin took the papers and tossed it on the table.

"I needed to know your story Martin. What happened in the past Mostly contribute to the way we are in the future. The 24 pages we covered today, told me a lot about you. It was shocking to say the least but it did not tell me what a weak or fragile boy you were, being beaten or bullied, but how tremendously strong you had to be as a small child and teenager to endure all of that and still decided to become a doctor, of all professions - might I add. Many others that were faced with that" and Dr Alan pointed to the papers laying on the table, "are currently in jail or in a psychiatric facility. They would not have chosen to be in a field where you daily had to help others….as no one helped you – or that's what I gathered from your story."

"My grandfather and father were surgeons, I was always going to be a surgeon."

"It seems you only became a doctor because you had to? Tradition? So, if I asked a young Martin to choose any career under the sun except a surgeon, what would you have done?"

"Uhm, I … don't know. I liked being a surgeon, I liked saving lives."

"So it was a choice. You chose to help others. For a minute I thought different."

Martin stood up from the chair, shot his cuffs and adjusted his tie. It looked like it was a way of shedding everything that was said from his shoulders. He was clearly ready to leave.

"Right. Would you be able to come back next Friday again? I want us to finish the story. After that we can really start working on the future." Dr Alan walked over to his desk, picked up the 'story' and put it in his book where he written some notes. He then put it in a drawer.

"Fine. Same time?"

"Yes, that would be good. And Martin, I know today was hard, and next week might also be, but once were done with the past, it's done. Never to be discussed again. So please hang on."

Martin opened the study door and they walked out together. Martin greeted Dr Alan by hand and headed for his car. Just before he got in, Dr Alan called out.

"Do you still play chess? I remember in the story you mentioned that you played, and even won a trophy. So, do you still play?"

"I haven't played in a long time." Martin didn't care much for chess after he won the trophy. When he told his parents that he won the inter school Championships and that there would be a ceremony for it, they told him that they already had plans even though he didn't even tell them the date yet. He realised they just didn't want to come. But Dr Alan should know that, as it was part of the story today. He only played occasionally with Ruth but that was also very long ago.

"Do you still know how to?" Dr Alan wasn't about to give up on this. "I loved playing, but since my wife died I don't have a partner anymore. None of the kids or grandkids know how to play. Can we please play next week, when you come, even if it's just one game?"

Martin looked at Dr Alan in surprise. Did he really just ask him to play chess? Their meetings should be strictly professional. There was no time for … games. He wanted to get these sessions over and done as soon as possible. But Dr Alan's voice sounded desperate.

"Fine."

"Thank you Martin. I am looking forward to next Friday"

Martin just got into his car but before he drove off he wanted to send Louisa a message again.

"Finished in Newquay. Love you forever. Martin"

Louisa was again surprised to receive the text message from Martin, just like the time before, two weeks ago. 'On my way home. See you soon. I Love you.' She read it over and over. To many people those were just everyday words. But she read so much more between the lines. It had meaning. It was just great. She was wondering if Martin would send a message today. No matter how many times he went out, on house calls or out of town, he never before sends her a message. But now he did…and she liked it a lot. The previous time she replied with 'Me and James are waiting. Drive safe. Love you too. Louisa'

Today her message was simply 'I love you Martin', there wasn't anything else she needed to say.


	21. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Louisa woke up feeling nauseous – again. O, when will this end. At 10 weeks, she thought it would have been over by now. With James she only felt sick for about 6 weeks…not this long! She was sure the moment she got up, she'll need to run to the Bathroom. She wished she could have stayed in bed until this baby is born. She was done with vomiting! She felt tired every morning even before she started the school day. She really hoped the nauseous stage would pass soon! With a huge sigh, she got up to start the day…and yes, off to the bathroom, hanging over the bowl.

As she stood up to brush her teeth, she thought about the past 2 weeks and she felt a bit emotionally drained as well. The past 2 weeks with Martin was really very hard. He pushed all her buttons, and not the right ones. She knew it was due to his assignment, and she really tried to be understanding…but she is glad it was over. She is well aware that it was probably only the start of a difficult road for Martin, but at least that was out of the way. Looking forward, after dealing with the past! She hoped that it will get better . . . it can only get better, right? There had to be better times ahead, than constant bickering with Martin. The past fortnight he made it really hard for her to shut up and understand. That was simply not her way. She is headstrong and value her own opinion. And shutting up was never something she did very well. She can't even count the numerous times she had to bite her tongue in the last 14 days!

When Louisa got to school, she was irritated as she was late. She was firstly stopped by Bert who only wanted to ask if the Doc was in, but ended up telling her some story about the origin of Whiskey. She still had no clue what he was babbling about. She had to politely excuse herself, reminding him that it was in fact a school day, and she was the Head, who could not be late! Then Mrs Olson stopped her, a dear old lady, but a very slow talker. Once again she had to excuse herself in the middle of the conversation, and she felt quite bad about it as Mrs Olson didn't have any one to talk to anymore since her husband died in April. When she finally arrived at the school, one of the children's parents were already waiting for her. It was Mikey's mom and dad. She actually did not have the strength to talk to them today, but it had to be done. He was a very bright young boy, really smart, but somehow he ended up with some poor grades the last couple of weeks. She needed to find out if there were any changes happening at home or if they were even aware of his decrease in grades. She took a big breath and started the day.

At 11 o clock she was able to 'relax' in her office for the first time. She dealt with the Mikey situation quite efficiently, learning that the parents were in the middle of a divorce, and Mikey, being an only child, was hit by it quite hard. She understood, really understood what Mikey was going through. Years and years after the same happened to her parents, it still affected her. People don't know just what children think and feel in situations like that. Children will always put on a brave face, smile, act normal, but she knew just how deeply it affects your heart and soul. Mikey's path ahead wasn't easy, but from her side at school, she will try to help him as much as possible, as Mrs Wingley, her own year 5 teacher helped her through her toughest time in life! Mrs Wingley was the reason she became a teacher. She was her rock when it felt the world turned against her. She cried as if it was her own mother when Mrs Wingley passed away 7 years ago of leukaemia. She aspire to follow in Mrs Wingley's shoes. If she could only help one child the way Mrs Wingley helped her, she would consider herself a successful teacher.

She opened her drawer and took out an apple, and two biscuits. She also made herself a cup of tea. After the 5 minute breather, she felt better. Just then there was a knock on her door. She expected it to be one of the teachers or even a child that was send to her office, but was extremely surprised when a tall, dark and handsome man stood in her doorway

"Hello Louisa! Remember me?"

Louisa was truly dumbstruck. It was Ben from the beach … at the cottage. She never thought she would see him again!

"Ben, what a nice surprise! Please come in, take a seat. It's good to see you're still around."

"Well I'm just flattered that you still remembered my name!" He laughed and sat down in the chair.

"So, you decided to come and visit Portwenn after all. I am really glad. You'll really love it here."

"I am surprised at the beauty that's surrounding the town, and also the town itself is pretty gorgeous…but off course nothing compares to the beauty in front of me!" He gave her a smile and she was blushing again! "Really, it looks like you only got prettier since the last time I saw you. You are truly …uhm … radiant!"

Louisa shifted uncomfortably in her chair, but what he said made he feel warm inside. It was nice to hear flattering words like that and not something like "Due to the increase in blood flow to the skin, which makes it brighter and blushed in pregnant woman your skin looks radiant, Louisa," Classical Martin.

"O, stop teasing, you cannot go around flattering people like that, especially in this small village."

He laughed out loud and gave her a wink. "Ooo, is your husband the jealous type?"

She did not give him an answer? She actually really did not know if Martin was truly the jealous type? She knew he didn't like Danny's attention when it was directed at her, but she imagine it's only because Martin don't like Danny at all. Would he get upset if some other man ever gave her a compliments? She don't think he's the type that would ever make a scene and fight for her honour. She almost laughed out loud at the thought of that! Imagining Martin take up a sword to challenge his rival to fight sounds preposterous! But, Martin in one of those tight fit pants and white wide sleeved shirts…hmmm, now that's a different story!

She quickly diverted her attention back to the man sitting in front of her. "I guess your time was up at the cottage? Did you enjoy it there?"

"O yes, it was fantastic. I did a lot of walking on the beach, a lot of thinking and when I got a bit bored I suggested to the owner of the cottage that I would fix up the place a bit for a week or two's extra rent free stay. So I repainted the house, fixed up the roof, did some minor repairs, you know, the usual." He seemed very relaxed.

"I am confused; I thought you said you are a teacher." Louisa was sure that's what he said on the beach. Yes, he said he was a math teacher. Math teachers don't paint and fix up houses! Well, not the ones she knew.

"Yes, I am a teacher. But I have a father that insisted that a man must be able to take care of his family so he taught me everything a man must be able to do! I can paint, fix electricals', do a bit of plumbing, heck; I can even build a little. But that I learned when our school wanted a gym. So all the male teachers and some of the dads pitched in and build it! My dad also taught me the basics about the insides of a car engine and off course a tractor." He looked very proud and you could hear when he talked about his father that he loved him. Louisa wished she could do the same about her own father.

"Well, he sounds like quite a man. What's his profession?" It was nice to hear Ben talk, and she would like to hear more about him and his family.

"He is a farmer. He is already 67 but refuses to give up farming! We have a cattle and sheep farm. But he also does a bit of planting…sometimes corn, sometimes sunflowers. There is nothing that goes on on that farm that he does not know about. There is not a thing he cannot fix if it's broken. He's simply the best."

"How nice. What about your mum?" Louisa did not want him to stop talking. It was nice to hear someone else's story for a change, and it made it all more exciting that he was from a different country! She liked how … flat his accent sounded. Not bad, just different.

"O my mom is the world's best mom ever. She's a typical " _boervrou_ " like we would say – that means farmers wife. She loves baking and cooking and she has this beautiful rose garden. She also have about 20 chickens that she treats like children. She simply loves people and always invites friends over for a 'braai 'over the weekends…uhm, that's what you like to call a barbeque. We just do it a bit different. She is the most loving caring person I know!"

"She sounds like the perfect mom." Louisa gave him a small smile that clearly did not reach her eyes, as they looked a bit sad.

Ben picked up on that and said. "She is! But enough about me. I only wanted to stop by and greet you…since you're the only person I know. I booked in at some sort of hotel at the bar … upstairs room, but was wondering if you could advise me on a flat or small house I could rent for a while. I don't want to stay there for two months maybe more. I plan to go to Newqie…or something like that after here"

"NEWQUAY. It not far from here, 'bout 23 miles. And about housing, you shouldn't struggle too much to find a place. Since its autumn now, most of the summer visitors have gone back. The winters 'round here gets quite awful."

"Good to know! Just one last question. You said your husband was the local GP here? I think I need to go visit him. I had a small accident on the second last day before leaving the cottage. I was fixing something on the roof, when I slipped and fell and one of the panels that weren't secured yet on the roof, stuck into my calf, nasty cut. I was lucky that I did not fell of the roof. I cleaned up the wound, put some bandage on, but I think it got a bit infected as it doesn't look or feel very good."

"O my, that's unfortunate. You should definitely go see Martin. When you leave the school yard, you can just walk past the harbour and uphill. The street's name is Rosscarrock. Come here; let me show you the building through the window." Louisa stood up and walked over to her window and signalled for Ben to join her. He walked around the desk and stood very close to Louisa. She could smell his aftershave. She shrugged her shoulders and showed Ben the grey building across the harbour.

"Thanks so much for your friendliness Louisa. Let me go see if I can get an appointment. I guess I will see you around town. _Jy is asemrowend."_ Bye."

It was the second time Ben said something in his own language that she could not understand. That was quite nice, but she really wished he could translate it…but clearly he didn't want to do that.

"Bye Ben, see you 'round."

Ben barely left when the school's secretary burst into the office to hammer Louisa with questions about her extremely handsome visitor.

"O, he's just a traveller, who also happened to be a teacher. I met him on the weekend me, Martin and James went away. He's traveling through England for a year. And I told him that Portwenn is the most beautiful village in all of England. So, here he is. He said he'll stay for a month or so. Then he'll be off to Newquay. He's also hurt his leg, so he remembered that I told him that my husband is the GP, so he wanted to come and ask me where he could find him." Louisa was rambling it all off as she wanted to get it out real quick. She knows how these villagers are. Before long, the whole village will know about the handsome man that visited her in her office. Better to tell this woman in front of her as much as possible to take the mystery out of it! She made sure to mention that she told Ben about her _husband_ who was the GP, so that they won't think differently. After all, there isn't anything to hide in any case.

The rest of Louisa's day was busy. When she finally went home, she almost forgot about Ben completely. She was tired and just wanted to be home with her son and husband. When she arrived home, Janice was playing with James. When her son saw her, his whole face lit up and she was awarded with a bright smile and an awful lot of talking especially mumumum. He's getting so big. He was able to say quite a few words but his favourite words was mumumum, dada, bye bye, He was able to walk for longer periods before he fell. But he's already showing his dad's stubbornness to give up. He's quite a determined little guy.

Looking at her son, Louisa was feeling a bit anxious about the new house as well. A week after they bought the furniture, curtains and paint, it was delivered. Now everything was just standing there in the new house. She and Martin both have been so busy lately; that they haven't appointed a painter yet and they did not even hung the curtains and blinds yet. She wasn't feeling very energetic these last 2, 3 weeks and Martin had his assignment from Dr Alan and was also called out quite a few times after hours. They really needed to make time to at least go and hang the curtains. It was not safe to leave everything like that. She must make a point to discuss it with Martin.

Martin sat at his desk, waiting for Morwenna to send in the last patient. Morwenna told him that it was a tourist that came by earlier today and asked to see the Doctor. She booked him the last slot as they were already fully booked before he came.

There was a knock on the door and a tall, dark haired man walked in.

"Good Afternoon Doctor." He stretched out his right hand and Martin stood up to greet the man.

"I Am Ben Van Der Walt."

Martin shook his hand and pointed to the chair so he can sit. "Dr Ellingham", Martin said.

"I know it must have been a long day, so let me get straight to the point. I was fixing a roof, slipped and injured my leg on a loose panel. I did clean it with water, and after the bleeding stopped, I put a bandage on. But it's not looking good now. I was wondering if you could have a look and maybe prescribe me a good antiseptic as I should have cleaned it better. I am not familiar with all the ointments and things in England so I was afraid to just go buy something off the rack."

"How long ago? Martin pointed to his examination table and said: "Get on there."

Ben went to the bed, and rolled up his pants of the leg in question. "Two days ago." Martin took off the Bandage and felt a twitch in his stomach as the wound started bleeding due to the bandage that was stuck to it. But surprisingly that was all, no sweat, no need to vomit. He inspected the wound closer. There was quite a big cut that should definitely get some stitches, and it really needs a thorough cleaning! He went to get some disinfectant and cleaned it quite vigorously. He then closed the wound with 3 stitches and put some antiseptic ointment on. He finally closed it with a bandage.

"You should have cleaned it better, and you shouldn't have waited so long before seeing a doctor. Have you recently had a Tetanus shot?" Martin looked at the man with eyebrows raised. He wondered if this tourist would even know what it means.

"No, the last time I had one was when I was 10, and stepped on a rusted can. I am sorry that I have to trouble you with my stupidity. You're right, I should have taken better care of it."

"Right." Martin prepared a shot and took Ben's arm and administered it. He was quite impressed with this tourist. He did not say a single word, or moaned or complained when Martin cleaned his wound, gave him stitches or gave him the shot. Looks like a tough one. He also did not talk nonsense, he got straight to the point and told Martin exactly how, where, and when. He also admitted his stupidity. He wished all his patient could follow this one's lead.

Martin went to sit at his desk and was writing a prescription for a good antiseptic cleaner and also a lotion.

"Thank you Dr Ellingham, I appreciate it. I am glad that I met your wife who told me you were a GP. You helped me a lot today."

Martin's head shot up and he looked at the man in front of him intensely. "How do you know Louisa?" He thought this man was just a tourist. Maybe he met Louisa in town somewhere today. He know how Louisa could talk to just about any person she meets.

"We met about 2 months ago, on a beach actually. She mentioned that she, and her son and husband were on a little vacation. She also mentioned that her husband was the local GP and told me to come visit Portwenn if I could. I must say, she was not exaggerating when she said it was the prettiest village in all of England. You are lucky, Dr Ellingham, to live in such a beautiful village and being married to such a gorgeous woman. And I guess the cherry on top is that cute son of yours!"

"You met James as well?" Martin did not like what he was hearing. How could Louisa not tell him about this tourist she and James met on the beach? He looked at Ben again, and felt even more uneasy. This guy was quite … handsome. He had dark hair and green eyes and tanned skin, and he was clearly not out of shape. When he talked you could see he was very confident.

Ben smiled at Martin, and Martin could feel the shivers run up his spine. He was sure all the woman who saw that smile, melted instantaneously. He had perfect white teeth. Martin knew many guys in medical school that looked like Ben. They were obnoxious, self-centred and had too much confidence for their own good. However, the ladies hanged on every word they said. Repulsive.

"Yes, he is simply the cutest boy ever! But let me not keep you away from them any longer" Ben reached out and greeted Martin. He had a strong grip. "Thank you once again Dr Ellingham. I might see you around town as I plan to stay in this gorgeous place for a month or two" he turned and walked out the door, prescription in hand.

"O God!" Martin grunted!

Later that evening, long after they had dinner, bathed James and settled him for the night, Louisa and Martin sat on the couch. Martin was holding his BMJ but haven't read a single article yet. In fact, he read the first line of the article 5 times already. That tourist was on his mind…and the fact that Louisa didn't tell him about their meeting.

Louisa was also trying to read a book, but couldn't manage to concentrate on the story at all. She needed to discuss the house with Martin. She let it be the last couple of weeks, but now it was time. They simply have to make time to get things sorted. This is dragging an awful long time. She is ready to move! She was just about to put down her book, when she saw Martin looking at her. He wasn't 'admiring' her as he sometimes does…she knew that look all to way. This was a different look.

"Whot?"

"Uhm, I met a 'friend' of yours today" Martin wanted to sound normal, but he knew his voice was failing him.

"O? I thought by now you've met all my friends." Louisa didn't like the wayMartin sounded. He sounded unusual.

"A Tourist named Ben who claim to have met you before."

Louisa's heart skipped a beat. She knew Ben were too come and see Martin, for the injury he mentioned, but for some reason she felt uneasy by the fact that Martin mentioned it.

"Oh, right. James and I came across him on the beach when we took a stroll the Saturday at the cottage. We talked for a couple of minutes and then we went back. I actually forgot about him. But it seems I have convinced him that Portwenn was worth visiting. He came by the school today to greet me as I told him I was a teacher here. He is actually also a teacher from South Africa! When we talked on the beach I told him that you were the Doctor on call here, so he came by to ask directions to the surgery. He's staying at the pub and is looking for a rental. I told him it shouldn't be too hard to find one now, since its autumn." Once again, Louisa felt the urgency to tell the person in front of her as much as possible. With her secretary it was mainly to ensure there would be little to gossip about, but with Martin she wanted to make sure she told him everything to put his mind at ease as she could clearly see he wasn't over the moon about Ben.

"Why didn't you tell me … that you met someone on the beach?"

"O, I don't know, might be because you swept me off my feet when we returned to the cottage, with the lovely barbeque and you looked so handsome. I guess I just completely forgot about him. He wasn't important. I was really surprised today when he showed up at the school."

Martin only let out a muttered grunt. He can't believe that Louisa just forgot about Ben. Ben wasn't the type to be easily forgotten.

"He is a … handsome man, not easily forgotten" Martin looked at Louisa's face to ensure he could see her reaction. He was surprised when he saw a smile and mischievous look in her eyes.

"So, that is you type then, hmm? Tall, dark and handsome?" Louisa grinned.

Martin first looked a bit baffled as he didn't quite understand what Louisa meant, but then his eyes grew big and he looked horrified.

"O God, No! I merely suggest-"

Louisa's laugh made him realise that she wasn't serious.

"Oh Martin, it's was just a joke. You should have seen the look on your face." She fell back against the sofa cushions and laughed again." After a minute she gained control. "Thanks Martin, I needed a good laugh!"

"Glad I could be of assistance." He turned his attention to the BMJ that was still unread.

After about a minute of silence, Louisa spoke.

"Martin? I was meaning to ask you?" She shifted her weight as she felt the urgency to visit the loo again, for the umpteenth time. But she will hold it just a tad, she needed to ask Martin when they would find time for the house.

"Yes?" He seemed a bit closed off. Louisa really hoped meeting Ben today, wasn't the reason for this. That would just be silly.

"Is there a way we could arrange to have some time to spend on the new house? Our furniture and curtains were delivered quite a while back and we still haven't gotten around to put them up. We also haven't decided on a painter yet! I knew you said we have all the time in the world, but at this rate we will move in when James goes off to college!"

"That's ridiculous Louisa!"

"I know I am exaggerating, but I am really ready to move. We simply have to make time to get it done, please?" Louisa looked at him with her best 'pleading' face. She hoped he saw the desperation.

"Yes. I know. I feel the same way. We need to set a time, and not deviate from it by any means. "

"Easier said than done. There is always some emergency or something disrupting our plans." Louisa was biting her bottom lip.

Martin thought hard for a while and then said. "If you have nothing to do on Saturday, say from 12, I could reschedule some appointments and close the surgery a bit earlier? Will that be helpful?"

Louisa's face lit up and she had a smile as big as the sun on her face. "Yes, Martin, that would be great! But are you sure about closing the surgery? How would you be able to reshuffle 4 hours of appointments?" Louisa wasn't very hopeful.

"Morwenna has proven to be quite . . . resourceful. She is actually good in rescheduling. I've seen her manage it a couple of times when emergencies took over some scheduled appointments. And also with my visits to Dr Alan. I am sure she'll manage. And if there is emergencies, they can go to Wadebridge for the day. I will put up a note."

"Thank you Martin, for finding the time to do it. I think I should ask Janice to take care of James Saturday afternoon, if she's not busy. Don't want our little 'walker' to get hurt while we work. And I really think you should let Morwenna know that she is making a difference. She would appreciate a positive word from you."

Martin didn't say anything, but Louisa knew the look on his face. There's no way he would say that to Morwenna! He would rather die a thousand deaths. She wonder why it was so hard for him to compliment others. Or showed that he appreciated someone. She could only sigh deeply.

Translation for Ben's " _Jy is asemrowend_ " comment to Louisa: " _You are Breath-taking_ "


	22. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Time sure waits for no one and before the Ellingham's' knew it, another week passed. It was Friday again and Martin was once again off to Dr Alan. When he arrived, Dr Alan was waiting with an open door. They walked through to the study after a quick greet. When Martin entered the study, the espresso was again ready to be served. There was also a water flask today. Martin was really glad about that, as last time he wished for some water. Martin also saw that a chess board was readily packed on the side. He completely forgot about the promise of a game. He was not in the mood for it and don't know why he said yes in the first place.

Dr Alan went to his desk, opened a drawer and took out his book and pen and also the 'story'. He gave it to Martin and went to sit on the sofa. Martin saw that as his queue to start reading.

Pages 25 and 26 dealt with university days and tales about students and no friends, but also about his dedication as a student to excel, being top of his class and off course his only 'friend' – Chris Parsons. Page 27 was all about Edith…both sides. It was quite emotional pages, but once again Dr Alan noticed how completely shut Martin was. The pages revealed how hurt the young student was, but the man reading it, didn't reflect that.

Page 28 and 29 were about his days as a surgeon and how he loved the feeling of accomplishment. These were all about dreams coming true, achieving long fought goals, reaching the top, which he did with remarkable speed. It mentioned some difficult surgeries. These were the Martin Ellingham golden days. At the end of the reverse side of page 29, his haemophobia struck! Martin explained in detail how he felt, the hopeless realisation that his career was over and off course Hope. Hope was also given a full two sided page – nr 30.

The end of page 30 described a funeral and a beaten and hurt Martin who was busy retraining as a GP. It's here that Dr Alan saw Martin cry. Not loudly, just a couple of tears running down his face while his voice kept an even tone. He could not believe it! Finally this man showed that he was human after all.

Page 31 started with Martin's interview and his arrival in Portwenn – and off course, here Dr Alan met Louise! Pages 31 to the end were filled with Louisa moments, and off course Portwenn. Firstly - all the stolen glances, admirations from a distance and then the odd meetings. Danny! The infamous wine night. Then their numerous attempts, and failures, at building a relationship. The proposal and the non-wedding, the heart-ache of love lost with the complete realisation that he would spend his miserable life alone forever. The dreary times spend with the idiotic villagers and his fight against the haemophobia to try and go back to London. Then Edith filled a couple of lines again, but there were no emotions attached. Louisa still ruled his heart and mind. Edith was just a professional colleague. And off course, as Martin wrote, the day that changed his life, the day Louisa returned – pregnant. He wrote about the shock and fear of becoming a farther. The helpless feeling of Louisa's refusal for him to be a part of it all. The first heartbeat, the first picture. His decision to rather leave Portwenn than to struggle through his days without being IN Louisa and their bay's life! He couldn't bare to witness her coldness towards him anymore. London was waving in favour. Familiar surroundings, familiar life.

His story continued with the birth of his son, and the unfortunate death of his beloved aunt. Having gained and lost at the same time. And then the pages were filled with every little incident that happened between then and now. The shock when Mrs Tishell kidnapped their son and his final decision to stay in Portwenn. Their very perfect wedding day and not so perfect wedding night. How Louisa and he struggled to make their marriage work with endless amounts of misunderstandings. The incident where Louisa was hit by the car, which was his fault and then the operation he had to perform on her to save her life. How he hated his mother's visit. A very difficult and emotional part was when Louisa Left for Spain. On the same day he felt both utterly sad and happy. 2 Prominent women left that day. One caused excruciating pain, while he barely felt anything for the other…except joy about her leaving. These pages mostly showed an emotionally inept man that found it very hard to be normal. He was afraid of messing up his marriage and not being a good father. Yet it was crystal clear that he would give his life for either of them.

The front and back of Page 37 covered the last couple of weeks. Firstly it briefly described the incident at the Wilton farm and how Louisa came looking for him! He wrote of a wonderful weekend spend away from the world, and how he confessed some of his secret to Louisa. There was the house hunt and the news of a new baby on the way.

And the complete realisation of facing the facts, which were:

He was now a family man - he had a wife and will soon be the father to two children!

And that was the reason he was seeking help.

It said "THE END" at the bottom of page 37.

Martin stood up to pour a glass of water. He drank it in one shot. He went to stand at the large window that was actually overlooking a very nice garden. He felt extremely relieved that he was done reading. He heard people talk about how 'a weight was lifted from my shoulder' but could never understood what they meant by it, until this very moment. He felt as if he could breathe for the first time in his whole life. He did not have to keep it all inside. It was out in the open, someone knew about everything that happened to him. He thought it would near kill him if someone knew, especially how it affected him, how it damaged him, how hurtful it was. How hard he had to work at keeping it bottled up, to never show the world how he was falling apart. He learned from a very young age to never let them see you cry, hurt or affected. It was better not to say how you feel, as it would just cause more pain. Decades of emotional isolation left him standing here today, causing him to question his ability as a husband and more importantly a father. And at that very moment something just broke and Martin Ellingham started crying! His shoulders were shaking as raw emotion poured out! He can't recall a time in his life that he cried like that! He thought that he would feel ashamed that his emotion flooded like that, but he simply didn't care! He didn't know exactly why he was crying, but he just let it go. After a good 10 minutes, Martin seemed to regain control again. He took out his handkerchief and wiped off all the evidence of his melt down. He felt lighter but at the same time utterly exhausted. He never turned away from the window and Dr Alan did not say a single word the whole time.

After Dr Alan felt he gave Martin enough time, he cleared his throat and it was as if Martin was shocked back to reality. He shrugged his shoulders, shot his cuffs and adjusted his always perfect tie and turned away from the window and went to sit on the chair again. Martin Ellingham, the ever emotionally controlled man was back again.

"Thank you for reading me the Martin Ellingham story. I am not telling a lie when I tell you that that story was one of the most … difficult ones I heard in all my years as a professional. But, and I do need you to understand this very very clearly. None of what happened was ever your fault! Never. And the fact that you struggle to respond with emotion to things in your life _now_ , is directly the result of your childhood trauma. I am actually not surprised at all. What does surprise me though is how you managed to stay in control of it all these years. And how someone like you, can stand in my office today, ready to do whatever it takes to change all of it. Which just proofs how extremely much you love your wife and son. Most would just say it's not worth the effort and pain. It's much easier to turn around and leave. That gives me a lot of hope for the two of us working together to ensure a better future. You deserve a better life and I do believe that together with Louisa, James and the new baby, you can have a great family life. It is well within your grasp you just need to reach out and take it. And that's where I come in. I will try to equip you with tools to make it all easier. Off course it will take work and quite a few sessions"

Dr Alan stopped as he wanted to let the words sink in. Even though this is a huge challenge for him as a professional, he really want to see this man in front of him be happy. And yes, it's going to be very hard, and it might take longer than usual, but he believe that Martin is at a stage in his life where he realised it's all or nothing, the last lifeline. He is a determined man, proven through his accomplishments. Yes, Dr Alan believed that Martin Ellingham would see this through.

"Martin, I want to see you at least every two weeks. I know you are a very busy doctor, therefor a weekly appointment would be intrusive to your schedules. If you are ready, we will start working on helping you become a better husband and father as from our next session."

Martin could only take a huge breath and let it out loudly. "Yes, I can manage that." It will not be easy to constantly be away from surgery every second Friday, but he will just have to make it work.

"But off course I also have another little bit of homework for you." Dr Alan gave Martin a grin.

"Right, off course." Martin just hoped it wasn't anything to do with his parents or the past again. Hopefully he's done with that.

"I need you to firstly think and then write why you love Louisa. I am sure you have your reasons, but I need to understand why you love her so much. I don't have to ask why you love your son, as that is just an undeniable fact, even though your parents were the exception to the rule. I know I can count on you to do a proper job on this again. When we meet in two weeks' time, we can discuss it. That should give you more than enough time." Dr Alan took his Notebook and once again put Martin's story in it and closed it, indicating that this session was over for the day.

Martin was ready to leave immediately but just before he turned for the door, his eyes caught sight of the chess set. He did promise this man they'd play, and he didn't like to go back on his word.

"Uhm, what about chess?" He looked at Dr Alan with what can only be described pure agony on his face.

Dr Alan saw that he clearly didn't want to do it. He only felt obligated because he said he would play. "I think we've had a long enough day today, what say we try next time, we'll see if we can fit it in then. I am feeling a bit tired. I will not be able to give you a good game if we do it now." Dr Alan only added the last part to let Martin off easily.

"Right." Martin felt utterly relieved. He was in no mood to sit around playing chess when he could be heading home to his wife and son. He felt an aching feeling that he needed to be close to them. He missed them terribly at that very moment. He walked out, shook Dr Alan's hand and got into his car. It feels like it became custom to write Louisa a message on the phone, although it only happened twice before. He liked sending the message, but he liked it more to receive one back from her before he drove back home. Today he felt a bit … poetic and thought he might write something different…

" _Louisa. In the midst of suffocation that life brings about at times, you are the fresh air that allows me to breathe again. Love. Martin"_

After he hit the send button, he waited for a minute or two as Louisa always responded back quickly. After 5 minutes, he gave up, started the engine and drove back home. His heart felt a bit heavy, he really wished she'd replied, but she didn't. Maybe he did not say the right words, even though that was exactly what he felt at that very moment. Louisa constantly encouraged him to talk about his feelings, and when he finally worked up the courage to do that, she did not respond. What's the point then? Did she not appreciate it? Was it the wrong thing to say? His mind was going back and forth as he took the drive back home. He did not hit the exhilarator as hard as he normally did, resulting in him arriving home much later than he normally would. When he took his phone from the car charger, he saw the light flashing. There was a message after all! Martin took his phone and read:

" _My Martin, Loving you is my greatest pleasure, but getting your love in return, is my most valued treasure. Forever. Louisa"_

His heart felt as if it was bursting through his chest. She _did_ appreciate his message! And she wrote a beautiful one back. He should have just given her time, maybe she was busy with James, or on the phone.

 _My Martin_ , she said, as if he always had and always will belong to her, only her!

 _Forever -_ Means till the end of time, eternity, never-ending! He felt his eyes water up as he read the message over and over again. He thought about all the things that was written in the last pages of his story. The last couple of years. The last couple of weeks! Inside that house his wife, - yes HIS WIFE - was waiting with their son and unborn baby, and she said forever! Was he prepared for forever? YES, he could do forever, as long as it was with Louisa!

Inside, Louisa was starting to get worried. Firstly she received the most amazing message from Martin which immediately made her eyes tear up. She actually had to leave what she was busy with and go upstairs to wash her face as the tears wouldn't stop. She was only able to respond to his message after she gained control of her emotions again. Pregnancy-hormones!

She heard Martin's car 5 minutes ago but he didn't come in yet. She hoped everything was all right as he arrived much later than usual. And that message was amazingly wonderful, but unusual for Martin. She understood that Martin was trying to tell her that she was his "breath of fresh air" and that was simply fantastic, but the first part bothered her nonetheless. _"In the midst of suffocation that life brings about at times_ ". She really hoped that he wasn't suffocating – figuratively speaking! She really tried hard to be supportive, understanding and loving! These past couple of weeks were far better than ever before. Yes, rows with Martin were as inevitable as the sun rising, but it wasn't as bad as before. They were sort off at a 'good place' lately.

After a good 5 minutes, Martin finally got out of the car and walked around to go to the kitchen door. When he entered, Louisa was already setting the table for dinner, with James seated in his high chair. When James saw him he said _dada_ whilst swinging his arms and legs. He walked to him and gave him a small peck on the head. He didn't want to pick him up as he hadn't washed up yet.

"Hi Martin. You arrived much later than I expected, considering the time you sent the message. Everything OK?" Louisa stood next to the table and looked at Martin with big eyes. She was troubling her bottom lip with her teeth and her face was scrunched together in a huge frown. He could see she was worried.

He walked around the table, took Louisa by her shoulders and gave her a solid, heart-melting, knee-wobbling kiss! "Perfect" was all he said before he turned around to go wash up.


	23. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

Ben van der Walt was loving Portwenn. It had only been 5 days since his arrival, but he could already see why Louisa loved this little village. Beautiful scenery, amazing views, wonderful coastal paths and friendly locals. Peace and quiet surrounded everything. All the things he desperately needed. Being a small town boy himself, it felt a bit like home, except for the sea and the weather off course. His own little town in South Africa was very far from the ocean. And South Africa is known for its sunshine, rather than rain. But the way the villagers interacted, made him think of how small towns are all like that. Closely knit in times of emergency, but normally just too much in each other's business.

A year ago, he would never have imagined himself strolling through a small village at the coast of England. He actually never took that much interest in England. It wasn't a lifelong dream to travel to Great Brittan at all. He was a passionate sport lover, and there for his only knowledge about England was through rugby, cricket and soccer games he watched on TV. He had respect for the English Rugby team when the Springboks played against them and off course the same could be said when England played cricket against the Proteas. He liked watching soccer matches and thought highly of Sir Alex Ferguson's Man United team and always watched all the Soccer World Cup Games. That gave him enough to talk about with the local men at night at the pub. He often had discussions on his favourite English rugby player that could be none other than Johnny Wilkinson and his favourite Cricketer, Kevin Peterson. But he was equally able to hold a conversation with any of the ladies he came across in town. His mother had a keen eye for all types of flowers, even though she had a very exclusive rose garden. He always loved the way she talked about different types of flowers, so his knowledge were wide spread. Being a teacher also helped with a wide range of topics, anything from to assignments and discipline to sport and culture in school. He had a wide interest in life.

But he still could not believe that out of all the places in the world, this is where he found himself - Portwenn - England. After 'the incident' he felt that he needed to get away. His first thoughts were to go to Australia, even New Zealand. But something inside him decided that England seemed far enough from South Africa. It was a different environment, a total culture shock and there's the weather - the complete opposite from SA. He needed different.

Since his arrival he explored the whole village, he went up and down each street, took lots of pictures. He walked for kilometres on the beautiful coastal paths and was mesmerized by the beauty along the coast! It was never his plan – if he actually had one – to visit this small fishing village, but he was really glad he did. Thanks to Louisa.

In the evenings he mostly enjoyed a beer or two at the pub, but liked to explore his dining options as well. But, he really longed to find a more "homey" place to stay. He would love to make his own breakfast and lunch, and maybe have a braai in the evenings! Eating out every meal was firstly very costly and secondly not always that healthy, not that he was overly conscious about eating healthy all the time! He loved a good burger or fish and chips, but was desperate for a decent homemade meal. He was glad no one could read his mind, but he really missed him mom's cooking! She took such good care of him the last couple of months, he really missed her already.

He did ask around for available flats or a small house, but nothing came up so far!

So Friday whilst walking down Roscarrock Hill after a hike along the path, he saw Louisa and James just in front of him. He jogged a little to catch up to them.

"Louisa! Wait for me!"

Louisa was surprised to see Ben jogging towards them. He had some slacks on, a t-shirt and trainers. And off course, a bright smile.

"Oh, hi!" She smiled at him and even James gave him a little grin.

'Good heavens, she is beautiful', was the first thing that flashed through his mind! She reminded him so much of …

'NO Ben, he reprimanded himself, don't go there. 'He visibly shrugged his shoulders and smiled at her.

"Where are the two of you off to?" He tried to sound chirpy, too ensure light conversation.

"We are just heading to the market, to get something for supper, aren't we James?" With that she smiled at her son. And then at him! It gave his heartstrings a huge tug! Gosh, how is this possible? There are so many similarities. It was as if life decided to play a trick on him! As if he needed anymore!

"Can I tag along, if you don't mind, just till we get to the pub?"

"Off course you can. Are you still staying at the pub?" Louisa started pushing James again and together the three walked down to the centre of the village.

"Jip, haven't found a place yet. Which is sad, as I don't particularly like staying there at that pub. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just …" he did not know exactly what was wrong with it…it just was not ideal.

"Too noisy right? I stayed there for a while, once, and even though it wasn't bad, I couldn't bear the constant noise!" Louisa didn't even realise how finishing Ben's sentence came so easy. He was just an all-round easy person to have a conversation with. She was also thinking about White Rose Cottage. It was empty at the moment. There were people staying there over the summer, but they returned to the city a couple of weeks ago, so the cottage wasn't occupied currently. She wondered if she should offer her cottage to Ben, obviously as a rental.

"Exactly! Too noisy!" He laughed loudly. "Wait, why did you stay at the pub in your own village? " Ben looked at Louisa with a huge frown on his face.

"Long story". Louisa didn't want to start on that with Ben. After all, he was firstly just a tourist and secondly, as stranger who didn't need to hear her life story!

"I like stories, especially long ones" He smiled at her. "Particularly when they are told by beautiful teachers" He had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, which made Louisa laugh.

"Well Ben, I really don't have time for long stories, as I need to get supper ready for my husband. Remember him, tall, very handsome Doctor?" She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, she had a playful smile on her face.

Ben crunched double, and hold his stomach while letting out a large growl. "Ow, that was a very low blow!"

Louisa just laughed as they walked slowly towards the village centre.

As they walked through the streets, villagers noticed the 3 walking and chatting away. They looked like they enjoyed the walk and looked quite at ease. Both Louisa and Ben laughed quite often at each other's comments and wit, and they were quite a picture. Louisa was sheer beauty and Ben is really quite a handsome man! If you didn't know them, you would have thought they were a couple, strolling through the streets with their cute baby that was also babbling away non-stop.

The villagers always gave Doc Martin a hard time, as they felt he deserved it. When he and Louisa started seeing each other, even got engaged, they thought she was crazy. He was odd, and didn't belong to their village. His rudeness was very off-putting and he scared most of them to death. He was an outsider who has come to take their beautiful gem away from her home. But after years being their Doc, they accepted him; he was now part of life in this peaceful village. They depended on him, even admired him, for he really was a great doctor, even though they would never admit it out loudly!

Seeing Louisa walking through the village with another – handsome – man was too much for them to bear! They didn't like it at all. Most of them met Ben, either in the pub, or at the Market, or strolling through the streets. He was a very pleasant person, utterly handsome and easy to talk to, easy-going which made them all that much weary. They knew just how hard The Doc and Louisa was working to make things OK in their marriage, and as far as their concerned, they didn't need any outsiders messing around. The villagers did not like seeing Louisa walking the streets with Ben one bit!

She suddenly headed for White Rose Cottage and asked Ben to quickly walk with her. He agreed, thinking that she just wanted the company. When she came to the door, she scrambled through her handbag and found the key. She turned the lock and walked in, inviting Ben to follow her and James.

"Welcome to White Rose Cottage. This was my home before I moved in with Martin. We usually have renters but currently it's empty. I will talk to Martin first, to find out if it'll be alright and if he agrees you can rent it for the next couple of weeks, if you want" She looked at him with big eyes. The sun that was shining through the window, made her hair glow, and it was a fantastic picture.

He stared at her, openly, with quite an odd look on his face. Louisa could not place it.

Ben suddenly regained control and gave her a warm smile. He walked through the small living room, inspected the kitchen, walked up the stairs and down again and opened the terrace doors. "This is fantastic! I would LOVE to stay here. Are you sure? I really hope Dr Ellingham says yes. This is simply brilliant!" He turned around, walked to Louisa and picked her up and twirled her around twice whilst giving her a big hug.

Louisa was shocked, as this was really in-appropriate behaviour! She did not like the fact that Ben thought he could just do that. She shrugged him off and took quite a few steps back. Her whole face showed how displeased she was!

Ben saw immediately that Louisa felt uneasy. "Oh, I am really terribly sorry, Louisa! Please forgive me. I am a hugger, especially when I am excited, and normally my friends don't mind it! But I can see we are not there yet, am I right?" Ben hoped that Louisa didn't feel too offended by his actions. She was really nice and he didn't want the easy feeling between them to disappear. Back home every one knew him, he really was a hugger, and all his close lady friends didn't mind it at all. But he should really have remembered that this was not home. Maybe Louisa didn't appreciate someone so … overly friendly or expressive. He really thought of her as a friend or was he merely taken by her looks?

Louisa looked at him for a moment or two, contemplating if he was one of those guys that thought every woman could be hugged or touched , the kind with wondering hands, or was he really just excited and that's his normal way of dealing with it. "Apology accepted, but please, don't do that again." She didn't want him thinking behaviour like that was acceptable to her.

"I really am sorry. I promise that won't happen again! "He looked truly remorseful and she thought it was settled!

She smiled at him to show that all was good. She walked to the door and together they left the cottage.

Whilst locking the door she asked: "So what are you doing this weekend? " Louisa just wanted to continue their light conversation. It was nice talking to him. But then again, talking to any one came easy for her.

"I don't have any definite plans, but I like exploring, so I'll just take the car and drive in any direction the car wants to go. Thanks Louisa, for introducing me to Portwenn. It was never part of my plan, and I never even heard about it, but I am really glad that I am here. The people are friendly, it's beautiful and very relaxing. Just what I needed, especially after the time I spend alone at the beach cottage. I now long for company, you know. And like I said, the town folk are friendly! What about you? Any plans for the weekend?" Ben liked talking to Louisa; she had an easy manner, open, friendly, lovely! And off course, the resemblance made it even easier…or was it harder?

"We bought a house a while ago, but haven't gotten around putting up blinds and curtains yet, so we are planning on doing that this weekend. It's hard finding time, and now that I'm …uhm, we also still need to find a painter as the whole house needs to be repainted. "Louisa hoped that Ben didn't hear the little stagger. She still wanted to keep her pregnancy private, so no need to blabber it to a tourist!

"Well, it seems you have quite a busy weekend planned. Moving is terribly hard work."

"Yes, but its way overdue and I am really excited about it. I actually hoped that by now we would have lived there already. But Martin decided the whole house needed the plumbing and electrical double checked and we want to repaint before we move in. Martin wants the house looking top nudge. He said that we will do this once, so we need to do it right. Off course he's right, I just wished we could find a painter real soon and get it done already! "

Ben suddenly stopped in his tracks, and Louisa was a bit taken by this sudden action. He had a HUGE smile on his face.

"You know, I could paint your house, if you want! Not to blow my own horn, but I do think I'm quite good at it. If you need to find a reference, you are free to call the Cottage owner at the beach, where I did repairs, I have his number. Listen, I need to find something to do while I am here. I know I am not supposed to work for money while I am in England, so maybe there is some other way you could compensate me? "He gave her a little grin and raised his eyebrows.

Louisa thought for a moment. She suddenly had this odd feeling that he had a 'different' kind of compensation in mind! He saw the shocked look on her face as her mouth fell open and he realised immediately that she thought he had some obscure suggestions!

He knew he had to set her mind at ease immediately! "I was **_thinking_** that maybe I could paint your house and in return you could offer me rent free stay at the cottage! Honestly Louisa, get your mind out of the gutters." He spoke in a reprimanding tone, but a grin was lurking around his mouth corners!

Louisa visibly relaxed and even had to laugh a little. Firstly because of the thoughts that crossed her mind in horror and secondly at this man reprimanding her about it!

"Oh don't be silly Ben! But I do think that's not a bad idea! Like I said, I'll talk to Martin and I will let you know, ok? They reached the market and Ben greeted Louisa with a wave and a big smile.

Whilst walking back home, she thought about Ben's suggestion regarding painting their house. That would really be great if Martin agreed. Ben could start as early as next week, and before they know it, they would be able to move! The arrangement of labour for rent sounded like a fair deal. She would discuss it with him later at dinner or probably afterwards.

Ben on the other hand was over the moon. He might just have found a very nice little cottage that would make his stay even more enjoyable! That view when he walked out on the terrace was simply fantastic. He really hoped Louisa could convince her husband to let him stay! He decided to give the Beach Cottage Landlord a call and ask if he was willing to vouch for the work he had done the past weeks. He desperately wanted to stay at White Rose Cottage.


	24. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Louisa took James for his bath after dinner. When they left the kitchen, Louisa said to James.

"Say bye-bye to daddy James."

James looked at his dad and said: "By-by" While he was waving oddly to Martin.

"Good Bye James, enjoy your bath" Martin watched as they walked up the stairs. He decided to give them a couple of minutes and then he will go join them. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with his wife and son tonight.

The sessions with Dr Alan was hard. Remembering all those dreadful things from the past, made him appreciate his current life even more. He knew that he needed to work hard, every day of his life, to ensure that it stays good, but he was willing to do that. He'll do whatever it takes to keep his family happy, as their happiness is after all his happiness.

After cleaning up the kitchen, he heard that the two of them were still playing in the bathroom. He went upstairs and stood at the door entrance. James was playing with a toy boat and ducks in the bathtub whilst Louisa sat on the floor next to the tub. James saw him first. He laughed as he picked up one of the yellow ducks and wanted Martin to take it. He kept saying 'du' 'du' 'du' with a deep voice. He waked over to the bathtub and took the yellow duck from the small hands.

"You are very clever James, this is a DU _ **CK**_." He picked up the little boat and showed it to James. "This is a BOAT. Can you say Boat?" Martin gave James the boat. James just giggled as he took the boat and played with it in the water, splashing all over. Louisa just stared at Martin as he normally didn't do things like that. That was quite…different, but really good. She stood up and asked Martin to quickly look after James as she wanted to go get his clothes ready in his room.

When she entered James's room she just stood in front of the bed where she normally dresses James. His clothes were already set, she normally did that before she put James into the tub. But she felt that she needed to give Martin a couple of minutes alone with his son. He normally stayed clear from the bathroom if she took James for his bath, but she was happy to see him come in tonight. After his message this afternoon and that marvellous kiss when he came home, she sensed that his session with Dr Alan must have been difficult. He seemed a bit different and she could not quite place it.

She thought how different things were this time around. Her pregnancy was progressing really well. After nearly 11 weeks, she seemed to be over the nauseous period. She wasn't throwing up anymore! This couldn't have come any sooner. She visibly lost weight, and her colleagues at work started asking questions, which she managed to brush off lightly. It was a really busy period at school now, nearing the end of term for autumn. She told them that she was not having a healthy appetite at the moment. And James was keeping her busy now that he started walking a bit. It seemed as if they bought the little lie, which wasn't really one. They all know how stressed she can get and James is quite a busy one lately. They also felt that they 'knew' the Doc, they're pretty sure he must be a handful as well. However, her colleagues at school were quite surprised these days with the many phone calls she received from the surgery.

But now she started to feel more alive! She had her appetite back and she was starting to feel really great. She could finally start enjoying this pregnancy and they will probably soon have to tell everyone.

Martin on the other hand was driving her up the walls. He called her at school every day, sometimes twice to ask her how she was feeling. He took a personal interest in packing her a lunch box every day, with only healthy sandwiches, soup and fruit accompanied by fruit juice and water. Before he got up every morning, he took her arm to check her blood pressure and in the evenings when they sat on the couch, he took her blood pressure! He was very concerned about her weight loss, but knew that there was a logical answer. She didn't care for all the fuss he was making, but she knew he only wanted to take care of her, this time around. But it was really very hard to just let it go on! She don't know how much longer she'll be able to be nice about it. She's a grown woman after all who did go through a full pregnancy previously without all the nitty gritty every five seconds! She tried once to tell him that he was fussing too much, but he asked her if she'd prefer that he back off, like with James and if she'd learned nothing from the lonely times she spend in London.

Remembering all those months in London, longing for someone by her side, she had to admit that it was nice to be cared for with baby number 2. And Martin has been taking really good care of her, too good. He prepared supper every night – with optimum nutritional value in every bite, of course and even had breakfast ready every morning she woke up. The past couple of weeks she has been feeling very tired, and the fact that he prepared breakfast every day, allowed her that couple of extra minutes. James was also quite a handful these days, standing up against everything, taking small walks, crawling everywhere and as far as he went, he unpacked what he could. No drawer was safe from him anymore. So she and Martin have been doing a lot of 'running' after him. She had to admit to herself, that having Martin be part of her pregnancy proved very helpful! She was so stupid the first time! Everything could have been so much better if she and Martin weren't so stubborn. No point in pondering about it now- water under the bridge.

She also thought about Ben, and wondered if tonight would be the best to bring that up. She'll rather talk to Martin about it the next day while they are at the new house. Tonight she just wanted to be with Martin. No disagreements, or rows or anything worrisome!

Louisa was so very proud of Martin for sticking with Dr Alan. She knew it was still early days, but she didn't think that Martin would ever made it through three sessions! And she was so thrilled about the text messages she received every time he visited the therapist. She wondered if that was part of Martin's therapy. Was it something Dr Alan advise him to do or was that all Martin – the new Martin? Either way, she liked it a lot.

She was brought back to reality when Martin came into the bedroom carrying James, all wrapped up in a large towel.

"I did call you to say that James was ready, but you did not respond. Are you all right. Is something wrong?" Martin looked at his wife and was trying to visibly 'check her over'. She was standing in front of the bed with a frown on her face. Apart from that, she looked fine.

"Oh, Sorry Martin. I guess I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear you. Come here little man, so we can get you dressed." Martin placed him on the bed and Louisa wished she had 4 hands as he squirmed and wiggled so much she was hardly able to dress him properly! They both laughed as Louisa had a little song she always sang while dressing him. A dress up song, if you could call it that. It wasn't a song others would know, as she made it up. It was just between her and James…and she guess, one of these days, there will be a new baby she'll also sing it to.

While his wife and son were in the bedroom, Martin cleaned up the bathroom, which was becoming more and more difficult after each bath these days! James was really growing up so fast and he was very busy.

Louisa finished James and exited James' room as Martin left the Bathroom.

"Here daddy, please take your sparkling clean boy! Maybe the two of you could go downstairs and play for a while before its bed time, hmm? I'll be right down." Louisa gave Martin a smile that could melt an iceberg in Antarctica!

He took his son and the two of them headed for the living room. He placed James on his play mat and surrounded him with all sort of toys. He sat next to him on the floor and then he picked up some blocks with letters on and started building a word..

"This is how you spell _HEART_ James. The _Heart_ is one of the most important organs in your body. It is actually a muscle and it keeps you alive. An adult _HEART_ beats about 100 000 times a day. Your _heart_ rate should be 80 to 120 bpm. BPM means beats per minute. If you want a healthy _heart_ , you should always eat healthy food and stay hydrated. Moderate exercise is vitally important to keep a healthy _heart._ Avoid smoking and alcohol at all costs." Every time Martin said the word 'heart', he pointed to the blocks. James liked it when his daddy sat on the floor with him and loved his voice. He looked at him and the blocks with an open mouth. It seemed as if he was listening and understanding everything that Martin told him. When Martin finished his little lecture about the heart, James crawled over to the word and scrabbled it around. Martin just looked at his wonderful son! He could have missed all of this so easily.

Firstly when he nearly left for London. He would not have seen his son being born, and maybe the connection they shared at that very moment would have never been there.

Secondly when Louisa left for Spain. She could have decided that she was done with him, which would have affected his relationship with his son tremendously.

And lastly, the incident at the Wilton farm could have taken a turn for the worst so easily.

O, and now he also remembers the "Mrs Tishell Incident" as well. Crazy woman even though it was probably not completely her fault.

But James and Louisa are here with him now, and he's sure that all three of them are happy.

Louisa came down quietly, and watched her two men 'play' on the mat. Martin usually put James in his Playpen and didn't really play or talk to him that much. But she was so happy to see him sitting with his son, at his own level and talked to him even though he was giving a lecture on the heart, something James will definitely not understand. But she also saw that James loved it when his daddy talked to him, so he clearly didn't care what he was saying as long as he was there with him. This was progress, and she loved Martin even more for how hard he's trying. He's getting the hang of it. She really hopes he'll be able to cope with 2 children. He's a great father to James, there's no doubt that he loved him very much and she was sure once he hold the new baby, he would feel the same way. She just hopes James' sneaky streaks these days will not damper Martin's 'enthusiasm' about children. He's becoming quite a handful. She and Martin both decided to be quite strict with James, and lately the word he heard the most was 'no'. He was an enthusiastic explorer and liked tasting his findings. Louisa and Martin had to constantly watch what he was doing and eating for that matter. Whenever Martin was on watch, he preferred to put James in his playpen, as his son was giving him a near heart attack every time he moved!

"No James, Don't eat THAT, it's disgusting!" Louisa was sure that would be James' first full sentence as Martin said those exact words nearly 10 times a day! Sometimes she just had to laugh at the two of them. Martin looked like he could throw up, while James looked like he won jackpot with whatever he stuck in his mouth. Her two men! She loved both of them endlessly! She wondered if they'll have another perfect little boy this time around, or will they be fortunate enough to have a girl. She really didn't mind having another boy at all. Somehow she always saw herself having boys.

She came and sat on the floor next to James, across from Martin. James crawled over to her and climbed into her lap.

"Thank you Martin, for sitting with him. He loves it so much when you talk and play with him. you're a really good dad."

Martin on the other hand was fussing over Louisa again. "Uhm, you shouldn't be sitting on the cold floor Louisa. And make sure James isn't kicking or bumping you too much. An accident can happen easily." Martin was already reaching to take James from Louisa's lap.

"No, stop it, Martin. I am fine. You got to let me live a little! This constant fussing needs to be taken down a nudge! I am not ill, just pregnant! Like thousands of woman before me. I am not made of glass, so please, leave James where he is, it's all right!" Louisa was a little irritated and was actually shouting. She wanted Martin to understand that he needed to back off a little sometimes. she cannot take this any longer!

Martin just looked at her, stunned, with big eyes. His mouth opened and closed as he struggled to find words. Louisa realised that maybe she went a little overboard; she could have handled it better.

She let out a huge sigh and then said: "I am sorry Martin, for shouting. You didn't deserve it. You know I don't like all this fussing. I do appreciate your concern and I am really appreciative of everything you do for me daily. You're taking very good care of me, and I am just not used to it, you know. I really am sorry." She gave him a shy smile and hoped that he wasn't too upset about what she said. James was a bit frightened though and decided that he'd rather crawl back to his daddy, who looked like he could use a hug himself. He crawled into Martin's lap and cuddled against his chest. He looked like he fit in there just perfectly! Louisa could only stare at them. She saw two exact pair of grey blue eyes looking at her. They both looked confused and upset, and she felt really bad for causing Martin and his 'mini-me' to feel so upset. Louisa had no choice but to bend over and kiss James' cheek and then Martin's lips! She hoped that two of them would forgive her outburst.

"Right." Martin was still a bit taken back at the quick change in her mood and the fact that she apologized to him and decided it could only be due to raging hormones. He'll need to be a bit more careful in monitoring her daily. She didn't know it, but he made a chart on his computer where he recorded every little detail of Louisa's pregnancy. He updated it every single morning. He recorded her heartrate, Blood pressure, what food she ate, what her mood was, how she looked – everything. Since it would be his first pregnancy where he'd be fully personally involved, he found it extremely fascinating! He wanted to learn as much as possible from it. It might proof helpful in his surgery as well, maybe he'll be more understanding with all the pregnant women in future.

Martin and Louisa played with James for a little while longer. She loved the way the three of them spend the evening, on the floor, together. She realised that in a couple of months, James will have to share his mommy and daddy with a new baby, so they really only had a little more time with him. Time goes by so fast, so she will try her best to have many more evenings like this before the new baby comes.

James started yawning and that was Louisa's queue that he was ready for bed. She picked him up and carried him upstairs, while softly singing to him.

Martin was left alone with just his thoughts and whilst he was picking up all James' toys and play mat, he thought about his session with Dr Alan.

He was revisiting his childhood briefly. Remembering how different it was to what James was experiencing daily in this very house. Louisa was a fantastic mother to James. The complete opposite of Margaret Ellingham. Where Margaret was a weak woman that depended solely on his farther, Louisa was quite the opposite!

After their non-wedding, she decided to leave her beloved village because of him. Then Louisa found out she was pregnant. She was in a city she didn't like, at a new school, hormonal and sick, '37 and alone' she told him. He can only imagine how hard it must have been for her, but she never once considered an abortion. He would never have known if she did. Paying close attention to what she was going through this pregnancy, gave him a slight indication at what she must have gone through those first 6 months alone in London! God, she is so strong! Then that stupid horrid 'friend' of hers, told her off and she was without a job. How humiliating that must have been, he can only imagine. She had no choice but to come back. And when she did, she was faced telling him her 'wonderful' news and his reaction was probably the worst thing she had to face. She had to go through all that inner fights and stood tall every day, not flinching as the village tongues wagged on her!

She is fiercely independent. She never expected any money from him, whilst his mother only stuck by his father until he had no money left. And then expected him to fill in the gap when his father left her nothing!

Margaret Ellingham wore only designer clothes and was driven around in only the best cars. Louisa made everything she wore look like designer clothes, and she don't even own a car anymore! And then there was the house! With her stubborn independence they almost didn't buy it!

NO Louisa Glasson Ellingham was Nothing like Margaret Ellingham, thank the heavens for that!

Margaret was a materialistic, shallow narcissistic horrible woman who should never have had a child as she was a cold hearted witch.

By the way Louisa interacted with James, constantly speaking to him, singing, reading and playing it was clear that she loved him, really loved him. He can never imagine her telling her son that he was unwanted and unloved!

Louisa was everything that Margaret was not! James was such a lucky boy, and the new baby will be too. He felt an enormous sense of pride as he managed to somehow got that loving wonderful woman upstairs to marry him, and have no less than 2 children with him. His life really turned out quite marvellous. With Dr Alan's help he was determined to ensure all 4 of them will have a wonderful life going forward! He realised that that was probably the reason Dr Alan asked him to write and read his story, to make him realise what he had and how different it is now. He was one lucky bugger!

Later that evening, while lying in bed, Martin on his back as usual, Louisa curled up to him. She thought again about the very beautiful message that Martin send her earlier. She still felt very emotional thinking about it. She lightly touched his hair, running her fingers through it and brushed her fingers over his ear. Her hand wondered down to his chest where she made little circles while she leaned in with her head and started kissing his neck. She heard him swallow hard, but he didn't move. Her hand moved down to his stomach and she did the same there, whilst using her tongue to trace the outline of his ear! She then moved her hand to the part she wanted a reaction from and was excited to feel his arousal. She kissed him hard in his neck and at that point Martin couldn't take her teasing anymore.

It was a very emotional session for them both. Louisa felt an ache in her heart that she couldn't explain, but she was sure it was sheer and utter love. Martin poured all the emotions he felt throughout the day onto Louisa! It was a night neither would ever forget. It was a lot different than usual, but in a good way. Neither would ever call it the best sex ever, as this could not be classified under any caption. It was soul baring and very emotional. Louisa felt tears running down her face and after falling back on his own pillow; Martin also had to quickly sweep his hands over his eyes to get rid of the moisture. He drew her close to him and held her very tightly. No words were spoken at all, but they both felt exactly what the other one was 'saying'. They never felt more close to each other than that night. It was the best feeling ever! They finally fell asleep holding on to each other as if they'd never let go!


	25. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Janice arrived at 12:00 on the dot.

"Afternoon Mrs. Ellingham, Hi there little man!" Janice reached for James and picked him up to give him a hug. Louisa was really glad that Janice stuck with them for so long, and that she and James got along so good. He was a handful these days, but Janice was more than capable of keeping him busy.

"Oh, hi Janice. Listen, I want to thank you again for being able to come and help us out on a Saturday of all days. But today is really the only time for us to do this, or we will never move to the new house. You're a lifesaver."

"It's my pleasure; I really don't mind spending time with the most handsome guy in town." James liked Janice a lot and he gave her one of his sweetest grins which only made her hug him tighter.

"I already prepared lunch, so if you want, you can give it to him now, I will just wait for Martin to finish with his last patient, then we can have a quick bite before we'll head on over to the house."

Louisa had a very busy morning. She made sure that she packed everything they needed for whatever needed to be done at the house. She didn't want to forget a single thing, and made endless trips to the car as she constantly remembered something else. They simply had to do as much as possible at the house today and she hoped that she would be able to convince Martin about Ben. It's only two weeks till the end of Autumn Term, and then it will be Christmas and this year she wants to spend Christmas in their own, brand new house! If Ben was able to paint their house in 2 weeks, they would be able to move in and settle Just before Christmas. And that was what's she's working towards.

Martin finally came and after a quick lunch, they left in the fully stocked Lexus.

Martin unlocked the front door and the smell that hit them wasn't very nice. They quickly opened as many windows as they could.

Louisa stood in the middle of the living room, hands on her hips with a delightful smile on her face. Her hair was in a ponytail and her cheeks were a little flushed with excitement! Her eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. She had jeans on and a loose fitting red t-shirt. Red always suited her so well, weather it was a tight fit dress, a cardigan or simply a t-shirt. She looked fantastic and Martin was openly staring at her! He walked over to her, and bend over to place a soft lingering kiss on her inviting lips.

"You" … he cleared his throat and wondered why it was hard to tell her something nice. "…look very beautiful, Louisa!" His voice was so soft that she almost didn't hear what he said as he barely moved his lips away from hers when he spoke. His eyes were close to hers and it felt like it was penetrating her soul. She literally felt weak in her knees and swallowed hard. "Thank you Martin, but this is almost the oldest clothes in my closet and might I add, their feeling a little tight around the butt. You, Doctor, should have also changed as putting up blinds and curtains in your best suit, is not advisable." She looked up in his eyes and even though it sounded like a reprimand, her eyes and face were soft and…well, just lovely.

"I don't have other clothes. This will just have to do." Martin shrugged his shoulders and Louisa grabbed onto his arm as he turned to walk away from her.

"You should really consider getting some informal pants and shirts. You know you are allowed to wear something other than a suit occasionally, right? Especially at home. Well, at least take off your jacket and tie and roll up your sleeves. Here, let me help" and with that she slipped her hands under his jacket and pulled it off. Then she got hold of his tie, loosened it and pulled it over his head. She took both items, walked to the kitchen and placed it on a cupboard. When she came back Martin was still standing at the exact same spot. So she walked over and started rolling up his sleeves.

"There we go. All better. Now, let's get started before I start to enjoy undressing you too much and then we might not get anything done, hhmm?" She looked up at him and he felt like his heart could explode at any minute. Well not only his heart, of course.

He cleared his throat and said: "Right. In which room shall we start?"

After three hours of nonstop hanging and shifting, which Martin insisted on doing on his own, Louisa called for a break. She could see Martin was hot, flushed and exhausted, which was clearly helped on by his lack of appropriate clothes. This was not something he did every day, and it was really hard on him. Even though he is very fit and healthy, it was still not part of his everyday routine and she was sure he will feel the effects in the morning! He didn't allow her to do much, just asked what she needed to be hang where and what needed to be moved and just did it! He was a real trooper. She felt really bad for not being able to help that much, but he said she's still at a vital stage in her pregnancy and should not be shifting anything heavy. She knew better than to disobey him, as that would probably only lead to a lecture, or even worse, something bad could actually happen and she would never forgive herself if it did.

She went to the kitchen and got two bottles of water that she packed in for the day and an apple for each as well. Martin was still in their bedroom as that was the last curtains they hang, and Martin moved their new bed and things as Louisa wanted it.

When she entered the bedroom Martin was standing in front of the window looking at the beautiful view they will have. She walked over to him, handed him his water and apple and just stood next to him, silently admiring it all while they quenched their thirst and had a quick bite. "I cannot wait for us to live here, Martin." Louisa's voice was soft, wishful, longing. She still cannot believe that they are here. Not just here, in this beautiful house, but also here, in their lives. They really had a tough journey so far, nothing easy about it, but they arrived. Soon, really soon, they'll be living here, and then their lives together can really start.

Martin watched her for a minute or two and said: "I cannot wait for the endless nights we will spend together in this room, in that bed. " He looked at her with such love in his eyes, that she nearly started crying.

To hide away her emotions, she made a little joke to cover up. "Doctor Ellingham! Since when do you talk about things like that? You are getting cheeky!" She leaned over and gave him a little peck on the mouth. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close to him.

"Well what do you expect when you insist on looking so beautiful?" He leaned in and whispered the last words in her ear as he was afraid that she would see all the emotions displayed in his eyes! "And with the view out there and the view in here, you can hardly blame me."

Louisa wanted to keep the mood light and tried again to make a joke about it. "And here I thought I married a man that was completely different than all other men, only to discover he also only have one thing on his mind." She laughed softly while she stood close to Martin, Pressing her body against his. She felt Martin's desires pressed against her stomach and when she looked up into his eyes she saw love and lust in his. She hastily took him by his arm and dragged him towards the bed that was still only covered with plastic and pushed him on it quite hard! She jumped on him and started unbuttoning his shirts, removing it quite fast. Then she started losing his belt and zipper.

Martin jumped up holding Louisa in his lap and said with clear disgust written all over his face. "Louisa! You cannot honestly expect us to…uhm…you know…. on this filthy plastic! God knows how many dirty hands touched it!"

Louisa loosened Martin grip on her, dropped her legs to the ground and stepped back. "Well, you better make a plan then, real quickly, yeah?" She gave him a grin, while she nodded with her head towards the bed.

He was clueless for a second or two, but finally caught on. He went to the bed and viciously ripped of the plastic. He bundled it all together in some sort of roll and tossed it in the corner. He rushed to the bathroom, washed his hands and hurried back to the room where Louisa looked at him with a huge smile on her face.

He went over to her, and pulled her close again. Her hands started to loosen his belt and in a swift movement, she pulled it off. Next she loosened his zipper and pushed his pants to the floor. He gave a small step out if it, and was now standing only in his underpants.

"Uhm, Mrs. Ellingham, it seems you are slightly overdressed?" Martin looked at her with one eye brow raised?

Louisa threw her head back and laughed while she pulled her red top over her head and also very quickly unbuttoned her jeans and got rid of them. She stood in front of Martin with only her underwear on and he had to practice real self-control not to simply rip off her bra and nickers. He looked down at her belly, which was only slightly showing signs of a pregnancy. He reached and slowly ran his fingers across her stomach before he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. His skill full hands undid her bra in no time and he saw how her breast fell free from their entrapment. They were marvellous. He started kissing them while his hands moved to take down her panties. She was breath-taking. Martin reached up and pulled on the elastic that held her hair up and it fell loosely over her shoulders. He could smell the fresh lovely scent of her shampoo. She gave him a smile while she said: "Dr Ellingham, you are now way overdressed for this party"

A little while later, while they were still trying to catch their breath, Louisa thought that now might be a great time to talk to Martin about Ben. She must get it sorted today. She turned towards him, while draping her leg over his.

"Martin, I really want to spend Christmas here in our new house this year. I know you really don't care for Christmas that much, but it's really important to me. Last Christmas was….well let's just say it wasn't good, so I want this Christmas to be special as I feel we've come a long way and it feels like this would be our first Christmas as a real family." She played with his hair and she simply looked at him with big expecting eyes. He found that utterly sexy.

A muttered "yes" was all that escaped his tight throat.

"So, we really need to find a painter, right, as that is the only thing keeping us from moving in? Everything else is taken care of. The plumbing and electrical were checked long ago and our new furniture is already starting to gather dust. "

"Yes, everything is sorted but painting. I will try to find a reliable painter in Monday."

"Well, I think I, might have found us a painter." Louisa knew she had to pull out all the stops to get Martin on board. She shifted herself and straddled Martin. She leaned forward and placed her hands on both sides of his shoulders while she leaned over and kissed him softly. Her bare breasts were touching his and her body against his made everything else she was saying sound very distant. Her hair was hanging around both their faces like a curtain. He was only aware of her closeness and beauty.

"Remember the tourist, Ben who came to your surgery for an accident he had fixing a roof? The one me and James met on the beach?" Louisa spoke softly and after she paused she planted another lingering kiss on his lip, slightly biting his bottom lip before she talked again. He could only nod.

"Well Ben is apparently really good at painting houses and fixing them up. While he was staying at the beach cottage he repainted and repaired everything for the owner. So when I mentioned we were looking for a painter, he offered to do it. According to him, the owner was very pleased with his work and he said you could even call the owner for a reference." Louisa shifted herself and was now sitting straight up. She looked at him with big eyes and a beautiful smile. Her fingers were making circles on his stomach and he could only stare again at those marvelous breasts of her. Someone once asked him if he was a breast or bottom man - he was a breast man. They were so fascinating and distractingly wonderful.

Martin had an uneasy feeling in his stomach when he heard Ben's name but with Louisa sitting on top of him, looking like a goddess, he couldn't say much. It was as if his mind registered the warning signs but other parts of his anatomy quickly shut it down. That usually don't happen to him, so this is an unusual feeling.

Louisa saw the frown creeping up on Martin's face and she knew she have to act quickly to keep Martin's attention on her while her tongue persuaded his clouded mind.

"Ben still did not find a place to stay yet and since White Rose Cottage is currently empty, I thought he could rent it. But then he had a great idea. He said he could paint our house and in return, he could stay at white Rose Cottage rent free. Win-win for both of us. So what do you say Martin?

"Uh, I…I… don't think it would be advisable. And did you not say he's a teacher?" Martin tried really hard to concentrate on the conversation as he is starting to realize what Louisa was doing. In one quick movement he shifted her bottom from his torso and got up. He found his scattered clothes and got dressed quickly.

Louisa watched Martin as he got up to get dressed. She knew her original tactic did not work. She thought the powers of her body would work on Martin, but as always, his logical mind took over too quickly. Or maybe she's not grabbing his attention so much anymore. She is not as 'sexy' as she used to be, when Martin first became interested in her. She did have a baby a year and half ago, and she is pregnant again and of course she is almost 39. She suddenly felt very exposed and fragile and drew her knees close to her chest, wrapping her arms around it. Her teeth got hold of her lip and was being severely punished again. She don't know why, but her eyes started filling up, and at that moment, Martin turned around, with her clothes in his hands, fully dressed.

Martin, who was deep in thought about Louisa's suggestion, didn't even realize that Louisa got awfully quiet while he dressed. He only had to give her one look to see that she was not a happy camper at that very moment as big awful tears started dripping down her cheeks. He was defenseless against tears.

Did he say something wrong again? He hardly said a word. How can this be? He thought they were quite happy today. They just did…

"Louisa, why in the world are you crying? Did I say something wrong?" He sat next to her, unsure if he was to touch her or not. The way she was crying, all wrapped up in herself made her look like as small fragile girl that got hurt falling down. It felt like someone punched him hard in his heart as he had a huge ache seeing her like this.

"I'm sorry" said Louisa as she tried to control the tears that kept coming and she honestly don't know why she was crying so terribly. Maybe it was the realization of lost powers or did she even have any powers at all when it comes to Martin? Or was it the realization that they might never find someone to paint this blasted house so they could move in? "I just really had my heart set on moving in before Christmas…and Ben seemed like the perfect solution to a problem. It's been weeks, since we bought the house and we're not moving forward. I feel that you don't want us to move in. Is that it, Martin?" Louisa started sobbing loudly now.

Martin moved closer and took his beautiful, naked, sobbing wife and pulled her very close into his arms. "Of course I want to move here, with you, and James. There is absolutely nothing I want more! Why would you even think that? These last couple of weeks have been quite busy." He let out a sigh and took a big breath.

"If you really want to and we absolutely can't find any other capable person in this god forsaken village, we can ask the tourist to paint, in exchange for rent. But I will deal with him. I want you to leave it to me. You can tell me which colors are for which rooms and I'll make sure he gets the job done. And I _will_ call that owner of that cottage to get a thorough reference on him before he sets foot in this house. I have his details at the surgery, I will call him Monday."

Louisa just cuddled deeper into Martin's embrace and they sat like that for a couple of minutes more. It was Martin who broke the silence and the cuddle. "I think you should get dressed now. We still have a couple of things we need to take care of and we only have one more hour left before Jenny wants to go home." He handed her her clothes and she reluctantly got up while saying "Janice, Martin, Ja-Nice! At least you got the first letter right." She gave him a small smile and dressed herself. She used her hands to rake through her hair and tied it back again. Martin was standing in front of the window again, and when Louisa was done dressing and straightening herself, she walked up to him and put her arms around his waist from behind. "Thank you and I am really sorry for earlier." She turned Martin around and reached up to give him a kiss. "I am really glad we got to…uh…christen the bed." She grinned a bit and Martin felt a blush creeping up his neck, spreading to his cheeks.

"Yes, it was … good"

A _/N: Thanks a Million to each and everyone for sticking with me for so long! Your kind reviews are more than generous!_


	26. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

On Sunday Martin called the number that the tourist gave him. He arranged to meet him on Monday morning at 07:30 to get the colours and things sorted. He also told him that he can come by later in the day to collect the keys to White Rose Cottage. His final request was for the number of the owner of the cottage he did some maintenance work for. Ben mentioned that he wasn't in town at the moment but will come later in the afternoon. And with that everything was arranged.

However, when Ben knocked on the surgery door late Sunday, it was Louisa who opened the door as Martin got a call out to one of the surrounding farmers who apparently had an accident.

"Louisa! How are you? I am here for your husband. He said I could collect the Cottage keys from him this afternoon. I was over the moon when he called me this morning to arrange everything. "Ben's whole face was showing his excitement. He's extraordinary blue eyes sparkled like a child's at Christmas time. And his smile…oh, that smile could light up a whole village at night!

"What a surprise. Please, do come in. Martin told me he'd call you to arrange everything, but I didn't realise he already did. He also didn't mention you coming to collect the keys. Please come in, he's currently out on a house call. Care for some tea?" She opened the door and invited him in with a smile and together they walked through the living room where James was standing holding on to a chair. He and his mommy were playing in the living room when there was a knock on the door. When Ben saw him, he rushed over and picked him up, swinging him around like an airplane!

"Hallo James! You are getting so big! I didn't know you are walking! Must be giving your mom and dad some grey hairs? "He put James down next to the chair helping him to stand again. James liked this friendly man. It seems he knew how to handle babies. He had a friendly face and James liked the way he talked to him. James felt he surely deserved a big smile and he said "mum" while pointing at Louisa. Ben scrunched his nose and said: "Yes, that's your Mum. And your dad, where's he?"

James frowned a little and then said: "Daddy out. Daddy Out." He pointed to the door and then looked at Louisa with a proud grin.

"Ah Louisa, he's so clever! Time really flies, doesn't it? Can hardly believe how long it's been since I saw the two of you on the beach! Now he walking and talking. Such a big boy."

"Oh, he's a busy little one lately. We do have our hands full, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I normally tell him that daddy's out when Martin is called out, so I guess that's where he gets that little sentence from. "Louisa looked at James with clear motherly love written all over her face.

Ben got lost in memory for a moment. A clear vision of his wife and son played in his mind.

It was the Sunday before that awful Friday. He was out in the Lapa. He had some chicken and chops on the Weber and Belinda – or Bells as he liked to call her - was in the kitchen busy making garlic bread and potato salad. His favourite! When he came in to collect the casserole to put in the meat, he saw this exact same look on Bell's face. Their 2 year old son were playing on the ground with some cars and building blocks. She was clearly busy mixing the potatoes, mayonnaise and eggs for the salad as she was standing with the wooden spoon in her one hand and the bowl in the other. But it was the look on her face that made him stop and stare at her. Her long dark hair was hanging loosely over her shoulders. Her green eyes were fixed on their son and you could just see how much she loved him by the expression in her eyes and on her whole face. It was the single most fantastic moment of his entire life. Like Louisa, she's always been a very beautiful woman, the resemblance between them are unnatural.

He and Bells stood like that for a couple of minutes, transfixed – he was lost in the beauty of his wife; she lost in awe of their perfect son. Much as he was now. If he only knew that it would have been one of their last precious moments spend together, he would have treasured it more! He would have told her how much he loved them both, hugged and kissed them more. He would have never left them alone…ever.

Louisa saw the gaze in Ben's eyes, and she knew that he was lost for a moment. "Ben are you all right?" She walked over to him, and lightly touched his shoulder. Her touch brought him back to reality. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Jip" was all he managed to get out as his voice trembled. His heart was aching and he wished he could hold this woman close, just to make the pain go away a little bit. But…she's NOT Belinda. He must remember that.

Louisa took James' hand and helped him as he unsteadily walked with her to the kitchen. She made him stand next to his high chair. He looked around to find something to do. Ben came into the kitchen as Louisa put on the kettle.

"Tea then?" Louisa wanted Ben to feel relaxed as she was sure that he might have had a memory about his wife and son – his DEAD wife and son, and the flashback might not have been a good memory or maybe it was. She wish she knew what happened to them, it would make it easier to talk to Ben. When they met on the beach he said they passed away six months ago. So by now it must be close to 9 months and with Christmas approaching, it must be difficult.

"Thanks, it will be great. It's quite cold out today, isn't it? I heard over the radio that some seriously bad weather are in store for the next couple of weeks leading up to Christmas. Do you get snow here in Portwenn over Christmas?" Ben pulled out a chair and made himself comfortable as Louisa set the cups. James walked over to him holding on to anything he can find, until he reached Ben's chair. He tugged on his pants and without even thinking, Ben picked James up and settled him on his lap. James was happy to get the attention. He just stared up at Ben.

"O Gosh, yes! I told you before the weather around here gets quite nasty. We have terrible storms and snow! The locals are quite used to it, but we barely see any tourist this time of the year. You are one of a rare few." The kettle whistled and Louisa filled their cups with steaming hot water. She placed the milk and sugar in front of Ben, and just in time remembered to move it a little further as James nearly got hold of it. She shook her head and gave him a little grin. "You almost had me James." She filled his sippy cup with some warm milk and handed it to him. He leaned back against Ben's chest and looked quite happy and relaxed.

"Well, since you're here now, I might as well tell you about all the colours for the different rooms. Martin said I should tell him, and he will tell you…but since you're here now, I can show you all the colour templates and pictures as I stored them on my laptop. Martin left it to me to decide the colours for each room." She stood up to go get her laptop but stopped in the doorway. "That is, if you have a moment or two. Sorry, I am babbling and just assumed you don't have plans."

"No, no, I don't have any plans, apart from collecting my clothes from the pub and moving into the Cottage. But I think it will be best if you could show me which paint goes with which room. Will safe Doctor Ellingham a trip tomorrow morning. And I can get started bright and early. I am sure you don't want to waste any more time."

"Thanks Ben I really appreciate our arrangement. Excuse me for a second, I'll just go get my things."

Louisa was back in a flash and soon the table was scattered with colour samples and such. James got tired and fell asleep on Ben's lap without either adult realising it as they were in deep discussion.

When Martin Ellingham entered through his kitchen door an hour later, he was shocked to his core to find the tourist in his kitchen, happily chatting to his wife, with his son sound asleep on Ben's lap!

"What are you doing here? Did I not say that I was to meet you at half 7 Monday morning?" Martin looked with fire in his eyes from Ben, to Louisa, to James. Martin's loud voice has woken up James and when he saw his daddy, he reached for him saying "Daddy Up". Martin walked towards Ben and quickly took his son from Ben's lap. Ben, now being able to move freely, got up quickly and started walking towards the door.

"I apologize Doctor Ellingham. I only came by to collect the key for the Cottage. Louisa said it made sense for us to quickly discuss the colour combinations for each room. I really did not mean to impose. But we are finished; Louisa explained it all so everything is clear."

"Of course she did." Martin said through grinding teeth. He and James turned around and Martin went to the surgery to go put down his medical bag. How dare this person invade his house? He will have this out with Louisa. She cannot just invite any scoundrel off the streets into their home.

Louisa was dumb struck with Martin's rudeness and reaction towards Ben. She felt really bad. It's been quite a while since he lashed out at someone in front of her like that. She still heard the odd complaint about Martin from his patients, but it was more isolated these last couple of weeks. She thought he changed his habits and that the villagers understood Martin better, therefor the down scale in incidents. Maybe she was just blinded by the happiness she felt these last couple of weeks.

Louisa stood at the kitchen door while Ben was on his way out. "Ben, I am truly sorry! Martin can be a bit …difficult to understand at times, please don't take it personal. I, for one, am very glad that we were able to sort things out. Please don't hesitate to call me any time if you have any other questions. I will try to come around during the week to see the progress. I am really excited." She tried giving Ben one of her biggest smiles in the hope that he won't decide to rather let this project go.

"No Worries Louisa. I can understand his point." He smiled and gave her a wink. And with that he disappeared around the corner.

Louisa closed the door firmly and walked through the house to find Martin. She had to make it clear that his behaviour towards Ben was not acceptable. That is a step backwards and she's not prepared to go back again, never.

She found the two Ellingham's in the bathroom. Martin was running James' bath. The moment she stepped into the bathroom, Martin could feel the tension and when he looked at her, he knew that he was right as her eyes were two flaming balls of lava! What now? Why does it look like she is spitting fire? He's the one that should be upset because his wife invites strangers into his house, cuddling his son!

"Mar-Tin. The way you spoke to Ben was totally uncalled for! I do not appreciate your rudeness towards people. I thought we had this conversation before. And what a fool I've been believing it was going better, but you've shown tonight that old habits die hard, right?"

"I asked him to meet me at the house, tomorrow, to discuss the colours. And I told you that I'd be the one dealing with him. And yet the both of you insist on ignoring my specific request. As usual, no one ever listens to anything I say!

Louisa was now in full fight mode, eyes blazing, chin raised and challenging expression on her face.

"You also told Ben to come around today to collect the keys for the Cottage. That's why he was here."

Martin was also not backing down from this fight. He don't appreciate the fact that Louisa was standing up for Ben, when she should be siding with him. He did nothing wrong.

"I find it very convenient that he only showed up when I was called out to an emergency, don't you think?" Martin turned around to close the tap. James was just looking at the both of them with big eyes, not sure what to make of this.

"When he arrived he clearly asked for you, Martin. He did not know you've been called out. He only came by since you said he could." Louisa did not like the direction this conversation was heading. With Martin, everything was always black or white, never grey. He never saw the areas that was uncontrolled by circumstances. It was either right or wrong.

After feeling if the water was the correct temperature, he stood up, looked Louisa in the eyes and said. "Right." He took James and walked past her towards the nursery to collect clean Pyjamas for his son.

Louisa felt very frustrated and after a loud "urgh" she turned around and decided to rather go for a walk to cool down, since Martin was already busy preparing James for his bath.

When Martin put James in the bath, he heard the Kitchen door slam.

Yes, old habits die hard, he thought.

An hour later Martin settled James in his bed, and was reading him some silly book that James picked out. They always let James pick which story he wanted to hear. He mostly went for the one about the red fire engine. By now, both Martin and Louisa could 'read' that story in their sleep. While he was busy reading, Louisa suddenly appeared in the doorway of the nursery. He looked up and felt relieve wash over him. She came back! He did not even hear her come in, but he was so glad that's she's safely back home. He checked and saw that James was asleep. He made sure he was covered properly before he turned to leave. Louisa was still standing in the doorway. He stopped just in front of her, looking into her eyes, which looked nothing like before, wondering what to do. Louisa moved a little closer and hugged him around his waist, burying herself against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and they stood there for a minute or two, neither saying a single word.

The Ben situation wasn't resolved; it was just ignored for the moment. They just found comfort in each other, everything else was irrelevant for the time being.

A/N: THANKS again to all the wonderful Reviews! You are really kind.


	27. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

On Monday morning, right after Louisa left and Janice took James, Martin went to his office to call the cottage owner for a reference on Ben.

After 3 rings, the telephone was picked up. "Smith speaking, good morning" The voice on the other side clearly belonged to an elderly male, asthmatic.

After Louisa returned last night, neither of them said a word about Ben, however, Martin decided that he would still call for a reference. There was no way he was to let the tourist do any work on his house without it.

"Good morning Mr Smith. This is Doctor Ellingham from Portwenn. I am calling with regards to a Ben van der Walt? He claimed to have done some repairs on your beach cottage?"

"Oh, morning doctor. Has anything happened to Ben, is he alright? He had a nasty cut on his leg when he left here." His voice sounded troubled, but Martin also detected breathlessness in Mr Smith's voice.

"Yes, he's fine. I took care of his wound. He mentioned that I could contact you for a reference. He told us that he did some repairs on your beach cottage. He offered to do the same for our house that we recently bought."

"I am glad to hear that he went to see a doctor." More heavy breathing before the man continued. "Ben did a marvellous job at my beach cottage. I neglected the place a bit, especially since I don't go there often these days. But his work was brilliant. I barely recognised it after he painted and repaired everything. It looks brand new. And it worked out great that he did not ask for cash, only to stay a little longer. Since the wife became ill, we are kind off strapped for cash, you know. We depend on the income we get from the cottage, and now that it looks like a new place, we can even ask a little more. I would definitely hire him if I was you Doctor. He's a good sort. Trustworthy and honest. Shame about his wife and …son, though. No man… deserves that!" The last two sentences sounded strained, with heavy breathing.

"Thank you for the reference." Martin wanted to end the call, but decided to give his own bit of advice before he rang off. "Mr Smith, I suggest you use your inhaler more often, or ask your GP to re-evaluate your current one as your breathing are tremendously strained."

"What inhaler? I am perfectly healthy. Just a bit breathless from the walk. I don't use any medication, haven't been to the Doctor in over a year."

"Mr Smith! I don't even know you, but can clearly hear that you are struggling to breathe! I cannot believe that you have not been diagnosed with asthma and aren't using an inhaler. Please make an appointment with your GP _immediately_. Good Bye." Martin shook his head. Imbecile. Guess it's not just Portwenn residence that are stubborn and stupid! It's a Cornwall epidemic.

Well, at least Mr Smith put his mind at ease a little about Ben. He hoped the man kept to himself though. Do the job and get on with it. He still didn't trust him with Louisa and James, no matter what. Men like that can't be trusted. Mr Smith mentioned something about Ben's wife and son, but as usual, he didn't pay much attention to the words when he heard the man struggling for air. He didn't even know Ben had a wife and child. Why was he hobnobbing here in Portwenn, being all cosy with _**his**_ wife and son when he has his own?

Yes, men like those can't be trusted around his wife. She's just too beautiful and his son was just too precious. And the worst part is that she don't even see it. She's so spontaneous and friendly with everyone. She don't realise the looks she gets when she walks into a room, or down the street in the village. The stares that often followed her, raised the hair in his neck. He used to be one of those that could only stare. He still struggled to believe that she married _**him**_. He's never going to be like the Ben's of life. She once said that he is not exactly Mr Hearts and flowers! He must remember to tell Dr Alan that. Maybe he can…learn. He have to, if he wants to keep his wife happy. Especially with men like Ben around. She did like the flowers he send a couple of weeks ago. Maybe he could do that again?

He heard Morwenna come through the door and with a "Goo-Mornin' Doc" she sat down at her desk.

"First Patient!" he shouted before starting his day.

X X X

As Head Louisa had a lot on her plate currently. With a mere two weeks to autumn break, and then another two till Christmas, there were a thousand and one things to do at school. The end of term tests were in full swing and also the Christmas play, which she planned and choreographed for the night before the school closed. Every single child must have a spot, as she didn't want anyone to feel excluded. She and her colleagues had to pull extra hours every day to fit everything in and just took a bite on the go through lunch breaks as well. When she went home, she took piles of marking that had to be finished as well. Martin was watching her with a hawk eye. He still packed her a lunch box every day, but saw that the contents often came home, only half eaten. That worried him a lot and he raised his concerns more than once, only to be scolded by Louisa.

On Wednesday, however, she was able to leave school at the normal time. When she arrived home, Janice and James was just on their way to the beach, so she let them be and decided to head up to the new house to see if there was any progress yet.

Since Sunday, she and Martin didn't speak about the house really. Well, they didn't speak about anything much since then. They completed their daily jobs and when she arrived home, Martin already started dinner, and then she would take up James for his bath. After dinner, spend mostly in silence, they played a bit with James, and then Martin took him up to read his bed time story, while Louisa busied herself with school work till very late. Martin retreated again to his office, he mentioned that Dr Alan gave him a new assignment. Things were slightly drifting into their old – bad - habits, but due to the fact that Louisa was so pre-occupied with the tests and school play, she hardly recognised the signs. At night they both were exhausted and with a hastily kiss and 'good night', they would turn away from one another.

Although Martin said that he was to deal with Ben and the work done at the new house, she just wanted to check in to see how it looked so far. She had some test papers to mark later in the evening, so now was the best time. She didn't know when she'd be able to have a look at the progress at the house again due to her busy schedule. She went to the surgery to see if Martin maybe had an empty spot – highly unlikely though – maybe he could walk with her. But Morwenna told her that Martin was called out to attend to one of his elderly patients at High Trees. She had to reschedule some patients, which meant that Martin would finish surgery late. Louisa shrugged her shoulders and took off.

When she arrived at the new house – which still needed a name she thought – she didn't see Ben. But she could smell the all familiar smell of fresh paint, so she knew he must be around. So she went upstairs.

She passed James's room, which was painted already in a soft light blue. It looked exactly as she imagined it. She 'planned' the décor to the finest detail … she was sure James will love his room. She left James' room and went to their bedroom. The room was nearly done. Only a little spot at the door entrance still needed painting. It looked brilliant! The colour she chose was just right. She couldn't wait till it was done, so they could move in. She was about to call for Ben when he came from their bathroom.

He looked terrible. His cheeks were tear-stained and his eyes were two blue pools of endless sorrow. A look of total devastation covered his face.

"Ben?" Louisa spoke very softly, she didn't want to startle him.

He didn't answer her, just gave her an intense stare for a couple of seconds, then breathed loudly and she saw a fresh batch of tears running down his cheek. He walked over to the window of their bedroom.

"Are you all right?" She walked up to the window and stood beside him, lightly touching his arm.

He cleared his throat, and took a deep breath again before he spoke. "It's Bells' birthday today. Her mother just called me."

Louisa wasn't sure, but assumed that his wife's name was Bells? "Was that your wife?" She hoped that he didn't feel as if she's intruding in his personal life. So far she only knew that he lost his wife and son, nothing more.

"Yes, her name was Belinda. I used to call her Bells. She would have been 30 today." All of the sudden his shoulders shook as he started to sob loudly! His knees gave way and he sat down flat on his bottom on the floor.

Louisa, being the compassionate, emotional, caring person she was, immediately bend down and took Ben in her arms. "O Ben, I am so sorry. This must be the worse day. You should have taken the day off. There was no need for you to come in on a day like this." Louisa sat next to Ben, wrapping her arms around him. It was such a sad moment to see this grown man down on the floor, crying. She felt tears running down her own cheeks, even though she didn't even know why. She don't really know Ben, and she definitely didn't know his wife, but keeping your emotions in control at a moment like this, seemed impossible.

After a minute or two, she softly let go and managed to wipe away her own tears. Ben's loud crying also stopped and he stared at an invisible spot on the floor.

"We made endless amounts of jokes last year at her birthday, when she turned 29. How it's her last year in her twenties before she would enter the 'dirty-thirties'. She said that we shouldn't even celebrate her thirtieth birthday, and I said I was going to throw her a huge party!" There was a little silence and when he talked again, you could hear the pain in his voice. "I would give my own life if it meant that she could celebrate her birthday again. I miss her so much! I tried really hard to stay calm today, started working early this morning as I was planning to ensure that both this room and the bathroom was finished, just to ensure I get through this day, but her mother called me just before you arrived. It was good to hear her voice, but painful at the same time. My own mom and dad called early this morning before I left to start the day.

I don't regret coming to England when I did, but today I really miss home. I should have been on the farm today, with my family." He stood up and helped Louisa up as well. Then he went to the bathroom and washed his face. When he returned to the bedroom, Louisa stood in front of the open window.

The late afternoon sun was shining brightly over Portwenn, and she was mesmerized with the amazing view. How did she get so lucky? She had a devoted, caring husband, a gorgeous son and they would soon live in this magnificent house. She was also blessed by being pregnant with a second baby! In that very same room stood a man who lost it all. She can't imagine her life if something happened to Martin - she realised that when he went missing, it hit her quite hard in the gut when she realised it - and she would really go bodmin if something should happen to James. She felt such compassion for what Ben must be going through. It must really be a difficult day for him.

When Ben came back from the bathroom he saw Louisa standing in front of the window. The sunlight was streaming through the window and the light hit Louisa's face at a perfect angle. Her hair glimmered as the beams played on it and her eyes took a different shade of green - she was looking exceptionally beautiful! Something just cracked in Ben. He walked over to Louisa, turned her around and fiercely started kissing her – for about 5 seconds before he felt a sharp pain hit his groin! That shocked him back to reality and he looked up at a very shocked Louisa before he folded double in pain. God, that was painful, but he guess he deserved the kick to the groin.

"Ben! I know it must be an emotional day for you, and that would be the _only_ reason I would forgive you, but it was totally unacceptable! It's the second time you invaded my personal space. There won't be a third. I feel terrible that you have to be alone today, but I can't trust you. Therefore I won't come around here anymore alone. Martin was right, he should be the one dealing with this from now on." Louisa turned to walk out, but Ben grabbed her arm lightly preventing her from rushing out.

"Louisa, there is no words to emphasize how sorry I am. Today's one of the worst days of my life. Apart from … it's no excuse, I know. But…" Ben paused for a while, held one finger in the air as a sign that she must hold on for a minute, while he searched for his phone. He browsed through some photos while he talked "…life has played a devilish trick on me. I hope you understand my reactions towards you, especially today, if you look at this picture of my wife." Ben showed her the photo on his phone. As she took the phone and looked at the screen, she turned pale and barely made it to the bed to sit down. Louisa stared at a photo that looked as if it was taken of _her_ some 7, maybe 8 years ago! How is this possible? The woman looked a lot like her! Yes, there was a difference in the shape of her nose and she had two deep dimples in her cheeks, but apart from that, they could have been twins. She looked at Ben, with disbelieve, only shaking her head lightly.

"I know, it's very hard to believe that two people not remotely related to each other, could look so much alike. Imagine my shock when I saw you the first time on the beach. I was standing there for a very long time before you noticed me. A hundred and one thoughts ran through my head. When you told me you stayed in Portwenn, I first decided to make sure that I stay as far away as possible, but after weeks alone in the cottage, I longed to see you again, purely because of the resemblance."

Louisa was finally able to speak again. "This is …odd. Have you shown any one else yet?"

"No." Ben bowed his head.

Louisa thought for a moment or two and decided to ask the inevitable. "What happened to your wife and son?" It was hardly more than a whisper. She hoped Ben wouldn't take offence, but she must know.

Ben took both his hands and buried his face in it for a couple of seconds before he wiped it clear from his face. He walked to the window again and started talking.

"After we got married, we moved from our small town, to Pretoria as there would be a lot more opportunities for the both of us in the city. Bells was an English teacher and as you know, I am a Math teacher. Shortly after our move, Bells found out she was pregnant. We were ecstatic, but a little scared. I think if we knew earlier about the pregnancy, we would have stayed in town rather than move to the city. But we made our choices, so we decided to stick with it. After our son, BJ, was born, life was just great. We loved where we stayed and we loved our jobs.

However, one Friday morning…or rather THE Friday morning I had to leave at five in the morning as my rugby team was to play another team very from us. When I left, Bells hugged and kissed me and said: "Ben, I have a very uneasy feeling about today. Please, be careful and drive safe. BJ and I need you to come back safe!" I just nodded and said, "Love you, Bells" and I left.

Ben stopped for a moment, as if to gather strength for the next part. He took a big breath and slowly let it out, before he continued.

"At 07:10 I received a call from my mother, who asked how far I was from home, as I needed to come back urgently, something terrible happened to Belinda. I felt my world tumbling. I nearly lost control over my car as I slammed on the brakes. Everything around me turned black and I felt nauseous and vomited.

I arrived back in Pretoria in record time. When I arrived at my house, I saw police cars and an ambulance. My parents and mother in law were standing next to the gate. By the look on my mother, father and mother-in-law's faces I knew I was too late. They were all crying and when I rushed over, my father hugged me tightly and said sorry.

My mother told me what happened.

Apparently Bells and BJ were on their way to school. Bells normally took BJ to day-care before she headed for school. As they were driving out of the drive way, 3 men appeared out of nowhere, opening Bells' door and ripped her out of her seat. One held a gun to her head and demanded the car. She shouted that they can take the car, but they must please allow her to get her son on the back seat that was crying. But he told her NO! She went crazy! She ripped away from her attacker and opened the back door, releasing BJ from his chair. One of the men became too nervous about the shouting and crying and shot Bells in the back. The bullet went straight through her and BJ's hearts as she was holding BJ close to her to try and protect him from the attackers.

Ben stared out of the window, his cheeks were wet again as he re-lived that awful day.

"When the ambulance came, it was too late for both of them. According to bystanders, it was such a sad sight. Bells never let BJ go, even after she was shot and they fell to the ground. He was still wrapped in her arms when the paramedic arrived and declared them dead." Ben's expression changed from complete sadness to anger. "The three men were arrested later in the day. They had endless amounts of criminal records, anything from theft to murder. How they managed to be out of jail at all is still a mystery. They will only appear in court next year February when the trial will begin. I was furious and hurt and angry. I hated my country with all my heart and wanted to get as far away as I could … that's how I ended up in England"

"O Gosh Ben. That is heart-breaking! I am so sorry." Louisa walked over to him and embraced him. After what this man just told her and the picture he showed her, she completely understood why he acted the way he did. It must have been really hard for him to see her especially today of all days. Louisa was sure that she would never be able to go through something like that.

After a couple of minutes just holding Ben, Louisa stepped away from him. "When you were still in South Africa, after … what happened, did you go for counselling?"

"No, my mom suggested it, but I thought it would be better to get away. To a far and foreign land, where all memories would be suppressed. Little did I know … Life is cruel, isn't"

"Yeah … but Ben, I really think you should visit Martin's aunt. She used to be a psychologist, but is retired. Even if you can just talk to her once. I will talk to her and find out if she'd be able to see you. Would you do that?"

"I am not sure. Today was a particularly hard day, but mostly I cope well. I don't think I need it. I just need time …to heal."

"Well, if you change your mind, you can call me. But …" Louisa bit her bottom lip with her teeth …"I think that it would be best if you don't see me that much either. It can't be easy for you and I don't want to cause you unnecessary pain. "

"I understand, especially after what I did today."

"I do understand now why you reacted on it … but it would be better…I think … for all of us. I don't think Martin would understand like I do…or anyone else for that matter. How are you feeling now, will you be ok, can I leave you alone, you won't do something crazy, right?" Louisa looked at Ben with eyebrows raised.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for understanding and I really am sorry." Ben looked at Louisa with pleading eyes. She felt her heart ache for this poor guy. Life was really particularly cruel to him. She gave him one big smile before she turned and left.

Janice and James returned home a bit earlier than anticipated as there was a particularly strong wind blowing from the ocean, so Janice decided to take James home. When she arrived though, Louisa wasn't back from the new house yet, so she decided to take James and walk to the new house. She was sure Louisa would be thrilled to show James around the new house.

When she and James came around the corner, the new house was in full view. But it was what Janice saw that shocked her beyond words. She could not believe her eyes. If someone else told her what she saw just now, she would not have believed them for a minute. There, in the upstairs window, she saw the tourist, Ben, who was to paint the Doc's house, kissing Louisa! For about 3 seconds – which felt more like 3 hours- she was frozen, before she hurriedly turned around and walked back to the surgery!

 _A/N: PLEASE let me know what you think...I really appreciate EVERY single review! and **Thank You** for reading _


	28. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

When Louisa left the house, she felt a bit shaken up. Firstly the story about Ben's family was quite shocking and secondly the kiss from Ben was extremely unexpected. But the most unsettling was the picture of his wife.

She looked at her watch and saw that it was still 45 minutes before Janice would knock off, so she decided to take a left at the road and head for the coastal path. She needed a bit of time to think and get this unsettling feelings out of her mind. She walked until she reached a bench, and sat down.

The view was simply breath-taking, and very soothing. She looked at the whole of Portwenn, the harbour and the ocean. Her wonderful village, with people she knew and loved since she can remember.

She thought about Ben. What would she do if she were to lose her husband and sweet boy? She almost did lose her husband. Maybe not in such a terrible way as Ben lost his wife, but losing is losing, don't really matter how it happens.

She reflected on her and Martin's endless efforts at a relationship in the beginning. And then even after their marriage, the endless amounts of misunderstandings and fights. She thought of the big rows and while reflecting on both of their responses to them, she soon realized that many of them could have been avoided or handled better from her side. Precious time wasted.

Martin started therapy and she was sure he hated every minute of it. But he's doing it for her, and James and even this unborn baby. If she looked back at the last couple of months, so much have changed. Not huge changes, just small, vitally important ones. They feel a lot more comfortable around each other. Apart from a couple of small little rows, which will always be part of the Martin-Louisa combination, they were getting along quite good. But she knew, both of them always felt a little insecure. He will forever fear that she will leave him again, and she …well there is so many things…

The row on Sunday was another story, but she felt she handled it a lot better than she would have in the past. She didn't run away, she merely went for a walk, to calm herself and Martin. When she thought it through, she understood Martin's reaction a bit better. He might just be jealous. At first the mere thought of Martin being jealous at any other man on the face of this earth, sounded preposterous, as he was head and shoulders above the rest, and not just physically. But could it really be? He had the same reaction, more or less, to Danny. She smiled a little to herself. Jealously. Who would ever believe Martin Ellingham to be jealous? He always seems so confident and self-assured. He has an answer for everything in life. But that's always been his defence mechanism, he seems confident. But he is insecure, and don't value himself enough. And she guess even he can feel a bit uncertain when there are men like Ben around in life. She remembered how he mentioned that Ben was not 'easily forgotten'. But she really don't want the Ben's of life, she wants Martin! Since the very first time, it's always been Martin.

She guess that she should really try reassuring Martin of her love towards him, encourage him more when it comes to matters of the heart and their marriage, clearly show him how she feels. And teach him a bit more about romance, maybe with small little things, like a note on his desk early morning or on his pillow just before bed! Maybe a little more text messages that wasn't about schedules and things to do. And when he makes the effort, like with the weekend away – both of them- and the flowers, she must show him clearly how much she appreciate it. That's the only way he'll ever learn and hopefully do it more. And he did ask her help, yet she didn't do much of that yet…helping him become better at being a husband. She is not even sure she's very good at being wife.

Looking over at the school building across the harbour made her mind travel back to Ben. It made her cry softly again. Not only because it was such a terribly heart-breaking ordeal, but also for the fact that life has offered her a glimpse of what she would feel like if she lost it. It was as if the heavens above used Ben as a wake-up call for her to appreciate what she's got and cherish and care for it better.

When Martin moved back to the surgery he made a promise to see a therapist, and he did not go back on his word. She made the same promise, but didn't follow through. She can already see how much it helped him, them. The sweet short messages she received from him was touching.

It's time. She needed to call the therapist Ruth suggested months ago.

She took out her purse from the handbag she carried with her all the time, especially since James was born, and after searching for a good deal of time, she finally found the card. She checked the time and was glad to see that it wasn't too late to make a call and book an appointment. She knew that if she did not call at that very moment, she would find every excuse in the book not to do it at a later stage – like when she was in London, pregnant and keep postponing a call to Martin telling him she was pregnant. Yet another example of a bad decision she made that made things difficult between her and Martin.

She took the card and dialled the numbers. After the receptionist answered the call, and pleasantries were exchanged, she asked to book an appointment for the Friday after the school closed for the Christmas break. The receptionist was able to book her a spot at 11:30. They said goodbye and she rang off. She took a big breath and let it out slowly. She specifically asked for that date as it was the same time she was to go for her 14 week scan in Truro. So, she'll make a trip of it. 11:30 at the Therapist and 14: 00 at the hospital for her scan. She'll discuss it with Martin, maybe he'll allow her to take his car, and he needed come this time. It would just be a check-up scan, maybe a picture or two. She really wants him there though for the Anomaly scan at 20 weeks.

She looked at her watch and saw that it was already 10 minutes past Janice's knock off time. She grabbed her phone and bag and started a brisk walk toward home. Just then her cell phone rang and she thought it could only be Janice.

"Louisa Ellingham, hullo.

"Louisa, its Ruth. Where are you dear?"

"O, Hallo Ruth, uhm, I've actually taken a stroll up hill and forgot a bit about the time, I am hurrying home as it's way past Janice's time to go home."

"Louisa, I have Janice with me, would you mind heading to my cottage?"

"Whot's wrong? Is James with her? Did something happen." Louisa felt the panic rise in her and she thought of running to Ruth's cottage.

"Calm down. James is fine, nothing is wrong, Janice just needs to…discuss something. I think it best if you'd come."

"Of Course. I'll be there in 5."

As she hurriedly walked down the hill, she wondered what Janice wanted to discuss…and why she wanted to discuss it at Ruth's house? She seemed perfectly all right when she left her and James.

X X X

Janice felt a bit disorientated as she walked back. She was truly shell-shocked. Mrs Ellingham … kissing the tourist! When she reached the surgery, she did not go in, instead, she headed downhill. She needed more air, more time, even someone to talk to. She walked past some of the villagers without even recognizing their greetings towards James. She walked straight through the village and as she was passing the chemist, she literally bumped into Dr Ruth Ellingham. Oh, No, she thought, the Ellingham's are everywhere today!

"Hello Janice. How is my favourite grandnephew doing today?" She looked at Janice with a crooked little grin.

Janice just stared at her, as she was feeling very unsure of her own voice and did not even realise that a question was raised. She knew that if she opened her mouth, words will just fall out, words she must not allow to escape her mouth!

Ruth immediately saw the startled expression on the young lady's face. Years of reading facial expressions when words did not come easily for her patients, made her realize that the girl in front of her, was troubled, by something or someone. She walked over to her and put her arms around her.

"Janice, would you mind walking an old bag of bones home? I would appreciate the company. And it would allow me a little chat with James here." She started walking with Janice in tow.

Ruth, not really being the chitty-chatty type, talked about this and that as Janice walked beside her in complete silence. When they reached her cottage, she invited Janice in, but Janice refused, mumbling that she needed to get James home.

"I can see you're bothered by something or someone? Come, sit and have a cup, and then me and you can have a little chat. James is napping and I am not sure you've even noticed, so he won't be bothered. Please, switch on the kettle for us while I go put these away." Ruth turned around and headed for her bedroom, hoping that Janice would obliged.

When she returned, she was glad to see that the kettle was on and that Janice were looking for some cups. She helped and they quickly settled on a couch, each with a cup in hand.

"Now, tell me, what's bothering you?" Ruth, being the straightforward kind, never wasted time with indirect questions. Straight on was the best approach.

Janice looked a bit bewildered. She knew she absolutely needed to talk to someone. But would Martin's aunt be the right person? She herself was not quite sure what to do with the info. Share it or store it?

"Come on child, I can see you've something's on your mind. We can beat around the bush, or just cut straight through it." Ruth gave her a small reassuring smile, not sure it would help though.

"I…I am not sure I should be talking to you about it Dr Ellingham." Janice fidgeted and shifted uncomfortably.

"I am sure you'll manage. Now, spit it out. I am sure I can be objective enough. Trust me!"

"I … uhm, saw something today … that might make you not so objective anymore" Janice bit the inside of her cheek. She felt very nervous and unsettled, not only with what she saw, but being there in Ruth's house. What's she'd be telling Dr Ellingham, would greatly affect both her and Louisa's relationship and Martin and Louisa's relationship greatly.

"I've listened to many stories over the years and managed my own opinions very well. I am sure that whatever you have to tell me, won't change that." Ruth hoped that her words could convince this young lady that she can be trusted.

"Right. OK. Mrs Ellingham is having an affair!" There, it was out! Janice felt like a mountain rolled off her shoulders. She told someone so this was not just her problem anymore. She'll have Dr Ruth to carry the weight with her.

"And you're basing you're theory on what grounds?" Ruth did not allow her expression to change. She was a bit startled at the words that came from Janice's mouth, but she would never let it show.

"I saw Mrs Ellingham kiss … her lover!"

"And where have you seen this?"

Janice hesitated for just a couple of seconds, thinking hard about the scene that greeted her at the house. "I took James up to the new house as Mrs E mentioned she was going there to check on the progress. I wanted to take James to the beach, but the wind was too bad, so I decided to head up to the house to surprise her. In was sure she'd wanted to show James the house, and I have also not been there, so I wanted to see how it looked. When we came around the corner, I could see Mrs E and …" Janice hesitated, should she mention the Tourists name or should she just stick to 'lover'?

"Go on" Ruth nodded.

"I saw Mrs E and the tourist slash painter, Ben, standing in the top window, snogging! For a moment or two I could not move, but when my legs were finally able to, I just turned around and hoped they didn't see me! I walked back, but couldn't face going back to the surgery, I was afraid I'd bump into the Doc, and what would I do then? So I just walked, not sure what to do . . . and then . . . you."

"So you did not talk to anyone else about this yet?" Ruth raise her eyebrows, hoping with all her might that the answer would be affirmative.

"Yes, I haven't talked to anyone… " Janice stood up to place her cup on the table. She didn't sit down again, standing awkwardly fidgeting with her hands.

"I am sure we can sort this out promptly. Just stay here, all right?" Ruth took her phone and dialled Louisa's number. After a brief conversation, she hung up. 5 minutes later Louisa knocked on her door. When Ruth opened the door, she could see the worry on Louisa's face. But there was also something else. Was it tear stains? Her eyes looked a bit reddish as well. Something was up, best to try and resolve this here and now. If there was an affair, best get it out and over today.

When Louisa rushed into the house, Janice moved a bit further back. She also saw the fear in Louisa's eyes, but interpreted it differently.

"Janice, what's wrong? Has anything happened to James…or you? Why are you at Ruth's house?" She saw that James was sleeping in his stroller, and after touching his cheeks, it didn't seem that anything was wrong with him. She turned and looked questioningly from Ruth to Janice.

Janice looked at Ruth and back to Louisa, but didn't say anything. Ruth took the hint and knew it fell on her shoulders to get this thing sorted between Louisa and Janice.

"Louisa, Janice looked a bit out of sorts when I bumped into her at the chemist. And no she was not there for anything, she just walked by. I asked her to walk me home, as I could see that the poor child wasn't feeling … comfortable about something or someone."

Louisa was not sure what was going on. She didn't understand anything. So she looked at Janice, who looked at her oddly.

"Well, is anyone going to tell me whot's going on? Preferably today?" Louisa did not like this, not one bit.

"Go on Janice. Tell Louisa what you saw. It's best to tackle the bull by the horns!"

Janice swallowed hard, before she stepped forward and after taking a big breath blurting out these words.

"I saw you kissing the Incomer, at the new house. Never thought you'd be the cheatin' kind Mrs E."

Louisa turned as pale as a bleached sheet. She felt dizzy and had to find a chair real quick – for the second time that day. She swallowed hard and for a moment she felt nauseous! Her hands started to tremble. Ruth saw that Louisa took quite a knock, and realized that only the truth could set you off like that. She knew Louisa, if this story was not true, Louisa would have long started defending herself. This was not the reaction she anticipated. She walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and when she handed it to Louisa, the woman took it with trembling hands.

"Drink this, and take deep breaths."

Louisa drank a half the glass and after she sat it down on the table, she felt a little better!

She never ever anticipated that anyone saw Ben kiss her! This is not good. She knew the village, something like this would spread faster than the plague. If Martin was to find it out via the gossip lines, it would ruin everything they - he - accomplished these last couple of months. She simply must convince Janice that the incident was not as it seemed.

After composing herself, she spoke to Janice, while still sitting in the chair, not trusting her own legs. "Janice, firstly I have to apologize for what you saw, as it clearly upset you. And secondly, I need to thoroughly explain to you what happened. It's really not as it seem, and I know people often say that, but you gotto believe me." Louisa got up and walked over to Janice and looked into her eyes, pleading that this young girl gives her time to explain, before running off spreading the word.

"So you don't deny you snoggin' with him? The Doc don't deserve that you know. Even though he's sometimes a tosser, he don't deserve it. And I would never have believed it from you." Janice's voice raised with each sentence she spoke and James woke up. When he saw his mommy, he immediately wanted to be picked up by her! She rushed and picked up her darling son and held him very closely. She slowly turned towards Janice.

"Janice, what you saw is true, but, what you probably didn't see is how my knee connected with his groin a second later and how he folded double in pain. I did not in any way approve of his actions. I did not kiss him back. And the reason Ben kissed me in the first place was not because he fancies me in any way. It's a bit complicated. You see, - and I'm only telling you this to make you understand better, even though it's not my story to tell. Ben lost his wife and son about 9 months ago – horrible story. He only told me the full story today, only because I saw him being out of sorts when I arrived at the house. It would have been his wives 30th birthday today.

When Ben kissed me, I was not happy about it at all, and I made it very clear to him. I was about to leave, when he apologized for his behaviour. He said I would understand everything better if I looked at a picture of his wife. It seemed odd to me, but when I looked at the picture he showed me, I had to sit down. You will not believe this, I nearly didn't, but his wife looks like my twin sister! Apart from a different shaped nose and two deep dimples, she is my exact replica. I wish I asked Ben to send me the picture, so that I could show it to you. But you have to believe me. He was not himself today, with the memory of it being her birthday and the resemblance between her and me. He only acted on it due to his fragile state of mind at that very moment.

I told him that I forgave him, but that it would be better if I never came to the house again while he was painting, Martin would deal with him from now on. I left the house immediately and went for a walk, as the whole incident was quite upsetting."

Janice looked at Louisa with big eyes. Louisa was not sure if this girl believed her or not.

"Look, in any other circumstance, I would understand if you went off and told the village what a horrible wife I am, kissing tourists and all. But this is really not the case this time. I love Martin deeply and if something like this were to travel through the village, it would really hurt him. I would really appreciate your discretion in keeping this to yourself. I plan to tell him myself in any case this evening. This is not something I can keep hidden from him. I really just don't want this to travel through the village veins."

Louisa hoped she was able to convince Janice. By the way Janice looked at her, she wasn't sure yet.

"Mrs E, I am not some silly teenage giggling girl who would go off and spread rumours about you…or the Doc for that matter. I am mature enough to know how to be discrete about certain things. I wasn't planning on telling the whole village. I am not like that." Janice felt a bit hurt. She wanted the Ellingham's to take her serious. She wanted them to know that they can trust her. Some day she'll be spreading her wings, and a good reference from both James' parents will help greatly.

"Oh, I see." Louisa was truly shocked by the girl's words. She didn't want to imply that Janice would do something like that, but being part of this village for way more than 30 years, she expected everyone to act the same. A judgement error from her side. Not fair either.

"I was just really shocked when I saw you kiss … I mean when I saw the kiss. I did not expect to see something like that from you of all people. You're a role model to all girls in town. You are a strong independent woman, who has always stood your ground – even against the Doc. When you came back from London, pregnant and all, you took the hits that the villagers dished out without as much as a tear! You care about the kids in school, every single one of them and you taught the young girls how to defend themselves. There is not a parent or child in town that don't look up to you." Janice stopped for a second, biting the inside of her cheek. When she continued, Ruth and Louisa saw that her eyes were tearing up. "I just felt really disappointed in you."

Louisa's was overwhelmed by the words her young child minder said. This has been a very emotional day, how many times can one cry in one day? She handed James to Ruth and walked over to Janice and embraced her while the two of them sobbed together. She let go of Janice, walked to her handbag to get a tissue, although her supply was getting awfully thin. She handed one to Janice while using one herself. After the pair felt a bit more in control, Louisa was the first to speak.

"Thank you Janice. For saying those nice things about me. I never knew . . . that people felt that way. After a day like today, it's reassuring. And thank you also for being so discrete. I can honestly say that you've raised my opinion about you a couple of bars. It's reassuring when you know you have someone with integrity and discretion working for you, especially when that person is helping you raise your children." Louisa gave her a warm smile. "Now, off you go, I've kept you long enough! I'll take this little guy home. And thanks once again, Janice."

"Ok. Goodbye Dr Ellingham, bye Mrs Ellingham." With a quick kiss on James's cheeks, she took off.

When Louisa closed the door behind Janice, she fell into a chair, covering her eyes with her hands.

"O Gosh Ruth, What a day"

"Yes, quite an interesting turn of events. Are you alright dear?" Ruth went to refill the kettle again, as she thought Louisa might be needing a cup of tea.

"Yeah." Louisa stood up and walked over to Ruth in the kitchen. "Thank you, Ruth." She leaned over and hugged the old lady, with no attempt from Ruth's side to return it.

O, these Ellingham's, tough bunch to crack, she thought. But she was really thankful for the way Ruth helped her sort this thing out with Janice. It could have turned out a whole lot worse.

"It's only a pleasure Louisa, anything for family." Ruth gave her a crooked little smile.

Louisa and James stayed for a little while longer. When she finally decided to head on home, it was already more than half an hour after surgery would have closed. She was actually quite surprised not to have heard from Martin by now. Maybe surgery ran a little late.

While walking home with her son, she knew that there was still a mountain in front of her.

What a day this turned out to be! And it's not even finished. She wished she'd never left school today. Things would have been so different if she had just stayed and marked some test, or prepared for the Christmas play. It would have been a lot less … complicated. She had no idea what reaction to expect from Martin when she would tell him what happened at the house. With dragging feet, she started the climb to Fern Cottage.

X X X

When Morwenna left after the last patient, Martin quickly cleaned his office. As he did every day. The house sounded unnaturally quiet, so he came to the conclusion that Louisa and James must be out. Maybe they went to the Market. He could have gone. Louisa was overdoing things lately. She was very busy during the day at school and stayed late theses last couple of days. She was also having very late nights with marking. He could see that she's not getting enough rest, and also not eating properly.

He really tried doing more around the house and with James, but it wasn't James or the house keeping her busy. It's her job! What will she do when she has this baby in roughly six months? James will be very mobile then. He knew people referred to toddlers around that age to be at the "Terrible Two's "stage of their development. He's also seen many 2 year old children in his surgery since he became the GP of the village. Not good.

After he finished his office, he went to lock the surgery front door and closed his office door. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He longed for Louisa and James to be home.

Just then there was a knock on the door and when Martin opened the door, Ben stood there.

"Good evening Doctor Ellingham. I hope you are doing fine?" Ben waited to be invited in.

"Evening. Is something the matter? Everything all right at the house?" Martin did not even consider inviting Ben into his home. He really didn't want him there. He just wanted to get rid of him before Louisa and James get home.

"The house is coming on quite good. I have everything under control."

"So why are you here? If it's medical, you need to make an appointment with the receptionist in the morning. Surgery is closed." Martin already started to turn around, but Ben's words stopped him in his tracks

"I need to discuss a personal matter with you Doctor. It's regarding . . . your wife!"

Martin turned around swiftly. He didn't say a word, only looked at Ben with raised eyebrows. After staring at him for which felt like an eternity to Ben, Martin finally opened his mouth.

"What can you possibly . . _. discuss_ with me. . . regarding my wife?" Martin's voice were soft, but strained. His facial expression showed utter disgust. It was clear, the Doctor was not a happy camper at that very moment.

Ben had to dig deep, very deep, to find enough courage to open his mouth.

"Doctor Ellingham, I kissed your wife!"


	29. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Martin Ellingham was sure he needed to have his ears checked! Did this twit just say he kissed Louisa, his Louisa?

"What?" He turned back towards the door stepped a little closer. He felt the blood leave his face and his ears made a singing sound. His hands started to feel sweaty and he felt a rage, like he never felt before.

Ben held both his hands up in front of him, a clear signal that he was on defence. "I am sorry, Doctor, really I am. I kissed Louisa, today, at the house. But I am here, to apologize for my inappropriate behaviour. " He felt quite relieved that the bottom half of the door was still between him and the very tall doctor. He could see that what he said was not taken lightly.

For the first time in his life, Martin wished he was not a doctor. He wished he never took the Hippocratic Oath - _do not harm_." For once he wished he could just act on the rage that was bubbling up inside him.

"Leave! Now, Just GO!" Martin was truly blind with anger. He stepped closer to the door and he felt his hands make a fist, all on their own. The audacity of this . . . urggghhh, he couldn't even find a proper name! His anger forced very uncharacteristic thoughts into his mind.

He honestly wished he could just walk over to this man and give a proper punch on the nose. He knew Ben was well build, and looked quite strong, but he himself was a lot taller than Ben plus he was not a shy pathetic little boy any more. For once he could stand up to someone like Ben. Defend himself, even defend his wife. It would only take one punch, if correctly executed.

But, of course, he was no fighter. Never was . . . never will be.

How pathetic. He can't even fight for the honour of his wife! Louisa deserves someone that can do that…at least.

He could not stand up against Ben. He would never lift a hand towards another human being. He turned away from the door and slumped into one of the kitchen chairs, his shoulders hanging heavily. He buried his hands in his hair. He felt absolutely . . . defeated.

He knew the day would come…the day when someone else would move in on Louisa. Make her realize what a mistake she made marrying him. Show her the sunnier side of life, make her laugh more, smile more. Maybe kiss her more passionately …like this idiot!

That's most likely the reason she is not home yet.

Ben was sure that the tall Doctor was going to hit him in the face. The expression on his face showed it as clear as daylight. And Ben vowed to himself, that he would stand for it. He deserved a punch in the face for what he did. But just one. His father told him to man up to your problems, face them head on. Take your punishment.

But while waiting for the inevitable to come, he saw a number of emotions ran across the face of the doctor in front of him. Disbelieve, shock, uncertainty and anger. But just before he turned around, he saw a look he knew all too well. Defeat.

Ben opened the bottom door and walked into the kitchen then sat opposite Martin at the kitchen table. He knew he must do his best to explain to this man exactly what happened and why, as he could not bear to see that look on any man's face as it's the same look that stared back at him daily in the mirror.

With a huge sigh, Ben started.

"My Wife and son died 9 months ago. They were shot right in front of my house, by 3 criminals that wanted to steal the car. She was 29 and he was 2. I came to England to get away from everything. To try and get over what happened. I thought England was far enough . . . but Doctor, it wasn't.

Martin didn't look up when Ben positioned himself at the kitchen table, or even after he started talking. Hands in his hair, he just sat there looking down at the table.

Ben took out his phone, slid with his finger across the screen a couple of times before he placed the phone on the table and lid it until it was in clear vision right in front of Martin.

Martin's eyes moved over from the invisible spot he caressed and looked at the picture of a beautiful brunette with deep dimples, familiar eyes and even more familiar mouth. It took him quite a while before he realised what he was looking at.

" _ **That**_ was my wife."

Martin dragged his eyes from the photo on screen and with disbelieve he looked at Ben. Then he looked at the picture again.

"But … what … how is …" Martin swallowed hard and realised that his mouth was completely dry.

"As you can see, my wife looked a lot like Louisa! When I took a stroll on the beach a couple of months ago and came across her and James, I was shocked to the core. At first I thought that her death was a horrible mistake. She was alive, and somehow I found her on a beach in England. I watched her and James play in the waves for a very long time before she noticed me. When I spoke to her, I was brought back to reality. It was not my Bells. But as you can see, the resemblance is extremely remarkable. My very first thought was to make sure that I was never to go to Portwenn, never see her face again. But after many lonely soul aching nights in that cottage, fighting with myself, I simply had to see her again. I came to Portwenn, specifically to see Louisa again. What a fool I am! I never intended to befriend her, or anything, I just wanted to catch a glimpse of her every now and again. It made the pain less . . . and more at the same time.

Martin's head shot up and his heart skipped a beat…as he knew that feeling all too well. He even said those exact words to Louisa once. Felt those exact feelings. A long time ago.

"Today was a particular difficult day. It would have been Bells' 30th birthday today. Louisa came to the house today, I think it was just to see how things progressed. When she came into your bedroom I came out of the bathroom. Before she arrived, Bells' mom called me. It was not good timing, but Louisa saw that I was distressed. I told her about Bells' moms call and how it's her birthday. Now Doctor, you know your wife. She's quite compassionate. A very good soul. She tried to console me."

Ben stopped for a moment to gather strength for what he was about to tell this man. He got up and took a glass from the rack and pour himself a glass of water. Martin looked numb. He did not move.

Ben sat down and continued.

"Then, Doctor, I did something utterly foolish. I kissed your wife!"

Martin looked away from the photo he was staring at, and Ben saw a bit of fire returning to those eyes again.

"Or let me rephrase. I tried kissing your wife. I think she was very surprised for a couple of seconds, but the moment she realised what was going on, she acted immediately. She gave be a blow between the legs that nearly left me crying on the floor. She told me in no uncertain terms that she understood the shape I am in, but she would not tolerate behaviour like that. I did apologize to her, Doctor. But I felt it was necessary to also apologized to you, that's just the way I was brought up. My father is a man who believed in honour and honesty. Today I disgraced one, but I hope by being honest and forthcoming about it, you and Louisa would be able to forgive me. I really truly am sorry about the incident."

Martin was speechless. Everything this man told him, felt very unreal. He stared at Ben with blankness in his eyes. He felt totally overwhelmed.

The moment he saw Ben for the first time, he thought he was trouble. But never in his wildest imagination would he have imagined what Ben told and showed him today. He still felt very angry for what Ben did, but strangely it was overshadowed by . . . Empathy? Perceptiveness?

Did he really feel compassion towards this man? Even after he just confessed to kissing his wife?

Yes, he realized. He honestly did. Martin knew what it meant to loose someone you cared for to the horror of death. He remembered Hope. She was part of his life for only a small amount of time, and he did not marry her, or had a son with her. What he felt when Hope died would be a drop in the ocean compared to what he would feel if he would ever loose Louisa and James. It's unimaginable!

At that very moment Louisa and James barged through the back door, surprising both men, who stared at her in disbelieve!

"Ben, o Gosh, whot are you doing here! "Louisa cried out when she saw her husband and Ben sitting at the table. O No, this cannot be good. Since she don't know Ben very well at all, she could not read his facial expression all that well, but she clearly saw Martin's! Those big grey-blue eyes were filled with shock and …pain? O no! Ben probably confessed the kiss! Will this day's torture never end?

 _ **She**_ was supposed to tell Martin. Not sure how she would have done it, but she wanted to do it. She didn't want him to hear it from anyone else…hence the intense pleading with Janice.

She thought that Martin was probably furious and hurt and felt betrayed. She saw the pain in his eyes…it was the same pain she saw the day she and James went to Spain. And even the same she saw the day she kissed him goodbye on the day of their non-wedding.

How was it that everything always worked backwards for them? How can they ever move forward, when life dished out these 'situation's' by the plates full!

Ben was the first to react. He stood up and looked at Martin who was oddly, just sitting there, not reacting to anything.

"Once again, Doctor Ellingham, I am truly sorry. I would really appreciate it if I could have your forgiveness." He looked over at Louisa who was biting her lip. She looked at him with questions in her eyes. Why, oh why did he feel the need to come?

"And I also want to apologize to you again, Louisa." He walked over to the door, but then he stopped and turned. "In light of everything that happened today, and so on, I have decided to return to South Africa after I am done with your house."

Martin just frowned but still did not say a single word. This was very unsettling for Louisa. His silence and the look on his face was very unnerving.

Ben saw the frown on Martin's face and thought it was with regards to the house.

"I promised to paint your house, and I will not abandon my promise until you are 100% satisfied. I never go back on my word. The house should be finished by the end of next week, which still gives me at least 2 weeks to get home by Christmas. I am ready to go home." Ben turned and just like that, he was gone, leaving two very confused and ambiguous people in the surgery's kitchen.

James, who was quiet the whole time, started to babble. Mum, dada, out, up - on and on he went. Louisa lifted him from the stroller and placed him on the floor. He toddled over to Martin, who picked him up and hugged him tight for just a second. Then he looked James in the eyes and said. "I love you James." He placed his head against James's head for a couple of seconds before he lifted him up and placed him on the floor again. He stood up and walked over to Louisa.

"Louisa . . . I . . ." he couldn't get out any words. He just stared into her beautiful eyes for a moment before he shook his head and walked out of the kitchen door.


	30. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Louisa was left speechless and tearful. Devastated she collapsed on a chair and started to sob loudly! This day was just too much! She felt James's tiny arms around her legs and when she looked down at his cute little face, the tears splashed down in stream's. She stood up, picked up her son and cuddled him in her arms. He allowed her tight hugs as if he knew she needed every second of it. After about a minute she felt a tiny bit better.

She walked to the living room with him, took a couple of his toys and placed it next to him in his playpen.

"James, would you play here for mommy so I can make us something to eat? Are you hungry?"

James just nodded although his mind was already distracted by the blocks and balls on the floor. She was glad that he was easily distracted and entertained by his playthings. She walked to the kitchen and started to prepare dinner.

She was not sure where Martin went. He might have headed to Ruth's house, she guessed. Ruth was the only family he still had, maybe he went there. She actually hoped he went there. Ruth would be able to talk to him. Maybe even explain everything to him. Martin needed time and space to absorb this. She'll give him that much. She just hoped, really hoped that he would come back soon, so that they can talk about things.

When Martin left the surgery kitchen, he thought of just walking to a lookout point. He knew looking at the ocean and descending sun, would bring calmness to his racing thoughts. But after a brisk walk he found himself standing in front of their new house. He walked around back and was glad to find the side door unlocked. Although this was not ideal, he was glad to have found an unlocked door. He walked in slowly and then strolled through the house. Everything were exactly as he and Louisa left it the previous week, except for some paint canisters and things that was neatly stacked in the kitchen. He took the stairs and made his way up. He walked to James' room and was surprised to see that it was painted already. He had to admit, it was done quite neatly. He was sure his son would find his new room adequate. His son…his own precious son. Active and very loveable... also alive - unlike Ben's little one.

He then strolled to the other room. The one that would become the new nursery. There wasn't anything done yet as he and Louisa decided to wait to find out the gender before painting the room. But now he feels they should have chosen a very neutral colour that would work for both male and female. He really wanted the house to be done all at once.

The new baby…that will be here in roughly six months. Yet another chance for unconditional love. Both giving and receiving.

He never thought that much about babies and gender. When Louisa was pregnant the first time, and he looked at the scan photo, he was just so overwhelmed with the fact that it was HIS baby. He never thought about gender until his son was handed over to him by Louisa.

But he have found himself wondering about it couple of times since they found out this time. And after considering all possibilities, he decided he would not be unhappy if this was a girl. He already had a name for her. Joan Louisa Ellingham. Hopefully she'd be the spitting image of her mother, with just a bit of her great aunt's spirit. He wished he could have added Hope, as that was another remarkable woman…but he was sure Louisa would never allow that.

The tiniest smile tucked at the corners of his mouth. God, how is this all possible? He married the woman of his dreams…had a perfect son and he was to be the father of another. Ben's image flashed before his eyes…and the phone picture of smiling woman. He swallowed hard on a limp that were starting and left the nursery.

Next he strolled over to their bedroom. The moment he walked through the doors and got a glimpse of the bed, the images of their activities from the previous week played in his mind. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks. It was a wonderful and exciting memory.

He looked around the room and saw that the bedroom was about done. Except for a little part that wasn't finished at the door. He wondered if that was what Ben was doing when Louisa arrived. He most likely got distracted by her, that's why it was not finished yet. So it might also be the spot where the handsome and strong Ben took his wife into his arms …and kissed her! He turned and walked to the bathroom that surprisingly was also finished. It was neatly worked off, looking perfect.

Martin went to the basin and splashed some water over his face. Only realising afterwards that there were no towel to dry his face and hands. He shook most of the water off and walked over to the window.

He was mesmerized again by the wonderful view and while staring out the window, his thoughts started to wonder as he watched the sun slowly dipping lower over the ocean.

The scene in the kitchen played over in his head. And he must admit, after hearing Ben's explanation and apology and saw the picture of his wife, he understood how the events leading up to today, could cause Ben to react the way he did. Did he not do the same when Louisa was away in London? He thought he saw her in every woman with a ponytail. Yes, he could understand Ben's reaction. That part he could actually get over.

But, it was his own reaction that disappointed him, that would most likely have disappointed Louisa.

Even if Ben didn't have a valid reason for kissing Louisa, and just did it because he wanted to move in on Louisa, what would he have done?

And the answer was crystal clear today. He wouldn't have done a thing! He was not able to fight for her. Even though fighting would be a very barbaric way to deal with things, and he won't condone it in any way, he always thought he'd do even _that_ when it came to Louisa…and James. But he was proven wrong today. He is a coward. He could not protect his family against the onslaughts of life or the Ben's out there.

Louisa deserves a better husband. James and the new baby deserves a stronger father.

But, perhaps Dr Alan can help. Maybe he can suggest ways. He promised Martin that together they can work at making things better. This could be the very first thing they could really work on.

He suddenly remembered something else Ben said. About Louisa! Yes, he said Louisa very adamantly rejected his advances. In fact, she took some direct and hurtful action to stop it. SHE was the one that were fighting for their marriage – very clearly.

And that was the only thing he should remember from this whole experience! And of course the fact that he was the luckiest man alive to have such a wonderful wife and son!

He took a deep breath, turned around and went to sit on the bed. In a week and a half's time, the house will be done…and the tourist with the sad story will go home. And he will still have Louisa and James, the new baby and the new house. They will be able to move in before Christmas and he knew that it would make his wife very happy.

His only goal in life was to make her happy.

He brushed with his fingers across the uncovered bed. Hmmm, he though, a lifetime to spend in the arms of his lovely wife is all he could wish for. And like Dr Alan said, it was well within his grasp, he just needed to reach out and take it.

He really hated to admit it, but Ben helped him realised what needed to be done … and how privileged he was.

His thoughts were interrupted by his mobile ringing and he realized it was in his jacket pocket. He sighed as he thought that it could only be a villager calling him about a non-existing emergency. But when he looked at the screen he saw Louisa's name. She must wonder where he went off to. She must be worried. He did not give her any re-assurance that things were ok before he left. In fact, she must feel very confused as he just left without a word.

"Louisa?"

Her crying voice came over the phone and she sounded very distressed. "Oh, Martin!" Sobs followed her words.

"Louisa! What's wrong?" He immediately knew something was not right and while waiting for her to continue he already turned and started running downstairs, taking the stairs two by two.

Louisa managed to control herself a bit and answered Martin. "I was upstairs drawing a bath for James. When I reached the top of the stairs, I did not look … I slipped on one of James' blocks. I took a tumble and landed at the bottom of the stairs. I managed to turn on my back, but my ankle is already very swollen. Luckily my phone was lying in the living room table so I managed to move to their….but…Martin…" Louisa let out a loud cry before she said "I am bleeding….I think I'm losing our baby!"

Martin was already sort of running when he heard Louisa's distressed voice, but the moment he heard about the fall, he was running like there were 7 devils on his heels. He reached the surgery even before Louisa was able to hang up the call. He barged through the kitchen door and ran towards where he could hear his babbling son and crying wife. Louisa was lying on the ground and James was standing in his playpen. When he saw Martin he started crying: "Dada! Mum Mum'. He pointed to the stairs and looked at Martin with big eyes, while he kept saying 'Mum'.

Martin took his phone and called for an ambulance. He rushed over to his office to collect his medical bag.

When he reached Louisa again, he checked her over for any other injuries apart from the very visible swollen ankle. He did not want to move her. She had a nasty bruise on her right cheek and cut just above her left eye. He quickly cleaned it with some antiseptic. Then he took out the Doppler monitor to see if he can find a heartbeat. After a couple of anxious moments he managed to find it, but it sounded way too fast, distressed. He called the ambulance service again, and they promised to be at the surgery within 5 minutes. James was babbling all sorts of things and Martin realised that he must be a bit frightened as well. But he could not afford to take James out of the playpen now as he would only want to go to Louisa.

"Martin, is the heartbeat ok, it sounds very fast? Will our baby be alright?" Louisa was lying on the floor with big tear filled eyes?

"The heartbeat is a bit too rapid. Do you have pain anywhere? Apart from your swollen ankle?" When Martin looked Louisa in the eyes, she could see that things were serious. He was worried, and that was never a good sign. She was not able to answer him, as tears ran down her cheeks.

He took Louisa's pulse which was also elevated, understandably, but he needed her to calm down…for the baby's sake.

"Louisa, I need you to take deep breaths and try to regulate your breathing. The baby is under stress. And your own heart rate is also elevated. While we wait for the ambulance, you must try to get as calm as possible. They'll be here any minute. The best thing for the baby and yourself is to keep very still and try to relax. You need to stop crying - for the baby's sake."

Louisa looked at Martin with eyes filled with tears "Martin, I don't want to lose this baby!"

Martin placed the Doppler on Louisa's stomach again at the same spot as before and he was glad that there was still a heartbeat.

"You haven't lost our baby, listen, it's still there, but you need to calm yourself. That's the only way.

At that moment they both heard the ambulance outside. Martin got up and opened the front door. Two medics came through and after a brief description from Martin of what happened, he told them that Louisa was pregnant and bleeding. When the medics came in Martin picked up James who looked very frightened.

James kept reaching for Louisa and started crying. "Mummy! Mummy!

Martin turned around and walked to the kitchen with his son. "James, mommy is going to the hospital. As you've seen, she took a nasty fall down the stairs. The Physicians at the Hospital will take care of her. I need you to be a good boy, for mommy and not cry anymore. It will make her sad to see that you are crying. Can you do that … be a big boy?" Martin was anxious to get outside to Louisa, before the ambulance left, but he also knew how important it was to calm his son. Explain to him what's happening. The last thing they need now, I a crying toddler. And he didn't want James to be upset.

James looked into his daddy's eyes and nod.

"Thank you James. Let's go see if mommy is comfortable in the ambulance."

As they walked outside, Martin saw Bert, Al and Morwenna standing next to the Ambulance.

"Doc, What Happened? Is Louiser gonna be ok? We were just walking the streets when we saw the ambulance stop here." Bert sounded a bit breathless, probably from the quick walk up the hill. All three of them looked very concerned. These were Louisa's friends. Of course they were worried.

"UHM, she fell down the stairs tripping on a toy. Her ankle might be broken and we are very concerned that she might lose the baby." Martin did not even realize what he said…he was just so worried about Louisa and the baby! He forgot that no one knew about the baby yet. He only realised his mistake when Morwenna's already big eyes grew even larger.

"Louisa is pregnant!? We do hope she'll be ok then. Here Doc, let me take James. Al and I will look after him, you go with Louisa. She needs you, you know. Don't you worry about this little one, Go!"

Martin hesitated for just one second, before he kissed James on his head and handed him over to Morwenna. "He needs to be bathed and he already had dinner. He likes a bed time story! "

"No Worries Doc." Morwenna smiled at him while cuddling James. She turned and started walking and talking to James to take his focus off the ambulance that was leaving with both his parents

Martin jumped into the back of the ambulance and the medics closed the doors. He settled next to Louisa, taking her hand in his. And softly brushed with his thumb across her soft hand.

The medic was busy making Louisa comfortable and already placed an IV in her right arm and hooked her up to a monitor while the driver expertly found his way through the narrow streets. He kept taking her pulse and asked her to take deep breaths and try to be as calm as possible. She just nodded. For once in his life, Martin let the guy do his job. He just stared at his wife, with those big eyes, hoping that they reach the hospital quickly. About every half minute his eyes quickly flashed at the screen, but he immediately looked back at Louisa.

"Thank you for coming with me…I am so afraid Martin!" Louisa pressed her lips against each other and took a deep breath as she tried hard to control her emotions. She closed her eyes and let out the air slowly while some tears rolled down her sides. Martin quickly wiped it off as Louisa opened her eyes and it was heart breaking for Martin to see how vulnerable and fragile his wife looked.

"I am sorry about today Martin. I know you must be hurt and disappointed in me. It was really just … "Louisa was cut short by Martin when he said

"Ben showed me a picture of his wife. And explained. It was unusual…but coherent. Not your fault"

"So? We …?" Louisa was not sure what Martin meant.

"Yes…were fine. Let's just get you to hospital and make sure you … both are alright." Martin leaned over and placed a very light soft kiss on Louisa's lips. Louisa was quite taken by this, as Martin had never shown her any affection in front of someone. When he retracted, she gave him her bravest smile. He could see that his words eased her tension just a fraction. Good. She needed have that extra worry at this stage.

After which felt like an eternity, the ambulance stopped at the hospital. When the doors flared opened, there were people assisting the medics and they rushed Louisa through the doors of the A.E. Martin kept by Louisa's side until they reached a room. Dr Tailor was waiting. What a relief, Martin thought.

"Dr Ellingham! I heard what happened while doing some rounds. I will check Louisa over and take care of her. You go get yourself..." Dr Tailor took Martin by the arm and turned him around, sort of pushing him out of the room. She needed space to do a thorough check on Louisa, and the last thing she needed was this man interfering the whole time.

"No, I can't…I need to be here. I _must_ be here. She might need me." Martin sounded frantic, his eyes were a bit wild and he tried pushing back but Dr Tailor stood her ground.

"Dr Ellingham, we are not sure what we're dealing with here yet. Do you know as much as I do about OB? If it comes to a miscarriage, I am sure Louisa will need her husband's support and care and understanding. Therefor I need you to go and collect yourself before returning to this room. She will need you…but the way you look right now, will be of no help to her. She needs calm."

Martin stared at her for a split second, before realising she was right. "Fine."

He searched for the nearest bathroom and stumbled into one of the stalls. He sat on the toilet, brushing his hands through his hair. He took a couple of deep breaths trying to control his rapid heartbeat and was able to suppress the urge to vomit. He opened the door and walked to the basin where, for the second time today, he needed to wash his face with cold water to gain control of his feelings.

This was all his fault. If he did not walk out on her tonight, she would never have been alone. He would have run the water for James' bath and none of this would have happened.

He should have stayed in the kitchen with her after Ben left. And he should have told her that he loved her... And that the tourist made him realize just how lucky he was, to have such a beautiful caring wife in his life. A wife and a son. What happened to Ben's family was horrid. And it made him think how he would have felt if something like that would have happened to his gorgeous wife and precious boy. It was such an overwhelming feeling that it was hard to express it to Louisa. But he should have . . . he should have told her how lucky he was. How honoured and privileged he felt that she married him, fought off another man's affections because of him.

Why does he always wait for moments like these to realize how he feels and what is needed to make his wife happy and ultimately himself? He loved her with every cell in his body. He will always love her.

He looked at his own reflection in the mirror. 'Ellingham' he said loudly 'you ARE a lucky bugger. Now pull yourself together and go be the kind of husband your wife needs.'

He shot his cuffs and straightened his tie and with that he walked out purposely towards the room where his wife was lying, hoping that their baby was still fine. God, Please let his baby be ok!


	31. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

When Martin reached the doors of the Emergency room where Louisa was being held, he could hear the all familiar noises of monitors and aids and the instructions being handed out by Dr Tailor. He walked through the doors and Louisa was the first one to notice him.

"Martin!" She cried out when she saw her husband. She wondered where he went, as she expected him not to leave her side.

When Dr Tailor looked over her shoulder at the man entering the room, she nodded in approval. She could see that he had everything under control.

Martin walked over and stood opposite Dr Tailor while he reached and grabbed Louisa's hand. He gave it a solid squeeze and hoped she felt reassured by his gesture. She turned her eyes away from the monitors and looked up at the man she loved more than life!

Dr Tailor knew he was waiting for the results.

"We examined her and it seemed that the fall caused a jerking of the uterus and raptured the delicate, newly formed blood vessels in the placenta. It does not look serious or fatal. The bleeding already stopped. We will keep monitoring the baby's heartbeat, which have stabilized and sounds perfectly normal. You can listen if you want?" She placed the devise on Louisa's little bump and immediately a very healthy heartbeat could be heard. Martin let out a loud sigh.

"Louisa's ankle is also not broken, just heavily sprained. She also hurt her wrist a little, we will have to just wrap it, but it should feel better in a day or two. The ankle might take a little longer. We attended to the bruise and the cut above her eye. She might have a bit of pain and stiffness from the fall. Not to mention a couple of bruises on her body that might take on some odd colours in a couple of days. Due to the pregnancy we don't really want to administer any strong pain medication – we suggested Tylenol, but Louisa said she didn't want any medication. However, Doctor, you do know what is safe and what not. If she complaints about any pain from her injuries, you'd know what to do. However, if she complaints about cramps or back pain, please call immediately." Dr Tailor took Louisa's other hand and gave it a little squeeze before she winked at her quickly. "I'd say, all in all, this turned out a lot better than any of us anticipated. This was a bit of an exciting day; but all looks fairly normal now"

"Right" Martin looked at Louisa and he could see that she was extremely tired. This day wasn't the easiest one they've encountered. Doctor Tailor had no idea just how 'exciting' this day has been.

"Louisa, we need to keep you here for the night, just to keep monitoring the baby's heartbeat. If all goes well, and there's no bleeding, you can leave tomorrow." Dr Tailor gave husband and wife a reassuring smile. "Dr Ellingham, I am sure Louisa will have an early night whether she plans one or not. She and the baby both needs rest after all the excitement"

Louisa and Martin looked at each other, trying to figure out what the other was thinking.

Dr Tailor interrupted the silent stares. "The A&E staff will move you over to a regular room now, where they'll hook you up to a monitor that will constantly read the baby's heartbeat throughout the night. If there is the slightest indication of abnormality, we will pick it up. I will see you all tomorrow morning, unless …" Dr Tailor stopped and just smiled at the couple.

Louisa smiled at the doctor. "Thank you so much for all you've done for us today, Dr Tailor."

"Yes, uhm, thank you." Martin nodded his head towards Dr Tailor. She didn't need more from him. She understood, it was clear in his eyes.

Dr Tailor gave one or two instructions to the assisting staff before she left.

The nurse told Louisa and Martin that they will now move her to a room, and asked if Martin wouldn't mind waiting outside until they were finished making her comfortable for the night.

"Fine. I will just go call Morwenna and find out if James is all right." He turned around and left. But just before he went out the door, Louisa called out to him.

"Martin? " She looked at him with big questioning eyes. She didn't say anything else though.

Martin was not completely sure what was the right things to do, but he turned around and walked back to her, placing a light kiss on her lips. "I will be right back. Relax, it's over."

When she gave him a brave smile, he knew…it was the right thing to do! A small victory.

Fifteen minutes later, Dr Martin Ellingham walked into the room of his wife. She was stacked against a pile of pillows and was dressed in a hospital gown. Her legs were stretched out in front of her, showing the bandage on her right ankle. She had a small bandage on her left wrist and a band aid just above her eye. Apart from all the bandages there was also wires sticking out to her left side underneath the gown. They've attached two belts with sensors attached around her stomach. An Electronic Foetal Heart Monitor were used to closely keep an eye on the baby's heartbeat. There is a small printer next to her bed that records the heartbeat constantly.

When Martin entered the room, the nurse was just about done. She left silently to give them a moment alone.

"How's James?" Louisa was looking at the machine that recorded the heartbeat. It scribbled on a paper that grew in length by the minute.

"Fine. Morwenna and Al is at the house looking after him. Morwenna bathed him and she and Al read him a story. When I spoke to Morwenna, James was already asleep."

Martin looked at Louisa who still did not look at him at all. He opened his mouth to say something again, but just breathed out heavily. Why was she avoiding eye contact? Is she angry with him? About Today? Does she blame him for what happened? She would have every right to do so. He should have stayed with her. idiot!

Louisa could not look at Martin. She couldn't face those eyes. Not after all the emotions she saw in them today! Pain. Hurt. Insecurity. Uncertainty. Fear. All caused by her.

She nearly killed their baby today! Will he ever be able to forgive her recklessness? She was sure a lecture would follow pretty soon.

"Louisa?" Martin walked over to her, placing himself between her and the EFH Monitor -forcing her to look at him. She pursed her lips together and when she looked up at him, he saw that she was all teary again. Good heavens, how much can one person cry in a day?

"Look Martin, I am really sorry! Sorry about Ben, but more so, very sorry about the accident. I was not careful enough. I know that it's my responsibility to ensure that our baby is safe, always. Keeping my body healthy In order for this precious bundle to develop and grow. I put it through a lot today, due to my own stupidity! I would never have forgiven myself for it if something happened to our baby today. And even now, I will be anxious until this baby is born, praying that this did not cause him or her any harm. I'll understand if you'll find it hard to forgive me for – well - everything today."

While Louisa talked, Martin's brow furrowed deeper by the minute.

"What?" He shook his head a little, not understanding at all how she could blame herself for anything that happened during that horrible day.

"Martin! I said I am sorry. I really am. Please don't make it any harder" A sob escaped her throat, and it reminded Martin of the time she came to him, when she was pregnant. The night Edith was there. She broke down in front of him, even though it was just for a second or two. She had a beautiful blue and white dress on and the moment he opened the door, she started ranting on him. He was as taken by her emotional breakdown then as he was now. However, this time he took a different approach. Maybe the same one he should have taken then.

He stood closer to her, bending down until their eyes were level. He looked into those lovely green eyes, which have seen all too many tears for one day. When he finally spoke his voice was soft and tender.

"Louisa, nothing that happened today was your fault. Accidents happen. I see it every day. I am very glad that you and the baby are fine." Then he leaned in and kissed her soft lips that were once again wet with tears. When he broke away from her lips he lifted his head slightly and let his lips rest against her forehead. Louisa threw her arms around his neck. For a couple of minutes he just stood like that with Louisa resting against him, until it felt like every muscle in his whole body went into spasm. He finally broke the intimacy and stood up straight.

He cleared his throat before he could talk "I will stay with you until you fall asleep, and then I need to head back. I cannot expect Morwenna to stay with James the whole night."

Louisa shot him a weak smile. "You don't have to stay. It's been a … tiring day, you should get some rest. I …" She quickly looked at the monitor and then back at him. "..We will be fine."

"I asked Al to come pick me up, since I did not come with a car. He left just before I came into the room, so I have time"

"Oh. Ok. I will need someone to come get me in the morning though. Maybe you can ask Ruth? I know you have surgery."

"No, I'll come. You can just text me. Morwenna can just shift some of the appointments, I'll work a bit later if needed."

"Thank you Martin. May I ask that you bring me some clothes and toiletries when you come?"

"Yes"

For a couple of moments Martin stood beside the bed, like a statue while he stared at Louisa. He could not believe that she was ok. When he saw her lying on the floor, he expected the worst for her and the baby. But everything turned out fine. Honestly. How lucky can he be?

At first Louisa thought Martin might want to say something, but then she started feeling awkward. He stared at her, openly, not even trying to make it unnoticeable.

"Martin?" She tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes.

"Louisa" His eyes were still pretty much stuck on her.

"If you're still going to be here for at least half an hour or so, you might want to grab a chair and sit? Maybe here next to the bed, close to me?" She raise her eyebrows as she talked.

He ducked his and mumbled "Yes".

Martin pulled up the chair that was standing at the far side of the room. He positioned it on the other side of the bed. He then went to sit in it, leaning forward and reached for Louisa's right hand. She grabbed onto it while she shifted herself into a more comfortable position. Then she closed her eyes and let out a slow loud breath. After a about 5 minutes Martin felt her hand relaxed in his and her even deep breaths mixed with soft snores was confirmation that she was sleeping.

Good, he thought. He sat there for another couple of minutes, eyes glued to the monitor that was recording the heartbeat. It was stable, no indication that anything was amiss.

After a while a nurse came in and tore off the printout that was getting very long already. She looked at the graph and then handed it to Martin.

"It looks good Dr Ellingham", she whispered giving him a smile.

"I know" Martin did not take the printout. The nurse just folded it neatly before placing it into Louisa's folder, turned and left the room.

Martin's phone vibrated and when he checked it was a message from Al to say that he would be at the hospital in 5 minutes.

Martin typed a quick message before he slipped his phone back into his pocket. He looked at his beautiful wife and was glad that she was comfortably sleeping. He bended forward, pacing his right hand on top of Louisa tummy, lightly stroking it.

"I am …glad that you are ok Joan Louisa Ellingham." He whispered. "You and your mum should rest, as she will be very busy the next couple of days trying to keep the villagers at bay now that they know you're on your way."

Martin stood up and put the chair back where it belonged. He returned to Louisa's side and placed the softest kiss on her cheek. Then he walked out of the room to the parking lot where AL was waiting.

X X X

The drive back home was done mostly in silence. Martin was exhausted and had a lot on his mind. Al attempted to start a conversation once, but realized the Doc was not up to it.

Just before they reached the sign that read 'Portwenn', Martin suddenly spoke up.

"Thank you Al…for today. I appreciate you driving all the way to collect me from the hospital. And that you and Morwenna looked after James."

"Ah, 'twas nothin' Doc. "

After a minute or two, Martin's voice broke the silence again.

"Uhm …you and Morwenna?" Even in the dark Al could see the Doc's facial expression. It was a bit unnerving.

"We've been on a couple of dates. I like her…a lot. Didn't think I would try again with any girl after Paul just left. But Morwenna is …different. I think…uh…I will go for it."

"Hmmm. Why do you think you have this nagging attraction to all my receptionists?"

"Dono." Al shot a glance at the Doc. "I guess I feel that if they pass your high standards, they must be pretty good girls."

"Oh, Right"

They turned into the parking lot at the surgery. When Martin got out, so did Al.

"No need to escort me to the door. I know the way" Martin looked at Al with a frown.

"Uhm, I'm s'pose to take Morwenna home, Doc?"

Martin just ducked his head and walked to the kitchen door. When they walked into the kitchen, the house was dead quiet. They went to the living room and found Morwenna stretched out on the couch. Al walked over and kneeled next to her, shaking her arm lightly. "Wake up sleeping beauty!"

Morwenna was startled for a second or two, before recognition filled her face and she gave Al bright smile.

"You back already?" She stood up and saw Martin standing close to the stairs. "How's Louisa and the baby, Doc? "

"Fine. They are stable. She was sleeping when I left." It felt award to discuss his wife's wellbeing with his receptionist, not to mention how uneasy he felt having them both in his house this late in the evening!

Al noticed the Doc's discomfort and knew it was time to leave him alone.

"Come Morwenna, it's time for the Doc to get some rest. Gud night Doc."

"Uhm, Yes, Thank you. Good Night"

"See ya t'morrow Doc." Morwenna gave him an encouraging smile.

After the two left, Martin did his rounds in insuring all the doors were properly locked. He then turned off all the lights and headed upstairs.

He walked to James' room. His sweet little boy was sleeping like a rock. He stood next to his cot for a long time, just staring at him.

He then walked to their room to get ready for bed. After taking a shower and putting on his blue flannels he stood in front on the bed. Outside it started to rain, in fact the wind and rain were pounding against the windows! The weather outside matched his mood. He felt a bit stormy…and miserable! He sighed heavily while looking at the empty bed. It would be the first night in a very very long time that he'd be sleeping alone in his . . . their bed.

He missed Louisa, he thought. But how could it be possible. He saw her less than two hours ago.

Just then a bright flash lit up the night sky outside followed by loud thunder! It scared him witless as he was so deep in thought, staring at his empty bed. Then he heard his son crying!

"Daddy! Mummy!"

He rushed over to James' room and picked him up!

"It's All right James. It's just thunder. SHHHH"

He cuddled him closely while he walked over to the master bedroom. Maybe…just this once, James could sleep with him tonight. It would make them both feel a lot less lonely. He placed James in bed, on Louisa's side, while he got into bed as well. He switched of the light and turned to face his son, holding one of his tiny hands in his. James reached with his other hand to touch Martin's cheek. Within a couple of minutes the toddler was fast asleep. And not long after, his daddy as well.

 _A/N..._

 _That's it! END of the story! Hope you enjoyed it?_

 _HAHAHA! Just kidding...there is still a few chapters on the way!_

 _Thanks SO very Much to EACH and everyone of you who are reading following and most importantly commenting on this story! I appreciate every single one of you...I wished all the Guest reviewers would consider registering so that I could send them a PM thank you message as well!_

 _Please stick around - there will be a few more chapters! Any mistakes you pick up, please let me know...I appreciate anyone willing to HELP me! it's not unwelcome at all!_


	32. Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

Martin woke up with a startle. He knew something was not right. He was in his bed and there was someone there with him, but it felt odd. He slowly reached for the hand that was halfway wrapped around his waist. A tiny hand could be felt. Ah, James. His face softened a little and the corners of his mouth turned upwards just a fraction. Suddenly he remembered everything from the day before. Even though he loved his son, he realized his son was in his bed because his wife was not and his face went strict again.

He took James' tiny arm and moved it ever so lightly in order for him to be able to get up. He hoped James would sleep for just a little while longer. Just long enough for him to take a quick shower.

As quietly as his tall figure could manage, he went to the bathroom and after 10 minutes he walked back into his room again, only to find his son still asleep. Good.

He got dressed in a grey suit, white shirt and striped blue tie. He tied his shoes and when he stood up to look at his reflection in the mirror, he got lost in thought. His mind ran through everything that happened the previous day. It was one of the longest and most stressful days in all his life. His master brain ran through every little thing, every conversation, even every thought he had. It's hard to believe that he actually fell asleep so quickly the previous night. But he'll give James credit for that. The presence of his son in his bed soothed him far more than he'd ever admit to anyone. Yet, he missed his wife. He would just finish preparing breakfast for him and James and then he'd call the hospital to find out at what time he could go get Louisa and bring her home. He wished he could have taken her to their new house already. That would have been nice.

"Daddy?" Martin was brought back to current reality by his son's sleepy voice.

Martin turned around and saw his son stretching his body. "Good morning James. Did you sleep well" He walked over and James stretched his arms to be picked up.

He took James to his room and quickly got him ready for the day.

Martin placed James in his high chair when they reached the kitchen, and then filled the coffee machine with water. He placed an egg in the cooker before he took out a bowl and filled it with some of James' cereal and milk and popped a slice of bread into the toaster. As he 'assisted' James with his breakfast – he actually held the spoon and fed James so quickly that the little one barely had time to protest in feeding himself – Martin's phone rang. He spooned the last bit into James' mouth, and placed the bowl in the sink.

He checked his watch and it showed 07:02. It might me the hospital!

"Ellingham" he barked.

"Martin? Is everything alright? You sound…uhm…rushed."

"Louisa. Is everything OK? Why are you calling so early?" Martin turned and stared at his son, who was now babbling non-stop.

"No no, everything is fine. We – me and the baby – we're fine. The sister said that I'd definitely be able to go home today. The doctor will do her rounds at eight, then we'll be sure, but it all looks very possible. How's James? I hope he slept good last night? He was a bit frightened yesterday. I was worried that he would be too upset to have a proper night's sleep." Louisa spoke so quickly that Martin barely caught half of it. When she talked like that he knew that she had something on her mind.

"James was no trouble. He slept with me. I have just given him breakfast." Martin hoped that whatever was bothering her, was answered. He was never good at these things - guessing what's going on in that lovely head of his wife.

"Why?" Try as she may, Louisa could not make her voice sound less surprised. James slept with Martin? Maybe he was ill, or fuzzy and Martin just didn't want to stress her about it.

"Why what?" He did not understand the question.

"Why did he sleep with you Martin?" She sighed heavily. Honestly, sometimes he can be so…

"Thunder and lightning. He was afraid." Came Martin's response matter-of-factly.

"O, so … you let him sleep WITH you? And he was not scared anymore? He didn't ask for me?" As she spoke her frown deepened with every second she spoke. Is was strange, very strange in fact, to hear that Martin just allowed James to sleep with him. Odd indeed. And worse, James didn't even miss her. He had his daddy to comfort him.

"Yes. He slept through. Louisa are you sure you're feeling better? "Why was Louisa so surprised to hear that he allowed James to sleep with him? Was it that surprising? Was he the type of father already, who would leave his child in a room all by himself when it sounded like the heavens were playing ten pin bowling – with visual effects? He could never do that. He knew how it felt and would never allow his son to feel like that.

Martin's thoughts were interrupted by Louisa's voice on the other side. "I'm fine Martin." She paused for a couple of seconds before she continued. "It's just. I miss James and … I miss you. I want to come home now!"

"Yes. We – me and James – also miss you. The bed was…" Martin's voice faded as he didn't know what his next words should be.

"Yes Martin…what about the bed?"

"Empty … uhm …it was empty … without you in it."

"So, that's why you allowed James to sleep in our bed?" It all made perfect sense to her now. Martin felt lonely – dare she think that?

"Yes."

"So, will you still be able to come and collect me a bit later on? We could really just ask Ruth, I am sure she'll help, then your day won't be irrupted that much."

"No, you're my wife, I'll come get you."

"Thank you Martin. I will just text you when I get the all clear to go so that you won't have to sit and wait the whole time. I will also text you what I need from my closet and the bathroom. Is that all right?"

"Yes. Good."

"Drive safe and give James a Kiss for me, all right?" She said with a longing voice.

"Yes. See you later. Good bye" Martin hang up and went over to his son and gave him a peck on the head. "That's from your mother. I am sure hers would have been a bit longer and better but I am only the messenger." James grinned at his dad. Sometimes his daddy was very funny.

A couple of minutes later, while he was busy washing up and cleaning the kitchen, he received a text message from Louisa. It was a list of things she wanted him to bring along. He finished in the kitchen and then took James with him to his room. He placed James on the floor and closed the door so that his son doesn't wonder off down the hallway or down the stairs.

James scampered around, pulling himself up against the bed and wobbled all over the place, talking to Martin in a language only babies could master. Here and there Martin understood a word that slipped out. He packed the things Louisa requested and by the time he was done it was 10 to eight. Morwenna would arrive soon and then Janice. He wished they would arrive earlier so that he can leave for Truro.

He tidied up their room quickly and made sure everything was in tip top shape as Louisa would probably see a lot of this room the next couple of day.

He took James and as they walked down the stairs James said 'Mommy' while he pointed down the stairs. James remembered the fall. It must have been upsetting for him.

"It's fine James. Mommy is fine. The stairs didn't hurt her too much. Her ankle will be wrapped and she has a cut above her eye, but she's fine. She's coming home today. But then she will need lots of rest and you will have to be extra good."

Just then Morwenna came through the door.

"Mornin' Doc! Mornin' James. I thought I'd come early? Heard anythin' from Louisa yet?" She walked over to her desk and switched on the computer. She shook her head. "Another full day, hey Doc."

"Yes."

Martin's phone buzzed again.

' _Dr Tailor was here. I am good to go. Love. Louisa.'_

"Morwenna, please reschedule all my early morning appointments. I need to go get Louisa from the hospital." He placed James in his playpen and went upstairs to collect Louisa's things.

When he came down he asked Morwenna to call Janice to ask if she was on her way.

"It's OK Doc, I'll look after James till Janice comes. I cancelled the first two appointments already, so it's fine."

"Thank you." Martin looked with big eyes at his receptionist. She's proven to be very helpful.

"My Pleasure. Now, go get your lovely wife". Morwenna smiled at him.

Louisa sat with the cell phone in her hand, staring down at the screen as if she expected something from it. Her thoughts went back to the night before.

She felt very drowsy once Martin sat down in the chair next to her bed. His presence and the fact that he held her hand contributed to her relaxed state. She soon felt herself drifting off, but just before she was totally lost in dream land she heard Martin spoke so very softly, close to her stomach.

It was the single most amazing moment of her life! The gruff, rude, stern man that found it hard to show the slightest bit of emotions, was talking to their unborn child. Joan Louisa – that's what he called the baby. So, he thought it would be a girl. Or did he know? He was after all a doctor and a very good one indeed, so maybe he saw something to indicate the gender. However, she could not ask him, as she didn't want him to know that she wasn't fully asleep and that she felt and heard the softness of his voice. It was something that she would treasure – all by herself.

Suddenly her heart gave a tug as she also remembered the dream. She had to swallow hard and instinctively placed her hand over her belly.

She dreamt that she was walking somewhere on the moor. There was fog everywhere. She could hardly see 2 feet ahead. In the distance she heard a voice. It came from the left, so she turned towards it. But just as she turned she heard another voice coming from the opposite direction. She was confused and didn't know which voice to follow, as they were both very faint, not recognizable at all. As she stood there, the voices grew louder, but they still came from both sides. Until she could distinguish between them. The voice to the left was Martin's. And after a while she recognized the voice to the right. It was Ben.

Martin's voice was filled with urgency, the way you would call on someone that was lost. When she looked to that side, he was walking towards her with James in his arms, urgency in every step he took. She could see the worry on his face.

But Ben's voice came from the other side. And when she turned to look at him, he was carrying a very small baby – a girl with black hair and soft white skin. His face was filled with sadness. The baby he carried was lying oddly in his arms.

Both Martin and Ben reached her and she was stuck between them. Martin and James to the one side…and Ben with the beautiful baby on the other side. Martin called her name a couple of times and just as she decide to go to them, Ben called her too, begging her to take the baby! She was so confused as she was sure the baby was hers, but why was Ben carrying her baby…? Both Ben and Martin kept calling her name over and over until she thought she'd go mad! She covered her ears and screamed loudly for them both to stop!

That's when she felt the nurse shaking her vigorously in an attempt to wake her up. For a couple of seconds she was disorientated and confused. Until she finally realized that it was just a dream. NO. A nightmare! The nurse took her vitals and after making sure Louisa was all right, she tore the printout from the baby monitor. Louisa could see the spike in the graph.

"Is the baby all right?" She felt panic rise up again.

"Just breathe in slow and deep …. And release…again, slow and deep…and release. Let's give it a moment or two, so we can get everything back to normal."

The nurse looked at the graph intensively. After a couple of moments, she nodded her head.

"Everything is fine. Just a little increase in the baby's heart rate…but it's back to normal." She gave Louisa a small reassuring smile while she folded the graph neatly and placed it in the folder. She puffed the pillows and straightened Louisa's bed. "It is quite normal after incidents like yours today, to have a bad dream. But you are in safe hands and so is the baby. Relax."

As she sat on the bed she wondered what the dream could possibly mean.

She felt sad and lonely and wished Martin was with her.

Just before 9, Martin pulled into the parking space at the hospital and quickly walked to the room where Louisa was. As he entered, she sat on the bed, looking a little miserable. She looked up and suddenly a big smile filled her gloomy face.

"Martin! You came so quickly."

"Yes. I thought you might want your clothes and…things" As he walked towards her, she smiled brightly and it made his heart miss a beat! He wasn't sure if it would be appropriate behaviour, since it was a public place, but since there was no one else in the room, he bend over and gave her a deep stirring kiss. They looked into each other's eyes and were lost for more than a couple of minutes, when they heard a forced cough coming from the door.

"Good Morning Dr Ellingham. Louisa. I just came to check if you are sorted. I also brought you your 'after-care' papers and release forms. While your husband is here, I thought we could run through them real quickly."

She looked at the two of them and both just nodded. Martin's face was more than a little red.

"Louisa, I need you on Bed rest until Sunday at least. Since your ankle is still swollen and a bit fragile at the moment, it will be for the best. That way your body, the baby and you ankle will receive the rest it needs. Keep the ankle elevated. If there is NO signs of bleeding and the swelling on the ankle has gone down considerably, you may get up from Monday and resume normality. By that I mean walking around, taking it easy. Not dashing from one end of town to the next. That means not jogging or strenuous exercise for at least two weeks. And lastly – and by the look of it when I entered the room, this might be the hardest for you two – No intercourse for about 10 days. This is just precautionary. I am sure everything is fine with Baby Ellingham, but we don't want a scare like yesterday again. So…keep to yourself…it's just for 10 days. Will you be able to manage?"

"Off course. We're not animals." Martin had a look of utter disgust on his face. How dare this woman suggest things like that about him and Louisa? They weren't lovesick overly active hormone-raged teenagers anymore. They have self-control!

"Martin! Thank you doctor Tailor. We appreciate everything you've done. Should I still keep my appointment for Tuesday in a week?"

"Yes, Please. We should stick to our regular appointments. And I think it will be good to see you again. We can see if baby is fine. So I'll see you in 12 days?"

"Yes, I'll see you then." Louisa flashed a smile and Dr Tailor turned and left.

"Well, I'll go for a quick shower and get dressed – if you don't mind. Then we can go home." Louisa shifted herself to the edge of the bed.

"Fine. But we need to remove the bandage from your ankle and wrist before you go. Let me." Martin bend down and unwrapped Louisa's ankle and then removed the one from her wrist as well. She made herself stand and was just about to hop on one foot when she was swept off her feet. Martin carried her to the bathroom! It felt wonderful to be in his arms and she gently wrapped hers around his neck. When they reached the shower he placed her down softly. He left, only to return a couple of moments later with her bag.

"Thank you Martin! That was very kind of you. Now, let me start or we'll be here the whole day!"

"Yes. Will you manage with the shower?" Martin was not sure he could leave her alone.

"I promise to call if I am struggling." She reassured him and he left her alone.

As he was waiting for Louisa to finish, he took her medical file and went through the stats. He took out the graphs and frowned when he saw the increase on one of them somewhere during the night. He wondered what it was about.

He went over to the nurse's station and asked the attending nurse if she knew anything about it. The nurse said that she was briefed quickly when she took over from the night staff. The Night nurse told her that Mrs Ellingham had a nasty nightmare. She was very upset, therefor the increase in the graph. Martin turned and headed back to the room while a deep frown got stuck between his eyes.

He felt so bad for Louisa. She probably relived the fall and all the uncertainty about the wellness of the baby! He wished he could take it all away from her. Help her realize that it was all right. They were both fine.

The door from the bathroom opened and Louisa stood there in a Lovely floral dress. She looked a bit flushed and unsteady so he rushed over to her side and picked her up again, placing her on the bed.

He then took the neatly rolled bandage and wrapped her ankle, probably better than it was done before. Next was her wrist.

"Are you ready to leave?" He looked at her with those big eyes.

She smiled at him and said: "Yeah, let's go home"


	33. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Louisa felt extremely frustrated as she laid in bed. It was Sunday afternoon and she felt like screaming! Of course Martin took Doctor Tailors request for bedrest very literal. When she arrived home on Thursday, he carried her to bed straight away. Yes, carried! She tried to protest a couple of times, but had to give in at the end due to his logical statements of "you need to elevate your ankle if you want the swelling to go down" and "you need to rest Louisa, and so does the baby" and this medical fact and that medical statement. She got into bed pretty much to shut him up! And that's where she spend most her time up until now. Her ankle's swelling decreased tremendously thanks to Martin again. He took real good care of her by putting a cold compression on her elevated ankle three times a day for 20 minutes. He made breakfast, lunch and dinner and brought it up for her. He ran her bath every evening and carried her to the bath and back so she didn't have to hop around. he even brought James to her every now and again to play a bit. She had to admit, he's been very sweet. He also seemed to enjoy it.

But after 4 days of complete bed rest she was fed up. She was ready to get out and about…back to normal. She knew that her ankle still needed some caring for but it was feeling and looking a lot better. But even though she would be released from bed rest by Monday as per Dr Tailor, she didn't have the prospect of getting "back to normal". She sighed heavily as she thought back to Thursday.

She contacted Stu McKenzie early Thursday morning before Martin came, but as it goes in a small village he already knew of the fall and also ordered her to rest and get better. He didn't want to hear about it when she said she'd be back at school the following Monday. He told her that he didn't want to see her anywhere near the school before the next term starts. She tried protesting and told him that there was the Christmas play and all the marking but he didn't want to hear a thing! According to him, the staff, that she trained, were quite capable to handle the last couple of days on their own and it would be a good experience for them all to handle the play by themselves. She had no choice but to listen. Just before he rang of he said: "O and Louisa, Congrats on the new baby. "

That took her by surprise! She didn't quite expect that line from anyone yet. She knew Al, Morwenna and Bert were at the surgery when she and Martin left in the ambulance the previous night. Maybe they overheard something when the medics spoke as she was sure Martin would never tell anyone. And if Bert knew, the whole village knew.

So on their way back from the hospital, while Martin was driving, Louisa was sitting back comfortably in the back seat, Louisa told Martin about her conversation with Stu and also how he congratulated her on their new baby.

"I wonder how he found out. I figured that with Bert, Al and Morwenna present when the paramedics attended, they might have heard something. That's all I can think of."

Louisa looked at Martin in his rear view mirror and saw immediately that he looked a bit…uneasy. He did everything to avoid her gaze in the mirror.

"Did YOU tell them Martin?" Louisa asked with raised eyebrows.

"Uhm…" He swallowed hard and quickly looked at her before he sighed loudly.

"It slipped out."

"What do you mean 'slipped out'. You never let something slip out?"

Martin quickly looked at her in the mirror and then focussed on the road again. "Bert asked if you'd be all right and before even giving it a second thought, I told them that you're ankle might be broken, but that we are more concerned about the baby!"

Louisa looked at Martin with disbelieve but then she smiled. "Oh, I see. Did the great Dr Ellingham break patient confidentially – telling one and all that Mrs Ellingham was expecting?"

"I didn't tell one and all! I just happened to tell the right…or rather wrong person depending on how you look at it." Martin looked really worried and was on defence mode. He was guilty as charged, but he hoped that Louisa wouldn't be too mad about it.

Much to his surprise, her laughter filled the car. He was once again astonished at how she often completely surprised him!

It's fine Martin. I don't mind people knowing anymore. I planned for us to tell Ruth after the 14 week check-up and then all my friends, but now the cat's out of the bag. It's OK, really. Relax"

"Right."

Louisa had something else on her mind that she needed to tell Martin as well.

"Martin?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I can ask Ruth if she'd be able to take me for my appointment at Dr Tailor Friday in a week?"

Martin frowned and looked at Louisa quickly. Her eyes however were turned away from the mirror, staring out the back window.

"I will take you"

Louisa bit her lip and Martin could see that something was bothering her and it made him worry.

"Martin, I phoned a psychiatrist yesterday afternoon and made an appointment with her for the same day as my 14 week appointment with Dr Tailor. I originally planned to travel by myself…but with what happened, I feel better if someone would drive me. I thought Ruth would be a good choice. I will meet the psychiatrist at 11:30 and Dr Tailor at 14:00, so it will be a couple of hours. I don't want you to close surgery again. And with the fact that it will be my first visit to the psychiatrist, I thought Ruth would be a good companion to have around on that day."

Martin seemed puzzled. "Why"

"Oh, I figured that she used to be one herself and …a woman and …."

Martin interrupted her stutter. "I mean why do you feel the need to go see a psychiatrist …why did you phone _yesterday_?"

Louisa's silence filled the car for a little while before she talked again.

"After the incident with Ben…I was very upset and I went for a walk. I found a bench on the coastal path and sat there for quite a while. I was able to think … long and hard…about a lot of things. I realised that I could have handled a lot of things in the past differently. I wasted a lot of time on stupid ideas. And after hearing Ben's story, also realised that there are many things to be thankful for…things and people I shouldn't take for granted. You took some steps to better yourself and our relationship, and it's been going a lot better between us. Now it's my turn to also work on us. And me. I have some demons that needs sorting. So I made an appointment."

Martin didn't say a word. He just stared at the road ahead.

After a couple of moments, Louisa spoke, her voice sounded a bit shaky.

"Martin, are we….are we ok? We haven't been able to discuss the incident with Ben. I don't want it to become a wall between us." She turned her head and looked at him again in the mirror. "I promise you that it was purely one sided and incidental. I have no feelings what so ever for Ben. I love YOU."

Martin quickly looked a Louisa and saw the worry on her pretty face. He didn't understand why she needed to bring up the Ben incident again. He thought they settled it in the ambulance. Did he not tell her that Ben showed her a picture of his wife…and did he not tell her that he knew it was not her fault?

Maybe she didn't pay attention…sometime you might forget things when you're faced with fear…and yesterday was quite a frightening ordeal.

"Louisa, I told you, Ben explained everything, showed me a picture of his wife. I do understand what happened. I don't blame you."

"You seemed very upset when you left the kitchen. I didn't know what you were thinking and feeling! I wanted to tell you myself, but Ben beat me to it. I was so afraid you were angry at me! You left without saying anything, without giving me any indications of … I didn't know where you went!" Louisa's voice sounded desperate.

"I just… needed time… I actually went to the new house. I was standing in our new bedroom, admiring the wonderful view…remembering our time together there…also realizing how lucky I am. That's more or less when I received your call.

"Oh" She didn't expect to hear that from Martin! It simply blew her away.

Martin looked at Louisa and she was stunned again by his words. "I …uhm…love you"

In the back seat her eyes filled with tears again.

"Thanks for understanding. I didn't expect …" Louisa's voices drifted off and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"What? You didn't think I would believe Ben… or you?"

"No. It was quite an unusual situation and incident." Louisa's eyes took Martin's hostage.

"We always seem to attract the unusual."

From the back seat came Louisa's laughter. "Yes, we do, don't we?"

Thursday afternoon, she received a couple of visitors. Her colleagues from school came to wish her well. They brought a couple of pictures from the kids and a lot of little letters of congratulations on the new baby. Her colleagues informed her that Stu told them what happened and also that she won't return for this last week and a bit. They were a bit worried about the Christmas Play, but she assured them that the kids already knew the steps and things…it only needed to be drilled in. She also asked them to bring her a lot of the marking since she would have nothing else to do at home in any case except working on e-mails.

She also received a bouquet of flowers from the School Governing Body and numerous cards from the villagers.

She looked over at the bunch of flowers on her night stand. It was starting to look a bit dull due to the lack of sunlight and fresh air, much like herself. She needed to get out of the room for a bit. So she got up, dressed herself in a loose fitted pants and jersey, brushed her hair and took the crutches that Martin brought her 'in case she needed to get to the bathroom'. She made her way to the top of the stairs. When she reached it, Martin was standing at the bottom, looking at her with an incredulous look on his face! Ah, he must have heard the crutches on the wooden floor. Darn!

"What are you doing?" Martin ascended the stairs and stopped on the step just below her. Their eyes were level and they both looked at the other with determination.

"Martin, please! I really need to get out of that room for a bit. If you don't want this new baby to come out all Bodmin, you'll let me pass!" She cocked her head a bit and raised her eyebrows.

But Martin stood his ground! "No, no no! Dr Tailor said bed rest until the end of the week!"

"Well, it IS the end of the week, it can't get any further now, can it?" Louisa wasn't going to back out on this. She needed fresh air, sunlight…even someone to talk to beside Martin or James. She's been in that room for far too long. She's a people's person, unlike Martin.

While Louisa was making her statement, she moved closer to him, to really get into his face. She wanted him to see and feel her desperation. But all of the sudden she was the one feeling a bit too much. Their eyes were level and she was very close to him. She felt a flutter in her tummy and her heart did a double take as she breathed in his all familiar smell! O gosh, she thought, he smelled so good! Her eyes wondered down to his mouth and those luscious lips looked quiet inviting! She felt herself moving closer to him and touched his lips lightly with hers. When she broke away, she was surprised that she managed to give him such a gentle kiss as the stir she felt inside of her was anything but gentle! She leaned in again and this time she couldn't control it anymore. She dropped the crutches and wrapped her arms around his neck. This kiss was filled with a lot more passion. When Louisa finally released Martin they were both kind of breathless. Martin saw the look in her eyes and he knew exactly what she was thinking. Louisa was quite a hot blooded woman and that look meant just one thing.

Martin looked deeply into her eyes. "Louisa,Dr Tailor said we can't …uhm… for 6 more days."

"O Yeah" She bit her bottom lip and looked disappointed. Then a mischievous grin appeared on her face. "So you're counting the days?"

Martin tried to look disgusted. "No! I … I was merely stating a fact!" But his eyes were soft and gentle and his words never matched his expression!

Louisa could only smile at him! He's been very sweet these past couple of days! And that made it even more difficult to let him go.

"Well, if we can't do that, maybe you could help me down these stairs and the three of us can take a drive? Just up the coast? Anywhere. I really need to get out of this house!"

Fifteen minutes later Martin's Lexus was seen leaving the surgery.


	34. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

The week before the school closed for Christmas break was quite busy. The teachers at Portwenn Primary took turns right after school to visit Louisa with a box full of markings. They were quite thankful that she offered as they were quite busy at school with the Christmas play and she was thankful to contribute in some way as she felt quite guilty for not being able to help.

On Wednesday evening after dinner, while sitting in the living room, each engaged in their own little world, Louisa asked Martin if he would like to join her the following night to the schools Christmas play.

"You're planning on going?" Martin looked like he smelled something rotten.

"Yes, Martin. I am still the Head of the school. And it's very important to the kids. They worked hard on it."

"But your ankle…" Martin started to protest.

"…Is all better, thanks to you. I can already walk on it. The swelling has gone down in record time. I will be careful, though. I promise to be seated the whole evening. But I need to go tomorrow night. Now, will you and James join me or not?" With raised eyebrows and big eyes, her stare forced an answer from him.

Martin's shoulders dropped and he let out a sigh. "Is it absolutely necessary?" Even before he said the words, he knew what Louisa's response will be.

He was correct. Louisa was ready for those exact words from her introverted husband.

"Martin! I …" Suddenly Louisa stopped talking. It felt like she was hit with a bucket of cold water.

Numerous scenes from the past flashed in front of her eyes. Incidents where she sort of forced Martin to do something, go somewhere, act a certain way. All of them with the same outcome. Martin hating every minute of it and then acting on it. And she's left feeling disappointed in him, when she knew that was how he would act in the first place. What a fool she's been! Why does she constantly do this to him, to them? Gosh, Dr Timoney was right. She sets him up for failure every time!

Martin looked at Louisa with a puzzled look on his face. He expected her outburst, knew it was coming and had his barriers up. But suddenly she stopped and the look on her face is quite hard to place. Will he ever understand this woman?

Louisa gave him a shy smile. "No, it's not. I am sorry. If you don't want to go, you don't have to. I do think James would have enjoyed it though, but I won't be able to take him by myself as I can't be running after him all evening. So if you're not going, would you mind keeping him with you?"

Martin was speechless. What just happened?

He was barely able to speak so a soft "Yes" was all he could manage.

Louisa tapped Martin's leg and gave him a bright smile. "Besides, for now you're not really obligated to go yet, are you? But in a couple of years, James will attend school and then you'll _have_ to go!"

Martin wished that James stayed one and a half forever.

The rest of the week was incident free. On Thursday Louisa went to the Christmas play and returned 2 hours later. She was in high spirits. It was good to be around everyone from the village again. The play was …well as good as can be expected from the kids. A couple of flops here and there only caused for great entertainment. Since it was the first time she was out after the incident, everyone wanted to talk to her. Her cheeks were sore from all the smiling. But her heart felt light and happy.

On Friday Louisa went to school, despite of Martin's protests.

"School's only open for a little while today Martin. I'll be home early and I promise I will come rest immediately, Ok?"

There wasn't much he could say. He knew her too well by now.

When Martin took a quick lunch break, Louisa was already home. She prepared lunch for them.

"I though you said you'd rest when you get home?"

"I just wanted to make you lunch for a change, Martin. Once were done, I'll go up and rest a bit. Janice and James are out and about." Louisa sounded a bit irritated and Martin saw that she looked tired. He looked down at her ankle and saw that there was a bit of swelling. He knew talking about it would only antagonize her, so he kept his mouth shut. They sat down and ate their lunch in silence.

Martin was the first to break the silence after he washed the dishes. "Uhm, its Friday today." He said.

Louisa looked up and frowned. "I know it's Friday, Martin." She shook her head a little. Sometimes he's just difficult to understand.

"I am due for an appointment with Dr Alan today."

"O, yeah, right. I'll prepare dinner then?" Louisa exhaled loudly. She never thought one day at school would tire her out so much. She needed to make a serious effort to get some exercise.

"I was thinking… if you get some proper rest this afternoon and elevate that swollen ankle …" he said while pointing at it with his finger, "We can go out to dinner tonight?"

"Are you serious Martin? You want to take us to dinner, me and James?"

"Yes, Why not?"

She smiled at him. "Thank you Martin, we gladly accept your invitation for a dinner date. In fact, I'm looking forward to it."

"Right. But I'm serious, you have to go rest, NOW." He pointed towards the stairs and Louisa reluctantly turned around but not before she noticed the faintest smile on Martin's lips.

When Martin's Lexus stopped in front of the surgery after his session with Dr Alan, he felt a light head ache knocking. He thought the day's session would focus on his assignment, but after Dr Alan **_somehow_** extracted the info relating to the events of the past 2 weeks early on in their conversation, **_that_** was all he focussed on. As if it wasn't enough that he went through them in real life, he had to relive every emotion and feeling in Dr Alan's study. Dr Alan talked about his reactions and responses and what he could do in future situations like those, which left him baffled as he sure hope that in the future situations like those wouldn't come up again!

Dr Alan made him understand that his immediate reaction when Ben told him what happened left _him_ feeling unsecure and when Louisa returned and he didn't talk to her, it left _her_ insecure. He emphasized the importance again of talking to his wife. Telling her what's on his mind. He also reminded Martin again that he was worthy of a beautiful wife and loving son. He's worthy of happiness! And that he shouldn't allow anyone or anything take it away without a fight. Dr Alan also suggested that he pay his wife more compliments. Women love to hear them.

It made him think of Dr Timoney's suggestions just before she had her accident. When they had to embrace three times a day and say something positive to one another. He found it easy to compliment Louisa. There's so many things about her that's worth complimenting.

Martin looked down at his phone and his face softened quite bit. Just before he left Dr Alan he send Louisa this message which have become somewhat customary.

 _"The path that leads to love is so narrow that two can't walk on it unless they become one. Thank you for becoming one with me. Love. Martin"_

He only had to wait a couple of seconds before the light on his own phone flashed.

 _"I love you more than I did yesterday…but not more than I will tomorrow – Louisa._

When Martin walked into the kitchen Louisa and James was waiting for him. At first they both just stared at one another for a moment or two. Louisa looked lovely! She had a flowery skirt and a red top on and her hair was in a neat pony tail. The little make up she used only complimented her radiant features. As a doctor he noticed the slight changes in her body. As her husband and dare he say lover, he only saw the beauty that she exuberated. He wanted to tell her that she looked beautiful, but thought that he might be overusing that line. Surely he could come up with something better. But looking at her turned his brain to mush so he only walked over to her and tried to at least let his solid but gentle kiss do the talking. After finally releasing her he turned and walked upstairs to freshen up.

After a couple of minutes he returned only to find Louisa in the same spot.

"Ready to go?"

Louisa shook her head a little as if she tried to shake off something. "Yes, Martin. Let me just put on James' jacket, then we can go. Shall we just walk?"

"Impossible." Martin picked up James and also grabbed his bag. He turned and started to walk towards the door with Louisa following closely.

"My ankle is fine Martin. A little stroll might be just what is needed."

"Firstly – your shoes are very impractical for any form of walking and for an ankle that was sprained a couple of days ago. Secondly – I booked us a table at The Oliver's Restaurant in Wadebridge. I don't think it would be advisable to walk there."

"O, I see. I thought we were just going out to dinner locally."

Martin turned around so suddenly that Louisa almost bumped into him and James.

"I…wanted to have an evening alone…just the tree of us. If we stayed in town, we wouldn't be able to." He looked into her eyes and she saw so many things that it was hard to pinpoint anything.

She gave him a massive smile and said: "Let's go then, Dr Ellingham."

"Right, Mrs Ellingham"


	35. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

On Saturday morning Louisa woke up when she heard a knock on the door. She reached for Martin but his spot was already empty. Ah, luckily she didn't have to get up. She smiled a little as she shifted her body to lie on Martin's side of the bed. Why does it always feel warmer and softer on that side, she wondered? She inhaled deeply to breath him in as much of his as possible. Five more minutes she thought as she drifted off again.

When Martin entered the room half an hour later with a breakfast tray, he stopped to look at his wife. She was stretched out, mostly lying on his side of the bed. Her ruffled hair was spread across the pillows and she had a peaceful look on her face. He placed the tray on the drawer.

"Louisa", he said softly while he kneeled at her side, slowly moving some of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "I brought you breakfast"

Louisa opened her eyes and saw Martin's face close to hers. Her face softened even more as she looked deeply into his eyes.

"You do know that I am all healed up. You don't have to spoil me with breakfast in bed anymore. If you keep this up I might get used to it so much that I'll have you do it every day." She had a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous grin.

Martin didn't move but stayed close to her. "I wouldn't mind that…uhm…Bringing you breakfast in bed."

Louisa leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you Martin." Reluctantly she sat up straight while Martin handed her the tray.

"It's half an hour before surgery starts. I already dressed and fed James. He's in his playpen for the moment. If you want you can quickly take a shower." Martin stood by the door as he spoke.

"You're such a good dad, Martin" She smiled at him and it made him rather uncomfortable. He tugged at his ear and ducked his head while he turned to leave when he remembered something. He turned around and walked halfway into the room again.

"What are your plans for the day?"

"Oh, nothing much. I'll just spend a little time with James today. I feel with everything that happened, I did not spend much time with him these past 2 weeks. So today, it's just the two of us…until you're done with surgery that it. Maybe the three of us could do something together this afternoon?"

"Yes. Ben stopped by this morning to inform me that he has finished the job. He want us to go look at it this afternoon."

"He's done already?" Louisa could hardly believe that two weeks passed so quickly. But she remembered that Ben promised to be finished on the Friday the school closed. With everything that happened, she almost completely forgot about Ben…She wondered how he was holding up.

"Yes." Martin tried to place Louisa's expression as he thought she would be glad to hear that it was done. But her frown threw him off a little. Was she not happy to hear it? Or was it the fact that he mentioned Ben?

Louisa shrugged her shoulders and looked at Martin who was still waiting for an answer. "What time do you need us to be ready? I can't wait to see the end product." Her face lit up.

Martin was relieved to see her excitement return. "My last appointment for the day is at 12. So I'd say round 1?"

"Perfect! Now I really have something to look forward today!" Louisa placed the tray to the side, jumped up and hugged Martin. "I can't believe we'll move into our house soon! You just made my day, you know?"

"Right. I need to go prepare for my first patient. I'll keep an eye on James until you're finished"

"Yes, right. I'll quickly eat and shower and will be down in a jiffy. See you later then?"

Martin just grunted as he turned and headed for the stairs. Louisa could only smile. Although a lot of things changed, Martin will always be…Martin.

When Martin entered the kitchen at 12:40, Louisa and James were also there. Louisa made them chicken soup and sandwiches for lunch and it was dished up already.

"I thought we could have a quick bite before we go?"

"Good. I'll just go wash up." He was back quickly and they ate in silence, each busy with their own thoughts. Louisa opted to feed James his soup but allowed him to eat his sandwich by himself. She didn't want to do too much damage control afterwards. She was eager for them to get to the house.

When Martin got up and started to clean Louisa couldn't take it. "Martin I am sure it will be OK if we clean this up when we get back."

"But ..." when he looked at his wife he saw that she couldn't contain herself any more. "Yes."

When they came around the corner to view their house, both Louisa and Martin were quite amazed at how a little paint changed the view of the house! Ben was waiting at the front door.

"Good afternoon Dr Ellingham. Hi Louisa! Hello James!" He ruffled James' hair and was rewarded with an adorable grin from James!

"Right, where shall we start? "

Louisa was eager to see everything. They decided to start from the top and work their way down. They climbed the stairs and went to James' room first. The room looked wonderful. It was the perfect shade of soft blue. In the middle of the room were James' little bunk beds - still covered with plastic. Louisa's face spoke volumes! Martin and Ben saw the excitement bubbling from her inner core. She spun James around in circles. "Look James! Your new room. We're going to make it real pretty so you'll love spending time in it! Won't we daddy?" She smiled at Martin and Ben felt like he received a kick in the gut!

Martin stared at James and Louisa. He nodded his head and a mumbled yes escaped his lips.

Happiness. Could he make her happy? If that is the look of his wife being happy, he would work incredibly hard every single day for the rest of his life to ensure that look of utter joy stays on her face! And for the first time he truly believed that he has the ability to make her truly happy.

The nursery door was closed and since they agreed to do it later, Louisa went over to the bathroom. Again she was very satisfied with the workmanship. Everything was finished off very neatly.

Next up was the Master bedroom. Louisa saw it about a week and a half back, and knew that it was almost finished then. When she stepped through the room, it was just as she remembered it…only the little spot at the door was also done now. They went to the master bathroom and it was looking great!

"Ben, you're really good at this. Everything looks simply fantastic! It's hard to believe that you're a teacher! You have a lot of talent." Louisa smiled at Ben.

They went downstairs and together they checked out the living room, dining room, kitchen and the study. The colours they've chosen for all the walls looked so nice and just perfect. Martin took Louisa to the extra bedroom-bathroom. She was quite surprised to see that the room and bathroom was painted in a soft beige brown. It was very neutral, any sort of décor would look good with the colour.

When Louisa turned around to ask Martin about it, he said that he wanted the whole house to be finished. He didn't want to leave anything for later. When they move in, everything should be done.

Louisa bit her lip and a little frown appeared. "Maybe we should have picked a colour for the nursery as well. A neutral colour would have worked perfectly. The whole house look spectacular…now it's only the nursery that's not done! Bugger!"

Louisa looked at Martin and saw that Martin looked at Ben oddly. In return Ben shrugged his shoulders and gave Martin a small nod. "Go ahead, Dr Ellingham, Show her." He smiled his brilliant smile!

"Uhm, Louisa…" Martin cleared his throat and seemed a bit … nervous?

Louisa didn't like this feeling of not knowing. She felt as if the two men was hiding something and started to get a little annoyed with their knowing glances at each other! "Wot?" She tilted her head and looked at them simultaneously!

"About the nursery…I…Ben…hmmm…we…" Martin struggled to get the right words. He knew that Louisa could either take this in the right way…or the wrong. The problem is, with her he never knew which way she'd choose.

Ben saw that the Doctor struggled a bit and stepped in to help.

"Dr Ellingham wanted to do something special. And I had some ideas."

Louisa felt even more confused than before either of them started talking! What are they rambling about?

Ben could see that talking was no longer an option. They would just have to show her!

"Louisa, Dr Ellingham has a surprise for you. Can we go show you?"

"Martin?"

Martin only took her arm and with James in her other, they climbed the stairs for the second time. They stopped in front of the nursery's closed door.

"Louisa, I know you said we should do the nursery together…but I told you that I wanted the whole house to be finished before we move in. I don't want stranger's stumbling around our house when we stay here. So I had some help with the colour and design…uhm…so we finished the nursery."

With that being said, Martin opened the door to the nursery. Ben said he'd take James for a moment and before entering the room, she handed her son to Ben.

Louisa walked into the room and was truly flabbergasted! What she saw before her eyes was far more than what she ever imagined for this room!

The left side and window walls were painted in soft grey and the wall to the right was off-white. The left grey wall had some paintings on. White fluffy clouds and a bright sun filled the top part of the wall and green grass, a stream and colourful flowers filled the bottom part. The middle part was filled with all sorts of animals and trees. The whole thing looked so real, as if you took a picture and just pasted it there! Very creatively done! The white wall was painted with a whole bunch of little dots in all colours, widely spread across the whole wall. The room was not colour binding, any plain colour would go perfectly with the room. It was simply beautiful!

Louisa turned towards Martin with a look of true amazement! Her mouth was literally hanging open, she was speechless.

Martin on the other hand was waiting in anticipation. Would Louisa accept the fact that he just wanted to do something special…or will she see it in the same light as when he painted the London flat all white, without consulting her.

"Martin!" she said shaking her head. "How did you manage this?"

"Do you like it?" His big eyes was staring into Louisa's, not sure what would follow.

"Yes, I absolutely Love it! Wow! Who did the wall painting?" Louisa turned around again and walked towards the pictured wall.

Ben stepped in and told Louisa that he met this young lady at the pub one night who mentioned that she was an artist. He visited her once and she showed him her paintings. When Martin talked to him about the nursery, he suggested this idea to Martin and the rest was history.

"Are you sure you like it, Louisa? I know you said we should do it together…but …"

Louisa walked towards Martin and put her arms around his waist. He stiffened considerably. Ben was in the room after all. He never cared for showing affection while others were around. It's inappropriate. Louisa on the other hand could care less.

"I really love it. The baby will love it. It's simply perfect. Just like the rest of the house. Thank you."

She leaned in and kissed him on the lips while he turned all shades of red.

"Louisa!" Martin loosened her arms and shrugged himself loose from her embrace. She only shook her head and let him go! One day, maybe one day, he will get used to it all.

They left the room and walked downstairs and out the front door. After they locked the door, Ben turned and handed the keys to Martin and James to Louisa.

"I would suggest you come and open it up over the weekend some more so that it can air out. Might still take one or two days for the smell to fade. But after that, you're good to go" He walked towards Martin and stretched his right hand.

"Dr Ellingham, Louisa, it was great to work for you. I loved staying at White Rose Cottage. It was the perfect house for my stay in this spectacular little town. Our arrangement worked out wonderfully. Thank you both for your hospitality, even after I embarrassed myself."

Martin took Ben's hand and shook it firmly. They both looked at one another. There was a mutual feeling of understanding between the two of them.

Louisa smiled at Ben and also stuck out her hand while she said: "Thank you Ben. Take real good care of yourself. I hope you were able to find yourself again while you were here. And I hope that you'll return to our village someday. Safe travels back home."

He took her hand but did not shake. He turned it around and lightly placed a kiss on the back of her hand. He smiled his brilliant white smile and said. "Thanks' for everything. You've helped me far more than you'll ever imagine! When I go back home, I'll be able to take control of my own life again."

Louisa swallowed a lump that got stuck in her throat so before she got too emotional, she turned around and started talking to James about how they would soon come live in this wonderful house.

When Louisa was a bit out of earshot, Ben leaned in and whispered to Martin: "When a beautiful lady like that wants to hug and kiss you, no matter where, you got to let her Doctor. Show her every day how much she means to you, as in a blink of an eye, you could lose it all." And with that Ben turned around and walked away from the Ellingham's.

Martin only saw Ben one more time – at the surgery the following Monday when he came to hand over White Rose Cottage's key. He was on his way to the train station. And just like that he was out of their lives for ever.


	36. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

When the sunlight started to crawl up the walls in the Ellingham bedroom on Sunday morning, Louisa was glad that the long night was over. She barely slept at all. The dreaded nightmare that started in the hospital a while ago, haunted her every now and then. Last night the dream was a bit different. Where Ben was part of the dream on previous occasions, he was not anymore. Instead the small baby girl was just lying somewhere in the grass, all by herself, crying. Louisa had to choose between answering Martin and James and following the baby's crying. It was horrible as she was unable to choose.

Although it didn't happen every night, it happened enough times to make her dread going to sleep leaving her feeling exhausted. She didn't tell Martin about it. She knew it would make him worry too much. He didn't need that. Besides, she was sure it was only temporary, she and the baby are both fine. She should just forget about it, push it out of her mind. There are so many wonderful things that should rather fill her thoughts. Like Friday night.

She turned on her side and looked at her sleeping husband, lying straight as a stick on his back. She smiled. O dear Martin. So gruff and rude to the world outside, yet in the privacy of their bedroom he's so gentle, patient and loving. It's like 2 different people.

She reached for his right hand that was lying at his side. Slowly she slipped her hand underneath his, afraid to wake him. She just needed to feel his skin against hers.

Skin against skin…like Friday. She felt a stirring inside of her as she closed her eyes, reliving the events of that night.

When they arrived at the restaurant on Friday evening, they were escorted to a secluded part, sort of tucked away from the rest of the guests. A baby chair was already stationed at the table so she put James in it. The waiter took their drinks order – just two waters- and they were left to decide on what to order for dinner.

Although Wadebridge was really close to Portwenn, Louisa didn't often go there. Life in her own little village was enough and she always felt that Portwenn had everything she needed.

However, she did visit that exact same restaurant with Danny the time he came down from London, when they tried to rekindle their old romance. Of course she wouldn't mention it to Martin, he's a bit sensitive about Danny probably with good cause. Danny didn't behave very appropriately the last time they saw him.

Louisa brought James a juice box and poured it into his Sippy cup which she always tagged along. The little one leaned back into the high chair and stared at the Christmas tree that was standing near them in a corner. The tree was beautifully decorated with lights that twinkled consistently. Louisa stared at James for a long time. She wondered what her little son was thinking as he stared at the tree. They did not have a Christmas tree at the Surgery. She hoped that Martin will allow her, them, to have a tree at the new house. She hoped that he would get into the Christmas spirit, especially for their kids' sake. She always dreamed about a Christmas with a family, her family. Like the ones they tend to show on the telly. Her mind started to wonder and she remembered a Christmas a long time ago. A frown formed on her forehead as the memories flooded her mind while she stared at the twinkling of the lights

It was the first Christmas Eve after Eleanor left her and Terry. Times was tough, as usual. Terry went out early in the afternoon with the promise of returning home in time for dinner with a Christmas tree and a present. He said that he just needed to go 'talk to a guy about a horse' which only meant he went to the pub to gamble. She hoped that, since it was Christmas and all, their first one alone, he would keep his promise. She waited and waited. Right after the clock announced midnight she finally had to admit that Terry wasn't bringing a tree, or dinner and definitely not a present. He forgot about her. Like many times before when he was out drinking and gambling.

She vowed that one day she would ensure her children would always have a tree with lots of sparkling lights and a gift to look forward to.

Last Christmas life was upside down. And James was only a couple of months old. But this year, she might be able to finally start her tradition. She finally had her perfect family! She looked over at Martin and saw that he was staring at her. She realised that since they arrived, neither of them said a single word. For him, it was quite normal.

She took a deep breath and asked: "When we move into the new house, can we get a tree?"

"I recall numerous trees in the backyard Louisa, why would you want another one." Martin looked puzzled.

"A Christmas Tree, Mar-Tin. I would like a Christmas tree for our house. INSIDE." She turned and faced James who was done with his juice. He still stared at the flashing lights. "I always wanted a proper big old tree with lots of sparkling lights. With presents underneath and a star at the top. And by the look on James' face, he wants one too." Louisa still had a far off look. Then she smiled at her son, took his sippy cup and placed it on the table. She took one of his small hands and placed a kiss on it. He pointed at the tree and flashing lights and started babbling. "See, he agrees with me. So what do you say Martin?"

"Uh, trees are…smelly and their messy…and…they can cause…"

"LOU! Is that you?" a voice from behind Martin disrupted the tree conversation.

"O Gawd!" Martin growled. His expression clearly showed utter disgust as he and Louisa both realised immediately who it was.

From behind Martin Danny and a very attractive, well dressed beautiful blond woman appeared. Louisa closed her eyes for a second or two, took a deep breath, opened her eyes and smiled while she stood up.

"Danny. How are you?" She said with an even tone. Why, oh why, did Danny have to be here tonight?

"Ah, you know. Busy." He turned to Martin and said. "Martin." Danny smiled down at Martin who mumbled something no one understood. He didn't even look at Danny, but glared at Louisa.

Louisa diverted her attention to the beautiful woman next to Danny. "Hi I am LOUISA. This here is my son James and my husband Martin" She tried smiling her most beautiful smile as she felt so small against this sophisticated beauty. She looked at Martin and hinted with her head for him to get up.

"Oh, I am sorry," Danny said "Where's my manners. Lou, Martin, this is Freya Cox. My soon to be step sister."

Louisa smiled at the woman and shook her hand. Martin reluctantly got up and when he turned to face the woman, Louisa saw her husband stiffen and shock was written all over his face.

"Dr Ellingham!" The woman walked closer to Martin, took hold of his hand and shook it slowly. "What a pleasant surprise to see you again. Isn't it a small world?" She looked up at Martin with sparkles in her exceptional blue eyes and used the back of her hand to wipe away some blond curls while her other hand kept holding Martin's. She had a low cut tight fit black dress on and it put emphasis on every single curve of her perfect body.

Louisa saw how Martin withdrew his hand quickly and took a step back. Instead of admiration and desire for such an attractive woman, Louisa saw anger and disgust in her husband's eyes. He clearly knew her and was not pleased to see her.

"Too small." He grunted and took another step away from Freya

When Freya spoke again, her voice dripped with sweetness. "Danny, when you said your hometown local GP was Doc Martin, I never knew it would be THE Martin Ellingham!"

Danny and Louisa, who only stood witness to what happened between them, was brought back to reality.

Danny was the first to attempt to break the awkwardness following Freya's statement. "I did not realize you knew him." He turned to Martin and Louisa and with a smile he turned back to Freya. "How exactly?"

"Oh, Dr Ellingham was my Chief at one stage." She smiled innocently while winking at Martin.

Louisa who up to that moment was left speechless, got her voice back. "So you're a Doctor as well?

Freya dragged her eyes from Martin and diverted her attention to Louisa. "Yes." She said while sizing Louisa up. "I have a private practice in London. I specialise in Breast Augmentation." The way she pronounced her words, made Louisa think of Holly. It seems, when you're in London for a long enough time, you seem to adopt their manners. Including their stuck up smug looks.

"So how do you and Danny know each other?" Louisa could hardly believe that this woman was Danny's type. Maybe he changed his standards.

Even though Louisa directed the question at Freya, it's Danny who explained. "Can you believe it Lou, my Mom is getting married?"

"Wot? Muriel is getting married?" Louisa could hardly believe what came out of Danny's mouth!

"Yes. To Freya's dad. Freya's mom passed away a couple of years ago, and her dad decided to come to the country side and moved to High Trees last spring. Apparently it was love at first sight for the old lovebirds. Their getting married tomorrow, with a small reception for only the High Trees residence and us. Just like me, Freya is an only child. That's why the both of us are here. I offered to take Freya out for a proper dinner tonight. We needed a break from the old folks."

Louisa laughed and said: "I cannot believe it! I wonder what Joan would have thought about this sudden romance. Joan and your mom were inseparable!" She looked over at Martin, but his face was expressionless.

Danny looked a bit uncomfortable and said: "Yeah, she still misses Joan a lot. It was quite a shock to me when she told me about the marriage. But in the end I decided that as long as she is happy, then everything is ok! And to think, this all could have been so much different if it wasn't for Martin here. When she was ill that time she moved to High Trees, everything could have turned out a lot different."

Martin, who was now standing as far as possible from Freya, behind James' chair only ducked his head. He made no effort to engage in the conversation. In fact, he looked very annoyed. Danny picked it up when he glanced at Martin.

"I am sorry Lou; we have rudely interrupted your dinner. Let us not keep you any longer. Have a great evening." Danny placed his hand on Freya's back to indicate that they should leave.

"Oh, it's fine. But please extend our Congratulations to your mom and new husband. And enjoy the reception." Louisa spoke to Danny but her eyes were fixed on Freya's posture.

"It was really nice to see you again Doctor Ellingham. Nice to meet you Louisa" Freya gave Martin a look that was hard to place, then turned and with swaying hips she walked off. Danny looked at Louisa for a couple of seconds before he followed Freya.

Louisa and Martin stood like statues for a little while before the waiter brought them back to the present when he arrived with their orders.

Louisa, who ordered some extra veggies and chicken strips for James, started to feed her son, while Martin ate his dinner in silence. James was talking incoherently between bites and Louisa was having a hard time getting him to finish all his food. After she was fairly sure he wouldn't take another bite, she got out the wipes and cleaned his face and hands. Then she turned to her own plate and started her meal. It was awkwardly silent at the table, apart from James who talked constantly. Louisa could see that Martin was far off. Bugger, she thought. Why are there always elements working against them when they go out together. Martin brought them all the way to Wadebridge to be able to have a nice quiet uninterrupted dinner, and then Danny and the lovely Freya showed up! She hoped the evening wasn't ruined.

"So, how was your fish and veggies?" Louisa tried to get a light conversation going.

"Fine."

"That's nice." She smiled at him but his face stayed emotionless.

Martin looked at his watch and said. "Are you ready to leave Louisa?"

"O, Ok. Sure, right. Thanks for taking us out tonight Martin. It was very thoughtful of you. We enjoyed it a lot, didn't we James?" She stood up and freed James from the high chair. She placed him on the floor while she firmly grabbed his hand to ensure he did not take off.

Martin looked down at his son who wanted to run with all might and said. "It was my pleasure."

While they drove back home, neither of them said a word. Even James' talking grew thin quite quickly and when they arrived home, he was already asleep.

Martin took him to his bed, while Louisa went to the kitchen and switched on the kettle. She needed a sweet cup of tea.

It was still too early to go to bed, so after she made herself a cuppa, she went to settle on the couch in the living room. She hoped that Martin would come sit with her. But after half an hour, she decided to go look for him. She found him standing in front of the window in the bedroom. She walked over and placed her hands around his waist from behind and rested her head against his broad back.

"So who is she?" Louisa knew that Martin was bothered by the appearance of Danny but more so Freya. She needed him to know that he could talk to her. And she needed to know who the beauty was that unsettled Martin so much.

Martin stayed quiet for so long that Louisa nearly gave up in expecting an answer. Just as she started to pull her arms away from his waist, he grabbed her hands and crossed it again around his waist. He put his hands over hers.

"She was a registrar. She was in the same group as Adrian Pitts. Bright. After the first month with the group, she came to my office one evening in tears. She wanted to quite. She said she wasn't going to make it. We had a long discussion as I believed she had potential. The next day she was still there.

Then ...uhm...things started. I received small notes from her saying how much she …uh…loved me and how she wanted…to…be with me. When we were doing rounds, she gave me odds looks and special smiles as she would call it. I never responded. It was inappropriate." Martin did not turn around at all while he talked. His hands just held Louisa's tighter as he continued

"Late one evening while I was doing paperwork she arrived at my office. She wore her white overcoat and insensible shoes. When she came in she closed the door behind her. I immediately stood up to go open it again, as I didn't think it good to be talking to a female registrar with a closed door. She stood before the door, opened her coat and dropped it to the floor! She wasn't wearing anything. She threw herself on me and started kissing me. I managed to free myself, picked up her coat and covered her. I opened the door and asked her to leave. I told her that I am not interested at all. Just outside the door stood Adrian Pitts and another registrar. Adrian had a video camera in hand. Apparently Pitts and Freya had a bet. She said she could get any man she wanted, and Pitts bet her that she would not be able to get me. He was supposed to come into my office and catch it all on camera. I was pleased that he had his camera on when she left my office, as he was able to record the part where I told her I was not interested. She just laughed as she left my office and said that she'll "get me one day". Adrian just laughed and said: "Thanks Chief. I knew you were as cold as an iceberg. No one can break you". Luckily Freya decided to transfer to another department. I didn't see her again."

Martin breathed out heavily when he was done talking.

Louisa kept quiet for a long time. When she talked her voice was level.

"How do you do that Martin?"

"Do what?"

How do you manage to resist the most beautiful woman …like the Carrie Wilsons and Freya's of the world? Any other man would have grabbed the opportunity. Freya is exceptionally beautiful."

Martin turned around and faced Louisa. "I failed once . . ." His eyes looked deep into hers and that look always made her weak to the core.

She cleared her throat that suddenly felt a bit tight. He failed? Did that mean he actually gave into Freya…? "You did? When…with who?" Louisa could not look into Martin's eyes anymore. Why did she ask? She actually didn't want to know.

"I was unable to resist the _mos_ t beautiful woman in the world." Martin used his hand to lift Louisa's chin so that he could look into her eyes. "She captured my heart with her pirate outfit and missing parrot. And then she threw away the key when she handed me our son." Martin leaned in as he softly placed a kiss on Louisa's lips.

Tears welled up and before she could control them, they dripped down her cheek. "Me? She asked croakily.

"Yes." Was his simple answer.

As Louisa lay next to Martin, with closed eyes, while the sun crept higher on the walls a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. What followed made her heart beat faster, even now, while lying in bed two days later.

She managed to do what Freya was unable to do. She seduced the great Doctor Ellingham – the so called iceberg - and It was truly amazing! Extraordinarily amazing that is.

Suddenly a giggle slipped out as she remembered how Martin, in the middle of a very passionate moment, suddenly stopped, much to her despair and said: "Louisa, it's only been nine days."

She bit her bottom lip as she tried to control the giggles. She opened her eyes only to look smack dead into Martin's!

"Something amusing?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

Louisa laughed loudly. "I was just thinking…about Friday…night."

Martin turned towards her and rested his head on his hand. "It was funny?"

Louisa realised that Martin wasn't going to see it the way she did, so she just leaned over a placed a kiss on his cheek. "No, it was wonderful!"

"Right". He shook his head a little as he didn't understand a thing.

"Do you have any plans for today Martin?" Louisa got up and was walking towards the hallway.

"No."

"Then, how about we start packing? The house is ready. I really want to move as soon as possible. If we put our minds to it, we might be able to stay at the new house by next weekend. Since I am on break now, it shouldn't be too hard" Louisa disappeared around the corner towards the bathroom.

Martin sat up straight in bed. He didn't like the sound of that. He knew Louisa fairly well; she'll take this whole move upon herself and it wouldn't be good in her condition.

After a minute Louisa was back in the room. She walked over to the dresser to get some clean clothes. "Will it be alright if I ask Al to get some of his friends to come and help us with the move? I was thinking, around Thursday, as on Friday I am not here, remember?"

"Louisa, I'd rather call a moving company…"

"Are you serious Martin? Our new house is just around the corner. You want to hire a mover all the way from Newquay or Truro, to come and move a couple of things just around the corner. No, I am sure if I ask Al, he'll round up a couple of helpers and we can do it quite easily. I know you have Surgery, so between me and Al we'll get it done."

Martin got out of bed and walked to where Louisa was standing, clutching her clothes. "Louisa, you are in no position to help with this move! I won't allow it!" He stood in front of her with a determined look on his face.

"Oh, YOU won't allow it, right?" Louisa stood up straight, as if she thought she'd look taller. She folded her arms in front of her, fumbling the jeans and top she had in her hands. She tilted her head to the side and looked challenging at Martin.

"Uh, Yes. Lifting or shifting heavy boxes …or things… might be potentially dangerous for you and …hm... the baby. I… I plan to keep you both safe … _this_ time around. I won't allow anything to happen to you again." Martin looked at his stubborn wife. He hoped she'll listen to him, which is a stretch by any means.

Louisa was ready to take on Martin, whatever he said…but she wasn't prepared for those words. She never gave him a chance to take care of her when she was pregnant with James. She realised more and more that he desperately wanted to. Lost moments, she can never give back to him.

But this time, they both had a second chance.

Her expression softened and she stood a little closer to him. She placed her arms – with a garment in each hand, around his neck. "I won't do anything to harm our baby – again, I promise. If you're set on hiring movers, it's fine. I just think Al could benefit more with a couple of extra pounds." She pecked him lightly on the mouth and then turned for the bathroom.

Martin sighed. That went better than expected. He turned to walk downstairs to go and call Al.

At around 15:30 in the afternoon, Louisa stood up and stretched her arms and legs. She and Martin, with the help of an eager, mostly in the way, James, were busy wrapping things in the surgery and placing them in boxes that Martin collected from the local store since just after breakfast. At around noon Martin made them each a quick sandwich and while James was down for his afternoon nap, she and Martin accomplished quite a bit without the toddler "helping".

"We make quite a team, don't we?" Louisa walked over to where Martin was busy stacking boxes. She wrapped her arms around him.

"Yes." He would not confess this to Louisa, but the day so far has been quite enjoyable. Apart from the fact that he had to reprimand Louisa occasionally for doing too much and James endlessly, he enjoyed this time spend with his family. Louisa and James talked continuously and sang songs while he just enjoyed the companionship. It was nice to have them around.

She looked around and said: "I think we did most of the packing for the living room and kitchen. Wow. I never knew there was so many things to pack. It kind of creeps up on you. Tomorrow I'll be heading upstairs and start packing there." She leaned back a bit while Martin held onto her waist.

"You look very tired. Are you sleeping well? You shouldn't overdo this"

"Well, of course I look tired Martin we've been working nonstop since breakfast and it's the end of a school term. And there was the accident … But…but I'm fine, really." She broke free from him to turn around while she spoke as she was afraid to look into his eyes.

"Right. Why don't you go rest for a bit while I'll go get us something for dinner?" Martin walked over to her and placed his palm against her cheek. With his thumb he brushed over her lips and looked into her eyes with a frown.

"OK, I'll like that. I could do with a decent meal soon; I am quite peckish." Louisa tried her best to smile but it only reached her mouth…not her eyes.

"I'll be back soon then. Go." Martin pushed her towards the stairs. She was happy to obey as she really felt tired.

Louisa's head barely touched the pillow before she was out like a light. When Martin lightly shook her at 17:15, it felt as if she barely fell asleep. But the nap surely did her good as she felt refreshed.

"Dinner's ready". Martin had James in his arms and looked worriedly as his wife.

"Wow, you're fast Martin. Let me just freshen up a bit, I'll be down in a second." Louisa stood up and Martin and James headed downstairs again.

When Louisa arrived in the kitchen, the meal was dished up already and Martin was busy helping James with his meal. James cried out her name and grinned at her with a food smeared face. He looked so cute!

"O Martin. The food looks delicious! I am starving!" She sat down and the 3 Ellingham's finished their meal quickly. Louisa insisted on cleaning the kitchen while Martin took James for his bath.

After wards Louisa said she wanted to take a stroll, she needed a bit of fresh air. She invited Martin and James to join her, but Martin said he felt that it was a bit chilly to take James out after his bath. Besides, they already went for a walk when they went to get supplies for dinner.

"Oh, ok then, I'll just go alone then." She smiled at both her men and kissed them both before she grabbed her jacket and scarf and headed out the back door.

When she reached the front porch, she wasn't sure which direction to go. She finally decided on the coastal path. After her invigorating nap, she felt wonderful and was full of energy, so she managed a brisk walk. The first step in getting more exercise, she thought. The wind was a bit chilly and it really caught you in strength, but it was pretty usual for Portwenn this time of the year. She looked up to the sky and saw fleece clouds rolling in from the sea while the descending sun broke through them every couple of minutes. After walking for quite a while, she found a bench and sat down, looking over to sea trying to catch her breath.

So much happened since the last time she sat on one of these benches. The last time she sat there, she made an appointment to go see a Psychiatrist. She bit her lip and frowned. She had to admit to herself that she was kind of scared. Not scared of the Psychiatrist, just scared. What will she talk about…? What will she want to know?

Suddenly someone sat down next to her on the bench. She was ready to give this person a peace of her mind for being so rude, when she saw that it was Ben.

He smiled his beautiful smile and said: "Hello Louisa.

Louisa was truly surprised to still see him. "Ben, What a surprise! I thought you left already?"

"I am leaving first thing tomorrow morning. My flight leaves at 17:00 tomorrow afternoon from London." He bent forward and rested his elbows on his thighs while crossing his fingers.

"Well, I really hope you enjoyed it here? Portwenn is a beautiful place. I feel very blessed to call this my home." Louisa looked out to where the waves crushed against the rocks. A little sunlight broke free from the cloud filled sky again and the view was simply breath-taking.

Ben looked over at Louisa and said: _"Genade, maar jy is Portwenn se mooiste skat. Ek gaan dit mis om jou elke dag te sien"_

Louisa looked at him puzzled. "Sorry, I don't understand what you said. Care to translate?"

"Uhm, sorry…I said Portwenn is really beautiful. And yes, I enjoyed my stay here a lot. It was very…revealing, in many aspects." Ben sat up straight and looked at Louisa. "Thanks for introducing me to this peace of heaven. One day, I'll come back again."

"Ben? Will you be OK?" Louisa looked at him with true concern reflecting in her eyes. No matter what happened between them, she still felt compassion for this sweet man. He was a really nice guy and deserved happiness. She really hoped the future will allow it for him again.

"I am sure in good time, I'll be fine. I must admit, it was really hard seeing you…for the first time on the beach. It shattered all the broken pieces again that I started to put together, slowly, one by one. The glue wasn't even dry yet. I wasn't prepared for something like that." He brushed with his fingers through his hair.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that!" Louisa's eyes were tearing up. She searched her pockets for a tissue and luckily found one. Damn pregnancy hormones.

Ben spoke again with a soft tone while he looked at Louisa whose tears slowly dripped down her cheek. "Louisa, your husband loves you so very much. As in very very much, it's clear as daylight. And you have the cutest son. Don't waste time bickering about the small stuff. Tell them you love them every single day. The three of you are very lucky to have each other. Cherish it every second of every day." Louisa hardly noticed that Ben took her one hand and held it in his.

Louisa sniffed loudly and said: 'Four".

Ben didn't understand what she meant. He just gave her a puzzled stare.

"We'll be four soon. I am Pregnant." Louisa tried a brave smile through her tears and it brought the truly amazing colours in her eyes out even more.

Ben bit hard on his bottom lip and Louisa saw how this big strong man fought really hard to try and stop the tears that was building in his eyes. "Wonderful!" he said. "The best news all day!" He smiled at her while the dam broke and a tear rolled down his face. He brushed it off quickly and smiled. "Can we stay friends Louisa?"

Louisa smiled. "Of course we can. Do you have your phone here?"

Ben took out his cell phone. Louisa took it and quickly typed in her e-mail address. "Now you can write me whenever you need to talk about anything."

"Thank you." Ben looked at the e-mail address Louisa typed for a while.

A sudden heavy wind brushed against them and it was Louisa's queue that it was seriously time to head back home. The sun completely disappeared and heavy clouds were forming.

Louisa, only realising now that Ben was holding her hand, withdrew quickly and stood up. "Well Ben, as a true Cornish girl, I know this weather is only going to get worse within the next few minutes, so we best head on back." She turned and started walking. Ben followed her and when they reached the surgery Ben tapped her on her shoulder forcing her to stop for a second.

He reached out his hand and said: "It was an honour spending my last "walk" with you. Take care of yourself…and the new baby. Good Bye Louisa!"

Louisa shook his hand and smiled at him. "Good Bye Ben!"

She turned around and disappeared around the corner of the surgery. He stood staring at the spot for a little while before huge raindrops forced him to start running downhill to White Rose Cottage.

 _A/N: THANK YOU soo much for sticking with me...! Apologies for taking so long to post a new chapter! RL is throwing some curveballs...!_

 _Translation to Ben's Afrikaans words (very directly translated): Heavens, you truly ARE Portwenn's prettiest treasure. I'm gonna miss seeing you daily._

 _Hope you enjoyed the chapter? Let me know!_


	37. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Thursday morning bright and early, Louisa was up and ready for the day. She got up even before Martin or James woke up. By the time he and James came downstairs, she already made breakfast and coffee. She was casually dressed and her hair was in the usual ponytail. Her cheeks were a little flushed as she was scampering around in the kitchen. Martin was holding James, who was a little fuzzy since he woke up. He cuddled his face into Martin's neck and together they watched Louisa who didn't even realize they were standing in the door. When she turned to walk out of the kitchen she walked straight into them.

"Oh, morning you two sleepyheads." She leaned over and kissed James' soft cheek and then did the same For Martin. She smiled as she thought how different they both smelled. Different but equally good. "Breakfast is ready".

Martin placed James in his chair but the little one immediately started crying.

"What's wrong sweetheart? Why are you crying?" Louisa picked him up and settled him on her lap. He cuddled into her chest while sticking his fingers in his mouth and drooling all over Louisa's top. She rocked him a bit till his whining stopped. Louisa looked up at Martin with worrying eyes.

"Uhm, I checked him over. He was a bit warm before I got him dressed. We'll have to ask Je…the girl to keep a close on him today. I suggest Calpol after breakfast." Martin placed his two fingers against James' forehead and his frown deepened.

"Oh, no. I really hope he haven't caught a bug! Come on James, let's get something in your tummy so we can give you some medicine." She tried again to place him in his chair but he was having none of that.

"Louisa, I don't think it's a bug, as you call it. Toddlers at this stage develop the sharp, pointed teeth called Canine or Cuspids. I tried to feel if I could feel anything, but he wouldn't open his mouth. I suspect it might be hurting."

Louisa looked from Martin to James and as to acknowledge his farther suspicions, James pressed his lips together tightly.

"Ah, I'm sorry sweetheart. I hope they don't take long." She made him some baby cereal with warm milk and with a struggle managed to get him to eat a few spoons full. Then she and Martin had a tough time giving James the Calpol. He was being a stubborn little boy and no matter how they tried, he refused to open his mouth. In the end, they had to trick him into talking and when he opened his little mouth, they quickly put in the spoon. He was so surprised that he could only swallow.

When Janice arrived, Louisa informed her that James wasn't a very happy boy as he might be teething, so she made Janice promise to let her or Martin know immediately if he was feverish.

Janice took James and cuddled him and he seemed quite happy to be with her.

Louisa saw how quickly James was soothed by Janice and it made her a bit jealous. She knew she was being silly, but she actually hoped James would have been more reluctant to let go of her. She looked longingly at him and felt how her heart twitched. That Louisa, is what happens to a working mum, she said to herself. She sighed heavily and turned when there was knock on the door.

Al arrived with two young men. After the Doc called him on Sunday to ask for his help with the move, he called on Dave and Pete, two locals who was always willing as long as there's a pint or two in it! Al himself was quite desperate for some extra money as there was this very nice necklace that he wanted to buy for a beautiful receptionist for Christmas.

Louisa opened the back door and greeted them with her huge smile. She was dressed in black slacks and a jumper with comfortable sneakers. Al could not believe that this lady, he knew for most his life, were slowly approaching 40 as she looked not a day older than 29-30. Or maybe he's just bad with age-guessing. He smiled as he remembered how she used to babysit him when he was young. There was not a single person in the whole wide world that was better at reading bed time stories! Even though she herself was still in school, she was a very good reader. She made sounds and pulled faces. It always made him laugh. He was glad she and The Doc seemed to have sorted out their issues. She looked happy lately. She deserves to have someone special in her life…and the Doc sure is…special.

"Mornin' Louiser. Ready?" Al walked through the kitchen door and looked around at all the boxes standing around. Dave and Pete was not sure if they were supposed to go in or not.

"Good morning Al. Hey Dave, Pete. Come in. Thank you all so much for coming to help today. I am as ready as can be. Do you want a cuppa before we start? It's quite a chilly morning, but at least the sun is out." Louisa was busying herself and talking non-stop. Al cold see she was in a great mood, and looking as lovely as ever. Looking over at Dave and Pete, who stood like logs, he said: Uhm, I think we'd better just start." The two young lads nodded in agreement.

Louisa stopped what she was doing and looked at them, biting her lip. "Oh, yeah, Ok. That's is probably best. There are quite a lot of boxes and a couple of furniture pieces that needs to be moved to the new house. You will see on the outside of each box, I've marked in which room the boxes needs to be placed when you get to the new house. I will go with you on the first trip, so that I can open the house and show you the different rooms. I'll stay there, but you know the kitchen door here at the surgery is always open. But first, let me take you through Fern Cottage and show you what you're supposed to take on this side as we are leaving a number of things here, that won't go to the new house at all."

The four of them had a quick tour just before the first patients arrived for the day. Al assured Louisa that he was fairly sure of what was expected.

Just as Dave and Pete started carrying the first couple of boxes, Martin appeared in the Kitchen.

"Al, a word? " He turned, ducked his head from the low panels and walked to his office, with Al following short on his heels.

After Martin closed the door, he went to his desk drawer and pulled out an envelope. "I will leave this with Morwenna, so you can collect it at the end of the day when you are finished." He kept holding the envelope while looking awkwardly at Al. "Thank you…for… helping."

Al grinned and said: "My pleasure Doc. Glad I can help" he turned to walk out the office when he heard the Doc say his name. He turned around and saw that the Doc looked worried.

"Al," clearing his throat he continued, looking a bit awkward. "… please look after her today. She'll be wanting to do more than she should. Don't let her pick up anything heavy or shift anything. I…uhm….she …"

Al knew what the Doc was trying to say. Louisa could be stubborn, and like to be involved in anything she tackles. She's not a lady that can simply sit back and bark orders for anyone else to do the work. She's too used to doing it herself. He understood the Doc's fears and knew they had some grounds.

"Sure Doc, no problem. I'll keep a close eye on her. She gave us quite a scare, we won't want a repeat of that."

Martin just looked at him with big eyes. "Yes. Thank you".

Al headed to the kitchen and started helping the other two, and so the big move started.

When Martin came to the kitchen at lunch time, he noticed two things. Firstly, all of the boxes that was standing in his way for half a week, was gone. Thank God, he thought. The untidiness of it started to get on his nerves, so he was quite glad that it was no longer filling every moveable space. A couple of other furniture pieces were also missing. What's left was only what they planned to leave at the surgery.

Secondly, he noticed a very unhappy little boy. Janice was trying desperately to feed James his lunch, but James was just crying! When he saw Martin, he immediately lifted his arms and his bawling increased in intensity.

"Doc, he's been fuzzy all day. I've tried everything to calm him down, but he's been whining a lot. Cuddling helps, but only for short periods of time. I thought he'd be hungry by now, but he hasn't taken one bite. Louisa called a couple of times to check up on him, but I know she's busy so I didn't want to worry her." Janice looked defeated and miserable. James Henry is usually the cutest sweetest baby, but today was not a good day. She tried her best to try and get him in a better mood, since she knew that the Doc had patients and Louisa was busy with the move.

Martin picked James up and walked to his consulting room. He sat with James on the bed, took out his stethoscope and started examining his son. He had a higher temperature than the morning and his cheeks were red. But Martin was certain it was just teething problems. He picked up James who stopped whining for a bit and walked to the kitchen.

"I'm going over to Mrs Tishell's to see if I can get him something to sooth and numb the gums. You can take a break. Go have lunch, or take a walk." Martin could see that the young child-minder was overwhelmed by his son's behaviour. He needed to calm the both of them, so that she'll be fine for the afternoon stretch.

With a sombre "Thanks Doc" Janice grabbed her coat from the hook and left thorough the kitchen door.

Martin dressed James in his coat, and thought about taking the stroller, but decided to just hold James in his arms for the quick trip to the Chemist. James rested his head against Martin's shoulder as they walked downhill. He did not cry but Martin could see that his son was very unhappy. He felt how his own heart ached. He was a doctor, he should know how to make his son feel better. Plus, he's a farther. From what he'd gathered from others, fathers should take care of their kids, especially when their ill. He's seen many fathers walk through his consulting room door with worrying faces when they brought in an ill child. He knew the look by now. However, he has only learned it from the villagers in town. He has never seen that look on his own parents' faces, he would have remembered. The times he was ill, his nannies looked after him. When he asked where his mom was, they said she didn't want to become ill as well, so she did not come to his room, even when he called for her. The explanation for his absent father was that he was a Surgeon, and could not afford getting germs when he's supposed to operate on people. Even as a young lad, it made sense to him. However, Martin knew that there would be nothing in the world keeping him from his son when he was ill, so clearly it was just another form of neglect from his parents' side. It was also proof that he was nothing like his father, and that made him proud.

When the two Ellingham's walked through the door of the Chemist, there was no one at the counter. It was quite odd for Mrs Tishell as she never left her door unlocked if she was not present at the front.

"Hello" yelled Martin. Just then he heard something banged against the wall and … giggles?

"Mrs TISHELL!" Martin could hear mumbling and suppressed laughter and then a dishevelled looking Mrs Tishell appeared from the back.

"Dr Ellingham! How ARE you? I was just… taking stock. What can I do for you today?" She tucked at her clothes and tried to straighten her hair with her right hand, while smiling at the Doctor.

"I need some Dentinox Teething Gel and a bottle of Calpol. For my personal account please." Martin sighed as he was sure endless amounts of questions and comments were to follow from the nosy woman.

Without a word, Mrs Tishell turned and took the required items from the shelve, wrote it in the book and placed it in a paper bag.

"What is that…on your arm?" Martin could see something pink dangling from her left arm, when she selected the items. He probably would not have noticed it if she wasn't visibly trying to hide it by only using her right hand to do everything.

"Oh, uhm…it's nothing. Thank you Dr Ellingham. Have a great day" She turned around and disappeared to the back again, but not before Martin saw what the suspicious object was. It was pink fluffy handcuffs!

Martin was so surprized by the item and her weird behaviour that he did not move for a couple of seconds. It was only when James started squealing, that he was able to move.

"Completely Insane, the whole bunch of them", He mumbled as he and James left the store and walked back home.

When they arrived at home, Martin saw that James was asleep on his shoulder. He went upstairs and placed him in his cot. He then collected a cotton bud from the bathroom, placed a considerable amount of teething gel on it and gently rubbed it on James' gums. He was happy his son was asleep, as he was not sure if he would have allowed his father to go near his mouth otherwise. He could see the spots where the teeth would soon appear, were swollen and red. He hoped that the gel would ease the pain considerably. Hopefully James will also eat when he woke up, so he'll have to tell the minder to ensure she gives him one spoon of Calpol again.

As he entered the kitchen, Janice came through the back door.

"James is asleep. When he wakes up, try giving him his lunch and then a spoonful of Calpol. I rubbed some Dentinox on his swollen gums. It might help."

"Ok, Doc." Janice smiled as she did not know what else to say. It's not often that the two of them are completely alone in one room. Janice didn't like the awkwardness of being around Dr Ellingham. She often feels that he doesn't even know she exists or appreciates the fact that she does. With a wife like Louisa, she can understand why…but she's there for James. The least he could do was acknowledged her existence for James' sake.

After the Ben incident, Janice kept a close eye on both Martin and Louisa, without them realising. She wondered what the Doc's reaction was when he heard about the kiss. She was looking to see if she could see any signs of strain on their marriage. But the same night Louisa had the fall, that caused the village to find out about the baby. She wondered if the Doc only forgave Louisa because of the new baby on the way. Although Louisa said that the whole Ben debacle was an accident…and she explained it nicely, she still wondered if the Doc would believe a story like that. But they both seemed happy enough. Well, Louisa seem happy. For the moment. She is a hard woman to please. Everyone knew that the Doc worships the ground Louisa Ellingham walks on, and will do just about anything for her. Well, everyone except Louisa, it seems. The Doc looked as strict and unmoved as ever. However, they are still moving to the new house – together. So everything must be fine.

Martin saw how Janice just stared at him, as they both stood like statues in each other's presence.

"I'll go to his room and read a magazine then," said Janice as she scampered out of sight.

"If James is giving you trouble, you can bring him to me." Martin shouted towards the staircase as he turned around and searched the kitchen for something to eat before his next patient would arrive. After finding some ingredients for a healthy sandwich, he took his phone and typed a message to Louisa. It simply said: " _Lunch_?" He pressed the sent button and ate his sandwich. After a little while the tone on his phone indicated an incoming message. Louisa. " _I packed an apple, some cheese and crackers and a yoghurt, thank you Martin. Everything OK there_?"

He typed " _Fine_ ", hit sent and quickly cleaned his plate before returning to the consulting room, ready for whatever the afternoon had in store.

After the last patient for the day left, Martin quickly cleaned the consulting room and made sure everything was ready for the next day. He walked to the kitchen to see if James and Louisa was there. There was no one, however, he heard voices coming from the second floor. He climbed the steps and walked to James' room. He was very surprised to find Janice with James. They were both sitting on the floor, playing with some blocks and balls. James was "talking" and seemed in a far better mood than lunch time. When he spotted Martin, he pulled himself up with the help of Janice and toddled over to Martin, a big Louisa smile on his face. "DADDY!" When he reached Martin, he tugged at his pants and said "Daddy up." Martin picked him up, and felt his forehead with his fingers. "Hello James. I guess you're feeling better?"

Janice felt it was time to speak up. "Whatever you did during lunch, worked wonders Doc. After his nap, he was quite hungry and in-between bites, I managed to sneak in a spoon full of Medicine. He's been a little better during the afternoon, but still cries easily, which is a bit unlike him." Janice was busy picking up the toys that was scattered in the room and placing them back in the toy box, while she talked about James.

Martin watched as she cleaned the room quickly. He must admit that she was a fairly good minder. She was always on call when they needed her and James seemed happy to be around her. Of course he'd rather prefer it if Louisa would take care of their child – soon children – rather than some young girl, but he knew that was a subject to better not talk about – ever!

"I'm off then Doc." Janice walked over to James and planted a kiss on James' cheek." Bye little man! Hope you'll have a good night. See you tomorrow." She waved at him and James just grinned at her and wave back as well.

"Yes," was the only reply she got from the Doc.

Martin decided to put James in his stroller and walk to the new house. It's time for Louisa to come home and rest. He was fairly sure she'd be exhausted by now, as she worked at the new house all day.

When the two Ellingham men arrived, they found Louisa in the kitchen. She was sitting on the floor cross legged. Almost all the cupboards were filled with things they packed on Sunday. It looked really organised and tidy. Apart from the corner where Louisa dumped all the empty boxes and wrapping papers. When they saw her, it was clear that she was exhausted. She looked pale to Martin. When she saw the two of them, she tried faking a brave smile.

"Louisa! You look terrible." He walked over to her, and took her wrist in his hand, while he took her pulse. A deep frown shadowed his face.

"Well, Hello to you too…and thanks for that Martin. It's always good for a wife to hear her husband say those words. Just what I needed now." She stood up from the floor and immediately had to grab onto Martin as she felt dizzy. He wrapped his arms around her waist and helped her to sit on a chair.

"Louisa, have you eaten anything today?" He scouted the kitchen to try to find evidence of the so called apple, crackers and yoghurt.

Louisa had to shake her head to try and get over the dizziness that didn't ease up as quickly as she hoped it would. Martin took the gesture as an indication that she did not.

"Are you insane? Why would you skip lunch? You know it is vitally important that you have regular meals, with optimum nutrition, Louisa. You and the baby cannot survive on nothing!" He crunched in front of her and looked into her eyes, sighing heavily.

Suddenly Louisa felt overwhelmed by his words, but tenderness in his eyes. She recognized concern, and love. She burst into tears while she tried speaking at the same time" Martin! I… did …eat the apple…and…I had …two crackers. I…take it that…it was not enough!" Loud sobbing followed her words.

Martin was never good with tears. His anger faded instantly as he leaned in and wrapped his long arms around her shaking shoulders.

"Uhm…no need to cry." He gave her a couple of moments to let it go, before he loosened himself from her. He stood up and looked at her.

She wiped away the tears with her fingers and took a huge breath. She bit her lip when she looked up at him. "Sorry Martin."

"Hmm" was his only response while he just stared at her. Her face was now smeared with brown stripes from her tears and dirt. She never looked more beautiful!

At that moment James thought he was ignored for long enough and starting babbling.

"James! How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Louisa was sure she had control over her body again, so she got up slowly and walked to where James was still sitting in the stroller to pick him up.

Martin got her up to speed. "He wasn't feeling very well by lunchtime. Jenny said he was fuzzy all morning. I got some Dentinox. It seemed to have done the job. He was better when she left."

"Janice! But I called her and she said everything was fine!" Louisa looked at Martin with disbelieve! Why would Janice lie to her?

"She said she didn't want to worry you."

"It's my son. Of course I'd worry over him. When she said he was fine, I though the medicine from this morning must have helped a lot. I'll talk to her. She should never hide anything from me…no matter how busy I am!" Louisa cuddled James against her. She felt her heart ached as she thought of how he must have felt during the day and she wasn't even there for him!

Martin's voice interrupted her thoughts. "I haven't prepared anything for dinner yet. I think we should go home now."

"Technically speaking, we are home Martin…but you're right. I am tired and hungry. But, how about we order in tonight. That way we can both just relax tonight? I want to just sit on the couch with you. No dinner preparations or dishes. Just the three of us." Louisa walked over to James' stroller, put him in and together the three of them walked back to Fern Cottage while Marin called to place their dinner order.


	38. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Louisa was staring out the window of Ruth's car while they took the road to Truro. She wasn't particularly paying attention to the lovely Cornish landscapes that flew by, just staring into nothingness while her thoughts were running wild and free.

Ruth wasn't much of a conversationalist either. After their initial greetings at Ruth's house, they haven't spoken a word, each just busy with their own thoughts.

Louisa had a tiny little grin on her face when she thought about her morning. James was up extremely early, and for once Martin was still sleeping like a log. Well, actually it wasn't that surprising, as he was out late last night on a call. Joe Penhale called after 23:00 requesting Martin to assist as there was a motor accident about 10 miles outside Portwenn. Martin only returned home after 02:00. When she asked him sleepily if everything was ok, he just said his usual "Fine", before he got into bed and fell asleep immediately.

So Louisa had to attend to a moaning James way before the sun was up. It was far too early for getting dressed and breakfast, so she picked him up, took out a book from the shelve and tried to calm him a bit with some good reading. He settled in her lap and cuddled his little body close to hers, taking a streak of her hair and twisted it around his small fingers. When the story was finished, she softly sang him a couple of nursery rhyme songs. His eyes grew heavy and before she knew it, he nodded off again, so she placed him carefully in his cot again. Just before she left the nursery, she looked back at the room. It was really tiny and cramped, but this was James' room since he was a new born baby…apart from the times she...uh... 'took a break' from Martin.

Soon, they'll move into the new house and this would never be James' room again. Their lives would really change when they move there. No more cramped closets and tiny spaces. No more morning intruders into their personal space. They will have a house, no a Home! Finally. Louisa believed that it was a very important step towards a better future for the Ellingham's.

After leaving James' room, Louisa went downstairs and started breakfast. She thought she'd surprise Martin with some breakfast in bed. He's done it countless times for her…and she can't recall her ever doing it for him. She took him breakfast once to his office…that didn't go very well. But that was a different time in their lives.

When she entered the kitchen she switched on Martin's fancy coffee machine. She placed some eggs in the boiler and a couple of sausages in a frying pan. She toasted some bread and sliced up a tomato. When everything was done, she placed a plate and one cup of coffee onto a serving tray. She stood back to take a good look at her work. Her teeth troubled her bottom lip as she pondered. A sudden smile filled her whole face as she thought how she promised herself to be more romantic with Martin. She went to her school bag, took out a note pad and wrote a small note. She took a scissor and cut out the note in the shape of a heart! She stared at the note, and thought how silly it was! Louisa Ellingham acting like a silly teenager! But, maybe that's what the two of them needed. Some silliness!

She took the heart shaped note and placed it underneath Martin's cup of coffee so that the bottom of the cup covered the words. Then she took the tray and headed upstairs. When she entered their room, it was still 15 minutes before Martin usually got up. She walked over to his side of the bed and softly called his name. "Martin…Martin, I made you breakfast"

Martin opened his eyes and was immediately startled when he saw Louisa standing in front of his bed. He lifted his tall figure to sit up straight. "What's wrong? Is James alright?"

Louisa just smiled while she placed the breakfast tray in front of Martin. "No, everything is fine Martin, sorry if I scared you. But I brought you breakfast"

"Hmm, Why?" Martin looked with big eyes at Louisa and then at the plate in front of him, which held a much larger breakfast than he normally had. Suddenly his mind flashed back to a previous breakfast his beautiful wife once brought him. He should have handled that situation better.

Louisa scrunched her eyes and tossed her head to the side. "Because…Mar-Tin, I wanted to do something nice for you…especially since you were out till the early morning hours. But clearly you don't want it, so just give it to me, I'll take it downstairs!" Her eyes were flashing fireballs at Martin. _You failed again, Louisa_ , she thought to herself while she reached down to take the plate. _He'll never appreciate gestures like those…you should have known better, you just wasted your time_!

Martin grabbed Louisa's hands that was reaching for the tray and dragged her down next to him on the bed. "Sorry. It's just…uhm, I am not used to ... I don't think anyone's ever done it. For me. It looks…good. Thank you." Martin looked deep into Louisa's eyes. A very tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. It made Louisa soft inside. How does he do it? How does he Infuriate and melt her, all in 1 minute? She sighed heavily. Life with Martin Ellingham will never be predictable, that's for sure.

"OK, I will quickly go get my breakfast and I'll come and join you. Is that ok?" She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. He just nodded.

A couple of minutes later Louisa entered their bedroom again with her own plate on a tray. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Martin holding the "love-note" in his hands, while he had an odd look on his face.

"Martin?" She felt a little blush on her cheeks as she did not know if he'd think it was childish!

When he turned his head she saw that his eyes were red rimmed. He swallowed hard on a lump in his throat, cleared it and said "Thank you Louisa" He placed the note against his bed side lamp. When she looked at the note, she can hardly believe she wrote such a beautiful line.

" _Martin. You are my soul mate and my forever, we will always be together. Love Louisa._

She gave him one of her magical smiles and said: "Pleasure, my extraordinary man!"

"Thankfully the road was fairly uneventful." Ruth's voice broke Louisa's reminisce.

"Uhm, yes it was." Louisa looked at her watch which showed that it was 11:10. "I am sorry Ruth; I've been a terrible passenger. It's just…I am sort of nervous about today. Both appointments. You know?"

"It's understandable. Even Predictable"

Ruth stopped in the parking lot of the Truro Hospital. Luckily for Louisa, the physiatrist's office was in the same building as Dr Tailor. Just before she got out of the car, Louisa turned to Ruth and said "Thank you so much Ruth, I really appreciate you driving me today."

"My pleasure dear. Now, are you sure you'll be fine? We could meet up for lunch between your appointments if you want?"

"Oh, no, it's fine Ruth. I know you have an appointment scheduled and you also mentioned you were to visit a friend as well. I'll grab a quick bite between the two appointments. I want to go visit a nearby baby store just around the corner. I saw it last time when we left Truro. So I'm sure I'll be just fine. I'm sure I'll be done by three latest."

"Right, I'll be off then. You'll give me a ring when you're ready to go?" Ruth gave Louisa a crooked grin.

Louisa smiled and nodded. "Yes, Thanks." She climbed out of the car and Ruth took off.

Louisa stood dead still for a moment, took a big breath and said: "You can do this, Louisa!" She walked to the hospital, entered through the glass doors and looked at the information board in the reception area to try and locate Dr Coralline Jones' office. Her consulting rooms were on the second floor.

When Louisa walked through the door of the office, it was 11:20. She was greeted by the receptionist with a smile and a "Good Morning"

"Good morning, I'm Louisa Ellingham. I have an 11:30 appointment." Louisa's voice sounded odd to herself, like someone else was speaking. She felt extremely nervous about the visit.

"Ah, Mrs Ellingham. May I please ask you to complete the form attached with all your details. Once you're done, you could give it to me so that I can capture everything on or system. After that, there is a little questionnaire that Dr Coralline asks all her first time patients to complete. If there is anything unclear, feel free to ask" She handed Louisa some papers and a pen.

Louisa quickly completed the personal details form and handed it to the receptionist. Then she started the questionnaire. It was 20 questions about how you rated your current stress levels, anxiety, happiness and life. She had to think really hard on some of the questions, but was done when a door opened on the right hand side of the receptionist. A couple walked out, about mid-thirties, if Louisa had to guess, closely followed by a grey haired woman, probably reaching 50. She had striking green eyes, an open friendly face and wasn't especially slender in build. She was wearing black pants and a light pink button through shirt with a decorative scarf and flat comfortable pumps.

"Mrs Jordan, could you please schedule an appointment for the Andersons here for next week?" She turned to them and gave them a big smile that revealed sparkling white teeth and warmth. "I'll see you real soon, alright. Drive safely."

The couple greeted the psychiatrist and were in discussion with the receptionist when Dr Coralline Jones turned towards Louisa.

"Good morning! I assume you're my 11:30." She reached out a hand and gave Louisa a warm welcoming smile, which did wonders for Louisa's anxiety about the appointment. She was surprised as this lady wasn't what she expected. In the back of her mind, she pictured a stiff uptight professional woman dressed in a tailored suit and glasses. Instead, she was greeted by someone who looked like your mom. She exuberated warmth and care.

Louisa took the Doctors hand and lightly shook it. It was warm and soft and Louisa thought of how much this lady reminded her of someone, she just wasn't sure who. "Yes, I'm Louisa…Ellingham."

"Well, let's go to my office and get to know each other." She gestured for Louisa to follow her.

When they walked through the office doors, Louisa was surprised for the second time in a very short period. The office looked very cosy. Like it was someone's living room. There were two very comfy couches with lots of cushions in different colours to the one side of the room. Above the one couch, which was positioned against the wall, was an enormous painting of a staircase that went up into some soft fluffy white clouds until it simply disappeared? The painting was so good that it looked like you could climb those stairs right there and then. On the other side of the room was a desk and chair, while the middle was filled with a bookcase stacked with books of all sorts. Against the wall above the desk, were a couple of framed certificates listing Dr Jones' qualifications. It wasn't a very big room.

"Louisa, is it ok if I call you that?" Louisa gave Dr Jones a nervous smile while she nodded. "Good, I prefer to be called Dr Coralline rather than Dr Jones. Dr Jones reminds me too much of that song by that pop group called Aqua. Many years ago my daughter loved their music. She played it over and over along with that silly Barbie girl song! Do you know the song?" Louisa shook her head. "Come and make yourself comfortable while I quickly read through your answers on my sheet, will that be ok?"

Louisa once again only nodded while she walked over to the couch against the wall. She sat on the tip on the couch, placing her handbag right next to her feet and folded her hands on her lap while biting her bottom lip. After about 30 seconds she found a little hem on one of the seams of her dress and started tucking and twisting it.

Dr Jones walked over and settled on the couch opposite Louisa. She had a big note book and pen in her hand.

"Right Louisa, as you can see over there, above my desk, I am a qualified physiatrist. I've been practicing for 26 years and have seen a lot of patients and as far as I know, I've helped almost all of them, with the exception of a few special cases. I know what I'm doing and I believe in what I'm doing. Yes, I am married and I have 2 children, all grown up unfortunately." She paused for a moment and smiled. "I prefer to get all the questions you might have for me, out in the open before we start working on you. Now, tell me who is Louisa Ellingham."

Louisa shifted a bit in her chair, straightened her skirt, and looked up at Dr Coralline.

"Ok, well…I am married. I have a one-and-a-half-year-old boy and I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with my second baby. Oh, and I am almost 39. I am the head teacher of our Local school down in the small village of Portwenn. My husband is the village GP." Louisa thought that was quite enough details about her.

"The doctor and head teacher, quite the power couple of a small village, I presume. I've been to Portwenn a couple of years ago. Very enchanting little place. Beautiful views. You are truly privileged to be calling that place your home."

Louisa's face lit up and when she spoke, it was a far more relaxed tone. "Oh, I simply love the village and all of its people. We are like one big family. Although it can be tough to maintain a private life. Which is often the object of discussion between me and my husband. See, he came from London, so he seldom understand the ways of a small fishing village."

"Oh, I would think it must be difficult to adjust from a big city like London to such a small place. And vice versa. You've ever been to London?"

Louisa nodded. "I studied there after school. I enjoyed it, but after my studies was complete, I desperately wanted to return to my home town." She wondered if she should mention her second trip to London. She decided it's best to just get it all out. "Roughly 2 years ago, I went up to London again, you know, give it another shot, but…" she stopped and bit her bottom lip and the thought of London and all its complications and discoveries, flushed her brain.

Dr Coralline wasn't born yesterday…she knew they've hit a little sensitive issue, it was clear by Louisa's face – who housed a huge frown - and body language as she stiffened a bit.

"London wasn't good the second time around? What happened?" She probed.

Louisa shook her head.

"Love interest, or family?" Dr Coralline tried to ensure that the conversation kept moving forward.

"Well, it's sort of a long story... Louisa wasn't sure if she should tell what happened in London.

"Well this room happens to love wrong stories! She gave Louisa a reassuring smile while waving her arms around in a circle.

Louisa grinned at the truth of the statement. "Right. You see. Me and Martin – that's my husband – were having an on and off sort of relationship. It seemed like the universe tried with all its might the keep us from getting together as there were always interruptions and medical situations. But in the end, after an unfortunate accident with a friend of mine, I realized what an extraordinary man Martin was. I told him that much, and he proposed to me. We ended up…hhmmm…commemorating our love for each other that night. We then planned our wedding in 3 weeks, but on the day of the wedding we both realized it wasn't the right thing to do. After another week in the village, I decided to pack up and leave, for London. My friend found me a job at a posh all-girls school in the middle of London. After a couple of weeks I found out I was pregnant, with Martin's baby. I was shocked and horrified and didn't know what to do…all I knew was that I really wanted the baby, no matter what the situation with its father was. I did not inform Martin of the baby, as he is a very…difficult person. I was sure he'd want nothing to do with me or the baby. I planned to have the baby, stay in London and raise it on my own. But the school didn't appreciate having a single pregnant staff member, and I was asked to resign. So I had no choice but to return to my familiar and safe village, where I knew I could count on everyone's support."

Dr Coralline saw how emotion after emotion crossed Louisa's face. She was writing endlessly in her note book. "Are your parents still alive? Do they stay in the village?"

Louisa thought that Dr Coralline would have many questions about what she just told her…instead, she was bowled over with a question about her parents?

"No, they don't. My Mum…"she swallowed hard before she continued. "My mom left when I was 11, she went to Spain with Xavier. Left me and my dad. My dad was never …fond of keeping a job. He also liked gambling. He had a run in with the law and are currently in prison." Louisa played with the seam of her skirt.

After a little while, Dr Coralline spoke softly. "Louisa, what do you want or expect from our sessions?" She looked Louisa straight in the eyes, kept it captured.

"I …I actually don't know. Maybe to find answers as to why me and Martin are having difficulty to make our marriage work, although it's been going a lot better these days. You see, he started therapy a couple of weeks ago, and I promised to do the same. I know that I am part of the problems we encountered…I can be difficult to live with and I expect him to know things and do things without clearly communicating with him. If you knew Martin, you'd know how difficult and clueless he can be. I only recently heard his full life story, which made me realize why he is the way he is. I need to work on understanding him better and work on understanding myself. I need to be a better wife.

"Well, I'm glad. It seems you have clear views and goals and that it important in achieving results with therapy. In the end, it's all up to you though. I'm trained in ways to help you discover yourself and where your strength and weaknesses lie. I can help you unlock them. What you do after we've done that, is the most difficult part of it all. Some people learn, accept and embrace, others deny and refuse the help I offer. It will be up to you."

Louisa nodded in agreement.

"Ok, so let's go back…tell me how you and Martin met…and got to where you are today…as I assume there is a lot to be told"

So for the next 45 minutes Louisa told Dr Coralline all about Louisa Glasson and Martin Ellingham. Dr Coralline interrupted the "story" every now and again with some well-placed questions and made notes as she saw how enthusiastically Louisa talked about Martin. It was clear that she loved him very much, although she picked up on a lot of strain and pain and miscommunication and heart ship. It's clear, life between the teacher and the doctor where filled with rocks…and sometimes boulders!

When Dr Coralline signalled Louisa that the time was up, she just reached the point where they returned from the cottage weekend break away.

"I can see that you and your husband had a difficult road so far. But it's clear that you love him deeply, and that is always the most important thing. If you decide to continue our sessions, I would like to hear the rest of the Glasson/Ellingham tale. You are both intriguing characters and I would love the opportunity to try and help you to have a better marriage and better life. But I also want to discuss your parents and childhood a bit more. So think about that…if you need to, you can even make notes of distinctive memories you have from your childhood. That would help. Sometimes we remember something only on a spur of the moment and when you try to remember it later, it's just gone. So if you remember things, quickly write them down on a note pad." Dr Coralline got up from the couch and Louisa followed her lead. "So, Louisa, can I look forward to seeing you again?"

"Yes, Dr Coralline. I must be honest. This was nothing like I expected. I enjoyed just sitting back and talk. I've never just talked to anyone about Martin and me. I feel quite comfortable with you so I'll definitely schedule another appointment. I am due for my 20 week check up again in 6 weeks. Is that ok, or did you want an earlier session?"

"I would prefer to have an earlier session. When you visit next time, we can work on a time schedule that will work better. Let me go think on it for a bit, ok? I have one bit of advice for you though. I've listened to your story about the two of you. It is clear that you and your husband love each other, and that you're both willing to work hard for it. You need to relax a bit around him. Try different ways of dealing with him when he becomes difficult, ways that are totally different from how you would have reacted in the past. I know it sounds silly, but count to 10 before you respond to things he says. Maybe ask yourself why he say the things he do. Maybe he has valid reasons. Or since he's a doctor, maybe he's looking at things from a Doctor's point of view. Maybe you could guide him and help him to think more like a husband…and you more like a wife." Dr Coralline walked to the door with Louisa in tow.

"Please check your schedule and call my secretary for an appointment?"

Louisa stretched out her hand and smiled. "I will. Thank you Doctor."

Louisa scheduled an appointment at the receptionist and left just after 12:30.

When Louisa walked through the doors of the hospital, into the fresh air and sunlight, she felt a bit lighter. The appointment was nothing liked she imagined. Dr Coralline was easy to talk to, and made her feel very comfortable. Unlike Dr Timoney. But she's come to realize that Dr Timoney wasn't the problem then, it was her. She wasn't ready for a therapist…and she firmly believed that Martin was the one with the problems. He needed the help, not she. But she was wrong. She only fully realized it on their weekend away at the cottage. Yes, he desperately needed help, but so did she. She was still kicking against the idea until Ben came and rocked her already unsteady world. He made her see how important her husband actually was to her. And gave a clear picture of how it looked when those you love are taken from you.

She looked at her watch and realised that she had an hour and fifteen minutes before her scheduled antenatal appointment. She started a brisk walk in the direction where she saw the baby store. She thought that she would just quickly pop in at the store to check out what was available. Maybe when she and Martin return for the 20 week check, and if the gender can be determined, they can go shop for a little something together. That's something they've never done together before. She bought all of James' early baby clothes.

When she entered the baby store she felt overwhelmed. From the outside the store looked like a general small baby store, but when you enter, you are greeted with isles and isles of…well, EVERYTHING a baby could ever need. Strollers, cots, bedding, clothes, diapers, formula, toys, books. It was literally baby paradise. She started walking the isles and saw 101 things she wanted.

Louisa was never one to spend money on the spur of the moment. Years of struggling to keep head above water taught her well. She wasn't planning on buying anything from the store, she was "just looking" as she told the sales assistant who approached her. When she looked at her watch a while later it had just gone 13:30. She had only half an hour left to get herself something to eat and get back to the Hospital. Just as she left to go, her eyes caught a beautiful pure white fluffy baby suit. She reached out and touched it and it felt like cotton candy. She fell in love with it immediately. She checked the price. Ah, it was a bit pricy, but a new born baby would look super adorable in that outfit! The constant battle of when to buy or not to buy something played havoc in her head. She grabbed the item and headed for the cashier. 1 minute later she walked out of the baby store with the small parcel wrapped inside her handbag. She caressed her tummy and whispered softly to herself. "There you go baby Ellingham. At least you'd have one very pretty outfit to go home in." All of the sudden she felt very excited about the visit and walked back to the hospital very quickly. She felt that her energy levels were picking up and she felt great. She decided to grab a healthy sandwich and some juice at the hospital cafeteria as she was shaving it thin with time.

At exactly 13:58 she walked through the doors of Dr Tailor's office.

The attending nurse asked her to walk with her to a room, but handed her a cup for a urine sample first. After Louisa visited the bathroom and left the urine sample in the requested slot, she walked to the room again. The nurse told her that Dr Tailor would be with her real soon. She waited for about 5 minutes before Dr Tailor came to the room.

"Hello Louisa Ellingham!" She reached out her hand and greeted Louisa. "So how's it been going…especially after the little scare we had a while ago. I presume everything was ok as I didn't hear from you or my esteemed colleague again!" She grinned as she gestured for Louisa to go over to the bed next to the sonar machine.

"Yes, everything is fine. Martin forced me to bed rest. Taking it far too literal. So, I think everything is ok, well, I hope it is at least. There wasn't any more bleeding. Not even after…hhmmm…you know…hmmm… Martin and I…" She bit her lip and looked like a guilty teenager.

"Not even after intercourse?" asked Dr Tailor. Louisa nodded. "Well that is spectacular news. Now let's quickly check this baby out." She smeared the cold gel like substance all over Louisa's slightly bolting belly and then she took the instrument and ran it across her tummy. Louisa was anxiously looking at the monitor with big earnest eyes.

"Ah, there we go, baby Ellingham. Look, it's grown quite a bit!"

Louisa's face lit up and she smiled from ear to ear as she saw the image on the screen.

"Ok, so let's measure everything." She pushed buttons here and there and after a little while a printer printed some pictures. She looked at them carefully and added it to Louisa's file. Then she printed two more pictures. "These are yours to keep. One for you, mommy and one for Dr Ellingham, whom I assume will dissect every inch of it! Ok, so let me talk you through it. You baby is currently 4 inches! Or the size of your closed fist. Head size is perfect; organs seems functioning well. The baby is moving all the time, which is a good sign. I cannot trace any sign of distress. And something good to know at this stage is that your baby can now hear your voice and feel your mood…so talk to it often as you can! Let's quickly listen to the heart rate." She pressed another button on the machine and soon a fast dub-dub could be heard. It brought tears to Louisa's eyes. It's always so special to hear that sound!

"Heart rate is quite normal. Overall. I'm happy. It doesn't seem like the baby were affected at all by the fall. Off course we'll always be on the lookout for anything unusual with any future visits since we knew what happened, but I am not worried so far. Estimated date of birth is around 10-12 June. All looks good. Now, how about you?"

Louisa visibly relaxed. She didn't want to admit it, but she was worried about the visit.

"I'm so happy! I was really worried. And I am fine. My ankle healed up quickly, I got lots of bed rest and the schools are currently closed so I feel quite relaxed and energized. We are moving house, so there is quite a lot to do at home now. Plus, my one-and-a-half-year-old is keeping me and his daddy on our toes."

"Well the second trimester arrives with energy in abundance! Use it well" Said Dr Tailor laughingly. "But be really careful, ok. No heavy lifting and moving things, let someone help you. I don't want to hammer on it, but you are geriatric, therefore we can't be too careful, right? Use the opportunity to boss around Dr Ellingham for once. You might not get the chance again! But the second trimester is also the beautiful trimester, as a woman becomes more radiant every day!" Dr Tailor winked at Louisa as she used a tissue to wipe off the gel from her tummy.

"As you know, our next appointment is the big one at 20 weeks! So until then, just keep healthy and active!"

Dr Tailor and Louisa smiled at each other while Louisa stood up and corrected her clothes. With greetings from both parties, Louisa left the room. She stopped at the reception to make an appointment. Once outside she pulled out the pictures she received! She was completely amazed that at 14 weeks a clear little tiny baby can be seen of the photo! Complete with head, body, hands, feet, toes! The wonders of life!

She took a deep breath and tucked away the photos. When she checked her watch, it showed 14:36. She took out her phone and texted Ruth that she was done. After a very short time Ruth send a reply: _Please give me 10 minutes, I'll be there shortly_ ". Louisa found a bench under a tree where she was able to see when Ruth arrived and simply just sat! She felt like breathing for the first time! She worked herself up so much for this day…and now both appointments were over and both went fairly well, she thought!

It's a week before Christmas…maybe this one will be a good one.

 _A/N: I apologize for the Long delays between chapters these days...THANK You to everyone who still read my long awaited chapters! And thanks for ALL the reviews...you are TRULY kind!_


	39. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Martin was lying awake in bed. It was still dark outside but only because it's winter now and the sun's up later. According to the little soft snores coming from Louisa and the absolute silence from the nursery, his family was still asleep.

HIS Family…it's almost unimaginable to say. Even after being married for just over of a year and even after being a father for a year and a half, he could still not believe how his life changed. And it was perpetual. They'll finally officially move into the new house. In 26 weeks they could expect a new baby. How did it all happen? We'll, he knew how it happened…

He turned his head slowly to look at the extreme beauty lying next to him. She was lying on her back, butt naked, as they would say. He softly, almost just barely, touched her hair and ran his fingers down her jaw and stopped just above her chest, as she started to stir a little, but did not wake. He sighed deeply.

Louisa was very excited when she arrived back from her appointments the previous day. She stormed into his office, like a whirlwind. She said she confirmed with Morwenna that he had no patients inside when he started to protest and eagerly gave him the scan print out.

"Look," she said with excitement boiling over. "It's our 14-week old Baby, Martin. I thought…you'd like to see it…this time." She smiled from ear to ear.

Martin took the photo and held it up to see better. He checked every single line and by the time he was done, Louisa's smile was gone.

"Whot's wrong?" She bit her lip and looked worried. He realized he didn't say anything since she handed him the picture and she might think that he was not happy with what he saw. He must learn to show more emotion, in moments like those!

He walked over and stood directly in front of her, giving her the photo back "Nothing. It's … perfect."

She visibly relaxed and smiled. Then she threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. "You can keep that one, it's yours"

He was not sure if he should respond…this was his office after all. No place for hugging. What if someone walked in? That would be inappropriate. Suddenly the tourist, Ben's, words came to him. So for a brief couple of seconds he placed his arms around her and held her just as tight.

With his mouth next to her ear he asked softly: "And…uhm…the other appointment?"

She pulled away from him a little and said. "Fine, good actually. I made another appointment in two weeks."

"Good"

"Not easy though, is it?"

"No." He shook his head and released her. With the scan photo in hand he walked around and opened the right hand drawer of his desk. He took out a book and opened it up. There between the pages, was James' scan photo which Louisa gave to Martin long ago. But what was even more surprising was the little yellow flower! The one from the concert where he thought he lost all hope of ever building a relationship with Louisa. The morning after he got dressed, he placed the small little flower in that book as a reminder of what could have been. When Louisa handed him James' photo, he placed it with the flower. It seemed as if they belonged together. He looked at the new black and white print out one last time, before he placed it with the other one in the book, then placed the book back in the drawer and closed it.

When he looked up at Louisa, she was hindering her bottom lip with her teeth. She looked …sad? Was it sadness…or longing…or what?

"I can't believe you kept it, Martin. I didn't know. I thought you…did…not…Oh, how stupid I've been!" She turned and stormed out of the room.

He knew very well what she thought…she was wrong.

He was about to follow Louisa when Morwenna informed him then that his next patient arrived.

He sighed heavily again as he turned his whole body to face her. She was still sleeping soundly. His hands were playing with a streak of her soft silky hair, while his eyes softened even more when he remembered last night. They both had a busy day. Surgery was hectic. He had more than the average amount of influenza cases, 2 acute throat infections, 1 broken arm, a twisted ankle, and a newly diagnosed diabetic and just to make it all worthwhile he was able to diagnose a very rare disease, called Fabry Disease. It had numerous amounts of symptoms that can be easily missed diagnosed as something else. He was lucky that he somehow remembered about that disease, and when he quickly checked, it became clear that his female, mid thirty patient had inherited it genetically. Although he don't wish any harm on any of his patients, he liked it when odd cases like those popped up. It made life interesting. Kept him on his toes, so to say.

He was sure Louisa's day was also busy. Two appointments in one day can be hard. He knew she was worried about the 14 week check, but more so about the therapist.

He was frightened when first he had to meet up with Dr Timoney…and then later Dr Alan. It's not the best feeling in the world to go and talk to a complete stranger about your messed up life.

But she was in a good mood when she arrived from Truro. He had to admit he wasn't sure if she'd be. He prepared himself that she might feel angry, or sad, very emotional, but she seemed fine, even after the little emotional display in his office. But, it's always been hard for him to predict and read her mood or emotional state, he often did not get it right.

After their nightly routines, they both settled in bed. She was reading some nonsense love story, which he thought was such useless literature. When he reached over for his BMJ, he saw the note from the morning. He picked it up and read it again. He never received love notes…ever. He wrote poetry when he was involved with Edith. She never wrote him a letter…or anything back.

"Do you mean it?" His voice broke the silence as he looked at her. Louisa slowly moved her eyes from the book.

She shook her head a little and a piece of hair felt in front of her one eye. She moved it with the back of her hand, however, it did not really take care of the problem. She looked puzzled and said: "What?"

"You're…this note. Did you mean …what you wrote?" He diverted his eyes from her and looked at the note in his hands again. He would recognize that handwriting in between a thousand others. Those big round letters which was distinctively hers. He memorised the only other written letter he ever received from her, the most painful letter in his whole life. But this one didn't hurt. Nothing could ever hurt like that one. But…it's in the past. Like many other hurtful things. And this one had a promise.

Louisa smiled at him, while she placed a bookmark in her book and closed it. Then she moved her body and straddled his torso. She placed her arms on either side of his broad shoulders and looked deeply into his eyes with her mouth very closed to his. He could smell all of her. The toothpaste, the shampoo, her hand cream and Kenzo Flower. And HER. Just her. He gulped hard and shifted a little.

Louisa moved closer and kissed him soft for a second then she said.

"I…Meant…Every…Single…Word." With every pause, she placed a sweet kiss on his lips. Heavenly.

He could only look at her with those big eyes of his. He wrecked his brain trying to find something useful to say, but all he could come up with was "Thank you".

She didn't move away, her body was pushing against his and her mouth was still very close. He saw how her eyes sparkled and a smile worked its way to her mouth.

"For the note…or the kisses?" She asked while he saw the crinkles at the corners of her eyes deepened as she moved mere millimetres from his mouth and her hips pressing down hard into his.

With another visible gulp, he managed to clear his throat and said. "The…note…uhm…both."

She moved the final 2 millimetres and this time her kiss was not soft and lingering…it was hard and passionate. When they finally broke for air, she whispered, "That was the correct answer Dr Ellingham." Her eyes were smouldering pools of liquid and he could not help himself any longer. With a swift move, he turned and placed her softly on the pillow while they worked feverishly to get rid of their clothing.

After a very passionate couple of minutes, they finally laid back, a bit breathless but happy. He was trying to catch his breath when he heard a sniff coming from Louisa…and another. Was she crying? What in God's name has he done this time?

He turned and saw how the tears ran down the side of her face. "Have I hurt you?" he took his thumb and wiped away the stream.

"No."

"Are you sad? Is…it…me?"

"It's happy and sad tears, Martin."

"I don't understand" This made no sense to him. How can you cry about being happy and sad…at the same time? Why is she difficult to understand?

"I am so happy to be here with you, in this moment in time…to share …what we've just shared. It was wonderful. But I am sad…as this is our last night in this room. We're moving tomorrow…and although this house held many frustrations, it also held many happy moments. I'll miss this little nest of ours."

Martin, not being the sentimental nostalgic type, didn't have anything to say. So he just turned and wrapped his long arms around her, pulling her naked body close to his. And that was how they fell asleep. That's why he now had the privilege of seeing parts of her nakedness as she laid next to him. He'll never tire of it…ever.

He ran his fingers through her hair once more…then softly, ever so softly graced her cheek, then her neck until he reached her breasts. He moved his finger down her ribcage and down to her belly, his eyes following his finger all the way. Soon there will be a very distinctive bulge there. He stopped and frowned when he realized that her steady little snores faded…instead, she was breathing a little heavy. When his eyes met hers, she smiled.

"Good morning, husband." She grinned.

"Morning." He surprised her with a tiny smile tucking at the corners of his mouth.

She reached over and touched his hair. "Ready for today?

"Yes. You?"

"Yeah, very excited. Well, luckily it's just about our clothes, James's toys and cot and a couple of odds that still needs to be moved to the house. On that side however…there is quite a lot of work. I did manage to pack the kitchen cupboards and Al and the boys arranged the furniture in most of the rooms as per my instructions, but there is still a lot to be done."

"Hmm". Was the only answer she received.

"I asked Janice to come in today, but we'll go to the new house after I packed our clothes and bedding. She can help James get used to the new house. They can pack his toys in his room and play there for a bit, and she can also take him outside, to the backyard. By what time will you be finished with surgery?"

"I asked Morwenna to only schedule extremely urgent cases. We'll start earlier as well. As at end of day yesterday, I was only scheduled till 11:00. I'm sure there might be one or two additional ones. I plan to be finished by 12:00."

"Great. So you'll come over to the house once you're done?"

"Yes." He turned around, got up and walked to the bathroom. She heard the shower turn on, and all the noises that came with it. The cold water tap in the shower made a horrible noise when you turned it on first thing in the morning. It stuttered and gurgled and sounded as if it was to explode at any minute. She laughed. Although she always hated it and always wished they repaired it, it was somewhat soothing to hear today.

She stretched her arms and legs and laid like that for a couple of seconds. She sighed and got up. She went downstairs and started the coffee maker and placed eggs in a pot to boil. Eggs and soldiers it will be, she thought.

Just as she was finished and the table was set, she heard Martin coming down the stairs.

"James is still sleeping."

"Yeah, we got up a bit earlier than usual today. Well, breakfast is ready. Let's eat, so I can take a shower as well before he wakes up. Today will be a very exciting day for him as well."

When Janice arrived at Fern Cottage, Louisa already filled up some crates and boxes with clothes and bedding and odds. James was toddling around helping him mum who simply laughed at his cuteness when he placed some of his toys in a crate only to take it out again after a couple of seconds and place it somewhere else.

With Janice's help, they carried the not so heavy boxes to the car until it was stacked. So they left for the new house. When they arrived, they only unloaded the boxes and drove to the cottage again to get some more. there were only 4 very heavy boxes left. Louisa told Janice that she'd ask Martin to bring those when he came. She walked through every little room to make sure that they remembered everything. When she came down and stood in the living room she thought how utterly empty, and lonely it looked. No photos or paintings against the walls, or ornaments standing around. Barely any furniture.

"Bye Fern Cottage." She said with sadness in her voice before she turned and left through the kitchen.

When Martin arrived at the house at 12:15, he found James and Janice in the backyard, playing with a ball, so he went to search for Louisa. The furniture in the living room and dining room were neatly arranged, however, it was not how he imagined it as it did not look very logical. He'd have to change it.

As he walked past James' room, he saw that the room was close to perfect. The twin beds with the new bedding of cars – apparently it was some sort of an animation movie - were already made up, but James' cot was placed – in pieces – next to the wall. In the corner of the room, stood a big crate with all of James' toys neatly packed in. There was also the bookshelf with all his books placed in a corner. Next to the bookcase, in front of the window was the rocking chair. He walked to the build in closet and when he opened the door, he saw that all James' tiny clothes were neatly packed. The curtains was open and sunlight poured into the room, making it seem warm and cosy. He was sure James would love his room. It was very unlike his own room, he remembered. His room had no colour or warmth. He shrugged to shake off the bad memories and carried on his search for Louisa. He passed the nursery as well, who had nothing in it yet. They'll have to start buying things real soon.

When he finally walked into the master bedroom, it looked like a tornado hit the room. He grunted as he saw how unorderly his suits were placed into one of the closets, he presumed was his from now on, not to mention his shoes!

"Oh, Hi, Martin," said Louisa as she tried to tuck away a loose strand of hair that came loose. She was standing in front of one of the closets with her hands on her hips.

"Problem? He asked as she let out a huge sigh.

"Just a bit …unsure. So much room."

"Ah. I see James's room is done?" he tried to change the subject before he might say something about the state of his closet.

"Yeah, me and Janice and James tackled that room first. It's just his cot that's left. I am not sure he's ready yet to sleep in his bed yet. I also made sure the kitchen is done. So now it's this room." She gave Martin a sceptical smile and he saw that she looked a bit tired.

"I'll help. But I suggest we first eat lunch. I presume you haven't had any yet?" He looked at her with raised eyebrows and big eyes.

"Gosh, no, I didn't even think about it yet. We'll also need to go grocery shopping as our cupboards and fridge are still empty."

"There were a couple of ingredients in the fridge at home…uhm… at the surgery, so I made sandwiches. And I made James something as well. There's also some tea in a flask. We can go to the market later."

"Ah, thank you so much Martin. That was very thoughtful of you. Let's get Janice and James, although I'm not sure if we'll get James in the house. He loves it outside."

They walked downstairs and called in Janice and James. Janice scooped up James and ran towards the house as James laughed loudly. It was clear to both parents that their little boy was very happy.

After lunch, Janice said she'd take James for a walk in his stroller as it was nearly time for his nap.

"That will give us some time for our room. I need your help."

And so operation Master Bedroom started. Martin took over his own closet, arranging everything the way he wanted and needed it to be, especially his suits, ties and shirts. Then he refolded all his t-shirts and vest and undergarments and placed them neatly. Louisa was able to quickly sort her own as well.

Just then, Janice came in with a sleeping James. "Uhm, where should I put James? His cot is not sorted yet?"

Louisa bit her bottom lip and said. "If you'd stay with him the whole time, Janice, you can place him on the bottom bed in his room. But you must stay there. I don't want him to roll over. You'll do that?"

Janice nodded with big eyes. "Sure thing. I'll sit there and read my magazine while he sleeps. It'll give me time to catch my breath. It's been quite a morning!"

After James was settled, they sorted their bed with the new bedding they bought as well. Martin then shifted the bed and headset to how he thought it would look best. Louisa decided not to say anything as the way Martin moved it, made a little more sense. It was placed so that they both were able to look out the window when the curtains were drawn open. Louisa then placed their new bed lamps on each side and placed a family photo on her side of the bed.

They stood back and looked at their room. It was so big and spacious, that it felt really odd. In the cottage they could barely move around the bed…but here there was so much space! With the build in closets there was no need for extra cupboard or chest drawers. Everything seemed very open and neat.

"It looks good, dontcha' think?" Louisa smiled up at Martin.

"Yes." he simply nodded.

"Could you please help me arrange the closet with the towels and bedding, then we're done upstairs?"

They were finished, just as they heard James wake up. Janice and James came out of his room and James squirmed so Janice put him down, where he toddled over to his parents. However, he passed the stairs and something drew his attention so he turned and started walking towards the stairs! Both Martin and Louisa realized that James was heading for the stairs at the same time, almost reacting too late as everything seemed to be happening in slow motion – for them…not for James, he moved quite quickly. Just as James reached the top and was about to most certainly fall down the stairs, Janice scooped him up before either Martin or Louisa were able to get to him.

"Gosh, that was close! Thank you Janice!" Louisa walked over to Janice and took James from her arms! She cuddled him close while she turned towards Martin.

"How did we forget to buy stair barriers?" Louisa looked at Martin who was still standing in the same spot. She saw how he gulped and when he reached for James, his hands were shaking and he lost colour.

"I'm …sorry. That was very negligent of me. I'll go to Truro tomorrow and buy two sets"

"It's ok, Martin. Luckily Janice was quick enough. And it's not just your fault. I also didn't remember. We can all drive to Truro tomorrow and also do a bit of grocery shopping. No harm done." She reached over and touched his cheek. That seemed to move him out of his shocked state.

Martin flinched a bit and then looked at Janice. "Thank you."

"No problem Doc. Happy I was so quick. I thought me and James could go to the play park a bit, give you two some room to do some more unpacking. Roger told me this morning that he'll take his twins out to the play park this afternoon, and invited James to join them, so James will have some play mates. He really like them although they are older than him. That alright?" She looked from Martin to Louisa and smiled.

"Yes, that would be nice, don't you think, Martin?"

"Fine, just make sure you pack some disinfectant wipes and make sure the …uh…equipment is clean and safe."

"Sure Doc." She walked over to Louisa and took James from his mommy! "Let's go play with the Fenn's, little man!"

James laughed and said "PAY" as they walked down the stairs. He turned his head towards his parents and waved with his little hand while saying "Ba-Bye"!

Louisa and Martin worked down stairs for the rest of the afternoon while Janice and James were away. Martin rearranged the whole living room and dining room area.

"Why'd you move those chairs Martin?" Louisa thought the way she instructed Al to move the chairs and sofa, looked quite nice.

"It wasn't correct. It made no sense."

"Does everything always have to make sense? Plus it made sense to me. That was the way I wanted it." Louisa stood in the doorway of the living room with her hands on her hips, shaking her head.

"The sofa …where we would probably sit most evenings, was placed at an incorrect angle. Where it is now, the light falls precisely right, which would make reading easier. It is also in the direct pathway of a breeze, which might be good in the summer time. It's also placed at the right length from the fire place which would be good in winter months…like now." He looked at her with those big grey blue eyes of his.

"You really are a perfectionist, aren't you? Everything has to be just perfect for you."

"Uhm, being a surgeon required perfection. My father also accepted nothing less." He ducked his head as he said the last part, and walked over to the fire place.

Louisa could kick herself. She didn't mean to criticize or bring up bad memories for Martin. She walked over to him and placed her hands around his waist.

"I'm sorry Martin." She hugged him for a second or two. "He was a horrible parent. I am sorry for the way he treated you. I know I'm being horrible, but I'm glad James will never know him."

Martin turned around quickly and said with an earnest voice. "I would never have allowed him near James…or you, EVER!" There was an urgency in his voice and eyes, and Louisa knew it was true.

"How did you become such an amazing father?" Louisa smiled at her husband, and that made him relax a bit.

She really thought he was a great father?

"A beautiful woman…uhm, mother, once told me that I could learn. So I try…to learn, that is"

"James is lucky to have you as a father Martin."

"And you as his mother."

They stood there gazing at each other for a couple of moments before Louisa moved and said. "We should really try to finish as much as we can, before Janice and James comes back."

"Right".

Later that evening, much later than Martin's normal dinner time, the trio sat down for their first meal in their new house. Everything still felt a bit foreign and it was hard to prepare dinner remembering where everything was placed in the new kitchen. They realised that there were still a lot of things they needed for the new house, but they'll fill it up in good time. The guest room were still empty. As well as the nursery.

Martin went to the store late to pick up something for dinner. As a result, they were having chicken, instead of fish as the fish were sold out by the time he got to them. Louisa was quite happy, as she wasn't in the mood to start of dinner in their house with fish. Time for new things, she thought.

After dinner, they both cleaned the kitchen while James were scouting around. They kept an eye on him so that he didn't wonder off to far, the near accident still fresh in their minds.

Then they took James upstairs for his bath. It felt really weird in the new bigger bathroom with its much bigger bathtub and space. James loved the new bathtub and played for quite a while, splashing and swimming, until Louisa and Martin were both just as wet as he was.

"Come here you little dolphin," said Louisa as she took a big towel and wrapped him in it. She handed him over to Martin and said: "Here daddy, you go get him dressed while I clean up this mess."

After cleaning the bathroom, Louisa walked to James' room where she heard Martin and James.

She stood at the door watching her two men.

James was fully dressed in his pyjamas and walked around his room, exploring. Martin sat on the bottom bed, just watching his son. When he saw her, he stood up.

"I need to quickly assemble his cot. He can't sleep on his bed yet."

"Oh, yeah right. I'll take him downstairs and read him a story. Call if you need any help?" She picked up James and walked over to the bookcase. "Which one do you want to read tonight James?"

The boy reached out and took his favourite book from the shelve. It was a story about a grumpy dragon who lived in a cave! Louisa smiled as she always felt like that story reminded her so much of Martin. Just like the dragon in the story, Martin has come a long way!

When Martin came down after a while, cot fully assembled and ready for James to sleep in, he found his wife and son on the sofa, fast asleep! James was cuddled up on Louisa's lap, his one tiny arm circling her waist. She held him close with both arms as her head rested against the back. The book was lying on the floor. It clearly slipped from Louisa's hands as she drifted off. He stood and watched them for a little while. Then he walked over, and softly released her arms from the tiny body and picked up their son. Louisa did not even move as he took the small body from her. It reminded him of the time, when James was a new born, and she was so tired that she fell asleep on the chair. She found him and their son later at the surgery…after that new doctor was taken away in the ambulance.

He placed James softly and carefully in his cot. He didn't even move as Martin tucked in the blankets around him. He placed a kiss on the little head before he turned and walked out of the room, switching off the light.

When he came downstairs again, Louisa was still lying exactly as he left her. She did a lot today, he thought. Moving house is never easy. Although, she should be used to it, he thought. She moved in and out so many times.

But that was different…and it was just clothes every time. Not a whole house! He hoped that this would be her final move. He hoped that she would be very happy in this house, with him…and their children. He hoped that she never ever felt the need to pack up and leave again. He'll do anything to make her happy … and stay!

He decided to lock all the doors and double checked the windows. They'll have an early night then. He walked to the sofa and softly shook her shoulder and she woke up.

'Sorry Martin…I guess me and James were both equally tired. Did he go down ok?"

Martin reached for her hand and pulled her up. "Yes". He did not let go of her hand and together they walked up the stairs to their bedroom.

When they reached their room, Martin switched off the light and walked over to the window, still holding Louisa's hand. The curtains were pulled open and all of Portwenn was in clear view. They stood in front of the window, while Louisa cuddled up to Martin, placing her right hand around his waist. He rested his left arm on her shoulder.

The village looked at peace. It's a week before Christmas and flickering lights from Christmas trees could be seen all over the houses visible from their bedroom window. The sound of waves hitting the rocks were soothing.

"Not a stormy night, or a warm summers evening, but still very much perfect, isn't it?" Louisa looked up at Martin.

He took a while to answer as he recalled their conversation when they first decided on the house.

He turned towards her and said: "This is far better than anything I could have imagined. You are here…with me…in our new home. Perfect doesn't describe it." He bent down and kissed her, first tenderly, but it soon became more urgent. She responded eagerly and that's when she felt him wrap her up in his arms and carried her to their brand new bed.


	40. Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

As the first subtle gold of the sun licked over the lands it created spectacular colours that flooded the corn fields, lake and garden. The farm came alive. In the Big oak tree next to his window floating melodies of twittering birds serenaded the glowing horizon, they were ecstatic that the dark night was over. The rooster that croaked in a screechy voice had better days. The poor thing was so old but it simply refused to kick the bucket too aware of its morning job. The sheep were being chased out of the kraal to the fields by Jonas the farm worker and Hitler the sheep dog. Where Ben sat in front of his bedroom window at his parents' farm house, he saw his father walked with long strides towards the tractor. He was clearly on his way to the corn fields. Always busy, always up extremely early.

He realized just how much he missed a South African sunrise. There's nothing like it in this entire world! He enjoyed travelling to the UK a lot, and the places he visited were really gorgeous, especially Portwenn, but he missed home, missed the calming effect of a farm sunrise at the southern tip of Africa!

He truly thought if he left, he would forget quicker, heal faster. He should have stayed right there on the farm. It would have been easier. But, on the other side, what happened made him come to terms with...a lot.

Meeting Louisa was a shock! The pain he felt was immense. The picture of her and the young one playing and laughing in the shallow waters at the beach caused a lot of misery to his extremely fragile soul! For a moment he though his family was back.

He smiled as he watched Jonas and Hitler running around the fields after a stray sheep. Jonas worked for his father since forever and they got Hitler when was in high school. They were both equally loyal.

Upon his return he stayed at the farm for a whole week after landing at OR Tambo international, just enjoying the feeling of being home. But early the next day he'll be off to his own house. He had to go sort out a couple of things. His mom didn't want to hear about it. "It's the week before Christmas," she said, "why not just rest here for another week or so, and then you can go back."

But he needed to go immediately. He had to go face the empty house sooner rather than later. He knew it's the only way to start the coming New Year. He needed to go bury the old, although he'll never forget. He must find a way to move forward.

He suddenly reached for his phone. He typed in the name and looked at the saved e-mail address. He wondered if she would mind if he'd send her a message. Maybe just a quick hallo. Or should he close that chapter forever. He opened the link on his smart phone and typed a message. He scrolled through some photo's he took two days ago when he got up early and walked the farm. He picked a couple and attached it to his message. It took him a while before he was able to hit the send button.

He looked out the window again. It looked like it would be another brilliant sunny mid December day!

He sighed heavily and got up to take a shower and pack his suitcase for the 3-hour drive to his desolate house.

X XX

On Sunday morning, The Ellingham's woke up to miserable weather. It was raining and extremely cold. Howling winds could be heard around the corners of the house! It wasn't the easiest of nights for them. James was up twice during the night, which was unusual for him as lately he was quite a good little sleeper.

The first time Martin attended to his bawling son, taking him out of his cot and sitting with him on the rocking chair, trying to sooth him with his presence. He knew James probably felt overwhelmed with his new surroundings. His room was big and although he still slept in his old cot, with the same blankets and soft toys, Martin knew the house had a different feel. Even he struggle a bit to fall asleep. He didn't want James to have those feelings, as he knew them all too well! He felt like that every time he had to go back to boarding school after his visits with Joan. It was horrible. So he tried his best to make his son feel assured and safe. He stayed with him for about an hour before he placed him back in his cot.

However after 2 hours, James was crying again, and this time Louisa attended to him, as Martin covered the first round. She didn't take James out of his cot, but shifted the rocking chair close to the cot and took a book from the bookshelf after hugging him a little while. She made him lie down again, while she started reading to him, placing her one hand on his chest and rubbing him lightly. After the story was done, he was still not fully a sleep yet, so she sang to him. It took nearly 4 songs before she saw that he was finally asleep. He didn't wake up till morning.

Martin woke up first, as usual. He showered and went downstairs to prepare breakfast for his family. It was a bleak looking plate as he was only able to find bits and pieces of leftovers in the surgery's fridge the previous day. He brought whatever still looked reasonably eatable and cleared out the rest in the bin. He'll have to go properly clean it out real soon. He won't like it if odd smells started to hang around the surgery due to him neglecting to clean out the fridge.

Once he was done, he went to check on his family. James was still asleep due to his escapades during the night. When he entered their very large and foreign bedroom, Louisa stirred, turned and opened her eyes.

"Good morning husband", she said in a husky sleepy voice. She stretched and sighed loudly. "Sleep well?"

"Good Morning Mrs Ellingham. Yes. You?" He walked over to the bed, sat down at her side, bended over and kissed her solidly. It was very surprising and good!

"Wow, life sure will be great if I get a greeting like this every morning!" She smiled up at him as she saw him staring down at her!

"It can be arranged."

"Promise?" It looked like Martin was in a confident, dare she say relaxed mood today. She hoped that it would stay that way throughout the day.

"Hmm. If we want to go to Truro for supplies, I suggest we leave early. The weather outside is ghastly. Breakfast is ready. James is still asleep." He rambled off.

"Ah, he had a rough first night, didn't he? I'm sure he'll get use to his surroundings quickly. Kids adjust remarkably faster than adults. I see it every day at school."

"Some children do." He stood up and walked over to the windows and opened the curtains.

Mother Nature was angry outside. She huffed and puffed and made sure she was heard and felt! It really was a truly Cornish winter's day.

Louisa saw the weather outside and wished there wasn't a need to go out today. She would have loved a day like this spend only with her family in their new house. But, there will be plenty of those to come. They have years and years ahead of them. They really needed to go to Truro to get the safety gates and food supplies. She got up and walked to the bathroom for her first shower in their new bathroom that didn't screeched when you opened the cold water tap!

X X X

Early afternoon the Lexus drove into the driveway of their home. There wasn't space for a mouse in the car. The safety gates filled half the space of the big boot and the rest of the space were occupied with bags and bags of food and cleaning materials. Even the back seat next to James' baby chair was filled with bags.

It wasn't the easiest day in the Ellingham family's life together so far. Martin wasn't a "happy shopper" and it seemed like James Henry tried to mimic his father's manners today. If Martin wasn't rude to shop attendees, James Henry showed just how difficult an eighteen month old could get. He wasn't happy being staged in a trolley and if he was put down, he ran as fast as his short legs could carry him into any direction. By the end of their shopping day, Both Martin and Louisa were exhausted and irritated. Their original plan was to go for lunch in Truro, but they both agreed in the end that all they wanted to do was to go home. They could whip up something at home and just relax. The drive home was done in complete silence. James fell asleep shortly after they left Truro and Louisa was a bit sour at Martin. She had to reprimand him a couple of times about how he spoke to some of the sales assistants and his need for the whole world to be the perfectionist he was and they nearly had a full fletched fight in the baby store about the safety gates.

She sniggered as she thought about it all. That's life with Martin Ellingham. An amazing, dedicated, extraordinary and fantastic lover, last night was proof again, but hopelessly rude in crowds or when feeling uncomfortable. She learned through time, that the good outweighed the bad...it's just wasn't always easy remembering the good during the bad times. She hoped that Dr Coralline would help her to truly find a way to deal with it all as at times it really was hard to find a good balance.

Once all the parcels were unloaded and packed away, Martin started lunch for them.

Louisa bought 6 boxes of string lights and a whole bunch of Christmas tree decorations and a big star. She planned on asking Al to help her find a tree for their house and to put up the string lights all around the deck. She wanted to show all of Portwenn just how a brightly decorated house can look. It's been a dream of hers since she could remember. Her own house, her own family and old traditions. She had to wait nearly 40 years, but nothing is going to stop her this year from doing what she dreamt about for so long.

After lunch, Louisa collected some of James' toys and placed it on the living room floor on a play mat. Martin sat on the couch with a BMJ in hand and she walked to the bedroom to go and collect her book, when she checked her phone. It showed that she had one unread e-mail. That was her personal e-mail address and she hardly ever received mails there. Only a couple of her close friends had this e-mail address. Thinking that it could only be Isobel or Holly, she sighed and opened it up. She was really exhausted from the day's outing and the last thing she really needed was a whining e-mails from either her friends. Isobel had an on/off relationship with her baby's dad and was forever complaining about what he did or didn't do. And Holly...well, was Holly. Need she explain more?

She was very surprised to see that it was from neither her friends, but an unfamiliar e-mail address.

She opened it up and read:

" _Dear Louisa._

 _I thought I'd send you a quick mail to say that I've arrived home safely. I am glad to be back. Although England is spectacular, there is no place like home for me._

 _I would also like to thank you for your friendliness during my visit to your Lovely little village._

 _But even more, I'd like to thank you for the clarity you forced to enter my thoughts. I think I'm able to tackle my life again. Start...or rather continue the life I had before. It's not going to be easy, but I feel that I can face it._

 _I'm heading to my own house today after I've spend the past week at my parents' farm house. I'm ready now. You helped me a lot. Thank you._

 _I hope that we can stay in contact._

 _Take care...of yourself and your family! Say hi to Dr Ellingham and Little James._

 _Ben_

 _PS: I've attached a couple of photo's I thought you might appreciate. It's just a couple of sunrise shots of the farm. I've missed it. It's midsummer here and sunrise is truly the best time of the day._

Louisa opened that photo's and had to admit that it was breathtaking. The first one was a photo of the sun just peeking over the corn fields, colouring them in gold. They were standing tall and it seemed like they were welcoming the sun. Then there was a shot over a lake, where the morning sun played on the water to create a kaleidoscope of colours. The next one was of a baby sheep that jumped excitingly. It was a brilliantly captured moment. Then there was a shot of a fantastic rose garden. The different coloured roses were strikingly beautiful. The final one was of an older lady and man. Both already grey, but their faces showed that they loved life and looked very friendly. The photo was clearly Ben's parents. The resemblance between Ben and the man was overwhelming, and Louisa imagined that was exactly how Ben would look when he got older. She smiled by herself as she looked out the window. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to give Ben her e-mail address, but she's glad she did. It's good to hear from him, to hear that's his soul is heading in the right direction. He's a nice guy. He deserves peace. She'll write him a message back later, when she could find the right words.

She looked over all of Portwenn. To the right were all the houses, the shops, the harbour and the school. And to the left was the most amazing view of the ocean and cliffs. She inhaled the fresh air that came through the window. The weather did not clear up at all, it was still raining outside, but the wind weren't as forceful as it was in the morning. Now, there's just a grey blanket of soft rain covering her beloved village.

She suddenly felt a presence behind her and she smelled the familiar fragrance of Martin Ellingham.

"Anything wrong?" he asked with concern clear in his voice. He knew today wasn't the greatest day for them. He hoped that Louisa wasn't too angry with him. She can be so stubborn with her demand on being nice to one and all.

She turned around, while circling his waist with her arms and laying her head on his chest. "Everything is just perfect, thank you Martin."

X X X

Ben turned his car into the driveway of his house. His heart pounded in his chest and he had to calm himself by breathing in slowly. He took his phone to call him mom who made him swore he'd do it the moment he arrived. After confirming his arrival and safe travels, he said goodbye and got out of the car to enter his extremely empty quiet house.

He assumed his mom arranged for someone to come and clean before he returned as everything was sparkling clean, yet still the same. He slowly walked through the house remembering 101 things all at once. He went to his son's bedroom where the colourful room and case filled with toys finally broke him down. He sat on the tiny bed with his hands in his hair and his big body started to shake as sobs broke the silence that filled every inch of the house. After a considerable time, he got up and looked at the toys box. It was filled with a lot of cars, building blocks, all sorts of balls and puzzles. A brand new train set was still packed away in its box. It was quite a big one, with endless amounts of tracks and the train itself would spit out smoke from the locomotive if it started running the tracks. It would have been their little project when he returned from the Rugby tour. He made a pinkie promised his son; they'd do it straight after his return. Now it was still standing at the same spot! Never to be played with. He turned around and walked to their bedroom. He barely made it to the bed as images and memories of his lovely wife overwhelmed him. He sat on the bed crying for a long time. When he finally got up and left the room, he saw that it was already getting dark. When he checked his phone, he saw that he had one unread e-mail. He quickly opened it and he saw that it was a mail from Louisa! She actually replied to his mail!

 _Hi Ben,_

 _I'm really glad that your journey home went smoothly._

 _Thank you for sharing those amazing shots of your farm. I loved every one of them._

 _Would you believe last night was our first night in the new house? Finally! James Henry was a bit out of sorts, as can be expected, but I'm sure he'll adjust quickly. He's just growing up too fast!_

 _Dr Ellingham is also doing just fine._

 _I took the liberty of also sending a photo that I took as well. It's a view over Portwenn from our bedroom window. The weather has been nasty, but it's typical to Portwenn for December. It's really odd to hear that you're having summer in December._

 _That's about all from my side._

 _Good luck for what lies ahead. You are a very strong man. I am sure you'll get through it._

 _Take care_

 _Louisa._


	41. Chapter 42

_Doc Martin and All the wonderful characters belong to Buffalo Pictures...I'm just borrowing them for a Little While..._

Chapter 42

Monday started off early for Martin. The phone at the surgery redirected all incoming calls to his mobile after hours. The entire weekend it didn't ring once, which in itself seemed like a miracle, but on Monday morning he was woken up early by it. Due to their new, very dark curtains in the room, it was hard to place time. When he looked at his phone, it showed that it was just before six.

"Ellingham", he answered with irritation. He would have rather spend another couple of minutes lying next to his wife, with his arm around her waist. He came to realize that Louisa welcomed and even expected him to hold or touch some part of her at night. Cuddle - that's what she called it. Astonishing! He never imagined lying next to a woman with his arms around her all night. The absolute soothing feeling it brought was so satisfying. At first it was quite something, the way she would shift close to him, dragging his arm across her waist. She had to do that a couple of times before he actually realised it's something she wanted on a regular basis. Now, it feels like second nature. And yes, if he must be honest, he enjoyed it too.

PC Penhale's voice came from the other side, only raising the bar on his annoyance. "Good mornin' Doc. I am terribly sorry to disturb you so early, but one of the fisherman had an accident. He's bleeding _excessively_. And his leg is at a _peculiar_ angle. We don't really want to move him, Doc. Could you come?"

Martin let out a massive sigh. Not exactly how he wanted to start his week…massive bleeding! In the past month, he treated several bleeding patients without feeling any of the old symptoms, and thought that his haemophobia was fairly under control lately, until a little boy came in with his mom the previous week. According to the child's mother, he fell and cut his hand on a sharp rock. The moment Martin looked at the tiny bloody hand, he had to grab the bin in his office.

"Where exactly is the patient?" Martin swung his legs off the bed finding his morning slippers and stood up.

"Down at the harbour, where the boats gather, Doc. I will keep things under control until you arrive. It looks like the Dynamic Duo are on call early this week, you know, keeping Port Wenn safe." Martin could hear the idiotic police officer grin.

"I'll be right there". With a sneer he ended the call without waiting for a response from the so called officer of the law. He went to the bathroom and got dressed quickly. He remembered that he needed to stop by the surgery to collect his bag, which he left at the surgery on Saturday. Which was odd behaviour from him as he never leaves without his bag. It will now take him a couple of minutes longer to reach the injured patient as he was first of all a little further from the harbour and he had to stop to collect his bag. It made him feel a little annoyed with himself.

As he folded his tie, he heard Louisa stir.

"Where are you off to so early, Martin? It's still dark!" Her voice sounded husky and Martin thought how incredibly sexy it sounded! He looked at her longingly, whishing with all his might he could forget about his duties and responsibilities for once, and just get back into bed with her.

"It's the curtains." He said, as he threw on his jacket and buttoned it.

Louisa looked at him puzzled. "Whot? What's the curtains got to do with you dressing in the middle of the night?"

"Uhm, I mean, it only looks dark, as the curtains make it seem that way. It's actually a quarter past six. And I have an emergency down at the harbour."

"Oh. Ok then. I wish you didn't have to leave bed so early." She stretched and let out a big yawn. Then she rolled over to his side of the bed and buried herself under the blankets. "I'll get up soon and get breakfast ready for when you return. I'll just shut my eyes for a little while longer."

XXXX

When Martin arrived back at the house just before 07:30, he found a still sleepy looking Louisa in her morning gown and a very happy, babbling toddler in the kitchen. It was clear she just started breakfast, while James toddled around exploring.

Louisa looked surprised when she noticed Martin appear in the kitchen. "You're back already? I just started breakfast. Sorry, I fell asleep again after you left. James woke me up 20 minutes ago! I quickly cleaned him, and we just came down!" She scattered around, touching here and there all at once.

Martin watched her for a minute or two before he decided that he should probably go take a shower.

"I'll just go for a shower while you're still busy." He turned and walked out of the kitchen. But as he passed James who tried opening one of the baby proof cupboards, he stopped, placed his finger against James' forehead, then brushed across his soft baby cheeks while he stared down at his son. James looked up at his daddy and gave him a toothy smile.

"Ok, I'll be done when you're finished. Sorry about being a bit late with breakfast." Louisa stopped for a moment just in time to see the father-son moment. She smiled while her heart jumped at the tender look in her husband's eyes and the complete admiration in her son's.

Martin saw Louisa's stare and dropped his hand. "Its fine," he said as he turned around and left.

Twenty minutes later when he came to the kitchen, everything was ready. Louisa and James were already sitting down, having breakfast.

Louisa smelled the unmistakable fragrance of her husband when he entered the kitchen. She wished she already took a shower and brushed her teeth, as she desperately wanted to hug and kiss him, but she would never dare it! He might give her another lecture on mouth hygiene. And might even throw in a full medical lecture about body odour. Plus, she need him to be in a good mood, she has an important question to ask him.

"There you go, breakfast is ready. James here couldn't wait any longer, so we started so long. Can I pour you a cup of coffee?" She stood up and didn't wait for Martin's answer. She placed the hot black coffee in front of him. She sat down and for a couple of minutes there were silence as they all ate their breakfast. James sure likes food, so even he was silenced by the contents of his plate.

When Louisa was done, she looked over at Martin and thought that now was as good as time as ever.

"Will you be going to Dr Alan again this Friday?" She wanted the question to sound matter-of-factly.

"No. He went to visit his daughter and won't return till after the New Year. We'll resume our…uhm…appointments then." He sighed deeply.

"Oh, good then. So you have no plans for this Friday?" She leaned over to James, and picked up some odd pieces of scrambled eggs that landed on the table.

"No, apart from surgery." He started to feel that Louisa was aiming for something, and wasn't sure where this conversation headed.

"You do know that it's Christmas Eve on Friday, Martin? Are you planning on closing a bit earlier?" Now she was looking straight at him, keeping his eyes hostage.

"Uhm…I…haven't thought about it actually." He stood up and placed his plate and cup in the basin. When he reached over to take her and James' plate, she took hold of his arm, keeping him from leaving the table.

"Well, most of the town will be closing earlier. And I know that Morwenna would appreciate it if you will let her go a bit earlier than usual?" She cocked her head to the side and gave him a challenging look.

"Uhm, right, I could look at my schedule…I suppose…and see how it goes. I'll tell her to schedule for half day Friday."

Louisa's face lit up and she awarded him with a bright smile. That alone was worth more than all the gold in the world.

"Ah, that's nice of you Martin. I'm sure she'll be grateful."

He did not say anything, only grunted while he turned and started to wash the dirty dishes.

Louisa stood up and walked to stand next to Martin. She took a big breath before she spoke. "Martin, I want to ask you a favour."

He looked at her and saw that she looked a bit nervous, which made him nervous.

"Yes?"

"As you know, Friday is Christmas Eve, and I've been asked by numerous of my colleagues and friends when we'll be having a housewarming. And I've been thinking…I also maybe want to start a tradition, now that we have our own house, of throwing a Christmas Eve get together for our close friends each year, starting this year. So, maybe we could do it this Friday. We'll have the housewarming and a Christmas Eve party all in one. Killing two bees with one stone."

Martin looked at her in horror. "What? WHY? It's OUR house, we've been living in it for exactly 2 nights! I DON'T want people coming here! I don't like parties. You cannot be serious Louisa!" While he was talking, he turned to face her and he raised his voice. He could not understand it all. He thought that the reason for this house was to get away from the fact that the whole village thought they could visit their house at any given time as they pleased, resulting in No privacy ever. Now that they moved away from the surgery, he expected to have less to do with the villagers, not invite them for parties. He hate parties…and the villagers just as much as they hate him. Why would Louisa want to do that to him?

"Martin! I won't spend my life living like a hermit up in this house! I am proud of our house and of my family. I want to throw a get together at least once every year to celebrate it all. I want to start a tradition, with you and James…and next year the new baby will become a part of it! It's something I wanted since I can remember. I'm not asking for a party every Friday night. It's a once off, once a year!" Louisa stood right in front of Martin, and with each sentence her voice raised a little more.

Suddenly James let out a loud "Daddyyyyy!," from where he was sitting. They both looked at him in surprise as they forgot their son was in the room while they started a screaming battle. James wasn't crying, just screaming as if he thought that it was a game, where everyone was screaming at each other.

Louisa and Martin looked at each other. Martin sighed heavily and walked over towards James and picked him up. "I apologize, James. It's not proper manners to scream at someone. I am sorry for yelling…at your mother. So, NO more yelling, alright?" He pressed the tiny body against his chest and turned to face Louisa again.

Louisa looked sadly at her son while tears started to form in her eyes. She remembered how she often had to listen to screaming contests between her parents at night. She also remember how she promised herself to never let her own children bear witness to screaming wars like that! She failed. She's a horrible mom!

She walked over to Martin and James, gave her son a kiss and then ran upstairs while tears stained her vision.

When she reached the sanctuary of the bathroom, she simply let the emotions overrun her. She sat on the edge of the bath while her shoulders shook from the sobs as she covered her face with her hands.

She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't take her hands from her face, but the sobs slowed a bit. Martin took her hands from her face and pulled her up, then he folded her in a hug, his arms circling her completely. She buried her face in his shoulders and they stood like that for a little while until she was calm again. Martin cleared his throat before he spoke. "I am sorry. I will think about the party…. I didn't realize it was that important to you"

Louisa pulled away from him just a little. She looked up at him with eyes that was red and glimmered with fresh tears.

"Thank you Martin, but it wasn't your response to my request that made me cry. Well, not entirely. I feel a bit sad about your reluctance to have people over. But… It's…" She bit her bottom lip for a second or two before she continued. "Terry and Eleanor used to have fights like those all the time when I was young. They would scream at each other for hours while I was send to my room. It was…bad. I don't want James to grow up like that."

Martin looked into her beautiful eyes and he slightly nodded his head. "Me neither. I'm sorry."

She flashed a weak smile before a serious look filled her face again. "I am sorry too. Not just for yelling. For pressuring you into doing something I knew you wouldn't like." She bit the inside of her cheek for a couple of seconds while he still held her close. "You said you'll think about it? I won't invite too many people. And we can make it an early dinner. I am just so proud of our beautiful home, and my beautiful family. I want to share my happiness with people I know."

"So, a party would make you …happy?" Martin looked deep into her eyes. Louisa's happiness was extremely important to him, he'd do just about anything to make her happy.

"I AM happy, Martin, but yes, it would make me happier! But not at the cost of your unhappiness. If it's simply too much for you, I won't demand it from you. A quiet Christmas eve, just the three of us, would also be alright…" She moved herself and placed both arms around his neck. Then she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Martin swallowed hard as they both stared at each other for which felt like eternity. He felt a yearning build up in him that he might not be able to control any longer unless he breaks their embrace. He released Louisa and stood back one step. "I need to get to the surgery." At that precise moment his phone rang, and he saw that it was the surgery's line.

"Ellingham." He barked.

"Morning Doc! You planning on seeing patients today?" Morwenna's young chirpy voice filled his ears.

"Of Course I am"

"Well, your first patient is here…and you're not! So I was just wonderin, you know!"

Martin looked at his watch and saw that it was already 08:30. "God." He said. "I'm on my way!

He looked at Louisa awkwardly and said:" I better go…patient."

"Yeah, you better go. Before patients starts knocking on our door." She smiled at his awkward demeanour. "By the way, Where is James, he's awfully quiet.

"I left him in his cot in his room." Martin turned around and left. Seconds later Louisa heard the front door open and close loudly.

Louisa walked to James's room. When she entered she was shocked at the state of her son! She quickly rushed towards her room, grabbed her phone and ran towards James'. She snapped a couple of photo's before she talked to James, while laughing at him!

"James Henry Ellingham, you little rascal, how did you manage to get out of your cot and reached the cream tub, hm?" She picked up her son, that was covered in baby cream , smeared over his face, legs, hands and especially his hair! He looked like a little cream monster which made her laugh even louder. James just looked at him mom with big eyes! His mom sure is a funny one at times.

Just as Martin sat down at his desk, ready for his first patient, his phone beeped. He quickly looked at it while his patient entered the room. At first he did not understand the picture at all, but after he read the message attached to it, and looked at the picture again he was able to understand better.

"Look daddy, I'm a Cream monster!" it said in bold letters at the bottom while James sat on the floor with his one hand still in the cream tub.

Louisa also added a text message after the picture that said: "It looks like our baby are now an expert climber…the cot couldn't contain him anymore. Maybe it's time for him to start sleeping in his big bed now? Love you. Louisa."

As his patient sat down in the chair opposite the normally stern looking doctor, he saw how the Doc's face softened and a small smile tucked at the corners of his mouth.

Now that was something you don't see every day at Portwenn Surgery!

A/N: I am really sorry for taking so long to post! Thanks for sticking with it though! I appreciate it a lot! HUGS!


	42. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Louisa called Al on Monday morning and an hour later AL, Louisa and James were on their way to the farm to go search for a Christmas tree.

When Martin walked to the house after work, James could barely hold his excitement. He ran as fast as his tiny legs could carry him towards his daddy and shouted "Tlee, tlee" the whole time. Martin grabbed his son when he was close enough and walked with long strides towards Louisa.

"Easy James. What is tlee? There is no such word in the English language" He furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to figure out what his son was saying. He's still getting used to some of James' words as he was simply not used to baby talk at all.

Martin reached Louisa and gave her a peck on the cheek. Louisa smiled at her two men and said: "We have a very excited little boy tonight, Martin. He wants to show you what we did today". She hooked her arm through his and together they walked into the house. As soon as they entered, James squirmed to be put down and then he ran towards to living room. "Daddy tlee!" His sweet little face exuberated excitement.

When Martin finally arrived in the living room, he saw a big green tree in the far corner.

"Oh, a TREE, James. Where did you find such a big one?" He picked James up again after the boy said "Daddy, Up", in order to see the tree better.

He had a big daddy, and it was nice to be so high up, admiring the tree. He looked at Louisa for assistance in answering his daddy's question. Martin also stared at her with raised eyebrows.

"Al took us to the farm and James picked out this tree. I think he enjoyed it a lot out there. He had quite a long nap after we returned as he was running through the grass, chasing birds, discovering all sorts of bugs. He was fascinated by everything he saw. He didn't want to leave. We should consider spending a weekend at the farm soon. There's almost no guest now as it's so cold and nearly Christmas." Louisa's voice trailed off. It would always be weird visiting the farm and not have Joan there. There was an emptiness that could not be filled by any other person.

Martin saw the sadness in her eyes, knowing all too well that she was thinking about Joan.

"I promised James we would decorate the tree when you get home after dinner. He's been so excited about it all day. So let's have dinner before our son explodes with anticipation!" Louisa left James and Martin in the living room as she sets of to the kitchen to collect the food and placed it on the dining room table.

After dinner and clean up, Louisa went to the pantry and collected a big box filled with new tree decorations as well as lights.

"Come on you two," she said as she walked over to the tree. James couldn't get there fast enough, but Martin dragged his feet, doing this and that, much to James and Louisa's frustration.

"Come on Martin. James waited for this all day." She gestured with her head towards the tall tree while trying with all her might to keep James at bay.

"Hm, there is an important e-mail I need to send. I'll join you later? "

Louisa raised her eyebrows and said sternly: "Now Martin." That headmistress voice of hers was used only occasionally on him. The moment called for it though.

Clearly this tree decorating wasn't open for a discussion, Marin thought, so with a sigh he went to the stupid tree.

Louisa placed a couple of red and silver balls in his hands and then she and James took the rest in the box. She showed James how to hang them on a branch. Martin paid attention as he also didn't know what to do. James and Louisa walked in circles around the tree, decorating the lower parts. Martin followed their lead and decorated the top part of the tree. Next Louisa took out some crystal ornaments.

"Ruth found these in a box in the barn when they cleared it out. I presume they were Joan's."

Martin recognised them immediately as they, along with many others were always on Joan's tree. There were just six and they placed them on the higher parts of the tree. They stood back and admired their work. Martin wondered what happened to all the other decorations Joan had.

Louisa took out 2 boxes of lights and handed it to Martin. She crunched down and talked face to face with her son. "Now it's time for the lights, James, but daddy needs to do that as it's too dangerous for small children to work with electrical things, ok? You shouldn't touch these lights at all. NO touching." James looked at his mommy with big eyes and just nodded.

Martin opened the first box and stood there indecisively. He had no idea what to do with the lights. Louisa saw his awkwardness and said: "Just follow the same principal as the balls. Start at a point and walk around the tree, draping it on the branches" She shook her head as Martin slowly and carefully placed the lights on the branches. It's clear he's never done that before! But, he did a decent job.

Louisa gave him a brilliant smile as he walked back from the tree. He felt like he conquered the world, standing a bit taller next to his family.

"Now, James, daddy just need to add the star at the top and then we can switch on the lights." She handed Martin the last item from the box and he took the golden star and placed it right at the top!

Louisa switched off the Living room lights. It wasn't completely dark as the light from the kitchen still reached the living room, but it was just the right amount of light for the tree.

Martin took James and sat on the sofa as Louisa turned on the Christmas tree lights. At first it was just on, but after a minute or so, the tiny lights started to flash randomly. Louisa went to sit with her men, no one was saying a word. James was completely mesmerized by the flashing lights. He clapped his little hands a couple of times.

Louisa reached out and took Martin's hand in hers as she rested her head against his shoulder. "Thank you Martin. It's just like I imagined it would be."

"I didn't do anything!"

"You did. You made all of this possible. This is going to be the best Christmas!" She lifted her head and looked at Martin and James simultaneously as she smiled from ear to ear.

"Pleasure." He shifted a bit awkwardly, but not too much. He didn't want James or Louisa to move. He enjoyed their presence and closeness so much. He swallowed a lump in his throat and then cleared it before he said: "Louisa…regarding the party ... thing…"

Louisa's head snapped as the smile disappeared and she released his hand as she feared for the worst. Martin saw it and it stung his heart to see how he managed to wipe away a smile from her face so easily. It filled his eyes with sadness. He sighed, which only made Louisa more nervous, as she saw the look in his eyes, and misinterpreted it completely.

She frowned for a second or two, then she plastered on a fake smile. "It's ok, Martin. I understand. I knew I asked too much. It will just be us then for Christmas Eve. It'll be fine."

Martin took a deep breath while he reached for her hand that left his a couple of seconds ago. "I actually wanted to say that it would be good…if you invited one or two…uhm… ** _friends_**."

Louisa was shell-shocked. Her mouth hung open as she struggled to find words. "Whot? Are you joking Martin?" She looked at him suspiciously.

"I never do. Joke, that it." A tiny smile tucked at the corner of his mouth. It was nice to see Louisa speechless. He often managed that with rude or inappropriate words, not with good things. He must admit, it's a far better feeling.

Suddenly her arms were around him and James and they were both quite surprised. "Thank you SO much Martin. I promise it will only be a few people. And we will eat early enough. And I'll make some healthy food just for you apart from all the traditional food for our guests." She babbled all in one breathe.

Martin decided it was time to take James for a bath so he stood up. "I'll take James up for his bath now, and settle him for the night. It looks like you have a lot of **_planning_** to do."

"Oh yeah, loads! Let me know when he's ready, I'll come read to him."

"OK."

A while later, Louisa went to read James his bedtime story, and soon afterwards he was asleep. She collected her biro and note pad, and headed for the sofa. She gathered an afghan that Ruth gave to her a short while ago. It came for Joan's farm and she feels as if it's one of her most treasured possessions. Modern day people don't knit those types of things the way the older folks used to do it. She'll take good care if it and will one day pass it on to one of her own children.

When Louisa asked Martin to join her, he declined and said he wanted to repack the book case in his study as is wasn't done in chronological order the first time. Louisa let it fly over her head as she was the one doing it the first time, but she knew Martin would redo it sooner or later. Plus, she really didn't care what he was doing at that moment, she just wanted to concentrate on Friday nights planning.

After about 2 and a half hours of planning, Louisa started yawning excessively and decided to call it a night. She went over to the study where she found Martin who looked like he just finished repacking the book shelf. In the middle of the book case was an open space. With nothing in it. It was weird, as it was very striking, seeing the empty spot. Martin however, had a satisfied look on his face.

She walked over to him and hooked her arm through his. "Ready for bed?"

"Uhm, I just need to do on more thing…then I'll lock up." Louisa placed a soft kiss on Martin's cheek and headed upstairs.

Louisa quickly looked in on James, and then went to the master bathroom. She took a shower, brushed her teeth and went to bed. Just before she switched off the light, she checked her phone and the icons showed that she had an e-mail. She wondered if she should read it now, or leave it for the morning, but her curiosity got the better of her, and she opened it. Just as she suspected, it was a message from Ben.

" _Hey You,_

 _So how's life in Portwenn?_

 _I've managed to clear out a lot of things in my house. Things that needed clearing a long time ago. I've put the house in the market._

 _I've decided to permanently resign as a teacher and take over the farm. Me and my dad had a heart to heart the day before I left, and he said he was ready to step down. I am excited about the changes and I have many ideas for the farm!_

 _I wish that one day you and your family could come visit us here in South Africa. I think you'd love it here._

 _Please send my regards to Dr Ellingham and James,_

 _Ben._

 _Ps: Be on the lookout for a parcel soon!_

It was so nice of Ben to write her a mail. She was glad that he seemed fairly at peace. She quickly typed him a message.

 _Ben,_

 _It's freezing cold, as can be expected this time of the year in Portwenn. Looks like you managed to side step Portwenn at its worst._

 _Well done on taking steps towards a positive future. From what I've seen from you, I'm sure you'll make a brilliant farmer…or anything you put your mind to._

 _Who knows what the future holds, maybe one day you'll be surprised to find an English family on your doorstep!_

 _Your friend,_

 _Louisa._

When Martin arrived in the bedroom a little later, after rearranging his desk in his office, Louisa was asleep already. She had a peaceful look on her face and he knew that for once she went to bed happy. He was dead sure he would absolutely hate the so called dinner party, but seeing Louisa's so happy about it, surely made up for it.

He could almost hear Doctor Alan say: "It's all part of the process towards a happy future." He had to admit, he really liked seeing Louisa happy. And when he's the ones causing it, it made it that much better.

X X X

The rest of the week before Christmas went by fairly smoothly in the Ellingham household. Louisa enjoyed spending time with her fast growing toddler and James enjoyed having his mommy around playing with him all through the day. Due to Louisa's constant presence and the way she knew how to teach kids while playing, he learned quite a few extra words. Louisa was so proud of her son and every night she eagerly shared all his accomplishments with Martin at the dinner table. If they were lucky, he would say a new word just to proof that his mom wasn't exaggerating which made Louisa laugh with joy! Those became Martin's most treasured memories. They soon fell into a nice easy rhythm at the new house.

It was an adjustment to lock the surgery at night and walk the short walk to the new house, but Martin didn't mind leaving his workplace behind at all. The new house was spacious, tranquil and simply wonderful. Plus, his family was there. He loved the fact that his wife and son waited for him every night on the front porch. He knew it was only temporary, as Louisa would return to work again in the new year and she often arrived home later than him during school terms, therefor he appreciated those special moments even more.

Martin wished that Louisa could see how much James needed his mom's presence. The evidence was shared with him each night at the dinner table. She didn't realise it, but his son looked happier and progressed a lot since she was home. Why couldn't she see that, Martin wondered? Maybe he could raise the subject again.

Just not now. Their world seemed at peace at the moment, he'd like to hold onto that for as long as he could.

Tuesday night after they put James to bed, Louisa informed Martin that she asked Ruth if she would mind driving her to Truro the following day. There is a bunch of things she needed for the dinner party. Plus, she'll need to go buy one or two small Christmas gifts.

"When I asked Ruth, I barely finished my question before she said yes. She looked very eager to go to Truro. I wonder if she'll be visiting the same friend she visited when I went for my scan." Louisa bit her lip and Martin knew it was a sign that she was deep in thought…or worried.

"I'm sure Ruth has lots of friends. Maybe it's an old colleague. I didn't know we're exchanging gifts? Is it compulsory?" Martin looked startled.

Louisa thought her mentioning gifts would go over Martin's head, but he caught it, much to her surprise.

"I want to buy each of our guest a very small gift, just to say thank you for attending and because it IS Christmas, after all. You know, the time when people DO exchange gifts." Louisa knew Martin was lost to most things social, but not exchanging Christmas gifts?

"Oh, yes. I just thought exchanging gifts were exclusive to … close family. Not dinner guests." He ducked his head and tried to concentrate on the journal in his hands.

"I'm not planning on buying them expensive diamond necklaces and such. For the ladies, a simple fragranced candle set and the men…well, I'm still looking for something for the men…I couldn't think of anything yet."

Martin turned and faced Louisa. "I could do that. Buy the men something…if it would help you?"

Louisa could barely utter a word. Did Martin say he would buy gifts for the men…attending the party he didn't much care for? "Are you sure? I'm sure I'll find something tomorrow. I don't want to pressure you. It's Fine Martin, this is not your problem." She didn't want to place any pressure on Martin. She was just so happy that he agreed to the dinner, that she didn't want him to be bothered by anything. She wanted to show him that it can be wonderful having friends and family for dinner. She didn't want him to stress about anything. She could pull it off. She was eager to proof that she could throw a very successful party.

"Don't Louisa. Don't say … ** _that_** … ever again. The last time you said something wasn't my problem…I...I nearly …lost the both of you. I'll find the attending gentlemen a gift, just tell me how many."

With that he stood up and walked out of the living room and Louisa heard him go to his study.

You really did it this time Louisa, she reprimanded herself. Feeling really bad about her insensitive choice of words, she followed Martin to the study. She knocked but didn't really wait for an invitation, she just went in. She knew she had to clear the air. Things have been going exceptionally good these last couple of weeks, she didn't want something stupid like a wrong choice of words to spoil that. Sometimes she could really kick herself for her the things that leave her mouth.

Martin sat at his desk, staring into nothingness, it seemed. When Louisa looked at what he was staring at, she saw a framed photo of herself and James, in the middle of his well-organised book case. It was surrounded by books of all sorts, but looked like it had a sacred spot reserved especially for that frame. It was the centre of attention, the first thing you noticed when you looked at the book case. She smiled as she remembered when the photo was taken. It was on the day of James' first birthday party. Morwenna took Louisa's phone just before they headed for the party and took the shot. They both had a big smile on their faces. It's a pity the party ended the way it did.

She went to stand in front of Martin, right between him and the photo, which forced him to look at her.

"Martin, I am so sorry for what I said. I … well, I didn't really think about the words. I'm truly sorry. Can you forgive me, please?" Her pleading voice sounded very sincere. She looked anxious while she waited for his answer.

Martin was really upset when she said those words. Too many memories flashed through his mind, and it made his chest feel tight. When he reached the study, he had to take a couple of deep breaths to steady himself. Then Louisa walked in. The way she looked at him, asking for forgiveness, was more than he expected. He stood up, walked around the desk and stood in front of her.

"Yes." He looked pained as he sounded almost pleading, his voice fading even though it looked like he wanted to say more.

Louisa felt the all familiar sting as her eyes shot up in tears. Before she could contain herself, she stepped towards him and threw her arms around his neck. "I am so sorry for hurting you, it was not my intention at all. Not now…not even then." She held him for a little while, composing herself, before releasing him. She wiped her tears and said: "What would you buy…for the male guests?"

"I saw this gift packs at one of the stores, where they had a small bottle of whiskey and glass set, wrapped in a wooden case. It looks like a collector's item, not necessarily for consumption. It seems like something men would like. I often received gifts like that…from patients. " Martins face showed reluctance in giving such a gift to any person. He wasn't one to promote the intake of alcohol.

When Louisa gave Martin one of those brilliant smiles, he knew it was the right answer.

"That would be an excellent gift Martin! A bit more expensive than what I had in mind, but a lovely touch! Thank you, I appreciate your help. I will give you the numbers tomorrow, as I need confirmation from two more guests. And Ruth. She asked if she could bring a friend, but said she could only tell me tomorrow if the friend would be able to attend."

Martin didn't say anything. He was just glad that whatever happened earlier was sorted out. Maybe he overreacted a bit.

Louisa and Ruth left early Wednesday for Truro. James was left with Janice as Louisa had a lot to do and the shops were expected to be utterly busy this time of the year. She didn't want to expose James to the craziness of Christmas shopping. Late afternoon they returned with a car boot packed with parcels. Louisa was extremely happy that she didn't take James. It was an exhausting day; it would have been pure torture for a toddler. Plus, it gave her freedom to search for gifts for James and Martin. She already knew what she wanted to give them, but she still had to go to a couple of places to find the right ones.

When Martin arrived from the surgery, Louisa and James were waiting for him on the porch as usual. He greeted both, but saw that Louisa looked exhausted.

"You look tired, Louisa. You should take it easy. There's no need to exhaust yourself like this. Have you even eaten today?" He took her wrist and tried taking her pulse. Louisa just sighed and pulled her wrist out of his grip before he was able to get a proper reading.

"I'm fine Martin, stop fussing. Christmas shopping just isn't easy. I haven't started dinner though, I just finish packing away everything I bought."

"You can go upstairs and relax a bit. Me and James will take care of dinner."

Louisa felt grateful for Martin's offer and accepted it without any protest. She walked to their bedroom, kicked off her shoes and lay down. Within a couple of minutes, she was fast asleep.

An hour later she was woken up by Martin and James. Although she still felt tired, she got up as dinner was ready.

They spend the rest of the evening playing with James. Then Louisa took him for his bath and read him his story.

After she settled James, she went downstairs where she found Martin reading a medical journal on the couch. The kitchen was spotless. Since she still felt tired, she told Martin that she was going upstairs to take a bath and then go to bed.

When Martin arrived an hour later to check on James and Louisa, she was fast asleep. Although he was glad she was sleeping, getting the necessary rest, he was also concerned about her. While she was sleeping, he took her wrist to take her pulse. It was normal. He placed his fingers against her forehead. Normal. He looked intently at her for a minute or two, monitoring her breathing, checking to see if he could find anything amiss, but she seemed fine. Maybe she was just tired from the day shopping. He stared at her for a couple more minutes, but this time it wasn't to check her health. He simply admired her beauty. She looked like an angel sleeping. He took her hand again in his, and lifted it to his mouth as he placed a soft kiss on her fingers.

Count your blessings, Ellingham, he told himself as he stood up to ready himself for bed as well.

 **A/N: I apologize for the late update...I had some "system problems". I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!**


	43. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Friday came all too soon to Martin's liking. He stood in the surgery's kitchen, thinking about what he wanted to do with the surgery now that they're not living there anymore. While sipping on his espresso, Morwenna came in all happy and chirpy.

"Mornin' Doc. Lovely day isn't it?" Morwenna smiled happily as she hung up her coat and poured herself a cuppa.

Martin frowned and growled as the weather outside was nasty. Winds were howling around the corners and it rained all night. It was bitterly cold and according to the weather forecast, snow was even mentioned. Only the brave or the desperate would go outside. Did she not have eyes in her head? Stupid girl.

Martin turned around to go to his office, when he remembered something.

"Before you go home today, please come to my office. I need to talk to you." With that he turned around and left a dumbstruck Morwenna in the kitchen.

Morwenna felt sick to her stomach. The Doc never summoned her to his office to "talk". This could only mean one thing. She's going to get fired. On Christmas eve! All sorts of thoughts ran through her mind. Maybe she talked to much. She knew the doc wasn't one for talking. Or maybe she was too opinionated and cheeky. That darn "Assertive Woman Book" only caused havoc! Yes, it did get her a raise and bagged her a boyfriend after Al finally took her on a date. But she should have stopped there. With a massive sigh she took her cup and went to her desk to start the day. Might as well get it over with.

When the first patient arrived, Morwenna wasn't her usual chirpy self. She was mentally preparing herself for the inevitable!

XXX

At the house, things were progressing nicely. Louisa woke up early and prepared herself for the day. Then she made breakfast for her family. After Martin left, she went over the meal plan and prioritized what needed to be prepared first. She gave James toys to play with and put on the radio. Christmas carols filled the house as she started some of the preparations. She was really excited about the dinner! It would be the first time she would officially hold a dinner party in their new house. The dinner party she and Martin held for Dennis and his wife, is something she doesn't ever want to think about. It was a disaster from the moment Martin invited them. So, that one doesn't count. This is her time to shine!

In-between preparing and baking, she played with James, so that he didn't feel neglected. She showed him how she mixed things and cut up the veggies, and glazed the turkey. He was eagerly looking on as everything was really fascinating. She also sang along with the Christmas songs and James was trying his best to mimic his mom, only causing her to laugh at his silliness. When James went down for his early morning nap, she took the opportunity to wrap his and Martin's gifts and placed them under the tree. The guests' gifts were already wrapped and stacked.

By mid-day everything she could do, was done. Martin had two dishes he wanted to prepare. She was sure it was his way of ensuring something healthy on the menu. She didn't mind at all, as at least it showed that he was participating in the evening's plans.

Louisa went over her guest list again.

Ruth was on the top of the list, being the only family Martin still had left. She was very surprised when Ruth asked if she could bring a friend. She just assumed Ruth would be alone. She can't wait to see who this friend is.

She Invited Morwenna due to obvious reasons. Al and Morwenna were a couple, so obviously Al was invited too. Where Al was, so was Bert, so Bert was invited as well. Plus, Bert and Ruth were getting along very nicely these days, now that they were in business together. And was she ever not going to invite Bert? He's like family.

The only person she invited from her school was Pippa and her husband. The other teachers were all fairly new ones or were away for the holidays.

Since Janice was such a vital part of their daily lives, she invited Janice. Janice is dating Joe, hard to believe, therefor Joe was also invited.

She called Roger earlier in the week to invite him and his wife and twins, expecting him to say no. She thought that they might spend Christmas with his daughter. However, after quickly repeating Louisa's request to Maureen they confirmed that they would be happy to come. Roger didn't live in Portwenn anymore, but Louisa spoke to him occasionally on the phone. She knew that Martin and Roger had a weird sort of friendship, if you could call it that. The one understood the other. She felt that Martin needed at least one person he could talk to. Plus, she was eager to see how big the twins were. And James probably also needed some company.

She did invite Chris Parsons and his wife, but they already had plans visiting their parents. She also called Caroline and Holly, who were her closest friends, but they also already had plans. They both promised to keep their schedules open for next year if Louisa was planning on making it an annual event. Louisa said that she first wanted to see how it went this year before she would decide to make it an annual affair!

She sneered as she remembered her phone call to her mom. She called to say that she was hosting a Christmas Dinner party at her new house. Just a sort of catch up call, not an invitation at all. Her mom was her usual self.

"Oh Lou-Lou. I hope you don't expect me to drop everything and come to your party. We are quite busy at the restaurant this time of year. Plus, it's an awful late invitation, flights would be pricey. And its winter in Portwenn. You know I like the sun! Sorry Lou-Lou, maybe next year, ok?"

Eleanor would never change.

So, there, that was her guest list. An odd bunch, she must admit. But, friends nonetheless

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for a light lunch. Martin would be home soon. Hopefully.

XXX

When the last patient left the Doc's consulting room, Morwenna's heart felt heavy. She had this sickening feeling at the tip of her stomach. She just sat in her chair, unable to move. She thought how awful it would be to go to Louisa's party knowing that she's just been sacked. How could the Doc do something like this on Christmas Eve? Maybe she could call Louisa and cancel. She'll make the call after…

After a good 5 minutes of staring at his door, waiting for it to open, she stood up, squared her shoulders and walked over. She knocked on the door and after his brief "Enter" she opened it up and went in.

Martin sat behind his desk, writing up patient's notes. He briefly looked up and said:" Sit, I'll be just a minute". He continued for a little while, then placed the notes on top of each other and handed the stack to Morwenna. She took it with a frown and said:" Whot's this doc?"

"Patient notes. Clearly." This girl has been acting weird all day. He noticed her looking at him oddly every time he came from his office. She seemed cross somehow.

"So…you expect me to file these". The nerve of the man, Morwenna thought to herself.

"Obviously, it's your job, isn't it?" Martin was starting to get a little annoyed with his "practice manager". She's acting crazy...well, more than usual.

"Not anymore if you're planning on givin' me the boot! On Christmas Eve no less!" Her big eyes were shooting fire at him. Martin had no clue what she was saying!

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't drag this out too long Doc. Go on, say it. I know the reason you want to "talk" to me! You want to tell me that I'm fired, right? Well, I …" Morwenna stood up from her chair and was swinging and waving her arms while she talked.

"Morwenna! Shut up and sit down!" Martin's loud voice put an end to her babbling! She suddenly felt defeated and simply slumped back into the seat.

Martin sighed and said. "I did not call you to my office to fire you. I simply…" He looked at her with big eyes and for a moment he thought how young she was. Was she even 20? This poor girl had no family left. Her parents abandoned her, her grandpa died a little while ago. But she stood her ground. She was ready to take him on. She's a fighter. She deserved more from life.

When he talked again, his voice was soft and caring, Morwenna never heard him talk to her in that tone before. "Morwenna, I just wanted to thank you, for all your … help during the year. You are competent and I think you have potential. Maybe you should consider studying." He opened the drawer to his right and took out 2 envelopes.

Morwenna could not move. The Doc's lips moved but she only had selective hearing as she was a little in shock. He wanted to thank her? And what did he say? She had potential…and something about studying.

Martin handed one of the envelopes to Morwenna. "I would gladly help you …uhm…financially…if it's something you'd want to do. Study, that is. This is a cheque. It's not signed yet and not made out to anyone yet. But I promise to do both and give you the amount that I've written on the cheque, when you come to me with a clear plan of what you would like to study. In detail."

Then he handed her the second envelope. "This one is a Christmas bonus. According to Louisa, it's something employers give to their valued associates."

Morwenna looked at the 2 envelopes in her hands. Her jaw dropped the moment the Doc handed her the first envelope. What is happening? Did someone abduct the Doc, and place this nice, soft, caring person in his place? She never heard the Doc say words like competent, and valued associate when talking about her. It was unreal. She gathered herself and stared down at the contents in her hands.

Morwenna opened the first envelope and was shocked at the amount on the cheque. Even if she worked for years, she wouldn't be able to make that much. She never even dreamed of being able to study. She thought that ship has sailed! "Doc, I'm…I'm…" She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, but nothing else came out.

"To study is expensive, and I know you won't be able to afford it on the salary you earn."

Morwenna wasn't able to talk and stared at Martin for such a long time that he started feeling uncomfortable.

Eventually she seemed to have found her voice again, although it did sound a bit shaky. "So, you are definitely NOT firin' me then?"

Martin's face softened and a very tiny smile crawled up to the corner of his mouth. "No"

Morwenna suddenly sprang up, rushed around the desk, slammed her arms around Martin's neck and kissed him on his cheek long and hard while hugging him to death! When she stood up she said with tear-filled eyes: "Thanks Doc! This is the best gift I've ever received from anyone. As in ever! I promise to go think on it and give you my plan STAT." Then she turned, ran to her desk, grabbed her bag and left through the front door, slamming it hard on her way out.

Martin took a couple of seconds to come to his senses. Woman. Strange creatures. He stood up and walked over to wash his hands. As he stood by the basin, he heard the front door open and close and thought it could only be Morwenna who most likely forgot something.

As he turned around, drying his hands on the hand towel, he nearly dropped it to the floor when he saw the person walking through his office door. It was Freya!

"What do you want? Surgery is closed. If you have a medical emergency, you should go to Wadebridge." Martin's voice was icy and irritation and annoyance was dripping off every word as he spoke.

Freya didn't worry at all. She was used to Martin's bark. She also knew that it was meaningless.

She laughed and said: "Oh, Dr Ellingham. It's good to see you too. I'm not here for a medical problem. Danny and I came to visit the folks, since it's Christmas and all." She walked over to the examining table and sat on it. "But if you want to give me a proper thorough check over, that would be great anyway!" She laughed again and started to unbutton her silk shirt while looking at him with a smirk.

"STOP that and get out! This is completely inappropriate! I am married, you've met my wife!"

"Oh, yes. Hhhmmm, Louisa, right? Danny told me all about the two of you on our ride back home the other night! Bumpy road. Not always the happy couple, aren't we? Danny still loves her you know? And he believes you don't deserve her! I think Danny is wrong…. she's the one not deserving you! "

Freya got up from the consulting table and slowly walked over to Martin while still unbuttoning her shirt. When she reached him, her top was open, exposing her perky breast covered in a red lacy bra. "You're an intriguing man, Martin Ellingham. You've slipped through my fingers once…but that won't happen again. I always get what I want…and right now, YOU are all I want! "Suddenly she pressed herself against him and kissed him on his lips! At first he was dumbfounded, but quickly steadied himself as he manged to push her off him, and move away towards the door.

"I LOVE my wife…and my son. I have NO interest in you at all. Now…Leave at once, and I would appreciate it if you don't come to my office ever again!" His eyes were spitting fire as he said those words to Freya.

She could see that he was not going to surrender…today. Patience was key Freya, she reminded herself. He will surrender….no man has ever resisted her. And the fact that he did so many years ago, made the challenge so much more exciting.

Very slowly, Freya started buttoning her shirt up again. Martin thought she would be embarrassed and leave quietly, but again, that's not Freya, is it? The woman is relentless.

"Ok, 1-0 to you Martin Ellingham. But mark my words. I LIVE for a challenge, and you dear Martin, are just that." She straightened herself and walked out of the office, but as she walked past him, she planted a kiss on his cheek! He gave her a grave look and wiped his cheek vigorously!

As Freya walked through the front door, Martin rushed over and locked it. He slumped back on the floor with his back against the door, shivering slightly as he took deep breaths to try and steady his heart rate! Gawd, that woman is infuriating! What if someone saw what Freya did? How would he ever be able to explain that to Louisa?

He steadied himself, got up and walked to his office. He went to the basin and washed his face with some cold water. When he looked in the mirror, he saw that he still had a smear of lipstick on his mouth. Disgusted, he took the hand soap and scrubbed his lips, until it started to hurt. He wiped his face and hung up the towel. He stared at himself in the mirror for a long while. He almost did not recognize the face staring back at him. Who was this person? He had a different look. Where was the stern ambitious surgeon's face he used to know? What happened to that person? The face staring back at him was so different. It's was clear…he was no longer the person Freya used to know years ago. Life in this village changed him. No, that's not correct. Louisa changed him. James also had a hand in it. But ultimately, it was her. His wife, who was waiting for him at home, preparing some horrific menu for people who would only invade their privacy. But it was people she cared for. As that's the person she is…caring! And Loving. And oh so beautiful.

He took one last look at himself while inhaling slowly, and with a huge sigh he turned around, grabbed his medical bag and left through the kitchen door.


	44. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Christmas in Port Isaac was still very traditional. Martin realised that the first year he arrived. Time stood still in this tiny little village. As the years went by, he learned how to deal with it. He simply locked himself in his house till the day passed and he could open his surgery again. Obviously most patients he saw then were having some sort of stomach bug. The cause was mainly due to overindulging in ghastly unhealthy foods and drinks. He did receive call outs on those days as well for genuine medical emergencies, not only from this village, but sometimes from surrounding villages as well, as he was always the "on call" doctor for Christmas and New Year. To him, it was not a big deal. He had nothing else to do, so why not work. Even in his years as a surgeon he could never understand why other registrars endlessly bickered over who was supposed to work on Christmas and New Year. His name was always first on the list.

Up until now, he never had a reason to worry about if he would work or not. This New Years would be the first time he asked for time off.

As he walked through the front door of his house, he knew his silent, lonely days on holidays were over. He heard Louisa and James' laughter's coming from the living room, while Christmas carols blasted over the radio coming from the kitchen's side. He hung his coat and walked to his study where he placed his medical bag when he was home. Then he went to find his family.

When he walked into the living room, he saw his wife and son playing on the couch. James was lying across Louisa's legs, while Louisa was looking for spots to tickle him.

Louisa saw him first. While still trying to find James' ticklish spots, she beamed up at Martin and said: "Hello, Martin."

That made James stop squirming as he saw his father standing there. "Daddy" he screamed, while he struggled to get away from Louisa's busy fingers. He finally managed and ran towards Martin who picked him up. "Hello James. Did you enjoy your day?" James nodded and pointed towards the kitchen while saying words no one understood.

"Oh, James was quite the little helper today. He helped with all the food preparations. And we sang Christmas carols. Didn't we James?" Louisa stood up and walked over to the two men. She placed a kiss on Martin's cheek. A little frown formed as she stepped back, but it was soon replaced with a smile!

"I made sandwiches for lunch. Nothing heavy as tonight's dinner will be quite something. Maybe you can take James and you two can go wash up?"

Martin just nodded and turned to take his son to wash up.

Louisa already had placed the sandwiches and plates at the table when Martin and James returned. She placed James' sippy cup with milk with his plate, and a glass of water for Martin and her at their plates. She sat down, as Martin walked past her to place James in his chair. Again, she frowned as the smell she thought she smelled earlier filled her nostrils more prominently this time. It was strong, heavy and far too sweet. Her heightened senses could not bear the smell and she immediately had to take a sip of water, while disgust was showing on her face. She knew she smelled it before, but was not sure when and where.

"What's that smell you're dragging along with you, Martin? It's a bit ...overpowering. And you also arrived a bit later than I expected. James and I nearly had lunch without you. Patients running late?"

Martin was just ready to sit down, when he heard Louisa's question. He knew it could only be Freya's disgusting perfume. You could always smell that one before you even saw her. It's nauseating. He was a bit startled as he was not sure how to answer the question without upsetting Louisa. He also never wanted to lie to her.

This was an important evening for his wife, even he knew that. He didn't want to do anything that would ruin the evening. He just wanted the dinner over and done and hoped that the evening would be successful in order for his wife to be happy. That's the only thing that matters.

And a discussion about Freya would not be a good one. Although he was fairly sure that he convinced her the previous time that Freya was nothing to worry about. But now he is also not so sure anymore, as he never expected to see her in his office today or any other day. She might just become one.

As he pondered what to say, Louisa watched him settled slowly in his chair while his face showed all sorts of emotions. That made her extremely uneasy as clearly it is a bit bigger than just a foreign smell. She sat back in her chair, crossed her arms and bit her lip.

When Martin finally settled and looked at Louisa he was not expecting her to look like that. She was worried, that's clear as daylight. He knew he had to come clean and quickly, before it ends in an unnecessary row about nothing.

"I was later than anticipated as I had a discussion with Morwenna after all the patients left. I took your advice and gave her a Christmas bonus. Totally unnecessary in my opinion as she does earn a salary. However, she was grateful and she gave me a hug ...and uhm...a kiss on the cheek." Martin ducked his head and reached to take a sandwich.

Louisa visibly relaxed, and leaned forward to get herself a sandwich while she placed cut up pieces into James' plate. She looked at Martin and give him a smile. "I am so happy you did that! She must have been thrilled. Well, someone must have given her some strong perfume as an early Christmas gift. It's ... intense, isn't it?" Louisa took a bite as she watched Martin.

"That was not Morwenna's...uhm, perfume. I had another visitor." Martin hoped he was doing the right thing.

"You did? Who" Now Louisa placed her elbows on the table and leaned forward as she watched Martin carefully.

"Freya." Martin looked everywhere except straight at his wife. Curse that blasted woman for putting him in such an awkward position. It was totally uncalled for.

"Freya? Danny's step sister, Freya? The one...from...from your days as a surgeon? The one who..? "

By now Louisa was punishing her lower lip severely. Martin was sure blood would soon flow.

"Yes. She came to say hello, apparently. I told her to leave unless she had a medical emergency. She didn't. Have a medical emergency, or leave. She..." Martin looked at Louisa with big eyes, and vigorously cleared his throat. "She... uh...kissed me...and hugged me. Hence the revolting smell. It happened so fast. But once I realised what was happening I told her to leave immediately."

Louisa just stared at Martin. She could not believe what he just told her. She had no words!

"She came in after Morwenna left. I thought it was Morwenna that forgot something. I did not invite her."

Martin looked at Louisa with panicked eyes. He hoped his wife believed that this was not his fault.

For a couple of awkward minutes, the 2 adults around the table were quiet while James kept babbling, unaware of the uncomfortable silence from his parents.

Louisa looked straight at Martin and he was very unsure of what was going to happen next.

Suddenly Ben's image appeared in front of her and she clearly remembered the scene where Ben kissed her. She knew how shocked she felt, and how she immediately thought of Martin. He must be feeling the same way. How odd is it that almost the same thing happened to both of them.

Louisa inhaled loudly and slowly let it out.

"Well, Martin. Thank you. For telling me what happened. From what you've told me, about Freya, this was clearly not your fault. But I have to give it to her, she's relentless, not to be handled without gloves. So next time I see her, I will make sure I'll wear my gloves!" Louisa gave Martin a look that was clear that his wife did not like what happened one bit, but he could also see that the determined look was not directed at him. He almost let out a loud sigh, relieved that he told Louisa what happened, before she found out by some other means.

Louisa grinned slightly as she said:"It seems like I will have to be careful. Woman from as far as London come to this village to get a kiss from you. Apparently you're quite a catch."

"That is completely preposterous! I'm no catch. And Freya didn't come to Portwenn for me! Don't be ridiculous, Louisa." Martin was raising his voice, almost sounding hysterical...well, as hysterical as Martin would ever sound.

"Calm down Martin. I was just teasing." Louisa smiled.

"Ahhh."

Louisa dipped her head slightly to her right while her ponytail swung to the one side. "But you're wrong, you know?"

Martin immediately frowned. "About what?" he asked slowly.

"About not being a catch. You are...and I am a very lucky woman!" She gave Martin a smile that warmed his heart, while her words warmed his cheeks and he openly blushed in front of his wife! His only response was a loud grunt.

He was just really glad that this did not turn out differently.

Now, the only thing that he still needed to get through was the dreaded dinner!

 _A/N: First of all I need to THANK a loyal and special friend who helped me with my previous chapter as well as this one! It was SO kind of you! Thanks a Million times!_

 _Secondly: I am terribly sorry for taking so long to post. I was in a bit of a slump...but have now hopefully recovered. I hope to present you all with another chapter real soon!_

 _In the mean time...Enjoy season 8! So far each episode's been Fantastic!_


	45. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

When the doorbell rang to announce their first guests, Martin and James had been ready for more than half an hour. The same could not be said about Louisa! She was the first to use the bathroom, yet he was finished long before her, and he even bathed and dressed James to give her more time.

But, he thought to himself as he looked at her as she was climbing down the stairs, every single minute was worth it, as she looked simply amazing. She had an elegant navy blue dress on that hugged her breasts but was loose around the waist. It was knee length. She completed the outfit with some impractical red high heels, which made her beautiful legs seem longer and even more desirable, and some red accessories. Her hair was up with just a few loose strands on the side. Martin just stared at her as she came to a halt next to him and James, who were both waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

Martin's thoughts went back to a little earlier in the evening, when he walked into the bedroom after dressing James. As he walked in, Louisa just slipped her dress over her head and it smoothly fell into place, but not before he had a quick glimpse of some red, very alluring undergarments. He just got a quick glimpse, but knew those would haunt him the rest of the evening. He would love to take a closer look at them as the little he saw was just enough to invoke some curiosity.

It was the thoughts of those red things that caused him not to hear his wife's question.

"Martin!"

"Yes."

"I asked if you are ready for this. Are you ok? You seem a bit …"

"Yes, I'm fine." He quickly interrupted her. He just wanted the dinner to start so that the intruders could leave their sanctuary as soon as possible.

Louisa looked at Martin for a couple of seconds…. waiting for him to compliment or just comment on her look, but he just stared at her. By now, she has come to terms that a spoken compliment was pretty hard to get from Martin, but she saw the look in his eyes. His eyes never lied.

"Ok, then. Let's invite out first guests in then." Louisa straightened her dress and smiled at James and Martin, then she walked over to the door and opened the door with a big smile!

And so the evening began. The guests arrived one after the other and the living room was soon filled with familiar faces. They had a good mixture of friends as everyone had someone to talk to. Roger and Maureen were welcome faces that a lot of them had not seen for awhile, so it was a great catch up. Roger used to be Al, Morwenna and Janice's teacher back in the day. They, together with Louisa, were all very surprised at how much Roger had changed. He was so much more relaxed…and the way he interacted with the twins and Maureen was heart-warming.

James and the twins seemed to hit it off as they played together nicely. But they were still waiting for Ruth and her guest before they could start dinner.

It was during this time, while everyone was catching up on all the latest news that Morwenna walked over to Louisa.

"Thank you so much Louisa, for the Christmas bonus… and the "other" surprise. I was so excited that I could barely wait to tell Al. You and the Doc are so amazing you know! I simply have no words. Thank you!" She gave Louisa a long hug as tears started to well up in those big eyes.

Louisa was completely gobsmacked. She knew about the Christmas bonus, but what was Morwenna talking about?

"Sorry, Morwenna. What other surprise are we talking about, hm?"

"You know…the study thing. The Doc givin' me some money to go study? I figured it could only be your influence that made him do it. So thank you." Morwenna gave Louisa her brightest smile and then turned to where she saw the Doc standing in a far corner. She nodded at him and smiled.

However, before Louisa could go over and ask Martin about it, the doorbell rang and Louisa rushed over to open the door.

When she opened the door, Louisa was left speechless. She hardly recognized Ruth!

Ruth was dressed in a very elegant long black dress that reached her ankles. Her hair was done professionally and she even had a touch of make up on. She looked beautiful.

But it was also the man next to Ruth that made Louisa's jaw drop. His tall slender frame was dressed in a wonderful stylish black suit. He was well advanced in age, but his grey hair did not make him look old, only more attractive. But the most striking thing was his incredible blue eyes. It looked as if they stared straight into your soul.

But that was not the main reason why Louisa stood there mouth open like a fish out of water.

The tall man was standing tightly next to Ruth and securely held Ruth's hand. And not like he just quickly helped her up the stairs. Their fingers were locked tightly! The way she often wished Martin would hold her hand while they are out and about in town.

Ruth's voice brought Louisa back to reality.

"I believe, even in this day and age, it's still rude to stare, Child."

That made Louisa blush a little and she gave them a shy smile.

"I am sorry Ruth. You look beautiful!" She bent over and hugged Ruth, who felt awkward as it's very un-Ellingham- like. Then she turned her attention to the person standing by Ruth's side. "Hi, my name is Louisa…" She reached out her hand and could kick herself for being so silly.

The man took her hand softly and shook it very lightly. "Good evening. My name is Thomas Doherty." He had a deep voice and a very impressive smile. He must have been quite the charmer when he was younger. But time still did him a favour.

"Please come in…we were just waiting for you..." When Ruth walked past Louisa through the door, Louisa had huge question marks on her face, but Ruth just gave her a crooked grin.

After Louisa introduced their newest guest to everyone, she nodded with her head towards the kitchen when she caught Martin's eye.

"Who is Ruth's friend?" Louisa immediately asked Martin when they entered the kitchen.

"I don't know." Martin assured her. "But he seems familiar…very familiar. It'll come to me soon."

"OK, well, let's get the food to the table, then we can start. As far as I can tell, we are well within your carbohydrate curfew."

The pair worked together smoothly and in no time all the dishes were placed on the table. Everything was ready. Louisa and Martin walked to the living room and watched their guests mingling for a minute or two. Thomas attracted a lot of attention as everyone was gathered around him and Ruth. Ruth herself seemed a bit uncomfortable. At one stage Thomas looked down on Ruth and he lightly placed his hand on her back, softly rubbing it up and own. They were standing with their backs towards the kitchen side…no one else saw the little gesture except for Louisa. Then Martin cleared his throat and announced that the table was ready.

When everyone was settled, Louisa stood up and asked for every one's attention.

"I just wanted to say thank you all for coming to our first ever Christmas dinner. We are very honoured that you all accepted our invitation.

"We all have so much to be thankful for, especially Martin and I, as we will soon be blessed with another baby. It's been quite a year, for all of us, but we all made it through and I am sure we can all agree that we have been blessed far more than what we deserve." Louisa took up her glass of grape juice and gestured that everyone do the same. "Here's to good friends, family and the most beautiful place to call our home."

Everyone cheered as they took a sip.

"Dinner can start. Enjoy!" Louisa sat down next to Martin who was stationed at the head of the table. It's customary for both hosts to fill the head spots, but Louisa was afraid Martin would be lost for the evening if she wasn't close by to include him in conversations. She wanted the evening to be enjoyable for everyone, especially Martin. She needed him to see that it's sometimes good when friends share evenings like these. She deliberately also placed Roger on his other side.

As the guests started to dish up, passing the different dishes around, Martin felt something on his leg. He immediately reached for the spot. With shock he realised it was Louisa's hand that was softly caressing his thigh softly, slowly rubbing him up and down his leg, occasionally too high to his liking. With shocked eyes he looked at her but she was deep in conversation with Maureen next to her, acting as if she wasn't doing anything at all! Luckily for him, the table cloth was very long and no one could see what was happening underneath it. But that did not stop him from feeling all hot and flushed. He immediately had to grab his tall glass of water and emptied it in one shot. When he put his glass down, Louisa turned to him and said: "Everything OK Martin?"

This woman would be the death of him, he thought. How can she sit there, all innocent like, when she knew exactly what the cause of his uneasiness was. He swallowed hard and managed to say "Yes" quite normally. Louisa removed her hand from his thigh as the dishes made their way to them, and Martin felt relieved. However, he soon felt something he never felt before. It was hard to explain, but all of the sudden it felt cold where Louisa's hand brushed...and he wished that her hand was still there! He missed the feeling. Get a grip Ellingham, he reprimanded himself, you're acting like a school boy!

The conversations around the dinner table were very enjoyable, as was the food. Everyone complimented both chefs on the lovely food they prepared. Some were truly traditional, but Martin's healthy contributions were also well received. Bert even commented that he might consider eating a little healthier if the Doc started cooking him dinners like those!

Bert, Roger and Maureen all took turns in telling tales of old times. They were all fairly older than Louisa and they knew her when she was young. They had some good tales to tell about her. Louisa laughed at the memories, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Martin could not understand how Louisa allowed those 3 to exploit her the way they did.

But as he stared at Louisa's beaming face, he knew that was exactly what she wanted, in fact hoped for. Happiness was written all over her face. He could only stare at her! He could not take his eyes of this beauty next to him...and he acknowledged her words from earlier. Yes, he was truly blessed!

"We struck gold, didn't we mate?" Rogers's words made him tear his eyes from his wife's glowing face.

"What?"

Roger grinned a bit and said: "Who knew two miserable buggers like us would be able to land such wonderful families! If you had told me when we met the first time, we'd one day be spending Christmas Eve watching our kids play together while admiring our beautiful wives, I would have told you that you had lost your marbles! Yet...here we are! Privileged Mate...that's what we are! "

Martin nodded slightly but did not say a word as he returned his glance towards his wife.

When she suddenly turned her head towards him, he was caught off guard. Whatever he felt for her at that very moment was written all over his face. She looked at his hands that were resting on the table and reached for one, but as she came closer he withdrew it and hid it below the tablecloth. She looked up at him, and he could see the hurt in her eyes, but it soon changed as he placed his hand on her thigh this time, softly caressing one spot with his thumb. She reached below the table and grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. She smiled at him and he felt himself melt in her presence. They were only drawn back to reality when the table laughed at something Bert said.

After dinner, everyone moved to the living room. The 3 boys played on the floor close to the Christmas tree with some of James' toys, while the adults sat around talking about numerous subjects that were of no interest to Martin. He had placed one of the dining room chairs to the side of the room, closer to the kids playing on the floor, than to the adults engaged in meaningless conversations. He still only had eyes for his lovely wife who never seemed so pretty as tonight. His thoughts also wandered back constantly to the hidden red garments that everyone else was totally unaware of.

It still surprised him at how confident and easy it was for her to simply talk to everyone. The whole room was her oyster, she grabbed everyone's attention and everyone had her attention. She laughed with so much ease. Unlike him, who barely said a word to anyone the whole night, she had full lengthy conversations with every single person who attended.

When there was a moment of silence for a second or 2, Louisa turned her attention to Ruth and Thomas Doherty.

"So, Mr Doherty, tell us a bit about you. As you've heard, we all know each other very well, but we know nothing about you." Louisa shot Ruth a look as she smiled.

Thomas Doherty smiled as he looked at the many faces, all paying attention to only him now.

"Please call me Thomas; I can see we are all on first name basis here. I am a retired Marine General. I used to be married, but lost my wife 5 years ago, to Alzheimer's. I have 3 daughters, and 6 grandchildren.

"I have taken up Genealogy as a hobby since I retired and it has caused me to do a lot of travelling. But it's been quite interesting."

Joe, however, asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

"General Doherty, how do you know Dr Ellingham? That is Doctor Ruth Ellingham. Not Doc Martin. Ob-vious-ly."

Thomas looked at Ruth and with a slight nod from her side, he said: "We were very close uhm ... friends, many years ago. But about 18 months ago, we bumped into each other while we were both in London. We went for coffee and reignited our friendship. We've been seeing each other when we got a chance and we're communicating by e-mail almost daily. Ruth mentioned that her sister left her a farm a while ago and that she decided to come and live here. I used to live in London but decided to move to the country side as well more than a year ago. I've scaled down on the travelling and Ruth and I got to visit more times. This is my first visit to Portwenn though. It's a charming little place, isn't it?"

Louisa replied: "Oh, it's a wonderful little village. We love it here. It's really nice that you and Ruth became such good friends again. We never met any of her friends before." She smiled at them both. It was clear that she was the only one who felt like this was a bit more than friendship. Nobody else saw the interlocked hands, or the loving gesture of Thomas's hand on Ruth's back. Louisa looked at Martin, who was clearly lost in observation. For the umpteenth time throughout the evening, she caught her husband staring at her and she wondered why. He behaved himself extremely well today...he did not insult a single guest once, and with both Bert and Joe present that was an award winning accomplishment. He definitely deserved a reward…and she had just the plan. She saw him and Roger in a short conversation earlier, but apart from that, he barely spoke a word. It's just those stares!

Just before 20:00, Roger and Maureen announced that they were leaving as they still had a little drive home and all 3 boys were clearly getting tired. James climbed unto his father's lap a while ago, yawning and rubbing his eyes, so Martin excused himself and went to put James in his bed. Needless to say, he stayed away a lot longer than necessary. When he finally returned the Fenn's got up to leave. Louisa walked over to the Christmas tree and handed Maureen and Roger each a gift, and also handed them 2 stockings filled with yummy treats and toys for the boys.

After the Fenn's left, Ruth and Thomas also got up, much to Louisa's disappointment. She wished they were the last to leave as she still had lots and lots of questions for Ruth. She also handed them their small gifts and both Martin and Louisa walked them to the door. Ruth pulled out 2 very small envelopes and one larger gift from her handbag, and handed it to Louisa.

"Here, place these under that tree of yours. It's one for each of you."

"Ah, thank you Ruth. It's so kind of you!" She leaned in and for the second time Ruth was surprised with a tight hug from Louisa.

"It's just gift cards."

Louisa smiled at the older woman. She was an odd soul.

As Ruth and Thomas walked down the stairs to where Ruth's car was parked, Ruth turned around and said: "Thomas is staying at the farm till Boxing Day. I am too, since there are no guests anyway. If you have nothing to do tomorrow and you want to come for a visit, you're more than welcome. We can have lunch together."

Louisa and Martin were both a little surprised, but Louisa composed herself quickly and said: "That would be lovely, Ruth, thank you. Is there anything you'd like us to bring?"

"Thomas said he's cooking. You all know I'm a terrible cook. You'll have to ask him."

Thomas smiled as he looked down at Ruth. "No thank you Louisa, I have everything I need. Thank you for a lovely dinner and evening. It will be my honour to cook for you tomorrow. Lunch will be at 13 hundred hours." Thomas reached out and shook Martin's hand firmly and then shook Louisa's gently. And then they were off.

As they watched the car drive away Martin suddenly spoke loudly, causing Louisa a fright as she just started the first step. "Ah, now I remember him."

"You do? You've met him before?" Louisa turned and stood in front of Martin, almost eye level.

"Yes," Martin confirmed while frowning a little. "Many years ago. I was very young. Ruth and General Doherty were invited to dinner by my parents. I just saw them as they arrived. I was summoned to greet my aunt and her guest. I was quite impressed with all his badges as he wore full military attire. I did not join them for dinner. I never did. When they left, I watched them through my bedroom window. It was late, and I was not supposed to still be awake. I guess they were a couple then. When Ruth and General Doherty reached his car, he grabbed her, lifted her up and kissed her. I immediately turned away. If my father knew I was still up and spying on guests, he would have killed me. That was the only time ever I saw Ruth with a man…and showing affection as she did."

"Really? So they were more than friends. I knew it. There is still something there though, I am sure of it. I wonder what happened?" Louisa bit the inside of her cheek while frowning.

Martin turned around and mumbled "None of our business." as he began walking back to the front door.

Louisa didn't move an inch as Martin realised soon. She still stood there with a far off look just saying "Hmmm. But still…"

Martin walked the couple of steps back and said: "We have guests inside?"

Louisa looked at him puzzled then realised he was right. "Right, we're being rude leaving them to themselves." She walked passed Martin towards the door and he followed her. He hoped the rest of the guests would leave soon as well.

Forty-five minutes later, all the guests were gone.

Janice and Joe said they had some personal plans for the rest of the evening, as if anyone wanted to know!

Morwenna, Al and Bert were the last to leave. Al had to drag Bert out, as he had started an intense conversation with Martin about his back aches returning and asking if the Doc set up a room in the house to check over patients after hours! Louisa thought that his perfect record for the evening would be compromised, but Al came to the rescue quickly. So with gifts in hand, the trio said goodbye as Louisa closed the door behind them.

Martin already turned around and walked to the kitchen to start the clean-up. She found him at the dining room table, collecting dirty dishes. He had walked and placed them in the kitchen, ready to load into the dishwasher, when he felt small arms circling his waist. He turned around and looked at his wife with raised eyebrows while he also placed his hands on her hips.

"Thank you Martin!" A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, but her eyes were glistening.

Martin frowned as he said "For what?"

He saw her swallow hard and when she talked, her voice sounded a bit shaken. "For a perfect evening. It was exactly how I imagined it. Thank you for being the perfect host and husband tonight. I expected fireworks with both Bert and Joe here. Not your most favourite people, I know."

Martin tightened his lips and mumbled "Idiots" but held Louisa's gaze.

"I know you had a tough night, Martin, but I enjoyed every moment. And it looked like James also enjoyed it. It was so nice to invite friends to our house. So thank you for allowing it."

Martin felt a bit awkward with his wife's arms around him, giving him thanks for something he didn't do. It was all her. But he said "My pleasure" anyway.

Louisa tiptoed as she placed her arms around his neck, pulling him halfway down, kissing him deeply and with a lot of passion. Martin felt how the fire that was simmering since the beginning of the night, started to flame up. When Louisa broke away from him, she could see the kiss did a lot more than what she hoped for. Those eyes spoke volumes.

"You think we can maybe postpone the cleaning for tomorrow morning?" Louisa spoke softly, close to Martin's ears. Her warm breath on his ear send shivers through him.

He was unable to talk, so only nodded in agreement. That's when Louisa did something unspeakable. She softly bit his earlobe, and then sucked on it, which absolutely turned him into a crazed state. He broke their embrace, grabbed her hand and said "Bedroom, now!" while he almost ran upstairs, with her barely keeping up. That was so funny to Louisa that she wasn't able to stop giggling all the way to their room.

They came to a halt when they both stood next to their bed. Martin leaned down and kissed Louisa tenderly. It was such an intense feeling, that Louisa felt herself melt. Gone were the silly giggles, it was replaced by intense desire. She loosened Martin's tie, and then worked on his shirt buttons. Soon they were all done and without breaking the intimate kiss, she simple pushed his jacket and shirt off his broad shoulders. Martin was brought back to earth when he felt his clothes fall to the ground. He broke away and tuned to pick them up, and neatly placed them on the chair in front of the mirror. As he walked back he saw Louisa grinning. He stopped, back tracked and got rid of his belt and pants as well, and placed it with the other garments. Then he walked back to Louisa. When he reached her, he covered her mouth with his again, to wipe away the smirk as he knew what she was thinking.

Louisa was still fully dressed, but that was exactly what Martin wanted. His clothes were mere obstacles…but hers were alluring. He wanted to undress her slowly. And that's exactly what he did.

He started with the zipper at the back of her dress. He unzipped it painstakingly slow, but Louisa decided to just let him do what he felt like doing. When he reached the bottom, he simply tugged on her dress and it fell to the floor easily.

Martin broke their intense kissing and held her at arm's length. A smothered "Louisa" crossed his lips as he stared at her.

"Something wrong?" she asked as she searched his eyes, but those showed everything she wanted to see in them. Love and desire.

"No…it's just…" Martin could only just stare at her.

"Just Whot?" Louisa hoped no stupid…hurtful words would cross his lips right now.

"I've been waiting all night to see these." He looked at her body and gestured with his hands towards her underwear.

Relieved, Louisa smiled at him. "So you saw these earlier when I got dressed? I hoped you didn't, as I wanted to surprise you tonight."

"I wish I didn't as they tortured me all night." Martin had a small smirk on his face.

That made Louisa laugh out loud. She was extremely happy at that very moment. When Martin entered the room while she was getting dressed, she hoped he didn't see anything, but thought he might have. She felt a bit disappointed if he had seen them, but even more so if he did and he didn't say anything, which only meant that he thought nothing of it. Now it was clear that it had the desired effect and she was actually extremely happy he got a glimpse of it before. It seemed to have awakened his senses! Which was just what she wanted. She also realised then what the constant staring all night was all about.

She took his hands and placed them on both her breasts. "These are only the wrapping paper to my gift to you, Martin. Do you want to unwrap your gift now?"

Martin thought for a second then said: "Would you mind if we kept the ….uhm…wrapping paper on for a little while? I'd like to see them a little longer…on you…just as I imagined all evening."

Louisa smiled and said: 'It must have been torture…"

Martin bent and whispered close to her ear. "It was …excruciating." Then he bent down and swept her off her feet and softly placed her on the bed.

It was long after midnight when Doctor and Mrs. Ellingham finally fell asleep, both quite pleased with how the night turned out.

A/N: THANKS a million to my friend...for helping me "cleaning up" my chapter - AGAIN! You're a Super Star!


	46. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Christmas morning in Portwenn broke like most December mornings in Cornwall. Miserable. Wet. Windy. For once it did not reflect the mood of the local GP. Martin woke up feeling content with his current life. Other people might call it happiness, but he knew better. Happiness is overrated. But he was not sad or lonely or even miserable all the time anymore. It sure was an improvement from a year or two ago.

He got up when he heard his son talking in his room.

Louisa woke up to the sound of James's voice. It came from the upstairs bathroom. In between all the toddler's babbling, she could hear her husband's short answers in his deep voice. A small smile crossed her face. Thinking back, she remembered how difficult things were a year ago. If someone told her a year ago that she'd be happily married, pregnant with her second child and living in a fantastic house…listening to her son happily talking to his father on Christmas morning, she would have laughed in their face! It's all still a little bit unreal.

She stretched a little and her hand immediately moved to the bump that's slightly showing. Next Christmas will also be a lot different. How will Martin cope with 2 children? She has no doubts about his love for James and she knows he will feel the same for the new baby. But how will he deal with 2 small children in a couple of years?

She heard a ping coming from her phone and reached for it. It was a message, from Ben.

She smiled as she read it.

" _Good morning Louisa,_

 _Wishing you and your family a wonderfully blessed Christmas. The sun is shining brightly here today; it's going to be a scorching hot day. I wish I could send you some good weather, as winter in Portwenn seems pretty horrible._

 _Please give my good wishes to Martin as well and give that son of yours a massive hug from me._

 _Have a great day!_

 _Ben"_

Louisa quickly typed a message back and placed the phone back on the nightstand.

Suddenly James ran into the bedroom with Martin short on his heels.

"Mommy come", he shouts as he struggled to get up the bed, clawing with his tiny fingers, pulling on the duvet, while his knees struggled to lift high enough to get on. Martin walked up to the bed and gave him a little nudge on his behind, helping him to climb on and scampered over to where Louisa was now sitting up straight against some pillows. He dived into her open arms and she hugged him tight. She smiled up at Martin and said, "Thank you Daddy for helping our little mountaineer."

He just nodded before James struggled free from Louisa's arms and started to climb down the bed the same way he climbed on. "Daddy come. Mommy come." He pointed towards the door.

Louisa laughed and asked: "Where do you want to go James?"

Martin raised his eyes and said:" Uhm, I might have told him that we have a present for him under the tree, and we will go downstairs as soon as you're awake. IF he kept quiet while you're still sleeping. He did not hold up his end of the bargain." He looked so guilty that Louisa leaned over the bed and hugged him tightly as she laughed. "So that's the reason I'm being hurried out of bed so early on Christmas morning."

Martin nodded and said "Yes" with big eyes.

"Right, so, then let's go Daddy, before our little boy explodes of excitement."

Louisa got up, put on her slippers and nightgown and quickly ran a brush through her hair and headed for the door. "Come Martin."

"Right." He started walking to the door. Suddenly he remembered the video recorder. Today seems like a day that should be captured somehow. It is their very first Christmas morning together, in their new house, as a family. He quickly went to the closet and took it out, before he headed to the stairs.

He thought Louisa and James would be in the living room, but he heard them in the kitchen.

"Martin, I just started the kettle really quickly for some tea. It's quite cold today. And James might be more excited about breakfast than presents. I'm giving him some cereal. Do you want me to start your coffee machine?" Louisa shouted in the direction of the kitchen door, thinking Martin might still be upstairs. Martin stood in the kitchen doorway and looked at her as it looked like she was trying to do all 3 things at the same time.

"I'll start the coffee machine, it's fine" he said in a low soft voice, making Louisa turn on her heels.

"Oh, all right then. Should we have some breakfast quickly as well before we head to the tree?" She didn't wait for an answer and said: "Eggs and soldiers seems like a good breakfast for today, right Martin?"

Martin filled his espresso machine with water and switched it on. Then he got some eggs from the fridge and placed them in a pot with water. He took the bread from the fridge and placed a couple of slices in the toaster. Louisa stood and watched as he simply took control of breakfast without any hesitation. In no time the eggs cooked for the required amount of minutes and he took them off. He placed them in cold water to cool down. He did all of this while Louisa and James simply watched him. He realised he had an audience when he turned around to go place some plates and cutlery on the dining room table.

Louisa walked to him, placed her arms around his waist and looked up at him. "You are an exceptionally good caregiver Martin."

Martin's brows drew a straight line. "It's just eggs and toast."

"I'm not talking about toast and eggs." Louisa hugged him for a second or two, then turned and picked up James to go place him in his high chair at the table.

They did not talk much during breakfast. James was enjoying his cereal, even if half of it was eaten outside his dinosaur bowl. Once they were done, Louisa said she'll clean the table quickly if Martin took James to wash his hands and face quickly.

Five minutes later the 3 of them settled at the Christmas tree. There were 4 gifts under the tree. Louisa placed 2 there, one for James and one for Martin and she saw 2 extra when she came down, realising that Martin must have added them.

James was very excited when he saw the colourful wrapping paper. He babbled in excitement.

Just as Louisa reached for the first gift Martin said: "Stop! Wait!" He reached for the camera in his pocket and stood up to place it on one of the side tables. He checked through the lens and shifted it slightly. Then he pressed the record button on it and said: "Continue". Louisa laughed at him and said looking directly at the camera: "OK, James. So this is our official first Christmas as a family, in our new home. I hope in the years to come; we'll have many more." She reached over to one of the colourful gifts and placed a box in front of James.

"Here my little man, Merry Christmas." She kissed him on his chubby cheek. James looked at the box with big eyes. Not sure what he's supposed to do with it.

"Here, let me help you. You have to tear off the paper to find the present inside." She took a little piece of the paper and started ripping it. It made James scream with giggles. She took his little hand in hers and together they tore off the paper. James continued to tear the papers, even though there was nothing on the box anymore. It seems like he didn't care about the box. He was fascinated by ripping the papers and every time he did, he laughed out of his tummy.

Louisa opened the box and told James to look inside. James reached inside and took the objects out one by one. A bunch of colourful balls, 2 soft plastic books that made squeaky sounds when you pushed them, some soft farm animals and a car that lit up if you pushed it around. James was so excited that he was talking so fast, nothing made any sense at all. While James was picking up all his new toys, placing them back into the box one by one, Louisa reached for a gift box covered in navy blue wrapping paper. She handed it over to Martin.

"Merry Christmas Martin."

Martin took the box with big eyes. He didn't expect her to get him anything.

He slowly and precisely unwrapped it. When he opened the lid he looked up at Louisa with a shocked look.

Louisa's teeth buried hard into her bottom lip, hoping she made the right choice.

"Louisa! This is a Rolex Military Officer watch! Vintage!"

Louisa looked at Martin with big uncertain eyes. "Yes. That's what it said. I was not sure if it would be something you'd like. But since you liked fixing clocks and such, I thought you might like the challenge. See, it's broken." She bit her lip again. "According to the owner of the antique shop I bought it from, he's been trying for years to fix it. All the parts are there, it simply doesn't want to work." She smiled and said with something that resembled pride. "I told him that you were the best. Do you think you can? Fix it? I'd hate it if I bought you something worthless."

"Louisa, this is not worthless at all, whether it's working or not. This is an Original 1915 Rolex Military Wrist watch. Pure leather band. Very rare to find." Martin was so careful when he took it out of the little box.

"Well, then I am happy you like it! I do hope you will be able to restore it."

Martin held the watch in his hand and looked at Louisa. She was unable to detect what she saw in his eyes. Emotions rushed across his face.

Martin cleared his throat before he said with a somewhat shaky voice: "This looks exactly like the watch my grandfather used to wear. That's why I recognized the model and make immediately." He looked truly sad when Louisa saw him stare at the watch for a long moment. "He was the reason I became a surgeon." After staring at it for a moment longer, he placed it back in the box. "Thank you for the gift."

Louisa gave him a smile as she was unable to say anything else. She was really happy she put so much effort in finding him a special gift. She had no idea that it would be this special though. It was a good feeling.

Martin turned towards the tree and got a small box and a bigger one from under the tree.

He clumsily handed Louisa her gift and sat the bigger box in front of James. Louisa placed her gift to the side while she crunched down next to James who was mesmerized again with yet another wrapped box of mystery. She showed him again how to rip off the paper and the little one giggled with joy. When they opened the box, Louisa lifted out a box set of books. It was a complete collection of the Paddington Series. Something every child should have.

But there were also a play doctor set in as well as a repair tool set.

"Martin, these are so cute. James is going to enjoy playing with them. And the books are the best. I still remember reading them all when I was young. James, go give daddy a big hug and say thank you".

James was completely engrossed in his play sets. He did not even hear his mommy say anything, a huge frown on his face as he's trying to figure out what everything was.

"Its fine", Martin said dipping his head. "He'll thank me later. I did not want to assume that he would be interested only in doctor equipment, therefor I bought the other set as well. He has the right to decide."

Louisa leaned over and gave Martin's hand a squeeze as she said "That is very considerate of you. Now it's my turn." She took her gift and quickly unwrapped it. Not as roughly as she showed James but with a lot of excitement.

It was a long thin box, clearly one that would normally hold a necklace. She lifted the lid. Inside was a golden Tree of Life necklace. There was a broad solid rim making up the outside circle. Louisa removed it from the box to take a closer look. There were 3 names engraved on the solid part. At the top of the tree the word Martin, right at the bottom was Louisa and on the right was James. It was exceptionally beautiful. Louisa was overwhelmed by the beauty and the names written on in. When she looked up at Martin, her eyes were filled with tears.

"It's so beautiful and the most amazing gift I've ever received. The engraved names are exceptional. Thank you." She leaned over and embraced Martin, just holding him for a while.

While still holding Louisa he spoke near her ear. "When the baby comes and we've given him or her a name, we can take it back to get the name engraved on the left hand side. It will complete our family circle. Our tree."

A sob escaped Louisa's lips and she held Martin tighter. Martin was not sure what to do, so he kept talking. "The Tree of Life is a symbol of a fresh start on life, positive energy, good health and a bright future, a symbol of immortality. A tree grows old, yet it bears seeds that contain its very essence and in this way, the tree becomes immortal. I believe it is a true reflection of us, our family."

Louisa released Marin as she wiped away the tears from her cheek. She shook her head and smiled.

"You truly are an extraordinary man Martin. My extraordinary man."

Martin felt awkward when Louisa said things like that, but these days it warms his heart and he's not so shy about it anymore.

Martin saw James struggling with the doctor's play set. He sat down beside him, taking out the stethoscope and showed James how to place it on his ears and heart.

Louisa simply watched the two of them for a while before she decided to go for a shower. soon, they needed to head over to Ruth on the farm.

 _A/N: Dear Patient Readers. I DO apologize for taking SO long in posting a new chapter. I am NOT abandoning the story; I intend to finish it. Thank you for sticking with me. I hope the chapter was worth the wait._


	47. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

When the Ellingham family drove up to the farm house, Thomas just took out the casserole from the oven. Perfect timing.

Louisa grabbed James' bag and the bottle of wine she brought as a gift for the two hosts. Martin released James from his car stool and the little one ran towards the chicken coop. He's forever been fascinated with the strange behaviour of the feathered creatures.

"James, don't touch that! "Martin's voice roared as James was just about to hook onto the fence. James immediately stepped back and looked a bit shaken up by his father's loud scream.

"Oh, Mar-tin. You scared him. He was just going to look at them. It's not as if he's going inside and picking them up. And even that would have not been so bad. They're just chickens. And he adores them" Louisa walked over to James, crunched at his side and pulled James close to her side, talking to him softly about the chickens. She showed him the difference between the male and female ones, telling him that the roosters might be a bit angry at times, so best to keep an eye on them. And then she reminded him to always wash his hands if he touched any animals. She made a perfect clucking noise, which made James laugh. He tried imitating Louisa, and the noise that came out was a weird screeching sound. It made Louisa laugh out loudly while she struggled to her feet.

"You're a funny chicken, James. Come on, Aunty Ruth is waiting for us. We can come say hello to the chickens again later, ok?"

James started running towards the door, while Louisa turned to look where Martin was. She found him staring at her.

"Martin? Are you ok?" She frowned as she walked over to him.

"I'm never going to be the kind of parent our children need…and deserve." He said while looking into her eyes. She saw insecurity and pain reflecting in his.

"You're the best father James could wish for, Martin." she reached and took his one hand in hers.

"I...It… it just doesn't come as naturally for me. You handled the chicken situation well. I could never have handled it like you just did. I only saw the filth of those ghastly things. They could make him ill." Martin's upper lip curled up, his face spread with pure disgust.

"And that's what we love about you. You try to protect us from all things that could harm us. It's your way of saying you care…you love. " She smiled one of her million dollar smiles at him. "You just might learn to not … talk so loud when you try to show him that something might hold danger. Instead of shouting, rather show him something fun or good about the object of discussion. Then you can show him the dangers there might be as well… That is something he will remember." She winked at him, and dragged him towards the door of the farmhouse.

Martin frowned and then said: "I'll try".

She stopped as they reached the door and said: "That's all I ask."

Lunch was very enjoyable. Thomas was an excellent cook. Something he found a passion for only after his wife died. He took a couple of culinary classes to perfect some techniques. Even Martin had to admit that everything was exceptionally tasty and healthy. Thomas and Louisa kept up light conversation, talking about Cornwall, the weather, Thomas' travels and Louisa's job.

Martin sat quietly and listened, mostly not contributing. Ruth was also very quiet throughout. Martin watched his aunt and frowned. She was looking at Thomas with an expression that he often recognized in Louisa. By now he learned that it was love. Could that be true? Could his steady, confident and independent aunt be in love with this man? Did she always love him? He wondered what happened all those years ago. Why did Ruth and Thomas not get married?

After the lunch table was cleared, they all moved to the living room and sat down with a cup of coffee. James climbed up Martin's lap and settled in. It was time for his nap and what better spot than daddy's lap. The grown-ups were barely settled before the little one was fast asleep. As Martin got up to go lay James down in one of the rooms, Louisa stopped him.

"Martin, if he's not too heavy and if you're not too uncomfortable, you could just leave him on your lap. He likes to snuggle up. And he doesn't often get to take afternoon naps on Daddy's lap. Do you mind just holding him? The two of you look adorable." Louisa sent him a begging look, while winking at the same time. It made Martin tuck his head and a little bit of colour crept up his face. How could Louisa say such things in front of other people? It's embarrassing!

"Yes, fine." He simply replied while adjusting his position to ensure James was doing ok.

"He's a cute little man. He's inquisitive and talkative. He's going to be a bright lad in school, I can already see that." Thomas smiled at Louisa and Martin. "I remembered the time I met you Martin. Unlike James, you were quiet and looked serious. Ruth said you were exceptionally smart. I could see she thought the world of her young nephew. This village must be the world's luckiest place to have such a dedicated and brilliant doctor as their GP."

"Hmf" was the only response he got from Martin.

To divert the conversation Louisa asked the question she was dying to ask since she met Thomas.

"Thomas, please tell us more about you. More specifically about when you and Ruth met. I love old stories." She adjusted her position and relaxed back into the seat, as if to indicate that she's ready to sit quietly and listen.

"Ruth, do you mind helping me relay the story. I'm sure there are parts I don't remember as clearly?" Thomas, who sat next to Ruth on a 2 seater, placed his arm around Ruth's shoulder at the back of the headrest and looked into her eyes. Only his fingers touched her shoulders slightly. Martin and Louisa both glanced at each other. It's odd for both of them to see Ruth like this. While Martin and Louisa exchanged looks, Ruth and Thomas stared at each other, probably longer than appropriate in the company of guests. It's clear there are some feelings lingering between these two. "Are you ready to share this story?"

Ruth slightly nodded and said "Yes, I guess it's about time. None of my family knew . . ."

Martin cleared his throat, forcing the two elderly people to look at him.

"Right, where to start" Thomas stole one more quickly glance at Ruth before he addressed Louisa.

"As you know, I was a military man. My father was in the military, my grandfather was in the military. When I met Ruth at a mutual friend's birthday party, I was only focussed on getting higher up the rankings as quickly as possible, to make my farther proud. I wasn't interested in finding a permanent girlfriend. But, when Ruth walked into the room, I lost my heart. I always thought people were crazy when they talked about love at first sight."

Martin looked at Louisa. Was there a truer statement. From the first time he saw Louisa on that plane, he was mesmerized.

Thomas cleared his throat and continued. "I immediately walked over to her, and made sure I held her attention the entire evening. She was smart, witty, had the oddest dry sense of humour and I must say, unlike all the other girls I met before, she wasn't in the least bit impressed by my military achievements. She wanted to talk about me, my hobbies, my interests, what made me tick. I guess she already practiced psychology on me!" Thomas laughed while he stroked Ruth's shoulder lightly. She gave him one of her famous skew grins, shaking her head.

Ruth decided it was her turn to tell a little of the story.

"Thomas was quite the charmer, I must say. He knew exactly what to say…and not say…to capture my attention that evening. I saw more than just a military son. He was interesting."

"Ruth and I hit it off, as the young ones will say. We started seeing each other regularly. Before long, I asked her to be my girlfriend. Ruth was very serious about her work and I was serious about my military career. I admired her courage, will power and work ethics. She was aiming high , wanting to prove to everyone that what she did was as important as any other career. Those days women Psychologists weren't high up on the ladder. But she made sure people knew who Ruth Ellingham was.

Thomas took a quick glance at Ruth, bit his bottom lip quickly and continued his story.

"At first my father was impressed by Ruth, but as she continued pursuing new heights in her career, he told me that she was not the girl for me. I needed an old-fashioned girl…like my mother. Someone who wanted to settle down, marry, raise children. A career women would not do me any good. That only sparked the flames higher on my side."

Ruth grinned and said: "Oh, daddy was very impressed with my choice of a male companion." Ruth said with a grin. "Who wouldn't want a military son in law?"

"Ruth and I dated for more than two years. I climbed the ranks and her career looked promising. We had some fun times together…and did things we probably weren't supposed to be doing…if you get what I'm implying. I thought it was time to take our relationship to a more permanent setting. So one evening, I invited Ruth for dinner with big plans on my mind. We had a good evening, she was in an excellent mood, very happy as she said she needed to tell me something. I told her that I also needed to tell her something exciting! And ask her something as well. After dinner and … uhm, let's just say after dinner, we settled and she asked what I wanted to say"

Ruth decided it was her turn to tell the story. "Thomas told me that he got a new rank, but that it meant that he had move to a new Military base…quite far from where we stayed In London. He was over the moon with excitement and said that it brought him to the question he wanted to ask. He said: "Ruth, will you marry me. We could go start our own life." Ruth grinned as she looked at Thomas. "Little did Thomas know I had some big news myself."

Thomas shrugged and looked at a spot on the carpet. It was clear he was reliving the memory in his mind. Not looking up from the spot he stared at, he continued. "Ruth told me that she also got a promotion, also needed to relocate but in the opposite direction I was headed. I felt like I was hit with a bucket of ice water right in the face. We stared at each other….and neither of us wanted to be the first to say something. I knew Ruth was very passionate about her career, and the position was something she dreamed about."

"And I knew Thomas was waiting for a break like that as well. It left us at a cross road we weren't prepared for. Life was so perfect before that evening. After a moment of contemplation, we both started to try and convince the other of the best solution. We never fought about anything, not until that night. It was terrible. I left feeling very upset and emotional, got into the car while crying my eyes out. 3 blocks from Thomas' house, I did not notice a stop sign, as tears blurred my vision. I skipped it and a car hit me right on the driver side." Ruth looked at Thomas. "Thomas said he heard the crash all the way to his house…and somehow he just knew it was me. So he ran immediately. When he got there, the other car was still crushing me from the left side. I was unconscious, but apparently blood streamed from my head and he knew there might be more injuries. If only we knew…." Ruth's voice trailed. Now she was the one staring into nothingness as she recalled the ordeal.

Louisa knew something terrible must have happened. What could it possibly be, as Ruth did not have any visible scars or abnormalities that she knew about? "If it's too painful to talk about, we don't have to, Ruth." She looked sympathetically at both people in front of her.

"No, like I said, I never told anyone about this. So it's about time I do." She attempted a smile, but failed miserably.

"The ambulance finally came and took her to the hospital. She was taken to surgery immediately as she had a broken arm and 2 broken ribs. They also needed to make sure there weren't any brain injury ." Thomas inhaled and exhaled loudly, as he if he still felt the intensity of the moment there in the hospital and needed to calm himself. With his free hand, he took one of Ruth's hands and squeezed it lightly and kept holding her hand like that. He cleared his throat before he continued.

"After the surgery the doctor on call came out, looking so miserable, I though he was going to tell me Ruth did not make it. It was the worst feeling. Well, almost the worst feeling, as what he told me afterwards, was definitely the worst feeling ever. He said: "Ruth is doing well, under the circumstances. Her arm had a clean break, so it will heal and the cracked ribs will heal in time. The wound on her head isn't too deep, we had to give it 6 stitches, but it will heal well. But… I am so terribly sorry to say…She lost the baby!"

Louisa and Martin both let out a loud gasp and looked at each other with mouths open. "What did you say?" Asked Louisa.

"You heard him, Louisa. Apparently I was pregnant…and lost the baby, our baby." Ruth blinked a couple of times in order to make sure no tears would fall. "I didn't even know." She whispered.

"O MY! I am so sorry Ruth." Louisa placed her hand in front of her mouth and tears formed in her eyes.

"After Ruth was released from Hospital, she withdrew from me. She did not want to see me, no matter how many times I tried to visit. I did not tell anyone about the baby. I knew it was something she had to tell on her own time. But she never told anyone. "

"I was an emotional wreck after the accident. I did not know what to feel. It would have been a terrible shame for me to be pregnant when we weren't even married, but the fact that I lost the baby was far worse. I felt like I killed our baby due to my own recklessness. I failed the only man I ever loved. I could not bear to be in his presence. So I asked him to let me be…take the new job and forget about me. I told him I needed time and space. He should take the promotion as I will take the job offered to me." Ruth glanced up at Thomas and then looked down at their entwined hands.

Thomas sighed heavily. "It was the hardest thing, till this day, that I had to do. But I respected Ruth's wishes. Soon I found myself far from London, drowning myself in my new rank, having no life outside of the military. I was a fierce leader, and climbed the ranks quite quickly. I moved all of England every now and again. In record time I reached the top."

Ruth nodded. "I followed his career closely. He did well for himself. I convinced myself I made the right decision for the both of us. I too buried myself in work and never had time for socializing. I believed I would never find another man that would live up to Thomas. And I didn't because I was not willing to search. So here I am today. Never married, never a mother. "Ruth's eyes were filled with unshed tears.

Thomas swallowed hard before he continued. "I met my wife almost 8 years after that. I was unable to approach women after Ruth. I kept measuring them up, and everyone always came up short. Until I met Margery. I told her from the beginning what happened between Ruth and I. She was kind, loving, beautiful and patient…and in the end I learned to love her. I was faithful to our marriage till she passed away. On the day she died, she told me to go find Ruth…and make things right. At first I did not want to even think about finding Ruth. I was too hurt with Margery's death. But as time passed, I realized that she knew my heart always belonged to Ruth. I did love Margery…and I am grateful for the life we shared, the children she gave me, in the end my love for Ruth never died. So I tracked her down. And here we are. I'm hoping that this stubborn lady won't turn me down again. We've already wasted a lifetime!" Thomas gave Ruth's hand a squeeze as he smiled at her. Ruth gave him a grin while she shook her head.

Seconds ticked by silently until everyone was brought back to reality when a loud sniff was heard. Everyone's heads turned to Louisa, who was sobbing uncontrollably.

"That...(sniff)…was the saddest… (sniff sniff)…story I ever heard." She cried while tears was rolling down. "I am so sorry Ruth." She picked up her handbag next to her chair and started digging or some Kleenex. After finding it, she wiped her eyes dry and blew her nose. "Sorry about the sobbing. Must be pregnancy hormones" She winked at Martin and gave him a smile. Martin just nodded.

At that moment Martin's phone rang, which woke up James, who wasn't happy, so Martin handed James to Louisa who was soothing her precious boy. She held him tightly as she thought just how lucky she was to have this little boy.

"Ellingham!" Martin gruffly answered his phone. He was secretly happy his phone rang at that moment as the sombre heavy emotions hanging in the room was more than he could take. Ruth and Thomas' story was a surprise to him. He did not know what to say to them. And it made Louisa cry.

A panicked voice came on the Phone. "Martin! Martin! It's Freya. You have to come and help me, Please! "

Martin turned and walked to the kitchen. When he was sure no one was paying any attention to him, he said: "Freya? What do YOU want!"


End file.
